by A. E. Murphy
Tiffany immediately assaults me at work, literally as soon as I step through the door. “Mine tonight - I’m making cocktails and we’re stealing from the local bakery.”
My brow quirks. “You mean the place we work?”
She giggles and clicks her fingers. “I knew you’d know it.”
“Weirdo.” I mutter, smirking at her as I pass. Hanging my coat up, I nod in agreement. “Alright, sounds fun. What time?”
“Duh.” Elle chimes in. “When we finish, silly.”
Right. “I’m not drinking though. I have to express this weekend.”
“That reminds me of this thing I saw on TV about ice cream made with breast milk.” Tiffany taps her chin in thought. “I’d try it.”
My mouth falls open and my jaw hits the floor, right before I laugh and push her away. “I’m not making ice cream from my boob juice.”
Elle shudders along with me. “Tiffany… I… need I say more?”
“What?” The innocent look on Tiffany’s face makes me laugh even more. She genuinely doesn’t see what we’re so grossed out about. “We all drank it once.”
“Here then.” Elle grabs the top of my t-shirt and pulls it down, exposing the cups of my lace bra. I shriek and pull away from her. “Have a suck.”
“You are vile.” I choke out, trying to calm my laughter but failing miserably.
Tiffany cackles right along with me, her curly hair bouncing with each breath.
“If that’s my something special, I so wish I’d come in sooner.” Oh my god. I know that voice.
“What’s all the fuss about?” Valentine hobbles through the kitchen door as I pull up my shirt and pretend I’m busy doing something where my back needs to be turned to Eric. After a few seconds of awkward silence I realise eyes are on me, my so called colleagues’ curious eyes to be exact.
Letting my shoulders sag, I turn to face the handsome man that has plagued so many of my thoughts recently.
“I’ll leave you young people to your fun,” Valentine mutters when nobody tells her the joke. It’s not like we can explain it; it was one of those ‘you had to be there’ moments. I’ll tell her later.
“I’ve got shelves to clean and Elle has shelves to stock.” Tiffany says, way too cheerfully, and pulls a nosy Elle away by the scruff of her neck.
“Hi.” I finally look at him and instantly feel my cheeks heat. He’s gazing at me, in that way that only really handsome men can gaze at you and make you feel like you’re completely naked. “What can I get for you?”
His eyes flicker to the curves of my breasts and his smile widens. I throw a pen at him. Fortunately he finds it funny and doesn’t sue me for assault. “Feisty. I like it.”
“I’m going to spit in your cookies.”
He lets out a chuckle and shrugs. “As long as you don’t make them with breast milk.” Did he hear all of that? Please say no. “Although…” I launch another pen at his suggestive tone. “I’m kidding. I’m actually here to collect doughnuts for a friend. He said he’d already called. Josh Rode.”
“I’ve got it.” Elle calls and gets to work on the dozen donuts.
Why do I feel slightly disappointed that he’s not here to see me? “Okay, so maybe I volunteered to come because I wanted to see a certain somebody again.” His eyes are soft now, and aimed at me.
“He’s talking about me,” Tiffany whispers loudly in my ear and leans on the counter. I know she’s joking, but Eric looks slightly frightened. Elle pulls her away, both of them giggling like teenagers. Sigh.
“Sorry about them. They were quiet when I first met them. I don’t know what happened.” I joke and glare fondly at the two women. They quickly duck their heads and return to their duties. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.” It has been two weeks since I saw him, two weeks since Nathan had Dillan, and two weeks of sheer boredom.
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me again.” He admits, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you flour free.”
My cheeks heat. “Yes. I’ve only just arrived myself, not long before you came in.”
“Both are stunning.”
“Huh?”
“You covered in flour, you not covered in flour.” He leans over the counter and smiles crookedly. “Stunning.” Gulp. “I get that you don’t want to date right now.” You can say that again. “But I really don’t like being told no. It’s not good for my ego.” I’ll bet. “So I’m going to suggest something and you’re not allowed to say no because it’s completely innocent and totally platonic.”
