The Fleethaven Trilogy

by Margaret Dickinson

  Kate shook her head. ‘I can’t, Mam, I just can’t.’ Then she eyed her mother with amusement – the first flash of genuine humour she had felt recently. ‘Don’t tell me you’re going, Mam? Not to an Eland wedding?

  Esther wriggled her shoulders. ‘Ya Dad ses I’ve got to go,’ she smiled self-consciously. ‘We alius seem to come together – me an’ Beth – for funerals and the like. I ’spose a wedding’s as good a reason as any.’

  ‘Well, it’s an improvement on funerals!’ Kate remarked drily, and her mother had the grace to smile.

  ‘Ya ought to come, Kate. He is ya brother.’

  ‘By heck, you’ve changed your tune!’ Then her tone softened sadly. ‘Oh, Mam, if only you’d told us that years ago.’

  ‘I know, lass, I know. Mebbe we should have done.’ She sighed. ‘But it weren’t all my secret, y’know.’

  There was silence between them, only the ticking of the clock and the crackling of the wood on the fire in the range.

  ‘I can’t come to the wedding, Mam. Really I can’t.’

  On the day she knew Danny and Rosie were getting married, Kate was safely back at camp, although her mind was anywhere but on her job.

  ‘What is the matter with you today, Kate?’ Philip asked her as she took a corner too sharply and the offside wheels bounced on to the grass verge. Even that reminded her sharply of Danny, she thought wryly, and the time they had landed up in a ditch in the Squire’s car. Aloud she said, ‘Sorry, sir.’

  ‘Is there something the matter?’

  ‘No – no, sir.’

  ‘I’ve told you not to call me “sir” when we’re on our own.’

  ‘No – Philip.’

  They fell silent and didn’t speak again until she drew up a little way from the camp to allow him to get into the back as had become their habit.

  ‘I shan’t need you again today. Get yourself down to the pub in the village with some of your mates and relax a little.’

  She forced a weak smile and met his gaze in the rear-view mirror. ‘Is that an order – sir?’

  She watched the serious expression on his face lighten as he smiled. ‘Yes, Corporal Hilton. It’s an order.’

  ‘Yes, sir!’

  Twenty-Nine

  ‘Shut up, Kate, do,’ Mavis hissed.

  As if from a great distance, Kate heard them arguing over her head as she felt herself being dragged along between them, her stumbling feet seeming to have a will of their own.

  ‘Silly cow’ll get us on a fizzer,’ Isobel muttered, forgetting her lady-like manner for once. ‘Whatever did you let her drink so much for?’

  ‘Don’t blame me, you were there too. Or were you too busy chatting up Ron?’ Mavis countered.

  ‘We should have known – we should have watched her.’

  ‘He doesn’t love me,’ Kate wailed. ‘He’s gone and married . . .’

  ‘Has he got married then?’ Isobel hissed at Mavis above Kate’s lolling head.

  ‘Yes – today. He rang up again last night to try to get her to go to the wedding. I ask you! Must be a heartless bastard!’

  ‘No – no,’ Kate’s head came up. ‘You’ve got it wrong, Mave. He does love me, really. He can’t marry me, so he’s got to marry Rosie. But I didn’t want him to get married. ‘Specially not – not Rosie!’

  ‘What is she on about?’ Isobel asked.

  ‘Search me,’ Mavis said. ‘Got this Rosie up the stick by the sound of it.’

  ‘No – no! I – will explain it all,’ Kate enunciated carefully. ‘Because you’re my – my friends now. But you weren’t always my friend, were you, Isobel? You – were – very unkind to me at sh-chool, Is-o-bel.’ Kate wagged her forefinger in the air at no one in particular seeing as both her arms were being held tightly by the girls on either side of her. ‘You used to – call – me Sicky . . . ‘

  As if the memory again prompted the action, she felt the bile rise in her throat. ‘I’m gonner be sick!’ was all she could mumble before the quantities of beer she had consumed came spewing up into the road.

  ‘Seems I wasn’t far wrong either,’ Isobel said brutally, but she put her hand on Kate’s forehead and held back her long hair while she heaved and retched on to the grass verge.

  ‘Where’s her cap?’ Isobel asked.

