Ghosted: Wicked Wedding Planners Series

by Alyssa Parsons

Leanna comes by my office the next day. ‘How have you been doing?’

  ‘Not great, things have been really rough,’ I look up at her over a pile of paperwork that has built up. ‘It’s already Thursday and I still have tons to get through by the end of the week.’

  ‘Poor you,’ Leanna seems tense and I know there is something she wants to tell me.

  ‘What?’ I wish she would just come out with it.

  ‘What do you mean?’ she looks at me slightly taken aback.

  ‘I can tell there is something you want to tell me,’ I snap at her. ‘So just get on with it.’

  She looks at me in surprise. ‘I bumped into Shana yesterday.’

  I roll my eyes. ‘What did she want? To gloat about what’s happened with Alice.’

  ‘Quite the opposite in fact. She had something rather interesting to tell me.’

  ‘Go on then,’ I say but I hardly think anything Shana has to say is important.

  ‘The birth certificate that Alice sent you is fake,’ Leanna says.

  ‘Fake, how do you mean?’

  ‘It’s been tampered with,’ Leanna explains. ‘Shana’s been feeling bad and I guess the guilt got to her in the end.’

  ‘Why would Shana feel guilty?’ I ask.

  ‘Because she helped Alice fake it. Shana is a whiz with photoshop and other editing software. They doctored the certificate. They changed the name from Aaron to Caspar so you would believe he was Ellie’s father.’

  ‘You are joking me?’ I am stunned.

  ‘No, I’m not.’

  ‘That bitch, what the hell have I ever done to her?’ I am fuming.

  ‘I don’t think it was ever about you with Shana. She’s madly in love with Alice’s brother and she would do anything to say on Alice’s good side. Alice has been telling her for years that she will get them together,’ Leanna explains.

  ‘Are you serious about this?’

  ‘Totally,’ Leanna assures me.

  ‘Why has Shana suddenly turned on Alice then?’

  ‘Shana is done with Alice and her whole family. She’s finally realised that Alice’s brother is never going to be interested her. Apparently, Alice has been in a foul mood recently. Caspar’s been to see her and told her in no uncertain terms that nothing is ever going to happen between them.’

  ‘So what does that have to do with Shana coming clean about everything?’ I am still not fully getting why Shana has just dropped Alice in it.

  ‘Alice dropped her guard. She’s loved having Shana as her little tag along mate who does everything she asks. She’s been hooking Shana along by telling her that she will get her together with her brother.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘Anyway Alice was so angry when she realised that all her dirty little tricks to break you guys up didn’t work to get Caspar back. She told Shana that her brother would never ever fancy her in a million years.’

  ‘Really?’ I am intrigued at this turn of events.

  ‘Yeah, Alice totally lost it. She was screaming and throwing things around. She ended up shouting at Shana saying that she couldn’t stand her and she’d only been using her. She said that her brother was seeing someone else and it was getting serious between them.’

  ‘Oh my god,’ I am shocked.

  ‘This just shows how messed up this girl is.’

  ‘Did she not think that Shana was going to be so pissed off, she’d come and tell us,’ I say.

  ‘You’d think but her ego is just so big that I don’t think she thinks Shana would ever betray her.’

  I have been so preoccupied in taking in the gossip between Alice and Shana that the news has just hit me. Caspar was right all along. He’s not the dad. Wow, after all that emotional torture.

  Leanna gives me a few minutes to process all this information.

  ‘So, how do you feel now that you know the truth?’ she asks me.

  ‘I don’t really know.’

  Chapter 31

  A fter Leanna came to me with Shana’s confession, I went into overdrive at work to block things out. I can’t believe Alice lied about her own daughter. Once again I got the wrong end of the stick with Caspar and didn’t let him tell me his side of the story. My head is all over the place. Luckily I am distracted as I have so much work to catch up on and both a Friday and Saturday wedding to attend.