He’s charming; I’ll give him that. “And what’s that?”
“I have this thing tomorrow and I need a date.” I open my mouth to say no, but he quickly continues. “Well, not a date but a friend to join me.”
“And what is this thing?”
“I can’t tell you because you’ll say no.”
Is he serious? “But if you don’t tell me, I’m going to say no.”
“You’ll enjoy yourself, I promise. You can also bring your baby if you want to.” Not a chance, but what is it that would allow me to bring a four month old? “Please say yes.”
Chewing on my lip for a moment, I contemplate my options. Stay at home, lonely and bored, or take a chance on a possibly good day out with a seemingly nice guy? “Sure. Dillan is with his uncle tomorrow so I’m free.”
“Excellent.” He grins and slides a folded note across the counter. “I’m giving you a chance to back out. If you haven’t texted me by eleven in the morning, I’ll leave you alone and never bother you again. Well…not including my frequent trips to the bakery where you happen to work.” I pocket the note and tuck my hair nervously behind my ear. “No hard feelings at all.”
Damn he’s sweet. “Thank you.”
He gives me another smile as Elle hands him the box of doughnuts. “Until tomorrow.”
“You still haven’t ordered anything.” I comment. “I owe you.”
“I’ll collect it when the time’s right.” His cheeky smile is the last thing I see before he exits the store and climbs into his car.
The girls start cheering, almost deafening me in the process. I blush like a virgin and scarper into the safety of the kitchen where Valentine awaits eagerly to hear the story. Elle tells her about Eric before I even get the chance and soon Valentine is cheering with them. There’s a pharmacy across the road; I’m definitely buying ear plugs during my break.
As it is, I don’t need earplugs because the bakery gets way busier than normal. Apparently there’s some kind of kite festival down on the beach and everyone is stopping off here for iced drinks and sweet snacks. By noon I’ve not stopped baking and already we’ve run out of the favourites. Valentine fortunately prepared for the festival, but she didn’t make enough. Nobody expected it to be such a turn out, but with the weather being perfectly windy and not too cold, the town is swarmed like it never has been before.
When I look through the window I can see some of the larger kites in the air. One of them is shaped like Shrek and it makes me smile. I bet Dillan would love this if he were older. It’s been a while since we had this festival in town. I think the last time was when I was five and I thought it was brilliant. I hope it comes around again when Dillan is that age.
“Okay, these old bones need a break.” Valentine announces and flops onto a nearby chair, using a book to fan her face. “Can you handle the rest for a while?”
I nod. “No problem. Why don’t you go and lie down for a bit?”
“I need to be here, just in case you get stuck.”
This is obviously a possibility, but I refuse to admit defeat. “It’s fine. I’ve got this. Everything is almost ready to come out anyway. You go, and I’ll shout you if we need anything.”
She mulls it over for a moment before nodding wearily and climbing back up from the chair. “I knew I’d be glad I hired you.”
I smile at that and get back to work cleaning our used utensils. She pats
me on the back as she walks past and soon disappears through the door that leads to her flat upstairs.
Okay, I can do this.
“I think I’m definitely going to be joining you for non-alcoholic cocktails and treats tonight.” I say to Tiffany, flopping into the same chair that Valentine flopped into hours ago.
Tiffany grins and claps her hands. “Brilliant. I’ll stock up a box of whatever is left.”
“Yay.” I say, but it comes out sounding tired and defeated. “I need to go home and have a shower first.”
“Duly noted. You go on ahead, we’ll handle the lock up. I’ll pick you up in about forty minutes.”
Well at least I don’t have to walk to hers on my aching feet. I hang up my apron and head home. As soon as I fall through the door, I stumble to the shower and barely get my clothes off before climbing in. I even go as far as to sit on the tiled floor; my body just can’t hold me up. I’m exhausted, but I don’t want to sleep. I want to have fun.
