Torn: A Dark BDSM Romance Novel (Shattered Lives Book 1)

by Lexie Syrah

  I felt a bit of shame creep over me at his remark about how badly I’d stunk, but I nodded in acceptance. He could degrade my past appearance all he wanted. That wasn’t me anymore. I’d already scrubbed the past from me, and I’d been reborn as a professional woman who would be taking care of Mr. Sheffield’s domestic duties.

  “If you accept those terms, then you can start dinner while I do some work in my room. It’s 4 o’clock right now, and I expect dinner to be on the table by 6. If you have questions about anything, please let me know.”

  I said, “Yes, sir,” and stood up. Mr. Sheffield left the room, and the silence was almost oppressing. The city had always had noises. Even at three in the morning, you could hear rats scrabbling in trash cans and cats in heat. Cars would speed by, and construction workers filled the midnight shifts with banter and work. Now, it was silent, and I was alone with a single task: cook dinner. It was too bad that I’d never done that before.

  I went to the open-layout kitchen and began exploring. Everything was well organized, and the entire kitchen was extremely intuitive. When I looked into the refrigerator, I saw pork chops and thought back to my short stint in the sorority house. I’d seen people cook pork chops, but I’d never made them myself.

  I would have to try my best because I certainly wasn’t going to ask Mr. Sheffield for instructions on simple cooking. So I turned the stove to medium and plopped four thick pork chops into the pan. Then I found some angel hair pasta and alfredo sauce. I knew that I could cook basic pasta, so that would be one side. Then I saw some frozen broccoli. None of it had any theme other than filling the typical requirement of meat and two sides.

  I put the broccoli in a pot along with the recommended amount of water. Then I waited, and my mind began to stray. This entire situation seemed comical to me. I’d cooked a handful of times, and now I was going to be paid to be a cook. I would have to do a lot of research tomorrow when Mr. Sheffield went to work. My mind drifted to what I would cook this week since I had almost unlimited options. Burgers. Lasagna. Steak. All of these things had been daydreams for me this morning, and now I would be choosing and preparing them. The winds of change were a tornado in my case. Time passed as I daydreamed and stared into space like I normally did while I panhandled.

  Then I looked down to see the pork chops smoking, and I reached down to flip them over, but they were stuck. I got the metal spatula and tried to scrape them off the pan, and only succeeded in shredding the bottoms and leaving huge burn marks on the pan. There was no salvaging them, and I turned the stove off. I looked into the refrigerator, and there wasn’t any other meat to cook. I’d messed up the first job that Mr. Sheffield had given me. I couldn’t believe that I’d let daydreams take priority over making our dinner. I’d sworn to myself that I wouldn’t ruin this chance, and already, I’d returned to that fucked up college girl who didn’t pay attention.

  The smoke alarm started beeping as the kitchen filled with smoke. The stuck pieces of pork chop had continued to burn in the hot pan. Mr. Sheffield appeared in the kitchen and reached up to pull the battery out of the smoke alarm. He didn’t say anything as he opened the windows and pushed me out of the way so that he could clean up the mess that I’d made.

  I just stared in panic as the stern-faced older man took charge and fixed my mistakes. He’d seemed so friendly only an hour ago, but now his jaw was clenched tightly as he scraped the burned meat into the trash can and washed the pan. It only took him a few minutes to remedy my mistake, but his eyes hardened, and he said, “Maggie, come sit down. We need to talk.”

  I looked down at the floor and tried to be the invisible girl living on the streets, but his eyes burned into me, and his anger seemed to grow at my attempt to hide from his wrath. I nodded, and he walked back to the couch so that we could escape the haze of smoke that filled the kitchen. He sat down on the loveseat and patted the seat next to him, indicating that he wanted me sit there.

  When I sat down and smoothed out the dress, he said, “Maggie, do you know how to cook?” His voice was calm, but there was a fierceness behind it. He was holding back most of his emotions, and I was thankful for that small kindness.

  “A little?” I answered hesitantly. “I’ve cooked some things like pasta and vegetables, but I’ve never cooked anything complicated or any kind of meat. I’m sorry that I took the job without telling you that.”

  “I’m glad that you aren’t lying to me. If you were lying, I would have returned your clothes to you and kicked you out. I can promise that lying to me is the absolute worst thing you can do when you deal with me.” He stopped for a moment as something crossed his mind. “Instead, I’ll help you work through it. I need someone who can cook and clean. Do you at least know how to clean?”

  “I think so. It may not be to your standards, though. If you tell me when I do things wrong, I’ll fix them. I promise! I’ll do anything it takes to keep this job. You’re saving my life, and I know it! Please don’t make me go back to the streets!” I didn’t try to put on the sad puppy dog face that all young women hold in their back pocket. This man did not want vulnerable. He wanted someone who was direct and honest.

  Mr. Sheffield was quiet as his fingers tapped the arm of the loveseat in a very antsy manner. His ponderous face was much calmer now, and he was silent as he stared at the wall. Every once in a while, he’d close his eyes briefly before opening them again to look at me. He seemed to make a decision, though. A brief moment of sadness filled his face before he began to speak, and then it was gone.