  ‘In my pocket,’ Mavis said grimly. ‘Oh, heavens! There’s something coming!’

  Mavis and Isobel looked back over their shoulders as the noise of a vehicle and the pin-pricks of light from its shrouded headlights came towards them.

  ‘Quick, there’s a ditch here. Come on, they might not see us.’

  ‘Ugh! There’s water in the bottom,’ exclaimed the fastidious Isobel.

  ‘Better than being in the guard-room,’ Mavis said tartly, shuddering as the cold water covered her ankles.

  Kate groaned and slipped from their grasp, splashing on to her knees in the bottom of the ditch.

  At that moment the moon, which had been hidden by the clouds, chose to appear, lighting up the countryside with its silver glow.

  ‘Oh hell!’ Mavis muttered. ‘Now we’re for it . . . ‘

  The vehicle slowed as it drew level with the three girls cowering in the ditch and then stopped. As the engine was cut, silence bathed the countryside. Mavis and Isobel held their breath, but Kate, oblivious to what was happening, began to sing.

  ‘There was I waiting at the church, waiting at the church . . .’

  Footsteps sounded on the road and then whispered across the grass verge.

  ‘Can’t get away to marry you today,’ Kate yodelled tunelessly, ‘my wife won’t – let me!’ The final words ended on a high-pitched wail. She threw back her head and looked up into the shadowy face of a tall man standing on the bank directly above them.

  ‘What on earth is going on?’

  Kate giggled. ‘Why, if it isn’t the handsome Groupie!’

  Beside her, Isobel groaned, but Mavis was scrambling up out of the ditch. ‘Sir – could you just forget you’ve seen us, please?’ She was standing on the bank beside him now. ‘Kate’s had an awful shock – some sort of family trouble. This isn’t like her – really it isn’t.’

  The silence was all around them again. ‘Please, sir, couldn’t you – just this once . . .?’ Mavis pleaded softly.

  Philip Trent’s deep voice came gently out of the darkness. ‘It’s all right, I won’t be taking any action over this. I just want to help.’ He bent down and stretched out his hand. ‘Come on, Kate Hilton. Let’s get you back to camp. Maybe I can get her past the guard easier than you two could.’

  They couldn’t see his face in the darkness, but they could hear the genuine concern in his voice. With him pulling and Isobel pushing, they heaved Kate out of the ditch and between them half-dragged, half-carried her to the jeep he was driving.

  ‘Put her in the back with my coat over her. It’s on the back seat. One of you sit with her. The other, come in front with me.’

  Hardly able to believe this was actually happening, they obeyed meekly and a few moments later they were heading along the lane back towards camp. Kate was no longer singing – now she was crying. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to . . .’

  Her voice faded away and she was quiet.

  Isobel leaned forward from the back seat. ‘I think she’s asleep.’

  Philip Trent nodded.

  A few yards from the camp gate, he stopped the jeep. ‘Look, I hate to do this to you, but if you two get out here and come into camp as normal, I think I can get her past the guards better than if I’ve got you on board as well.’ His deep chuckle made them both smile. As they slid out of the jeep, Mavis said. ‘Thank you, sir – for everything.’

  ‘Yes, thank you, sir,’ Isobel echoed, ‘you’ve been jolly decent about this.’

  ‘Think nothing of it. But not a word to a soul, mind.’

  ‘No, sir,’ they chorused with heartfelt agreement.

  Kate was not asleep. Through the mists of alcohol, she had
heard everything that was going on, but she couldn’t seem to get her mind to work properly. She was muddled and confused. She had never in her life felt like this before; but then never before had she been drunk.

  Fortunately for them both, she lay quietly while Philip drove through the gates, pausing to prove his identity to the guard. ‘My driver’s in the back. We’ve had a long day . . .’

  The soldier on duty glanced into the back of the jeep, then stepped back and saluted smartly. ‘Sir!’ he barked and the barrier was raised for the vehicle to pass into camp.

  It was as if she was waking up in a fog. Her head throbbed abominably when she tried to raise it. She groaned and dropped back against the pillow and a sharp stab of pain shot up the back of her neck and gripped the top of her head.

  Somewhere above her a deep voice spoke. ‘Oh, surfacing at last, are we?’