It’s a huge change. A few months ago the idea of fun was abhorrent to me. Now I feel like I want to start living again. Caleb… I’m sorry.
“One virgin Tiffany surprise, without the surprise because it’s virgin.” Tiffany grins and hands me a tall glass of purple, ugly looking liquid. I take a tentative sip, surprised when it actually tastes good. “It has grapes in it.”
“It’s great.” I nod slowly with a smile and watch Elle switch to the music channels via the TV remote.
Tiffany takes a picture of me holding the glass, much to my annoyance. I hate pictures and I don’t ever use the social networking sites that are available. She still uploads it. I’m grateful I’ll never see it.
Am I dull? I sound really dull.
“How’s the baba?” Elle asks, turning the TV down low after the neighbours bang on the wall a few times. Tiffany glares at the wall as if it’s to blame. This makes me snigger.
“He’s great.” Although I have yet to hear from Nathan. I should text him.
Gwen: How are you both? Is he being good?
“He’s gorgeous. I want baby cuddles but I never get to see him outside of work.” Elle moans.
Tiffany nods in agreement. “Yeah, we should all go for lunch soon.” Even though we either work at the same time or on different days. “We’ll figure something out. Are you working tomorrow?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s Sunday. I never work Sundays.”
“I do, every freakin’ Sunday.” Tiffany grumbles and sits in between Elle and myself. “Which means I have to be really careful to avoid a hangover.”
“Woe is me.” Elle jests and places her hand to her forehead. I can’t help but giggle.
“Shut up.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out and read the text.
Nathan: All is well. He’s sleeping. How is your evening?
Gwen: It’s actually really good. I’m sat with two ladies from work, Elle and Tiffany. They’re drinking cocktails, mine is virgin. I haven’t laughed so much in a really long time :-)
“Who’s on the other end of the texting line?” Tiffany leans into me, attempting to see my message. “Aww, Elle, she thinks we’re ladies.”
Another round of laughter begins.
Nathan: Virgin? Alcohol free I assume?
Gwen: Yes…
“Are you texting pretty boy from earlier? You’re all smiley.” Elle says and downs the rest of her drink. Tiffany refills it for her with the glass jug full of ugly purple fluid on the table.
“No, it’s Nathan.” I admit and place my phone back in my pocket.
“Dillan’s uncle? Damn, he’s hot.”
“And brooding. Did you see that smouldering look he had on his face?” Tiffany adds and fans her face. “He single?”
I nod. “But he’s complicated.”
“You’re taken.” Elle snaps playfully at her friend.
“I can dream. So, what’s the deal with Nathan? Why’s he got Dillan and not his brother?”
I should tell them, but I feel like such a sob story when I do tell people. It’ll just ruin the night.
Fortunately I’m saved from explanations when her phone starts ringing. They seem to forget when Tiffany trips over the coffee table on the way to answer it and ends up sprawled on the floor in an uncomfortable looking starfish position. My gut hurts from laughing so hard.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Mum?” I say as I lean against the doorframe to the kitchen. She stirs her coffee slowly, still half asleep.
“Yeah?” She looks at me through swollen bloodshot eyes. “You look nice.”
“You’re working too hard.” I frown and wipe down the area around her cup after entering the kitchen. “Do you think it’s too soon for me to start dating?”
She tenses, her hands gripping the cup tighter than before. I daren’t look at her to gauge her reaction, just in case I see judgement in her eyes. Suddenly her hand wraps around mine and I gulp, waiting for her harsh words of wisdom.
“Baby¸” I’m shocked at the soft tone of her voice, “I don’t think so. I think you’re young and I think you need to have some fun.” I look at her in horror, but she laughs and shakes her head. “Not kinky fun.”
“I don’t know. I’m just… I feel so guilty.”
“Are you ready?”
