by Howe, Olivia
“Did you want to head back inside and grab your coat?” I asked.
“No, I’m fine. It’s too cold to not wear it, but too hot to wear it. Don’t you hate that?”
“Uhh, I guess.” I wasn’t sure what she was really talking about, and suddenly I felt weird for walking alone with her. What did I really know about her? Who would have ever thought I would be here this holiday season with her.
Chapter Six
HOLLY
Spending time with Amy and Allison was great. After we joked and laughed over coffee, and talked about Allison and the baby- the attention was turned on me.
“So, what do you do for work, Holly?” Allison asked me.
“Well, I’m in between jobs at the moment. I’m trying to get a handbag business going. I make great bags, and have an Etsy shop. Holly’s Handbags, but it isn’t going so well. Thirty years old, and nothing to show for it.”
I felt like shit, I hated my current situation. Hated I had no money or career in my life. All of my friends from high school were busy getting married and having babies, and I was nothing. But, I refused to give up. I wanted success so badly.
“Do you have any bags to show us?” Amy asked.
I pulled out my phone and swiped through my photos of my creations. Showing both Amy and Allison, they both gasped.
“Wow, these are fantastic,” Amy said.
“Oh my, they’re gorgeous. I want one. Look at the one with the diamonds on it, are they real?” Allison asked.
“Hardly, but they look it don’t they?” I smiled, hoping they were both being genuine.
“You know what Holly, I run a fashion blog. It gets quite a few hits daily. I would love to feature your shop.” Amy smiled as she glanced at a few more photos on my phone.
“Really? Oh my god, that would be amazing.” I was so happy, and hoped this would be what I needed to set my shop apart from the rest.
“Of course, these bags are really unique. I definitely want one.”
“Consider it done, just for you to feature me, I’d give you one. Thank you.” I couldn’t believe how my luck was changing and I only had Gavin to thank for it.
As if on cue, both men walked in and Gavin placed his hand on my shoulder. The warmth from his touch made me feel as though I really belonged there. Even though this was pretend, for one moment I wanted it to be real.
As we walked around outside alone together, I remembered seeing the willow tree and wanted to get a closer look.
“This land is really beautiful. You must have loved growing up here.” I said, running my fingers along the bark covered trunk. The wind swept through the branches and rustled through my hair.
“Yeah, it was great. My mother, Luke, and I would have picnics in the summer under this tree.”
Gavin’s eyes focused on the tree as he stood there.
“I’m sorry she’s gone.” I didn’t know what else to say, and felt sorry for him as he tried to smile. It was strained and never reached his eyes. As I stood staring at him, I realized how good-looking he was. Yet, how shitty was his life he had to bring me along as his fake girlfriend.
“Why did you bring me here?” I asked.
He took a deep breath before he spoke. “I met Allison first, I got her a job here with my mother and Luke. She and I were dating, or so I thought but she fell for my brother instead. Which don’t get me wrong, I’m happy they’re together and I no longer have any feelings for her, but I don’t know. I was with a girl named Vivian for a while, and we broke up a few months ago and I guess I didn’t want to look like a failure in love in the eyes of Luke and Allison.”
“Wow. Was Vivian the tall redhead I would see you with?”
“Yeah,” he answered.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but she was a bitch.”
Gavin burst out laughing as I stood there blushing. I couldn’t believe I had just said that.
“Why do you say that? Not that I don’t disagree.”
We began walking towards the big, red coops as I tried to think of a way to tell him about our encounter.
“Umm, when you two were dating, she confronted me. It was one night, and I stepped outside my apartment to see if the delivery man was on his way, I was starving. Anyway, she saw me in the hallway and told me how she saw the way her man would stare at me, and how I would stare at you. She told me to knock it off, but a little ruder than that.”
He stopped walking, turned to me and whispered, “I’m so sorry, I never knew.”
“It’s okay. It wasn’t a big deal.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Is that why you hate me?” His big eyes bore through mine as my cheeks reddened.
“I don’t hate you.”
He leaned closer as he chuckled. “Come on, you and I have hated each other for years. But, I can’t for the life of me remember why.”
I stood for a moment, remembering one of my first encounters with Gavin. “I guess one of the main reasons I never cared for you is one day after I had lost another job. I came home, I had so many grocery bags in my hands, and was just feeling depressed. I went to open the door, and you almost knocked me out of the way, and didn’t even notice me. The door ended up slamming into me, and I broke my eggs all over the place.” I remembered what a mess it had been to clean the eggs out of the bag.
“I’m sorry, I don’t remember that. I would never do it on purpose. Do you remember when it was?”
“About two summers ago,” I said.
Gavin reached his arms out to me, and with a sad expression rubbed his hands up and down my arms, sending goosebumps along them.
“I’m so sorry, I think that was when my mother died. I was out of my mind,” he said, apologetically.
I felt like shit, realizing sometimes someone can be having a shittier day than you. That day so long ago, I thought my life was going roughly, yet here was Gavin having a major life moment. “No, I’m sorry I didn’t realize.”
“It’s okay. How would you.” He stopped the rubbing and I missed it.