  Kate opened her eyes and tried to focus on the face bending over her. She blinked rapidly and recognized the face of her commanding officer.

  ‘Oh bloody ’ell!’ she muttered and closed her eyes again.

  ‘Such language, young lady!’

  ‘Where am I? What are you doing here?’

  ‘You’re in my bed where you’ve been all night – at least, what was left of it.’

  Her eyes flew open. ‘Your – your bed?’

  ‘Don’t look so shocked. I wasn’t in it. Taking advantage of a young woman in that state isn’t in my line. It’s the room behind my office. I like to stay here when there’s an op on, so I got it fitted out with the basic necessities. Good job I did. I could hardly have taken you to the CO’s house, now could I?’

  He sat down carefully on the edge of the bed and leaned over her, resting on his hands placed either side of her. ‘Want to talk about it, Kate?’ he asked gently.

  Kate was just beginning to realize what he had done for her this past night, and at the kindness in his tone easy tears filled her eyes. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ he said softly. ‘No harm done, as it happens. Your two friends got safely back into camp and – er, Mavis, is it . . .?’

  She nodded and he continued. ‘Well, Mavis came early this morning and collected your uniform to get it cleaned up. She’s just brought it back so you can get up when you like, use my bathroom and then, when you’re ready, you can go out through the front office as if you’ve just been to get your orders for the day. And hopefully . . .’ He raised one hand and crossed his fingers, ‘No one will be any the wiser for your little escapade.’

  She closed her eyes and groaned, imagining what a fool she must have made of herself the previous night. And Philip was being so good about it, even conspiring to sneak her back into camp. She wondered just how many other COs would have done that. No wonder he had said he threw away the rule-book when he felt like it.

  ‘I don’t think,’ he said slowly, ‘you’d better drive today.’

  Kate smiled ruefully and put her hand up to her head. ‘No, I don’t think I better had,’ she murmured ungrammatically.

  As he got up and turned away, she said, ‘You’ve been very kind. I – don’t know how to thank you . . .’

  He turned and stood looking down at her. Although his expression was grave, there was a gentle look in his eyes.

  ‘If you remember, Kate Hilton, there have been two occasions when J didn’t know how to thank you. I haven’t forgotten, you know.’ Then, as if to save them both any further embarrassment, he turned and left the room.

  After washing her hair and taking a bath, Kate felt much better, though a little fragile. Dressed in her clean uniform, she waited nervously in Philip’s bedroom.

  The door opened. ‘All clear!’ he said in a stage whisper and she went through into his office. ‘Parkes has nipped out for lunch so the outer office is empty at the moment. Right now,’ he sat down in his chair and steepled his fingers, ‘I have to go to East Markham. If you could just drive us out the gate and then in at the other end, I’ll drive in between.’

  Kate bit her lip and nodded.

  ‘Bring the car round in about an hour. Try to get a bit of lunch . . .’ He began, but noticing her turn paler, added, ‘If you can face it.’

  She smiled thinly and nodded again.

  *

  ‘Oh, so you are still in the land of the living,’ Isobel greeted her as Kate stepped into their hut.

  Mavis was hurrying towards her. ‘Are you all right? Did he put you on a charge?’

  Kate shook her head – and then wished she had not done so for the throbbing increased. She looked at Mavis’s troubled face. ‘He said you two got back okay. Is that right? You – you didn’t get caught?’

  Mavis glanced across at Isobel. ‘No, he was marvellous. Dropped us off a few yards from the gate and we walked in cool as you like. Oh, wasn’t he terrific about it, though?’ Mavis said again, a dreamy expression in her eyes.

  Kate was relieved. ‘That’s all right, then.’

  ‘I must say he was jolly decent,’ Isobel agreed magnanimously. ‘Is he sweet on you or something, Kate?’ she added bluntly.

  Before Kate could refute such a suggestion, Mavis burst out, ‘I jolly well hope not. He’s married!’ Kate and Isobel stared at her.

  ‘Is he now?’ Isobel said softly, but Kate said nothing.

  She was surprised at the shaft of disappointment that shot through her. ‘How – how do you know?’

  ‘Dave says . . .’

  ‘Ah well, there we have it, then,’ Isobel mocked. ‘If the fountain of all knowledge says he’s married, then married he must be.’