  “I have a thought. You don’t have to agree to it if you don’t want to, but I feel like it would be the best way to help you learn quickly and efficiently.” His gaze was steady and completely focused on me. I tried to keep my eyes focused on him but constantly felt like I needed to look away. “I am giving you an opportunity that most people wouldn’t even consider. You’ll get a chance to turn your life around and do something with it. All I asked was for you to cook and clean, but you can’t do either one to my satisfaction currently.”

  I was silent as he spoke. I hung on every word that fell from his lips, knowing that things had changed, and all I hoped was that they had not changed beyond repair.

  “I’m old enough to be your father, and that may be why I am giving you this opportunity. I would hate to imagine a daughter of mine being in your position, and I’d hope that someone would give them an opportunity like this. I only know how to teach one way, and that’s through strict discipline along with rewards for good behavior.”

  “For an infraction such as this one, you would earn a bare-bottom spanking with my hand. If you did something worse, such as start a fire or completely forget to cook dinner, you could earn a spanking with the belt or a cane. The bruises on your ass would remind you to focus throughout the day, and you will try even harder to please me.”

  The thought of being spanked by Mr. Sheffield wasn’t something that I’d ever considered. I’d never considered being spanked by anyone for that matter, and my parents hadn’t even spanked me as a child. I’d been their princess, and they had overlooked my faults and praised me for everything I did right. Maybe this would be a good way to correct my bad track record with being a responsible young woman.

  “What do you think about my proposition?” His fingers tapped even faster on the edge of the loveseat.

  I knew what my answer would be. I’d already seen the light at the end of the tunnel of my poverty, and it led through this man. Did I want him to spank me? I didn’t know. I didn’t want the pain of being hit, but the thought of being disciplined seemed to be something that I could handle. I had no desire to ever live on the streets again, and if a little pain helped me to get to a happy and stable arrangement with Mr. Sheffield, I would do it. In truth, I had a strange desire to make him proud of me. I’d only known him for a day, but he was an impressive man. Plus, he just felt like the kind of father that I had pictured fairy tale princesses having.

  “Mr. Sheffield, I’ll do whatever i
t takes to keep my job and stay here with you. If you think that giving me a spanking will help me to become a better employee, I will gladly take it. You’ve given me the first bit of hope in so long, and I’m not going to let it slip away. I’m sorry that you’ll have to punish me, but I will gladly take whatever punishment you deem appropriate.”

  His eyes seemed to change from thoughtful and slightly frustrated into something different. Something primal. “Then bend over my knees, lift up your dress, and pull your panties down. You’ll get five swats for ruining dinner.” A shiver ran through me as his command rippled over my body.

  I nodded my head and slid my nervous body over his lap. I could feel his cock begin to rise underneath me, and my resolve to stay professional weakened. His cock began to twitch as I reached behind me and pulled up the back of my dress, exposing my ass to a man for the first time in so long that I barely recognized the feelings that coursed through my veins. His soft hand rubbed against my pale cheeks lightly, as though he were caressing a beautiful piece of art rather than a woman’s body.

  I pulled my thong down, and his hand grasped a full globe of flesh tightly before taking a deep breath. He was strong. So much stronger than I’d imagined. My heart was racing as I prepared myself for the pain that would soon be radiating from my ass. I had never had a spanking in my life, and I had no idea what to expect. His fingers released my ass, and I unconsciously held my breath as I waited for his hand to come down hard on me.

  Then I felt it, the stinging pain of his palm connecting with the tender bottom part of my right butt cheek. I let out a shriek as my body jolted forward trying to escape the pain. I wouldn’t escape him. I knew that. I had no control over my body as the pain shot through me, though, and I was thankful that his other arm had held me in place. His cock was standing at attention underneath me, pressing hard into my belly, and I felt a sensation overcome even the pain that radiated from my ass: lust. My blood was quickly flowing to my exposed pussy, and when his hand came down again, the shriek was much quieter even though the pain was much worse.

  I didn’t understand why I was getting wet from the spanking. I didn’t know if it was because I just wanted someone to touch me, or if it was the pain that was turning me on. Or was it the fact that I was being punished? I’d had rough sex before, and it hadn’t made me feel this way. The only way that this spanking could be any better was if my fingers were rubbing my clit, and Mr. Sheffield was whispering dirty things in my ear.

  My ass must have been growing red, and as his hand connected for the third time, I was silent. I closed my eyes and envisioned him spanking me and leaving crimson handprints where ever his large hands touched me. My breathing was deep and ragged as lust and desire filled my mind and body. My hands gripped his slacks tightly as my legs began to spread, subconsciously begging him to touch my other, more desperate areas. I would have called myself a filthy slut, except that it wasn’t just that I was horny and wanted a man’s touch. I only wanted this, and I only wanted Mr. Sheffield to be doing it. And I had no idea why.

