Text Me, Tweet Me, Need Me

by Susie Medwell

  “I want to apologize to you.”

  She hadn’t expected that. Definitely not that. He didn’t look like the type of man who apologized, after all he was always right wasn’t he?

  “About what?”

  “For deceiving you.”

  “Lying to me you mean?” Why couldn’t she just accept the apology, just say thanks? She was sure it came as an effort to him, so why the hell did she have to be like that, so defensive even when he was trying to be nice? Self protection. A lesson learned. A hard lesson.

  “I didn’t lie. It was more deception by omission.”

  “Well practiced.” She shrugged. Everyone in this business lied, what right had she to expect anything different from him. And everyone knew how to deny the lie, just clever words. “Don’t bother. You don’t need to apologize.”

  “I know I don’t need to.” He stood up, walked over to her. His eyes never leaving her face. So close now she could touch him. All she had to do was reach out. Accept his apology. But she couldn’t. He wasn’t really apologizing, he was making excuses. “I don’t need to, but I want to.”

  “Forget it.” She glanced down, but his hand was on her chin, forcing her to look up at him, to look into those eyes.

  “Look, I’m trying here. I’m being totally honest. I really didn’t think it mattered, I thought it was easier to just try and do it, not bother explaining.”

  “Why? Why did you have to hide things? Mislead me like every other bloody person has?”

  “I thought you’d jump to the wrong conclusions, assume it was charity, which you did last night when you found out. There is such a thing as being too proud, too independent you know. Give and take, go with the flow a little. Is it really that scary?” She wallowed in his soft tones. They modulated around her, softening the edges, softening the words.

  “I’ve always given and men have always taken. Give and take isn’t that appealing when it works like that.” His fingers tightened imperceptibly, his jaw clenched, the smile a bit more fixed. But she couldn’t help it. You might risk getting broken when you were brittle, but pliable just left a soggy mangled mess.

  “But it doesn’t have to be like that, hasn’t it occurred to you I might not be the enemy?”

  “Nope.”

  “Open up a bit, please Sam, let me in. I can’t help if you won’t.”

  “I don’t want help.” She pulled her head to one side, aware of the heavy imprint of his fingers on her chin. “And you don’t want to help me. You said that. Relationships are bad investments aren’t they, Ben? And I’m not just some commodity to be traded when my value gets too low.” He was hot and he was kind, so why couldn’t she just take what he was offering? But she couldn’t, because he wasn’t really offering anything at all. The air was tight with unspoken words, with a rack of questions that didn’t have answers. She held on for a second, one second when he could prove her wrong, could show he did care, did want to help her. One second when he could prove he hadn’t been acting a lie.

  And he said nothing. Not a word.

  * * * *

  As she swung the door open and did her best to march out, he found his voice. But it wasn’t for her.

  “Sophie.” She was on her feet before he had even said the second syllable. “Sam is coming along tonight to the launch so I agreed to provide clothing expenses. She won’t have time to shop though, so can you sort it please.”

  The door clicked shut behind her; it appeared they were both dismissed. At least he had been diplomatic. Which was to his credit she supposed, but it meant there was to be no get out clause. For a brief moment she had thought she could have wriggled her way out of the evening’s entertainment; if entertainment was the right word.

  Ladies and gentlemen, for one night only, an opportunity to spend an exclusive evening with the most handsome man you have ever made the mistake of sleeping with. A man who will mislead you, break your heart, and then tick you off his to do list.

  Sophie seemed to have taken it in her stride, as though it were a normal occurrence.

  “I’m sorry about this, if you’re too busy?”

  “It’s my job.” She smiled, and it looked sincere. “He’s always asking me to sort stuff out like that, I mean who has time to shop for last minute stuff and I know all the right people.” She was sizing Sam up, and was spot on with the suggested measurements. “I’ll get you new lingerie, the lot, you may as well.”

  “I don’t think…” Oh God, the thought that he was paying for her knickers!

