by Howe, Olivia
“Yeah.” I stepped out of his truck and we walked over to her gravestone.
Luke sat down and replaced the flowers with ones he had picked from the yard before we left. I sat down in the grass next to him and remembered my mother’s face. Her shining eyes and her love for everyone who came into contact with. A cool breeze passed by us as Luke kissed his hand and touched her headstone.
I closed my eyes as I didn’t want the tears I was fighting to escape. “I miss her so much,” I whispered.
“I just wish she could have met Skye,” Luke breathed his southern accent thick with sadness.
Before I could think about the words, they were out of my mouth. “I wish she could have met Holly.”
Was I really wishing this?
Luke and I sat for a while in silence as I thought of Holly. No one in a long time had made me laugh the way I have since we’d been here. Nor, has my heart beat as fast as when I’m near her.
I shook my head as I knew it was just the sadness and loneliness hitting me hard. I didn’t care for Holly, and as soon as Christmas passed, she’d be nothing but my neighbor again.
“Luke?”
“Yeah.”
“I have to confess something to you.” I wanted to tell him the truth about Holly, I didn’t want to be this person I was anymore. A person who worked all hours of the day, then rushed home to get wasted every night on whiskey. I was depressed, and I needed help.
“Okay, go on.” Luke turned to face me as I took a deep breath.
“I’m very jealous of everything you have. I want it.” I couldn’t believe my own ears. What was I saying? I didn’t want kids, or a wife. But, seeing how happy Luke was, I wanted to be happy like him.
“Gavin, you’ll get there. Holly’s great, and seeing the way you stared at her this morning, I can tell you she’s different. You and Vivian never had that. I saw the way you kissed Holly, there’s a real passion there.”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
We turned to my mother’s tombstone and both said our goodbyes, and prepared to head back home.
Chapter Eight
HOLLY
Both Gavin and Luke had been gone for over an hour. After they left Allison informed us they went to visit their mother’s grave and my heart saddened for Gavin.
Even though my mother and I weren’t close anymore, I couldn’t imagine losing her. She had once been everything to me, and a moment of sadness of our lost relationship took over my heart.
When Gavin entered the front door his eyes searched the room finally landing on mine. “Get dressed, we’re going out.”
I hopped out of my seat on the couch, and smiled to him. Since we kissed last night, I had a million conflicting thoughts crossing through my mind. And, when I woke up this morning with his arm resting over my body, I was feeling something. Something I couldn’t let myself feel. I knew this was only for pretend, and when Christmas was over Gavin would drop me off and that would be the end of it. So, I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything for him.
I loved his family, and was happy to meet Allison and Amy and could picture myself spending every Christmas here. Yet, this wasn’t in the cards for me. I was only here as a job, I was being paid to be his fake girlfriend and I needed to remember that. So, when he stared at me with his deep eyes I needed to focus on the reason I was here.
Once inside the room, I grabbed a pair of jeans and slid on my boots. I pulled off the ratty t-shirt and kissed it before pulling a sweater over my body. The ratty t-shirt was the only piece of clothing I had left of my fathers and I slept in it every night.
Walking down the stairs, Gavin waited for me by the front door. Once we were outside, I glanced to him. “Where are we going?”
“I just wanted to drive you around town, maybe do some last minute shopping. And then, I told you we could do whatever you wanted to do.”
I smiled as I tried to think of something to do. I’d never been to this part of Alabama, and didn’t know the sites very well.
We drove through the town and I spotted a small boutique named Adeline’s Apparel. I smiled to Gavin and asked if we could visit the shop.
He pulled into the parking lot, and I was out of the car as quickly as I could. Stepping into the store, I felt a sense of home here. The shop lady with gray hair and glasses welcomed us inside. I moved over to talk to her while Gavin browsed the shop.
“Do you sell things made by local people?” I asked her.
I glanced around her shop and felt my purses would do well in her store. Her style was unique and she had no purses. Clothes which matched my handbags style hung from the racks and a huge jewelry case made with unique pieces sat between her and I.
“Hi, yes I do. Do you make jewelry?” she asked as I stared at the jewelry.
“My name is Holly, and I make handbags and purses.”
Gavin walked up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. His hot breath fell along my neck bringing goosebumps traveling along my spine.
“I never knew you made handbags,” he whispered in my ear.
“I would love to take a look at some of your pieces,” the woman said.
“What's your contact information and I can email you samples of my work,” I said, pulling out my phone. “I have a few pieces here.”
She took my phone from my hands after I opened my gallery on my phone. Gavin leaned across me to take a peek as well.
“My name is Adeline. It’s very nice to meet you Holly. I love your work.” She smiled and I released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
“These are really good, Holly,” Gavin chimed in.
“Thanks.” I blushed.
After getting Adeline’s contact information and promising her I would send her my portfolio, we left the store.
Gavin opened my door and I turned to stare at him. “Thank you,” I said.
“For what?” He leaned his body into mine and my breath caught in my throat.
“For bringing me here. I feel like more people have taken a liking to my handbags here than ever before.”
