Death's Academy

by Bast, Michael

  “You must be the runt of the litter,” I say with a crooked smile.

  His sneer transforms into a scowl.

  “I’m a Shetland, you stupid hoodie, one of the most lethal unicorns on the planet.”

  “And one of the prettiest too. Did your mama unicorn tie those bows for you?” I ask.

  His face slightly brightens. “No, I did them myself, but I do agree I am—”

  He realizes that I was being sarcastic and pounds his little fist into his other claw.

  “I’m going to enjoy this,” he says.

  He takes a step toward me, a sinister smile stretching across his face. All of a sudden, there’s a silver flash. Something heavy smacks the unicorn in the face. Dong! Upon impact there is an explosion of shorty coins that shower the entire area like tinkling raindrops. The unicorn staggers for a moment and then collapses backward to the earth. He lands spread eagle on the ground, his rose-colored bows strewn all about the pavement.

  The object that drilled him in the face spins a couple of times on the ground and then comes to rest. I do a double take. It’s the top of a parking meter. You know, where you shorties stick money to leave your car in a parking spot.

  I whip my head around to see who flung the meter at the unicorn’s face, and I see the most startling sight all night. Brilliance Michaels, the golden-haired halo, hobbles from the shadows with her iron skull ball boot clamped to her foot. She jerks her ankle to the side and the boot unfastens. In one smooth moment she flicks her leg like she is kicking a hacky sack and the boot flips into her hands.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks.

  I know she has just asked me a question. I know I should hate her, but the way her hair just swept across her face and the sparkle coming from her sapphire colored eyes have left me in a stupor. I manage to blink.

  “I said, what are you doing here?” she asks, peering up and down the alleyway.

  “Uh,” I say.

  She folds her arms and scrunches her eyebrows. Wow! Even her eyebrows are amazing! There isn’t a hair out of place, each one a follicle masterpiece.

  “Are you one of those dumb hoodie jocks that can’t put a sentence together?”

  Ouch. That one kind of stung. I give my head a shake, and it rattles my tongue free.

  “I’m looking for my friend Mal. I think she’s been captured by the unicorns,” I say. “What are you doing here?” Just as I finish my question, a hulking shadow with a spike extending from its skull emerges on the wall behind Brilliance. “Someone’s coming!” I whisper.

  We both scurry for the opposite wall and slide around the corner.

  “Come on,” she says, and we sprint farther down the narrow road and dive behind a dumpster.

  We both peek around its side, but the unicorn doesn’t appear.

  “I’m a Michaels, that’s why I’m here,” she says.

  I screw up my face and glance over her. “What the heck does that mean?”

  She lets out an exasperated sigh like I’ve just asked the stupidest question in the world.

  “You know who my father is.”

  “No, I don’t,” I lie.

  “He’s only one of the greatest halos of all time. Lightcrest Michaels.”

  I scratch my head. “Nope, doesn’t ring a bell,” I lie again.

  She frowns at me, and I can tell that she has caught on that I’m lying. “I’m here because I’m my father’s daughter, and the Michaels family is known to be a family of doers, a family of heroes. I saw the smoke from my house, and I saw the emergency signal on the TV, so I came down to see if I could help.” She then straightens herself up to her full height and looks off into the distance. “ ‘When there is trouble, or help is needed, a Michaels will always plunge into the fray without fear or concern for his own safety,’ ” she quotes and then gives me a nod.

  The corner of my mouth arches up into a smirk. “Nice saying. Did your dad give you an ice cream cone the first time you were able to repeat it?”

  If her eyes could shoot shards of glass, I would be impaled by a thousand razor-sharp pieces.

  “My dad is a hero, and if I can be half as brave as he is, I’ll be lucky. I should have let that Shetland unicorn crush your head like a grape,” she says. “They are the most lethal of their kind. They like to keep their victim alive for as long as possible. Torture, maim, all of that kind of stuff. He probably would have started with popping off your fingers and toes. They like to wear them around their neck like trophies.”