  I tell Auntie Jo what’s happened but she’s told me not to rush into anything as I have been through so many ups and downs lately. I agree with her as things still did not feel right with Caspar. Even though I now know the truth, there are still a couple of things niggling at me.

  Like the fact that there had been a small possibility that he may have been the father of Alice’s child. I mean I know we weren’t technically together straight after he got back from Australia. But he still went there with her.

  What is it that keeps drawing him back to her?

  I know he says it was a bad judgement call and he is completely over her.

  But will he ever truly be able to let go?

  It really shook me up, seeing them sitting together at Honey’s wedding.

  I still feel uneasy about the dynamics between him and Alice. I don’t know if I can ever really trust him again. Things always end up being a disaster when we are together and I end up getting badly hurt.

  On the other hand, we did talk through all the stuff in the past and why he ghosted me. I do believe he hasn’t got feelings for Alice. I can even understand why he ghosted me. It wasn’t the right thing to do but he was immature and I know he deeply regrets it.

  I also know he does love me but is that enough?

  On Sunday, I decide it’s time to move back into my house. As great as it has been staying at Auntie Jo’s, I need to get back to reality.

  ‘I’m going to miss you,’ she says as I load my bag into my car.

  I reach over to hug her ‘You’ve been amazing, I don’t know how I could have got through the last few days without you.’

  ‘You know I am always here for you. Listen you call me whenever and remember I will support you no matter what you choose to do,’ she hugs me tightly.

  It feels strange to walk back into my house. There is a small pile of post on the floor so I pick it up and plonk it on my hallway table. A handwritten envelope catches my eye. I know straight away it’s from Caspar.

  I pick it up from the pile. The rest of it looks like bills and those can definitely wait until later. I head upstairs to do the one thing that always helps to relax me. Sink into a hot luxurious bubbly bath. I’m going to use my expensive jasmine bath oil. It smells heavenly and makes my skin feel so soft.

  I run my bath and get a cup of herbal tea. I lower myself into the gorgeous bubbles once the tub has filled up and spend a few minutes enjoying heat and smell of the oil. Eventually, I open Caspar’s letter.

  He has put in a picture of us. The photo is of a selfie we took the first night I went round for dinner at his flat. It’s my favourite picture of us. I smile a little, remembering how happy and excited we were. He has written ‘Miss You’ on the back of the picture.

  I suppose I am going to have to get in touch with him. I can’t keep ignoring him forever especially now I know the truth.

  I send him a Whatsapp message asking if he is free to meet for lunch tomorrow. A few hours later, I still haven’t got a reply from him. That’s strange. I would have thought he would have replied as soon as he got my message. I look at the message but there is only one tick. It hasn’t been delivered to his phone. He hasn’t seen it. I wonder what’s up with his phone.

  It’s late and I am tired. I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to figure things out. I wake up the next morning expecting to see a message from Caspar. Nothing! No blue ticks either. He still hasn’t seen the message. I get to work and decide I will ring his workplace.

  ‘Hello,’ answers the SGM receptionist.

  ‘Oh hi, I’m trying to get hold of Caspar Danes. Is he available please?’ I try to sound as casual as possible.<
br />
  ‘He’s not in the office this week, I’m afraid. He’s gone to the US for meetings,’ says the receptionist.

  ‘Oh right. Thanks anyway,’ I say completely stunned that he is out of the country and I didn’t know.

  ‘Would you like to leave a message?’ she asks me.

  ‘No that’s fine, thanks,’ I hang up.

  That explains why he hasn’t received the message. He was probably flying last night and didn’t have any reception. That makes me feel a little bit better. He is not blocking or ignoring me at least.

  I crack on with some work but my mind is restless and I am finding it difficult to concentrate. A little while later, a message comes through and it’s from Caspar.

  I quickly tap my password into my phone and read it.

  Sammi

  Sorry I couldn’t reply

  ooner. I was on a flight

  to New York. I’ve got

  meetings here all week.