  “Oh, don’t be daft. Most of my naughty knickers were funded by Ben.” She winked. “Not that he realizes I’m sure.” The laugh was quiet but definitely dirty. Sam felt herself starting to color up; why the hell did she get embarrassed so easily?

  “Have you ever, you and Ben?” She couldn’t help it, why couldn’t she just keep her mouth shut? The other girl’s grin spread even wider though. She couldn’t be proud of being shagged by the boss, surely?

  “Oh no, hun. I love him to bits don’t get me wrong, I’ve worked for him for years and we get on well. He’s cool. But he’s really not my type at all.” Her head tilted slightly to one side as she surveyed Sam. “Now, do you think a deep plum shade for the dress?”

  Two hours and a string of deliveries later and Sophie declared herself happy with her creation. Apart from Sam’s hair and makeup, which she declared was ‘quite frankly a disaster’. It appeared Sophie took her duties seriously, far too seriously Sam thought as she was bundled into the company car and whisked off to complete the makeover.

  * * * *

  Ben looked at Sam and knew he had a problem; a major problem. Wanting her sexually was only a part of it, although right now pinning her against the wall and ripping that elegant dress off her would satisfy at least one of his needs. But it was more than that. He wanted her to surrender herself completely to him. To give every last bit of herself, to unveil her fears, show him why she chewed the inside of her cheek so often, tell him what she wanted from life so he could provide it. And he wanted her to trust him.

  “You’ll do.” He heard the slight crack in his voice and hoped to hell she hadn’t. If he had thought he could resist her before, he’d just been proved wrong. Way wrong. This version of Sam was subtle, elegant and even sexier than before if that was possible. She looked unsure of herself, like she had after that amazing blow job, her eyes wavering, and uncertainty written in the way she held herself. There was something so innocent about her that for a brief second all he wanted to do was throw his arms round her and protect her. But he didn’t. He’d keep it light, give her chance to find her feet. “Nice dress.”

  “You should see the knickers you’ve bought.” She grinned, a full-on, naughty, relaxed grin that caught him right in the gut. The tension he was sure had been etched through her body dispersed so quick it might never have been there. It was almost like she’d made a decision to relax, to enjoy herself. Although that could just be his wishful thinking.

  “I’d love to, believe me. Maybe a private viewing?”

  She laughed. “Nice suit.”

  Her fingers brushed his, sending a fizz of awareness straight to his groin as she took the glass of champagne he’d forgotten he was holding out.

  “Come on darling, let’s party.”

  Now, before I have to grab you and do things I really shouldn’t do in public.

  The grin broadened to full on smile as she slipped her hand into his. However long this party lasted it was going to feel like a lifetime.

  * * * *

  “Well, well who would have thought I’d find you here?” Ben hesitated at the sound of the familiar, but unwelcome voice. But it was the effect it had on Sam that stopped him in his tracks. Her fingers tightened convulsively around his. He glanced down and her face was pale, deathly pale.

  Chapter 7

  Sam’s stomach lurched. Suddenly every last champagne bubble fell flat. She swiveled slowly round on her heel and came face to face with the last man in the
world she expected, or wanted, to see.

  “And don’t you two look all cosy.”

  “How the hell did you get in, Carlisle?” Exactly what she was thinking, but Ben said it first. And boy did he know how to do anger. For a second she was distracted. If only someone had taught her how to mix that ice and fire she would have skipped through life a lot more easily. She would have loved to have seen the matching look on his face, but she daren’t turn round.

  There was a slightly disturbed look on Andy Carlisle’s face, mixed with bluster. A confidence born from experience, that nothing bad could actually happen to him, because it never did.

  “You can go quietly or I’ll have you thrown out.” The voice was deliciously soft, but with a dangerous edge, the pussy cat purr before it jumped on its prey. His hand was still on the small of her back and for the first time in her life she felt protected, like she had her own private cavalry. Albeit a cross one.

  Andy’s gaze snaked from one to the other of them. Then he obviously decided she was the easier target.

