Keeper of the Heart

by Lindsey, Johanna

  “Yet,” Falon added ominously. “Where is her heart, woman? What must I do to destroy her?”

  Once more Shanelle groaned, this time quite loudly, but she also squeezed his neck a little harder. This was a different type of fear she was in the grips of, and she honestly didn’t understand it. All she knew was that she had to make him understand before Martha lost patience with him and he was gone, never to be seen again.

  “You can’t hurt Martha, Falon. She belongs to my mother. She’s also my mother’s best friend. If you hurt her, my mother would be devastated. I couldn’t forgive you for that. My father wouldn’t forgive you either, and my mother would try to kill you. All of that for what? Because she angers you? Martha angers everyone sooner or later. That’s just the way she is.”

  “So she is another one I cannot be rid of without causing you upset?”

  He didn’t sound too angry now, and when his cheek nuzzled hers, she realized why. She was pressed tightly to him and he was very appreciative of that fact. But he wasn’t holding her there. He was proving he meant what he said about not touching her. But she was touching him, and a jolt of pure sexual pleasure went through her so suddenly, she shivered with it. Damn him! How could he keep doing that to her when she hated everything about him? But the attraction was still there. She couldn’t deny it. She just wasn’t about to let it get to her again. Besides, joining with him again, no matter how much the idea pulled at her, would only encourage him, making this impossible situation even worse than it already was.

  She unwrapped herself from his body to stare at him with what she hoped was an unrevealing expression. His own expression was telling. The man did want her. His light blue eyes fairly blazed with it, and another jolt of pure sexual hunger went through her, more powerful than the last, so powerful she could think of nothing else.

  Before she could do something stupid, like give in to that silent entreaty, the audiovisual console in the corner started chiming. Shanelle turned toward it and gave it permission to speak, grateful for the distraction even though she knew full well who was calling.

  And sure enough, the console lit up with a view of the Rover’s Control Room, and Martha’s voice blasted out. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t dump him in the middle of a pride of wild fembairi.”

  Shanelle wanted Falon out of her life, not dead. The mere thought of it flustered her so much, all she could answer was, “Because—because… just because.”

  “Well, we can’t get more illuminating than that, can we?” Martha came back dryly.

  “Couldn’t you just forget about this, Martha? Falon is going to leave now—”

  “You’re damn right he is, and right now.”

  “No!” Shanelle shouted and swung around. But Transferring was instantaneous. Falon was already gone. “Where did you send him?”

  “Relax, kiddo,” Martha said, sounding much more like herself now that she’d got even. “He’s back in his own room, where I should have put him before your sleep was disturbed. I can’t have him thinking I won’t follow through on what I promise, can I?”

  Shanelle glared furiously at the console, the fright she had just experienced taking refuge in anger. “You didn’t have to play I’m-tougher-than-you-are! You could have left him alone. Dammit, I was in control of the situation for once, so why did you deliberately provoke him?”

  If Martha could shrug with blatant unconcern, she’d be doing it now. “Just doing my job.”

  It was impossible to argue with a Mock II, so Shanelle turned to further vent her anger in a different direction. “And how come you just sat there the whole time, Corth? Didn’t I tell him to leave? Shouldn’t you have at least made an effort to assist him in going?”

  “He had yet to see to your anger, Shani, which only he could do as the cause of it. And when he did, I did not hear you tell him to leave again. Nor did he touch you other than to relieve your pain. It was you who was touching him.”

  “When did you start analyzing situations before you act?” she grumbled with less heat.

  “Martha has explained to me that sometimes a no does not mean a no after a woman has had her socks knocked off, because there is too much uncertainty in true feelings.”

  “Martha!”

  “Well, he was asking so farden many questions, what was I supposed to tell him? That you hate the guy’s guts, when that warrior has you practically panting every time you see him? And besides, you don’t really want Corth tangling with him. Your Falon’s pride might not withstand it. Much better if he gets shown up by something he can’t fight against.”

  Shanelle hated it when there turned out to be perfect soundness to Martha’s madness. “I’m going back to bed. I don’t even want to think about how angry that warrior is going to be the next time I see him, nor do I want to dwell any longer on how helpful you two have been. Maybe you should have sent Falon back to his room before I woke up, because now I just have one more thing to worry about.”

  “Well, you don’t expect me to do everything right, do you?”

  Shanelle nearly choked on that one.

  Chapter 17

  Tedra had no sooner walked into her dressing room the next morning than Martha’s main housing terminal flashed on, and Martha’s voice complained, “It’s disgusting how much time you spend in that bed at your age. Don’t you ever get tired of sharing so much sex with the same man?”

  “Uh-oh.” Tedra grinned as she stepped into her solaray bath for the required three-second cleaning, then out again. “Whenever you attack me, old girl, you aren’t happy about something, and it’s usually something you’ve done. What is it this time?”

  “That was a legitimate complaint, now that I think about it, especially since I’ve been waiting half the night and then some for you to make an appearance. The extra hour you just spent with the big guy really grated on my nerves. I’m amazed I restrained myself from interrupting that little bout of fun.”