  The fourth spanking didn’t elicit a shriek or cry. Instead, it was a soft moan of pleasure. I couldn’t understand anything my body was telling me at this point. I knew that there was pain, and I knew that I was embarrassed by being in this position. Except, the only sensation was that tingling electricity that flowed through your body as you relaxed and let a guy eat your pussy. That wasn’t right either, though. It was more like getting fingered in public. You knew that you should stop it, but you also knew that you didn’t want to.

  My ass moved back to its initial place almost instantly, and I wished that I could receive more than just five spankings. I didn’t want to have to make mistakes to continue receiving spankings from this experienced man. I didn’t understand why I would want pain, but the desire was clear. His hand on my ass was turning me on more than anything I’d experienced before, even when I’d been a party slut in college.

  The fifth spanking came down, and I let out a deep moan of desire causing his cock to twitch yet again underneath me. His hand began to pull my thong back into place, but his fingers grazed my pussy and sent waves of pleasure through me. My crotch moved with its own mind and softly rubbed against his leg. I longed to have something inside of me, but I didn’t know what to say or how to convince him to give it to me. He flipped the back of my dress down, and said, “You did well for your first spanking. Now you need to tell me, ‘Thank you, Mr. Sheffield, for helping me to become better for you.’”

  I stood up and looked down at the floor as I repeated the phrase back to him. My entire body was blushing as I stood before the man twice my age, and my embarrassment seemed to only increase my lust. I knew that he could tell just how horny I was, but he was ever the gentleman and ignored it.

  “Now, I’m going to order dinner. You should start making a grocery list so that you don’t have to worry about doing that tomorrow morning.” He seemed to be in complete control of himself even though I knew that he’d had a massive hard-on while he was spanking me. I wanted nothing more than to beg him to fuck me, but that wasn’t the kind of relationship we had. He was my employer, and I had to remember that. He was giving me a chance to turn my life around, and that was much more important than giving my pussy what she wanted. It would be much more difficult than I’d expected, and my punishments would only make it worse.

  “Yes, sir. I’ll do my best,” I said with a perky smile. I went back to the kitchen to get the pen and paper that were on the refrigerator to make the list. The smoke had cleared, and I began making a list of meals I thought I could handle. I heard the doorbell ring indicating that the food was here, and almost sat down at the table but thought better of it. I was a simple employee and shouldn’t expect to sit down before Mr. Sheffield.

  When Mr. Sheffield brought the Chinese food to the table. He handed me my portion, and I sat down next to him. I ate more slowly this time, trying to match his modest pace. It tasted delicious, and I was thankful for the ample amount that he had given me. We ate quietly, but my eyes continued to drift over to Mr. Sheffield’s body. After my spanking, I’d begun to appreciate him for more than his generosity. He was classically handsome, kind, strong, and wealthy. One question still bothered me, though. Why had he gotten a divorce if he was such a perfect catch?

  He interrupted my thoughts with a question, “Maggie, what did you enjoy doing in college? You told me why you were homeless, but you haven’t told me very much about yourself other than that.”

  I tried to think back to that year and a half. It seemed like an eternity ago, but I remembered the parties and the drunken adventures. Now that I’d matured, it seemed stupid, but the truth was that I was a drunk slut in college. I’d had a stupid job in data entry at the college, but it had been a very minimal amount of work, and most of the time, I’d just texted friends. It had been how I’d paid for my living expenses, and when I failed out of school, they’d fired me.

  I replied, “I enjoyed partying. Dancing, drinking, and sex were my only real hobbies, and they’re probably also the reason I failed out. I was in a sorority which only made it worse, but I didn’t do very much other than party with them. I was a dumb college girl.”

  Mr. Sheffield nodded at my response, and replied, “What would you be interested in pursuing now that you’re not just a dumb college girl?”

  I didn’t know how to respond at all. While I’d been homeless, I’d fantasized about what I’d do if I ever had an opportunity like this. Now that I had the opportunity, I didn’t remember any of the fantasies that had filled my days.

  “I don’t know. I think that I’d enjoy learning new things and maybe picking up some new skills. I’m very excited about learning to cook and clean, and I think I’ll start reading more. I enjoyed reading all sorts of things as a teenager.” I didn’t want to tell him that my favorite books were the steamy romances that my mother had hidden from my father.

  “Sometime this week, I’ll order some books for you. If you like t
hem, then I’ll buy more, but if not, then I’ll let you pick some out for yourself.”

  “Thank you, sir. I’d really appreciate that!”

  We finished our food quickly after that, and he said, “Why don’t you go to sleep so that you can be sure to wake up on time tomorrow. There’s an alarm clock in your bedroom. If you need anything, just knock on my door. Before you go to bed, I want to tell you how happy I am with our arrangement. As long as our agreement on punishments is held up, you don’t have to worry about being fired even if you do make mistakes, so sleep peacefully tonight without any stress.”

  I had a hard time not making moon eyes at Mr. Sheffield. My legs were clamped shut so that I didn’t “accidentally” slide a finger into my pussy.

  “I’m very happy with the arrangement as well, and I know I’ve said it before, but thank you for giving me a way out of my old life and for being so understanding.”

  He nodded and gave me a smile. “You’re welcome. Sleep well, Maggie. I’ll be expecting you at 6 am tomorrow.”