  “Aren’t you going to tell him I’m with you, sweetie?” The endearment sent a shiver of revulsion through her and she took an involuntary step back, inwardly cringing. “Tell him we go way back.” It bordered on a command. Andy was used to her following his instructions. She’d been at his beck and call, bed and beyond for too long. Trusting him, fawning love and attention on him as though he was some demi-god, not the reptile she’d found out he was. My God, she’d actually slept with him. Her skin went cold and clammy. She’d slept with him, he’d touched her, and she’d touched him back. For the first time the thought turned her stomach.

  What on earth had she been thinking?

  Now he was still dictating to her. She’d left him after she’d found out about his wife, his soon-to-be-born baby. Tried to cut all ties, not realizing at first how determined he was to never let her go completely. She wasn’t allowed to leave him. He couldn’t see what the problem was, after all now that his wife was pregnant he needed her more than ever, didn’t he? And he’d blackmailed her, told her she’d never get another job without his support, cost her more work than she could remember by bringing Mike’s name up.

  She bit the inside of her cheek, her face flaming with a mixture of embarrassment and fear. She had a choice. Ask if he could stay, or risk him telling all. But suddenly she knew. No more running. Whatever the consequences. This was her mess to sort out.

  “Here.” She thrust her champagne glass in Ben’s direction. She needed to act before common sense took over; before playing fair won out.

  “Andy, I know it’s not clever and it’s not nice, but I really have to do this.” She smiled, took a step closer to him. Something about her body language must have warned him that this was not good; she wasn’t going to jump on him like a long lost lover. He took a small step backwards, nervous.

  “Don’t do anything stupid, Sam.”

  “Andy, you’re a shit and don’t ever, ever let anyone persuade you otherwise.” Then she swung at him. She’d never tried to hit someone before, never wanted to, and it wasn’t like you see on the movies. It was a wild, girlie throw type of punch. But he was startled, took another step back, veering his head away so his ugly face wouldn’t take the impact. He wobbled, neither of them noticing how close to the fountain they were, and then there was a comic second of realization. A look of panic on his face, but with his head back there was no way to regain his balance. He went. With more of a soggy plop than a splash.

  She flashed a bright smile at him, and then slowly, deliberately, turned on her heel, turning away from him, the past, blocking him out of her life like she should have done a long time ago.

  “That probably wasn’t very ladylike, was it?” Ben’s face was determinedly straight as he handed the glass of champagne back to her.

  “I’m not a lady, I’m a journalist.” He took her hand, rubbed the knuckles but she pulled back from his touch. It was too intimate. Too much of what she didn’t want.

  “I didn’t hit him hard, he just kind of backed away and the fountain happened to be there.” She took a sip of champagne to steady her nerves, and then she couldn’t help it. She glanced back over her shoulder.

  He stood thigh deep in water, the water splashing down behind him. His glasses skewed. It should have been funny, but it wasn’t. He was glancing between the two of them.

  “You stupid cow, you think he’s serious about you? I bet he’s not told you about the night Mike died, has he?” He gave a short laugh. “He doesn’t care about you, if that’s what you’re daft enough to think. He doesn’t love anyone but himself, the cold-hearted bastard. He’s using you, you stupid girl. But that’s all your fit for isn’t it? A good screw.” She took a step away, then another. All she had to do was keep on walking. “Has he told you he was the last person to see Mike?” She took another step. “You bloody deserve each other.”

  She ignored Ben’s hand when he reached out. She’d had enough of him, of the whole bloody lot of them.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  She glanced at the cloakroom, glared at his hand on her arm.

  “Let go of me, I’m going home.”

  “Oh, no you don’t, not until you explain what all that was about.”

  “Until I explain?” She stopped struggling and stared up at him. Who the hell did he think he was? “Isn’t it you who should be doing that?”