  “You don’t have nerves, and the last time you interrupted Challen when he didn’t want to be interrupted, you found yourself moved in with Brock, and you hated that enough to mind your manners after that. Besides, can I help it if my barbarian loves me so much he can’t keep his hands off me?”

  “You don’t have to like it so much.”

  Tedra’s eyes rounded incredulously before she burst into laughter. “We really are having a circuit breakdown this morning, aren’t we? Why don’t you stop going round the block already and tell me what’s really bothering you?” And then she stopped in the middle of slipping into a fresh chauri. “Wait a minute. You spent the night with Shani. What have you done now, Martha?”

  “What do you mean, what have I done?” the computer huffed indignantly. “I analyzed and acted in accordance with your wishes. But when there is more than one option to choose from, I have to wonder if one wouldn’t have been better than another— in the overall scheme of things, at any rate.”

  “I don’t think I like the sound of this. Which option did you choose that you’re not absolutely thrilled about?”

  “See for yourself.”

  Tedra sat down warily before the computer’s video port to watch a reenactment of what happened in her daughter’s room last night, half recorded from Martha’s viewer, half simulated by the Rover’s monitoring system when Martha’s sight wasn’t directly on the subjects. Everything was there, from the moment the Ba-Har-ani entered the room until Shani was back in bed and pounding the hell out of her pillow before she fell back into a fitful sleep.

  When the video port went blank, Tedra said with more than a little bemusement, “I’ve never seen her that angry with anyone before, nor that protective.”

  “Sexual emotions aren’t easy to deal with when they’re new. You ought to know that, or has it been too long for you to remember?”

  Tedra made a face. “Real cute. And I see you were right as usual, Martha. She does still want him. It was written all over her face, even if she did turn him down.”

 
; “Yes, but she did say no. Right now she honestly believes she won’t be happy with a warrior, so for the time being, it’s a no-win situation. But I could have kept my mouth shut last night and given that warrior an opportunity to rid your daughter of one of her fears concerning him.”

  Tedra didn’t have to ask which one. “Do you think he could have?”

  “He was determined enough. Of course, how he would have acquitted himself if he had given free rein to that desire he was in the grips of is another story. He failed once, and probables says he hasn’t yet had enough time to learn how to fully control what Shani makes him feel. He’s making the effort. You saw for yourself how he restrained himself from even touching her when he was so highly charged. It was a wonder my circuits weren’t melted just being in the same vicinity.”

  “That’s not what I need to hear, Martha,” Tedra grumbled.

  “Sure it is, since it supports the fact that anyone who can get that charged with emotion is bound to have the one emotion Shani wants above all else. No one can tell me that particular Sha-Ka’ani male isn’t going to love your daughter to pieces if he gets the chance to. As far as I’m concerned, that isn’t an issue.”

  Tedra was inclined to agree. She’d always maintained that all warriors had the capacity to love. You just had to figure out how to get them to admit it, since they considered it an unwarriorlike emotion. But the Ba-Har-ani weren’t like Kan-is-Tran warriors at all when it came to emotions and controlling them, so Martha was undoubtedly right on this point, too. Still…

  “Those aren’t Shani’s only objections to a warrior, Martha. What about her unreasonable fear of a warrior’s punishment?”

  “She feared Kan-is-Tran punishment.”

  “And was outraged by the Ba-Har-ani equivalent, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t fear it. You know how silly she gets over pain.”

  “Give me a break, doll. You’re talking about a child’s punishment. How painful can that be? It’s the humiliation an adult would feel in getting spanked that is the real punishment, not a temporary hot seat.”

  Tedra grinned, remembering the time she’d got spanked herself, and she’d asked for it. But she also recalled that it hadn’t been at all painful.

  “All right,” she conceded. “So maybe that isn’t a problem that even needs consideration, though I doubt Shani will see it that way.” Then she sighed. “Stars, I wish I could make up my mind about this man and stick to it.”

  “You already have. So has Shani, for that matter. You’re just both disappointed that the poor guy isn’t as perfect as Challen.”

  “Don’t make me laugh.” Tedra snorted. “Challen perfect? Since when?”

  Martha chuckled. “Just because he still drives you up a wall occasionally with a few of his barbarian tendencies doesn’t mean you don’t think he’s the next best thing to ambrosia. You wanted him from the first moment you saw him. You just weren’t planning on keeping him then. Your daughter, on the other hand, wanted the Ba-Har-ani from the start and was planning on keeping him. He’s die one who blew it by not getting her hooked with their first joining. And that’s his only true fault here. Everything else can be worked out. You even said so yourself.”

  “That was before I knew he was a farden slaveholder,” Tedra reminded her.

  “Slaves can be sold, can’t they?”

  “What if he won’t?”

  “He will if Challen makes it a stipulation to acquiring his daughter.”

  After a short silence Tedra suddenly grinned. “And to think I sometimes wonder why I keep you around.” Martha merely made a rude-sounding noise at that, but Tedra had a new question, one Shani probably didn’t know the answer to herself. “We’ve established she still wants him whether she’ll admit it or not, but does she love him yet?”

  “What am I, a mind reader?”