“Okay, that’s me. So, why do you hate me?” I asked him.
He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled that snarky smile he loves. “How much time do we have? I could write a book about why I hate you so much.” He laughed as I pushed him.
“Asshole,” I said, chuckling.
“No, seriously. I’m not really sure. I know one thing stands out. I always thought you were pretty, I mean let’s face it you’re very pretty, I mean. Well, look at you.” He stuttered through his speech and I crossed my arms against my chest as I listened to him.
“Go on,” I encouraged.
“Well, anyway, one day your boyfriend was kissing you. And, I don’t know. Just the way he was doing it, he even pushed me out of the way. He wouldn’t let me get to my mailbox, and I felt like I was back in high school being pushed away while people made out in front of my locker.”
“You hate me because my boyfriend was an asshole to you?” I asked.
“Well, I’m not sure. You always had an attitude toward me.”
“Because you were a jerk.” My voice rose as Gavin stepped back.
“Let’s start over, friends?” he asked.
“Sure.”
He stuck his hand out for me to shake as we let the past drift into where it belonged, the past. I stuck my tiny hand in his, and his big hand wrapped around my fingers. My lips curved into a smile and then he dropped it as fast as he had grabbed it.
“Want to see everything?”
“Of course,” I said, laughing as I followed him through the yard and into the barn.
We climbed the steps and entered the room at the top.
“You’re going to love this,” he said as we stepped into the room.
The room was painted with flowers all along the walls, and a flowered couch sat in the center of the room, underneath a huge wooden-framed window. The room had big splashes of paint around the pink flowers on the
wall, and it looked like a masterpiece.
“It’s beautiful,” I said.
“Yeah, it’s different. It used to be all stars. I wondered why they changed it?” He glanced at me with confusion crossing his features.
“Well either way, I think it’s lovely.”
We sat on the couch for a while, in an easy comfortable silence. It was weird him and I being here together. This definitely wasn’t the way I thought I would be spending my Christmas.
After we sat for a while longer, we headed back to the house.
Everyone was in the living room when we walked in through the front door. We had made a complete circle around the house, and when we stepped through the door, everyone’s faces lit up.
“We have a question for the two of you,” Luke said, laughing.
“Sure,” Gavin answered, rubbing his hands together.
“Well, you told me Holly asked you out, and Holly told the girls you asked her out. Which is it? We think we believe Holly’s story.” They all sat around laughing as Gavin and I turned toward each other. We were both dumbstruck, unable to answer the question.
“Oh wait, look you two are under the mistletoe. You know what that means,” Amy cheered. Her voice was filled with happiness as everyone sat on the couch.
I laughed as I swatted my hands at Gavin. “No, it’s okay. We don’t want to kiss in front of everyone,” I said.
“No, you have to. It’s a mistletoe.” Allison smiled, clapping her hands together.
Who invented the whole mistletoe thing, and why did people have to kiss under it? I never understood the holiday tradition. My heart erupted in my chest as I turned slowly to face Gavin. We couldn’t kiss, with everyone watching nonetheless.
Gavin turned just as slowly and caught my eyes. I shook my head the tiniest amount back and forth, with wide eyes.
Gavin swallowed and stepped closer. “One kiss, I mean, it is the mistletoe after all.”
I glanced nervously to everyone watching as I finally relented. “Okay,” I muttered.
He stepped even closer, reaching out and wrapping his arms around my waist. My breath hitched, and all I could see were his big, brown eyes. My eyes hazed over and traveled to his lips as he licked his.
Oh God, this can’t be happening.
I darted my tongue across my lips as Gavin watched. His hand moved up my side and landed on my cheek as my stomach tightened. A heat traveled up my spine as he moved even closer.
Closing my eyes, I puckered my lips as he moved in slow motion toward my mouth. His hand skated across my cheek, nervously shaking down to my jaw. He guided my lips to his and pressed firmly.
My eyes shot open as our lips first met, and then I closed them tight as his face tilted causing our lips to rub closer together.
My knees trembled as I clutched onto his shirt and held on.
Chapter Seven
GAVIN
Pressing my lips to Holly’s under the mistletoe, I moaned lightly. I wanted to delve my tongue into her mouth and taste her. I squeezed my hand along her jaw as she pulled me closer. Just before I opened my mouth to beg permission inside with my tongue, someone coughed and I remembered we had an audience.
I broke the kiss, and pulled away from Holly. Her eyes shot open, and they were a distinct shade of dark blue. Beautiful and mesmerizing, I realized I had been lost in the kiss and was thankful to whoever coughed.
Everyone sitting on the couch was silent, and I chuckled as I stepped away from Holly.
“Wow, you two are hot,” Amy said, fanning herself.
Holly giggled, and it was the first time I heard her make the sound. I’d heard her laugh but the way she giggled just then made my chest constrict.
I clapped my hands together as I moved to join everyone in the living room. “What are we up to?”
Holly excused herself and headed upstairs to the restroom. I watched as she made her way up the stairs, and saw how her ass filled out her jeans nicely. She really was hot. I brought my fingers to my lips as I remembered the way her lips felt against mine.