  I’m so pleased you

  got in touch. I don’t know

  how easy it will be to speak

  as we are 5 hours behind. Let

  me know when you are free.

  Cx

  I don’t know what to reply back with. It makes it so much harder and awkward to talk when he is out of the country. Part of me knows I’ve got to eat humble pie and apologise to him for believing Alice’s lies. It’s going to be hard as I should have given him the benefit of the doubt.

  But how was I suppose to know that Alice is a complete psycho though? I mean who goes to the trouble of faking their own daughter’s birth certificate just to break someone up?

  I decide its best to try to speak to him as soon as possible. I text him to tell him I am in the office all day so he can ring whenever or he can call me later tonight.

  I carry on with some more work. Amelie’s wedding has been so much easier to plan now that Linda has stepped back from it all.

  Chapter 32

  A couple of hours later, I receive a text from Caspar telling me he’s got a bit of free time now if I can take his call.

  Sure, why not, I think. I text back a reply.

  Damn, he’s facetiming me. Not ideal but I don’t feel like I can ignore his call.

  ‘Hi,’ I answer my phone. I hate seeing myself on the little screen. I always find it quite distracting.

  ‘Hey Sammi,’ Caspar says back but things are definitely bit weird between us.

  ‘So ummm, I’ve had time to do a bit of thinking,’ I don’t know how to start off this conversation

  ‘Okay,’ he says.

  ‘So, it’s just come to light that Alice did lie about you being Ellie’s dad….,’ I pause waiting for his reaction.

  ‘I told you,’ Caspar says. He sounds relieved but I can also tell he is upset with me for not allowing him the chance to tell me his side of the story.

  ‘I know but in my defence, Alice was pretty convincing,’ I try justifying my reaction.

  ‘Look Sammi, just stop there, you should have believed me. We have built up this amazing relationship again and you weren’t willing to hear me out.’

  ‘That’s totally not fair Caspar,’ I am fuming. How dare he turn this round on me all of a sudden?

  ‘You know what’s not fair, Sammi? It’s not fair that you wouldn’t give me a chance to talk to you.’

  ‘Well if your past behaviour is anything to go by,’ I know as soon as I speak those words out loud, it was the wrong thing to say.

  ‘See that’s just it Sammi. I thought we had moved past all this. Our relationship will never work if you keep bringing up the past. I’ve tried my hardest making it up to you and build trust again. You can’t keep throwing this back in my face.’

  ‘Well why didn’t you tell that Alice was going to be at the wedding too? I’m not sure you are building much trust there,’ I throw back at him.

  ‘Sammi, trust can’t be built when you refuse to speak to me or listen to my side of the story. I only knew a couple of days before that we were going to the wedding. You were so busy that week and you didn’t even have time to call me.’

  ‘You could have messaged me,’ I say in a whingy voice.

  ‘I told you I was going there with my family. To be honest, I didn’t realise Alice was even invited. I didn’t think going to an old family friend’s wedding was an issue.’

  ‘That’s convenient,’ I say aware that I sound childish but I can’t seem to help myself.

  ‘Sammi, we aren’t getting anywhere here. I don’t want to fight with you. I think we should wait until I get back so we can talk face to face and sort this out,’ Caspar says.

  ‘I don’t think there’s much left to talk about Caspar. I’ve been thinking loads over the last week and I don’t think I can keep doing this You’re right, I shouldn’t keep bringing up the past but I obviously can’t get over it. That’s not good for building a relationship. I feel like I will always be treading on eggshells with you.’

  ‘Sammi, I think you are overreacting. Don’t let Alice’s behaviour ruin things between us.’

  ‘That’s just it Caspar, I’m opening up to you and explaining exactly how I feel. All you can say is that I am overreacting. That’s really dismissive. I am still really hurt from what you did and yes it may take time …….and yes maybe I shoudn’t be throwing things back in your face when have decided to move on……’

  ‘Exactly,’ Caspar interrupts my rant.

  ‘But I can’t,’ I say quietly.