“Will I ever be?” My eyes water. I lower my head onto my arms and tilt it towards her fingers, which begin running through my hair.
She lets out a long breath. “Don’t push yourself into it and don’t let anybody else push you into it. I think you’re now at a place where you can entertain the idea. You’re doing a lot better than you were.”
“You think?” I sniff and peek up at her through my lashes, my eyes now probably as swollen as hers.
“Yes. When you first came home you were…” She shudders slightly at the memory. “A robot. But then again, you had just been through a lot with Nathan.” Her eyes seek mine as she leans closer. “I know you care about him.”
My teeth find the inside of my cheek and grip it tight.
“Maybe more than you should.” She whispers this and I’m unsure why.
“No.” I deny it. It’s not true. “We never… nothing ever happened between us. Not like that.” Well it did, but it was all him. Not me. I didn’t reciprocate it. Did I?
Her lips tilt up at the corners. “I know. You don’t need to have sex to love somebody.”
My mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. “That… I don’t love him that way.” I love him, just not in a romantic way. Like a brother maybe? No, that’s not right. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Nathan as a brother. Love leads to sex when it’s not in a familial sense. Could I have sex with Nathan? The thought isn’t as appalling as it should be.
“Okay.” She definitely doesn’t agree, so why is she agreeing?
How can I be so ridiculous? Me and Nathan? No way. Not a chance. “This guy asked me out. He’s picking me up in an hour.” Now Eric, he should be the kind of guy I’m thinking of in those terms. I think…
“Oh.” She nods slowly. “Is he hot?”
“Mum!” I laugh, my cheeks heating. “Yes, I suppose he is good to look at.”
Fortunately she seems pleased with this. “Good. Where’s he taking you?”
Shrug. “No idea.”
“You be careful. Keep your phone tucked in your bra!”
“Yes mother.” I sigh good-naturedly and step away. “Want to help me get ready?”
Her lips stretch into a wide smile. “Definitely. I never got a chance when you were with Caleb. He loved you the way you were.”
Giggles overcome me. “Why do you look so upset about that? That’s what all parents should want for their kids!” She joins in my laughter and gives me a small shrug.
“I wanted to do your hair and makeup and get excited over your dates. Instead I got a ‘hi mum, bye mum’ and then an ‘I’m moving out mum’.”
“I’m sorry. Things with Caleb, they were very…” What’s the
word? “Intense. Fast paced.”
“Perfect.” She adds and pats my hand. “He was pretty darn perfect. Until he got you pregnant that is, but even now, when I look at my grandson, I can’t fault him for that oopsie. Come on. Let’s go and get you ready.”
Nathan texts as my mum is curling the ends of my hair, in a way that looks very natural and very pretty.
Nathan: Jeanine wants to have Dillan for an hour or so today. Are you okay with that?
Am I? Jeanine, I miss her.
Gwen: No problem :-) Have you got any plans?
Nathan: Yes.
Gwen: Care to elaborate?
“Stop moving.” Mum chastises as she applies mascara to my long lashes.
“Sorry.”
Nathan: I’m going to visit a friend. That’s if we can still be classed as friends.
Gwen: You have friends?!?!
Nathan: Ouch. That one hurt. I almost forgot how much of a bitch you can be.
Gwen: I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. You have a new friend now.
Nathan: Nope. She’s a bitch too. Though you’re so much better at it.
Gwen: She? Lorna by any chance?
“Done.” My mum beams and turns my face towards the mirror. “Beautiful.”
I admire my natural looking waves and the slight shade of grey above my eyes, shadowed by super black lashes. “Thank you.”
“Now for the clothes.”
Oh god, I hate picking out outfits, especially when I don’t know where I’m going. Fortunately my mum takes control. I just lie on my bed and wait for her to throw something at me.
Nathan: No, she was done with me a while ago. Besides, we were never friends.
Gwen: I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you have fun. I have to go. It was nice conversing with you again. I’ve missed it :-) xox