***
After playing a few games after dinner, it was time to head to bed. Holly had been skittish around me since our kiss, and I didn’t know what to say to her either. We walked up the stairs together and after we both finished our nightly ritual, she stepped closer to the bed.
Dressed in cute red night pants and a ratty white t-shirt she pulled the covers back. She wore the old slippers with the flower pattern and I chuckled to myself.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“I should have demanded you keep the slippers back at your place.”
“These are very comfortable.” She got into the bed, and I just stood there staring down at her. I didn’t want to sleep on the cold wooden floor, but wouldn’t make any move to share the bed with her, either. So I grabbed a pillow and the top blanket as I moved away.
“You can’t be serious?” She sat up in the bed, staring at me.
“What?” I asked.
“You will never get any sleep down there. Umm, you can sleep in the bed, just no touching. Stay on your side.”
I reached for my pillow and blanket and pulled them off the floor as I made my way to the bed. Her eyes watched my movements as I pulled the covers back. In nothing but my boxers and a t-shirt, I removed the shirt.
Her eyes grew wide as she glanced down my body and stuck out her tongue to coat her plush, pink lips. We both lay on our backs, staring up to the ceiling. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything. The feel of her lips rushed back through my memory, and I let out a smooth breath.
“Holly?”
“Yes.”
I turned to face her, but she didn’t move. I propped myself on one elbow as I gazed down to her. The moonlight pouring in through the window cascaded over her tanned skin. I could still see the depth of her dark eyes which looked incredible from the light of the moon and I tried to push the feeling of kissing her again away.
“Thank you for coming, it means a lot to me,” I breathed.
“Sure.” She turned away from me to lie on her side, and I slammed back down onto my back. I tried to sleep as I listened to her steady breathing beside me.
Finally after tossing and turning for a while, sleep consumed me.
***
The next morning, I awoke with my arm wrapped around Holly. Her body faced away from me, and I was nestled up behind her with my arm draped over her body. I didn’t want to move, but didn’t want her to wake up this way either.
So I jerked my hand away, and lay on my back. After two minutes of trying to calm my body down from lying so close to her, I got out of bed and headed into the bathroom for a shower. While in the shower I berated myself for allowing feelings to creep into my mind. It had to be the holidays. Having no real connection with a woman ever, I figured the holiday season was playing tricks on me.
After I exited the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed back into the room. Holly was no longer in the bed, or room for that matter. I got dressed in jeans and a fitted dark brown sweater, making my way downstairs.
The women were in the kitchen drinking coffee, while Dan sat with them reading the newspaper.
“Good morning,” I said to the ladies as I walked through the threshold of the kitchen. “Where’s Luke?”
“He takes the baby every morning into the coops to pick eggs,” Allison said.
I couldn’t make eye contact with Holly, but could feel her eyes on me. I was afraid to look at her, afraid she would ruin me with the magnetism her eyes held. So, I ignored her and headed out the backdoor and went in search for Luke.
Shit, this girl was getting to me.
After sitting with Luke and Skye for a while, Luke asked if I wanted to head to the store for gifts. I still didn’t know enough about Holly to even think about what she would like as a gift.
“Can we go tomorrow? I still have no clue as to what to give Holly.
Besides, there’s somewhere I really want to visit today. Will you go with me to mom’s grave?”
“Of course,” Luke answered and I lifted my eyes to him and forced a smile.
Once we made our way back to the house, the women had made a mess in the kitchen. Holly was making pancakes while Amy and Allison danced around her to the tune of Jingle Bells playing on the radio.
“Oh god, don’t tell me that Holly has turned the two of you onto her love of Christmas tunes,” I said, laughing.
For the first time since we kissed, Holly smiled to me and laughed. Her eyes narrowed and she stuck the spatula toward me. “Christmas music is all the rave.”
“What at the preschool?”
“Not everyone's as stuffy as you, some people enjoy Christmas music very much.”
“Whatever you say, kid,” I said.
Then the air shifted, the mood soured and all fell quiet in the kitchen of my youth. Luke glanced at Allison and whispered in her ear as he handed Skye off to her. I saw Allison shake her head to him and Luke turned to me. “Ready to go?”
My smile was quickly replaced with a frown and I nodded my head. I stepped closer to Holly and wrapped my arms around her.
“I’ll be back in a little bit, and then we can do whatever you want.” I was close to her ear, and I begged the universe she wouldn’t ask me where we were headed. I knew I would crack if I told her, and didn’t want her pitying stares.
She stared into my eyes with an understanding, as if the universe had told her my request and smiled softly. “Okay.”
Without thinking, I kissed her cheek and as I pulled away from her- her eyes pierced mine. I had to get away from her. I had to talk to my mother.
Luke and I piled into his big truck as he headed off down the road. We were both silent, and I felt we needed to do this together. We hadn’t been together at my mother’s grave site since her funeral. Things hadn’t always been easy with Luke and I, and I wanted more than anything to change that.
As we pulled up to the graveyard, Luke parked the truck and let out a breath. “Ready?”