  “You’re an expert in deductions and probables, as you so frequently remind me and anyone else who’ll listen, which amounts to the same thing, so give—or am I going to hate the answer?”

  “If you were hoping she’d be all starry-eyed already just because she’s hot for the guy, you can forget it. She might be fainthearted in certain areas, but she’s strong-willed in others, and the plain fact is she won’t let herself love the Ba-Har-ani as long as she thinks she’s going to avoid belonging to him. So it’s not going to happen until she does belong to him and has no reason to fight it anymore.”

  “That’s just great,” Tedra replied testily. “So where does that leave me as far as decisions are concerned? What do I do when Shani still insists on leaving?”

  “You let her go,” Martha said simply. “I get to play with meteors for a few weeks while Shani has time to conquer her fears and realize she was making a big deal out of nothing. Meanwhile, the Ba-Har-ani gets to learn patience.”

  Tedra bit her lip. “A few weeks?”

  “It shouldn’t take much longer than that with me subtly working on her.”

  A few hours later, Tedra stood beside Challen and watched Falon Van’yer win yet another round in the competitions. She was getting disgusted with the ease with which he was winning, cutting each match down to less than half the time it should take in his impatience to have the competitions over. It would have been a pleasure to watch that kind of superior sword skill if she wasn’t so angry at that young man for all the trouble he was going to cause in her family. And it was all so unnecessary.

  Shani wanted him. Challen already approved of him. Martha didn’t even object to him. That should have made for no obstacles. Instead, Shani was going to leave home, defying her father in the process and ending up sick at heart about it. Challen was going to be furious, and guess who was going to catch hell for it? Not the one who ought to be blamed, but yours truly. And for what? Because that young man allowed his emotions to run amok.

  “He fights well, does he not?” Challen observed with a good deal of pleasure.

  Tedra gritted her teeth, knowing farden well her lifemate had already made up his mind about Falon. “Why shouldn’t he?” she replied testily. “He’s got jealousy goading him, giving him an advantage over every warrior here.”

  “Jealousy?” Challen said skeptically, looking down at her now.

  “Absolutely. That warrior isn’t fighting to be champion. He could care less about that. He’s fighting just for our daughter. Hell, he already thinks of her as his. And that makes him see every other warrior here not as a mere opponent, but as a rival trying to steal what’s his. He’s jealous all right. He’s pea green with it.”

  “And this displeases you, you who are wont to call a warrior a jerk because he lacks certain emotions?”

  Tedra’s cheeks pinkened the tiniest bit. “There’s such a thing as too much emotion,” she grumbled.

  Challen chuckled. “Woman, you will find fault with any man who threatens to take your daughter from you. Admit that is all you have against this young shodan.”

  Stars, how she wanted to blurt out what the real problem was. She wasn’t used to keeping secrets from Challen, though right now he more than deserved it after he’d kept secret from her the real reason behind these competitions. But getting him incensed over his daughter’s now missing innocence wasn’t going to accomplish anything other than his disappointment in Shani, and add more problems to join the rest.

  So all she answered was, “Sure. Whatever you say, babe,” and got him off the subject of Shani’s suitors by adding, “But he’s not so hot. You could take him easily.”

  “You have too much pride in your lifemate,” he replied, trying to sound admonishing, but he couldn’t quite pull it off, too pleased by her remark.

  “With reason.”

  She grinned and bumped hips with him before sauntering off. His laughter followed her. She savored the sound, realizing that in a few days she probably wouldn’t hear it anymore for a very long while.

  Chapter 18

  Falon was in the corridor when Shanelle opened her door the next morning. It was kind of obvio
us that he was waiting for her because he just stood there, leaning casually against the wall across from her. That she didn’t want to speak to him again was obvious, too, since she promptly closed her door.

  But he didn’t push his way into her room as he had yesterday, nor did he knock on her door. He didn’t do anything. Since she was inside waiting nervously for him to do something, his not doing anything managed to stimulate in her aggravation of the teeth-grinding kind.

  She wasn’t about to remain in her room all day just because the man wouldn’t take no for an answer. She would simply leave without acknowledging that he was out there. She wouldn’t even look at him.

  She did just that. But it was a well-known fact of Sha-Ka’ani life that it was literally impossible to ignore a warrior who didn’t want to be ignored— and this one refused to be ignored.

  He fell into step beside her. “Where do you go this rising, Shanelle?”

  Without answering, she just kept walking—and found herself suddenly up against the wall with his arms caging her in on both sides.

  “I repeat, where do you go?”

  For about two seconds she considered still not answering, but he looked so damn stuck-in-the-ground obstinate, she had the feeling he’d keep her there all day if she didn’t.

  Coldly, so he wouldn’t doubt her reasons for saying so, she told him, “I’ve heard that you don’t like visitors, so I’m going to spend the day with my visitor friends.”

  “At the competitions?”

  “Where I go is none of your—”

  “Answer!”

  “Dammit, I won’t! Where do you get off—”

  “I liked your white cloak better,” he interrupted again, fingering her garment, leading their conversation in a new direction. “It was not mine, yet was it my color.”

  She snatched the material from his fingers, glaring at him. “I told you I would never wear white again.”