  “You’re the one who’s been sleeping with someone else. Isn’t one man enough for you?” His whole face darkened and his fingers bit into her arm. “And you really know how to pick them, don’t you?” And all she saw was scorn in his expression, scorn and anger.

  She looked him up and down. “Yes, I sure do, don’t I?”

  The pressure of his hand eased on her arm, leaving a cold empty space. “Fine, I’ll call you a cab.”

  “So that’s it then?” Suddenly Sam was furious. “This is all about you is it? Your hurt male ego because you think I’ve been seeing someone else? Well for your information that was all over a long time ago. It’s you whose been doing all the lying. You were with Mike on the night he fucking died and you didn’t think that was important enough to tell me?”

  “It’s not important.”

  “Yes it is. It is to me.” She’d trusted him, she’d fallen for him. And it was lies. Every last bit was a lie. She couldn’t believe any of it.

  “I was trying to–”

  “Cover up?”

  “Protect you, protect me? I don’t know.” He ran a hand through the thick dark hair. “Sam, I was trying to look after him because no one else ever had, but I let him down. I couldn’t stop him when it came to the crunch. Just like I can’t stop you.”

  “You don’t try and stop me from doing anything.”

  He laughed then, but it didn’t sound right. “I’ve tried to stop you leaving me, tried to look after you by giving you a job and you keep trying to throw it back in my face.”

  “But you wouldn’t let me.” She laughed shakily. “You’re like a terrier worrying a bone.”

  “I’ve tried to keep you away from the wrong men and you sleep with them.”

  “That’s long over. I finished with Andy before I met you.”

  “I’ve tried to stop you thinking what Mike did matters.”

  “But I just need to know, why can’t you understand that?”

  “Fine. Well, that woman he was seeing was blackmailing people. He just wanted to expose the scams but she wanted to make money out of it, I think she probably even tried it on Andy Carlisle and he wouldn’t have just rolled over and taken it. I don’t know whether Mike was helping, or just knew and turned a blind eye. Sex was screwing him up, making him do things he wouldn’t have normally done.”

  “But that wasn’t your fault.”

  “I could have stopped him driving off to meet her that night. If he hadn’t been with her he might have been alive.”

  “Or he might just have been with someone else.”r />
  “I’m scared you’re like him. I thought I knew you, and then all of a sudden you’re in bed with Carlisle of all people.”

  She gave a low laugh. “Sleeping with the enemy? He saw us together that first night you know.”

  “What?”

  “That first night in the bar, I think he’d been following me. He sent me a text.”

  “Why would he be following you if it was over?”

  “It was over for me, but he wouldn’t let go and when he texted asking what I was doing with you I panicked.” She bit on her bottom lip. “And he knew who you were, even though I didn’t.”

  “Well, we do work in the same business.”

  “But I didn’t realize that then, did I?”

  “That’s why you did a runner?”

  “He’d fucked my life up enough already. I didn’t want to give him any more chances.”

  Suddenly comprehension dawned. “You mean that shit deprived me of your gorgeous body?”

  “Who says I would have slept with you anyway?”

  “I say. This says.” He leaned forward, his soft lips briefly on hers, his tongue snaking into her mouth. She couldn’t help but respond, part her own lips, lean forward. But he pulled back, his point made.

  “I know him, Sam. We’re in the same line of business, and I wouldn’t trust a bone in his body, but it’s you he just called sweetie. Are you sure it’s over?”

  “That shit is the reason I can’t get work at the moment, and the reason I don’t do men anymore.” She looked out across the road not wanting to meet his gaze, felt him coming closer. “What you just saw wasn’t some lovers tiff, Ben.”

  “Are you okay?” He was close, so close the question was almost a whisper in her ear. His warm body was inches from hers, warm enough to feel the heat. “You’re trembling.”

  “Yes.” She glanced at the strong features and gave a small laugh, suddenly realizing it was relief not fear that was making her shake. But she didn’t stop him putting a warm arm round her, settling his hand on her waist. Didn’t move away.

  “Are you going to tell me what all that was about? Or ...”