  ‘Look Sammi, you just need a bit more time. You’ve got some space this from me this week and then we can talk constructively when I get back this weekend.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘I’ve got to get to my meeting Sammi but just think about what we’ve talked about,’ Caspar looks worn out as he finishes our conversation.

  After we hang up, I put my head in my hands. This is just so draining. A big part of me knows he is right. We just need to talk and get past this crazy Alice situation.

  But there is a small part of me that just can’t move on from this. I can’t seem t0 fully accept that things are truly finished between Caspar and Alice or trust him for that matter. I have become insecure ever since he ghosted me and I’m not sure if I can ever fully recover.

  I try to get through the week while Caspar is away. Since Honey’s wedding, things have got pretty ordinary at work. No more themed weddings. Linda is no longer attending the appointments with Amelie. All my new brides are acting normal and have shown no bridezilla tendencies so far.

  The good news is that things with Thom have slightly improved. He is talking to me now and we have started easing back into our old friendship. It’s not quite back to how it was but it’s certainly heading back in the right direction.

  He has been seeing a therapist to fully get over his toxic relationship with Sasha. He wants to work on becoming more assertive in future relationships and avoid making the same mistakes. We have even gone out for a foodie lunch and I have told him about my situation with Caspar. He thinks I should go for therapy too. So I went for a session and it was very helpful.

  I have also made a decision. I don’t feel I can carry things on with Caspar anymore. There’s just too much pressure and too many trust issues surrounding us. I am devastated that I don’t feel I can work things out with him but it just doesn’t feel right being with him right now. I love him so much but I can’t move forward with him at the moment.

  My head feels a bit clearer now that I have made a decision and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It’s going to be a tough few weeks or even months but I feel stronger and more determined now. I have a thriving business to grow and great friends and family around me.

  I am going to continue having a few more therapy sessions to help build up my self-esteem and confidence. Thom’s therapist has recommended it as we have worked out that Caspar’s ghosting has caused deep-rooted self-confidence issues which have caused me to subconsciously sabotage my relationships. She s
aid until I can rebuild my confidence and work through these issues, I will never be able to be in a happy relationship.

  I pick up my diary to write an entry – it’s sort of an open letter to Caspar, summarizing what our relationship meant to me. The therapist has asked me to write all my thoughts down.

  May 9th

  Caspar, for a long time after you disappeared I wanted you back. I spent months fantasising about how we would meet again and get back together. I was desperate to get you back at any cost. Months passed by and then years. I still did not hear from you. I even started seeing someone else. It lasted for a while but deep down I knew it would never work out.

  Because, he wasn’t you, Caspar. I missed our banter and our silly little jokes. I still cried at nights for a long time after you left. I missed you and all I wanted was for you to comfort me. I would wake up every day and carry on but it hurt. Constant reminders of us were everywhere…… hearing the songs we liked, going past the pubs we used to drink in and the parks we would have picnics in. I felt the sharp pain of daggers piercing my heart over and over again.

  But in time, things got a bit easier. Time is a great healer so they say and it’s true. It got easier to move on and imagine a life without you. I have even begun to see that your disappearance was not about me. You disappeared because of your own failures and issues. You weren’t strong enough to come and face me.

  I gave you the time to listen to your side of the story. Of course I was defensive and angry at first but I put things into perspective and gave you a chance. I realised that you had been scared to tell me about Alice. You were scared to hurt me and you were scared to lose me.

  I am not angry anymore. I still love you very much. You are still one of the most important people in my life. You were a big part of my life and my biggest ever relationship. I am so thankful for the time we spent together and the memories we made together. In a way you have taught me so much. I feel that we are soul mates. I know this sounds really cheesy but we do have a big connection.

  I realise that I have never truly got over being ghosted by you, even though a whole 8 years have passed. I thought I had got past the hurt you caused but my reaction when you came back to Roseford proved I hadn’t. I need to heal and move past what has happened. I think it was just too easy to get back together with you straight away and hope things would be perfect.