  I gulp and do a quick count on all my fingers and toes. “How do you know so much about unicorns?”

  “My dad taught me. He didn’t believe they were extinct.”

  I feel a twinge of guilt race up my spine. I lower my eyes and pay close attention to the trash at my feet. “Thank you … for knocking that unicorn out.”

  She snorts. “Wouldn’t do it again. So who are you looking for?”

  “My best friend, Mal. She was at Larkspur Park and—”

  “Larkspur! That’s where the unicorns attacked from! That’s crazy. Why would she have been down there?”

  The twinge of guilt turns into a full-on bolt of shame. I bite my lip.

  “I think they’ve got her. I hope she’s okay,” I say.

  “Wait a second,” Brilliance says, cocking her head to one side and squinting. “Was she the one helping you when you tried to kill me with the car?”

  I had an uncomfortable feeling that this was going to come up. “I wasn’t trying to kill you … just knock you unconscious. I messed up the timing. The skull was supposed to stop you from flying out into the street.”

  “So that’s what whizzed by my face,” she says with her hands firmly clasped onto her hips. “Nice. Real nice.”

  I shrug. “Nothing personal. I just didn’t want you to play in the game.”

  Clack! Clack! Clack!

  Both of us leap farther behind the dumpster. The sound of the unicorn footsteps crosses through a neighboring alleyway and then fades away. We simultaneously exhale in relief.

  “Was this Mal wearing a brown sweater with a horrific pattern on the front tonight?”

  I scrunch up my brow, trying to remember which sweater she was wearing. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “About this tall?” Brilliance holds her hand out just below her chin. “Not very attractive?”

  “I don’t know about that,” I say, offended on Mal’s behalf.

  “All you hoodies are a different shade of ugly. It’s not your fault,” she says.

  Now I’m offended. “Why? Have you seen her?” I ask earnestly.

  Brilliance nods slowly. “Yes …”

  Nineteen

  You did? Where?” I ask.

  Brilliance starts to shake her head. “I only saw her for a couple of seconds. Her hands and feet were bound. A unicorn threw her over his shoulder and carried her into the Lock about an hour ago.”

  “So she’s alive!” I say, giving Brilliance a hug in relief. I catch a strong whiff of sunflowers and sea spray.

  “Eww, gross,” she squeals and peels me off of her. “You smell like a carpenter’s jock strap!”

  I stumble backward and pull my shirt up to smell it. “Like what?”

  “You’re all woody and musky; I’m gonna have to take two baths after this,” she says, pulling at her clothes with the tips of her thumb and forefinger. “Anyway, she was alive an hour ago.”

  “Do you remember which door she was taken in?” I ask.

  “It wasn’t a door; it was a ramp that goes underground. I couldn’t see very far down into it. It was too dark.”

  “She’s been taken into the dungeons,” I say, scratching my chin. I extend my hand out to Brilliance. “Thank you for all your help.”

  She glares at my hand as if it is covered with scabby puss and shakes her head.

  “I’m coming with you,” she says.

  “Why? We’re hoodies, and you’re a halo,” I say.

  “And? I want to help if I can.
My dad would help. My dad would take on all of these unicorns. I’m a Michaels, and we Michaels—”

  “Yeah, yeah, help with dangerous stuff. I know,” I say. “Well, let’s go. Follow me.”

  She jumps in front of me, blocking my way. “Yeah, right. You’re not leading. You’re about as stealthy as an elephant in clogging shoes. “Follow me,” she says, pressing tightly against the shadowed wall.

  With each step, the sound of flames and raised voices crackles together like stones tumbling down a mountainside. We reach the edge of the alleyway. We dip down onto our stomachs and slide underneath an abandoned car. We get our first glimpse of the Lock. The stone spires are engulfed in a lapping sea of flames. On the right side of the building, part of the second floor has been completely torn away as if a giant’s meaty hand punched through it.