“They’re amazing. I never knew.” His hand reached up to caress my cheek and I leaned into his touch. Warning bells went off inside my head, and I tried to remind myself to stop. No one was around for the need to pretend, yet he was touching me anyway.
“Gavin?”
“Yeah,” he whispered, leaning closer to me.
I turned my head and he stepped back. I sat down in his car and he shut my door. I wanted to feel his lips again, but knew it wasn’t a smart idea. With things turning up for me, I couldn’t ruin it with feelings for someone who would never return my feelings.
After spending more time shopping in town we headed back home. As we walked through the front door both being sure to avoid the annoying mistletoe we saw everyone in the kitchen.
“Get dressed you two, we are going out,” Luke said.
“What about Skye?” I asked.
“Dan said he would stay home and watch her, he has to work on a few case briefs for a huge case he has after Christmas,” Amy said.
I ran up the stairs to change into an outfit to go out in. I was excited and nervous, as I rummaged through the closet pulling out a few shirts.
There was a knock at the door, and I answered it to see Gavin standing there.
“Hey, can I come in. I want to change too,” he asked.
I stepped aside so he could enter the room, and went back to finding the perfect outfit. I didn’t pack much when we came, and settled on a pair of jeans with a baggy sweater which hung off one shoulder. I stepped inside the closet and shut the door to change as Gavin watched me.
“I’ll turn around, the closet is kind of small,” Gavin said.
As I stood in the closet, trying to make room to get my clothes off I finally pushed the door open. “Fine, but make sure you stay turned around.”
“Believe me, you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.”
He was busily laughing and when I didn’t answer he turned around slightly when I had just taken off my shirt.
I screeched, pulling the shirt I had just taken off to cover my bra. “What are you doing?”
“Sorry, I didn’t think you had started yet.” He stood there just gawking at me, with huge eyes. They were fixated on my midsection, and I clung to my t-shirt tighter.
“Pervert, turn around.”
“Sorry,” he said, turning around.
He took off his shirt and I saw the muscles run along his back. I swallowed and tried to remember what I was doing.
I grabbed the baggy sweater and pulled it over my head as Gavin pulled on a button down shirt. I moved over to the bathroom to do my makeup and hair. I let my blonde curls slide to my right side, and pinned it up on the left. The sweater hung off my left shoulder making my neck visible.
When I stepped out of the bathroom, my eyes met Gavin’s and he let out a low hiss.
“You look amazing,” he said.
“Thank you.” I blushed before walking out of the room to head downstairs.
When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Allison and Luke stood hand in hand and smiled to us.
“Ready? We can take one car,” Luke said.
“So, I guess I’m driving then? We can’t all fit in the truck,” Gavin added.
Gavin walked over to his silver car parked in the driveway as Luke ran to catch up to him. They both were similar in appearance, you could tell they were brothers. Yet, Gavin was more mature, manly and he had me swooning. Which I needed to keep under control.
“Hey, let me drive there,” Luke asked.
Gavin turned to him and stared with big eyes. Allison strolled up beside me and whispered in my ear.
“There’s no way Gavin will let him,” she said.
I stopped to watch the exchange and saw Gavin smile and drop the keys in Luke’s outstretched hand. Allison gasped beside me, and I smiled as she squeezed my arms and ran to the front side of the car. I didn’t understand the importance of Gavin letting Luke drive, but I was happy he’d made his family so happy.
Gavin and I piled into the back seat and our legs were barely touching together. I tried to scoot over more but there just wasn’t any room. I faced Gavin and his eyes were heated with a longing I didn’t understand.
Luke started the car and we were off into the night.
The radio played a soft country love song, and everyone was quiet listening to the tune play out. After a while, we arrived to a dance club. It wasn’t a young hip hop club, but a small country bar with loads of men in cowboy hats.
I stepped out of the car, and Gavin, noticing the men near the entrance, wrapped his arm around me. When we entered the place was packed. The fast tempo to the country song was energizing me from deep within. It had been so long since I’d been out with friends. My last boyfriend, Ricky, never allowed me much girl time. Gavin dropped his hand from around my shoulders, and whispered something into Luke’s ear. Luke’s eyes almost bulged, and a huge smile made his dimple shine.
Gavin stepped closer to me as Luke grabbed Allison’s hand and led her to the dance floor.
“What did you say to him?” I asked Gavin as I nodded my head toward his brother.
“I told him I wanted him and Allison to have a good time, and that they should have fun, and I would drive them home if they drink too much. And I told them I’d watch Skye in the morning if they're hung over.”
The lights from the club bounced off Gavin’s hair, and catching in his eyes making him dreamier than I thought possible. I was floored by what he said, and smiled to him. “That was nice.”
“Luke and I have had a lot of issues over the past few years, I want to make it up to him.” Gavin was leaning close to my ear to be heard over the loud speakers. His hot breath tickled my ear, and I turned to see his eyes were showing off his remorseful past.
“I think he loves you,” I said.
“I know, but I want him to know that I love him too.”
Tiny chills skated across my skin and I reached up to run my fingers along my arms.
“Do you want a drink?” Gavin asked.
“Uh, sure. I’ll take a glass of red wine. Pinot Noir, please.”