  ‘Shut up, Iso. Dave told me,’ Mavis continued patiently. ‘He’s mates with the Adjutant in the CO’s office – Parkes. His wife often rings up. Says she’s got an aw’fly posh voice. Quite la-di-da.’

  Isobel smoothed her blonde hair. ‘I’m absolutely devastated,’ she said, looking anything but. ‘I’d begun to think our lovely CO would be quite a catch. But married – oh dear me no. There’s no future in that. Only a lot of heartache.’

  Kate glanced at her. How coldly calculating Isobel Cartwright was. There were times when Kate thought the girl had not really changed that much since their school days.

  ‘Excuse me, I’ve got to go out again. The CO wants driving to East Markham.’ She saw the other two exchange a worried glance.

  ‘Will you be all right?’ Isobel asked, and there was no mistaking the genuine concern in her tone now. ‘I mean – he’s there, isn’t he?’

  Instantly Kate regretted her uncharitable thoughts about Isobel.

  She managed to give them a wan smile. ‘I’ll be fine. Danny – Danny won’t be there. Don’t you remember? He’s on honeymoon!’

  Safely out of sight of the guard-room, Kate stopped the car and slid from the driver’s seat. Philip took her place. ‘Don’t stand there dithering, get in the front.’

  He drove fast but expertly and after a mile or so, she began to relax and some of the guilt for her foolish behaviour began to ebb away. About midway between the two camps, he pulled over on to a wide grass verge on the top of a hill and cut the engine. They sat looking at the scene before them.

  She felt his gaze upon her and turned to meet his eyes. They were full of compassion and tenderness. ‘Last night wasn’t like you, Kate. Not a bit. I know that. Something awful must have happened.’

  She looked down at her hands, twisting together in her lap. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks, splashing on to her hands.

  ‘Tell me,’ he urged her gently.

  So she told him. Everything. From the very beginning, as far back as she could remember and even before that; about her mother, and Danny’s mother; about her father, who was also Danny’s father. And about Danny – oh, she told him all about Danny. She cried as she told him, but there was laughter too as she remembered everything. It was like reliving her life again. All the happiness – and then all the sadness.

  When she had finished, she found she was lying with her cheek against the
rough fabric of his jacket and became aware that his hand was stroking her hair. ‘You poor kids,’ he murmured.

  She became aware of his nearness and sat up, suddenly embarrassed. ‘I’m sorry.’ She tried to smile, but her mouth quivered. ‘I seem to be saying that a lot today.’

  His smile was sympathetic. ‘Has it helped?’

  She nodded, and said, surprise in her tone. ‘Yes, yes, I think it has.’

  ‘They say it’s good to talk your troubles out. I sometimes wish . . .’ He leaned forward and pressed the starter. The engine leapt into life and whatever he had been going to say was drowned in the noise.

  ‘My dear Kate,’ her stepfather wrote.

  I was grieved you could not find it in your heart to attend Danny and Rosie’s marriage. On what should have been a happy day for her, the dear girl was heartbroken that you were not there. I know how you feel – and even though these words may deny it – I do understand. But years have passed since you learned the truth and you should by now have come to terms with it. Try to understand, my dear, that life must go forward. You and Danny cannot remain in the safe cocoon of childhood, all in all to each other to the exclusion of all other relationships. It is unhealthy and damaging to you both. A man needs a wife, and you, my dear, should have a husband and children. Danny has done the right thing in breaking free of those bonds. It does not mean he loves you any the less – only, perhaps, differently.

  Tears blurred the rest of the words before her eyes. But this time they were not tears of bitterness over Danny. Kate was surprised to find how much her gentle stepfather’s rebuke hurt her, made her feel small and petty-minded. She sniffed and, like a small child, scrubbed the tears away with the back of her hand.

  ‘They are away on a short honeymoon – please try to come home to see your grandfather. He is not too well . . .’ The letter continued with news about her mother and Lilian and the farm, but no further mention was made of Danny or Rosie.

  Slowly Kate got up from her bed, biting her lip. She knew she had hurt Rosie, but until this moment she had not stopped to think how her absence from their wedding had hurt so many people. Beth Eland and Enid Maine, Rosie’s mother, too. But more than anything she could not bear to think that her stepfather was disappointed in her.