He stepped away, leaving me standing alone close to the dance floor. I watched the couples sway to the music, and after the song ended a slow song began to play through the club.
I closed my eyes as I moved to the beat. A man in a baseball cap with tight jeans tapped my shoulder.
“Care to dance, pretty lady?” he asked. His blue eyes were hazy and I could tell he’d been drinking.
Before I could answer, Gavin was by my side. “She’s taken,” he yelled over the song playing to the other man.
The other man stalked off as he glanced around for someone new to ask. Gavin handed me my glass of wine. I took a sip, noticing Gavin didn’t get anything for himself. “Aren’t you drinking?”
His smile was wide, and he cocked his brow to me. “I’ve got baby duty in the morning.”
I giggled as he grazed against my bare shoulder with his. I lifted the glass to my lips and swallowed the contents. An empty table was nearby and I set my glass down as Gavin turned to me. “Want to dance?”
I took in a deep breath and smiled. “Sure.”
We headed to the dance floor just as Let’s Make Love by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill started to play. This had always been one of my favorite songs, and as Gavin reached his right arm around my waist- I smiled.
His left hand cupped my right hand as he led me in circles. We slowed our pace after a while, and eventually we were just rocking back and forth into each other. I closed my eyes as I breathed in his scent.
His arm around my waist drifted south just a tad as he pulled me in closer. Our hands were joined, and he twisted my fingers to bring them into our chests. I was in heaven, and was also afraid. I didn’t like the feelings that were trying to push their way up and out of me.
Chapter Nine
GAVIN
Dancing with Holly was a dream. Her sweet body fit perfectly with mine as we floated across the dance floor.
She was wearing this baggy, sweater that hung off her shoulder. With her hair pulled to the opposite side, it drew all of the attention to her perfectly sculpted neck. As we moved slower, I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and wondered if she could hear it. She smelled so sweet, like lavender and lace.
I closed my eyes as I thought back to earlier when she had taken off her shirt. The moment I turned around and saw her purple laced bra, I couldn’t turn away. It wasn’t like I was a teenager and had never seen a naked woman before, but something about her body made my jaw drop.
Now, holding her in my arms, I wanted to hold her all night long. Just like the song suggested, I wanted to make love to her. I shook my head for a moment as I tried my best to fight the feeling.
Sure, I could take her to bed and then wake up and pretend nothing had ever happened. I’d done it many times in the past with different women, but something was different about Holly. She intrigued me, she made me want to be a better person. Not someone who would take others for granted as I’d done so many times in the past, no I wanted to be the amazing guy who could maybe one day deserve someone like Holly.
I didn’t deserve her, I didn’t. She leaned back just a bit, and opened her breathtaking eyes to me. Her eyes were the color of a deep ocean. Big, and dark she stared at me. Making me feel vulnerable, feel unworthy.
I closed my eyes to hide from hers. She moved her head just a little, and as I opened my eyes all I could see was her neck. It called to me, like a beacon to a ship in a weathering storm.
I couldn’t turn away, I leaned my nose in and took a deep whiff of her skin. Her sweet scent intoxicated me, and I couldn’t be sure if we were still moving. Were we still dancing?
She tilted her head just a bit more, and I seized the moment. Running my lips along her soft sk
in, I ended at her ear, and nibbled.
She let out a tiny whimper, and I couldn’t help myself. My body yearned for her. I opened my mouth and sucked along her neck. Our bodies bumped into each other and I tightened my hold on her waist. Her skin tasted like sugar as I kissed her neck.
Her hand dropped mine and ran through my hair on the back of my neck. With my other hand now free, I raced it up the side of her and caressed her cheek.
Something about having my hand along her cheek sent thrills all over my body, I had a thing for touching her face.
The end of the song faded and another started right after. We never broke our movements, and I kissed along her neck, then leaned my head back. I needed her lips.
Her eyes opened briefly as I gazed into them. They were desire-ridden, and I leaned in to claim her lips. I wrapped both arms around her waist as I pulled her closer. I needed this.
Our lips moved together and I opened my mouth to reach my tongue into her mouth. She moaned a little as her lips parted.
Fuck.
She tasted sweeter than I could have ever imagined. I couldn’t stop as my heartbeat slammed against my chest. I kissed her hard, and passionate. With every swipe of my tongue the kiss grew fierce. I was hungry for her, I wanted this. With fistfuls of her baggy sweater, I pressed my erection into her stomach. An emotion I was unaware of ever having took over as I pressed harder into her.
Her nails dug into the base of my neck as I dug my tongue deeper into her mouth. What was happening to me? I’d never been so enthralled by a woman to feel the need to consume her. Yet, that’s exactly what I was doing, I was consuming her with everything I had.
I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs, I wanted everyone to know how I felt. This euphoric high I was experiencing was overwhelming me, and yet I was only kissing her.
In this instant, I knew I wanted her. I wanted to feel everything about her. I wanted to be deep inside her. My body ached, my muscles tightened uncontrollably, as I felt her tongue skate across mine. Was she feeling this too? Was she feeling everything I felt? I wished for it, I begged for it. Please let her want me as bad as I wanted her. Please let her need me as bad as I needed her.