  The scene between our hiding place and the pronged gate that leads into the Lock courtyard is a horrific site. Shattered glass sparkles red and yellow, reflecting the roaring fire above. Peppered among the glass are at least a dozen bodies in Sickle uniforms. Each one of them is twisted and bent unnaturally.

  Only thirty yards away is a pack of hoodies herded together by a handful of unicorns. Some of the hoodies are cowering in fright, and others are pleading for mercy. The unicorns seem to be basking in the experience. They pull out a victim—Wolf, the hulking guard with the mousy voice. One of the unicorns picks Wolf up over his head. Wolf lets out a high-pitched squeak. The unicorn twirls him around like a helicopter blade and then flings him twenty feet into the air. The other unicorns laugh and cheer. Wolf’s body flails like a rag doll through the air, and right before it smacks into the cement, the unicorn catches him. The unicorn then shoves his limp body back into the group of hoodies, knocking others over like bowling pins.

  “I saw them take her down there,” Brilliance whispers and points behind the mangled gate.

  There’s a forty-yard gap between our hiding place and the gate. No cars, no walls, nothing to sneak behind. Only wide-open street.

  “There’s no way we’re going to get there without getting spotted,” she says.

  I peer down the other side of the street, hoping for another route, but flashes of white unicorns rushing about and distant screams discourage that idea.

  “Especially with the way you run,” she continues.

  I give her a dirty look. “I’ve got to try,” I say.

  She snorts. “They’ll catch you before you can get halfway there. You might be okay with suicide, but I’m not. You don’t become a hero by getting caught.” She scoots herself backward from underneath the car. “Let’s get out of here before they spot us. We’ll sneak around and ambush any stragglers we come across.”

  I don’t move.

  “Come on,” she says and tugs on my shirt. “There’s no chance.”

  I shake my head.

  She crawls forward so she is eye to eye with me.

  “Mal wouldn’t want you to do something stupid. Besides, you’re a hoodie, not a hero.” She tugs harder on my shirt. “Come on, before they see us.”

  “No. It’s my fault she’s down there. I’m not leaving without her, so you can either help me or button up, because it’s making it hard to concentrate,” I say and pull her hand off my shirt.

  She stares at me for a moment with an expression that seems to be a mixture of surprise and pity. She shakes her head. “Good luck. You’re an idiot, but good luck.” She scoots herself backward again.

  Suddenly, one of the hoodie prisoners bolts from the pack. The unicorns spring into action and race after him.

  “Look!” I whisper and reach back to get Brilliance’s attention.

  “They’re distracted! Now! Go now!” Brilliance says and pushes me. I roll out from underneath the car and can feel broken glass sticking to my shirt. I’m on my feet, galloping for the courtyard, and I hurdle over a piece of the deformed gate, landing in the cobblestone courtyard.

  I glance over my shoulder, and to my surprise, Brilliance is right on my heels. We cut for the ramp descending into the parking garage and the dungeons. There’s a slight reddish glow coming from the ramp. I feel Brilliance’s hand on my lower back.

  “Faster!” she whispers.

  I double my efforts, and within a moment the ground beneath our feet begins to slope.

  Ahead of us, the garage is illuminated by dozens of bonfires. Sickle coaches are scattered about and aflame. Several of the stone columns that support the ceiling have been eaten away by glowing green and orange gumdrop acid.

  “Don’t touch the walls!” I call over my shoulder. “Acid!”

  “I know.”

  A few more Sickle bodies lay strewn across the cobblestone floor. A unicorn carcass lies motionless not far from their bodies.

  I motion to Brilliance to follow. I lead her behind a stone column in front of the skull-encrusted entrance to the building.

  “That’s how we get in,” I say, panting.

  She crinkles her nose. “Where does it go?”

  “It’s a tunnel for a while, but then it opens up into a gigantic room. There’s a door to the dungeons on the opposite side of that room.”

  Her crinkled nose evolves into a disgusted scowl. “What kind of skulls are those?”

  “Unicorn, manticore, and griffin.”

  She shakes her head. “Hoodies.”

  I shrug and creep forward to the mouth of the tunnel. Many of the skulls have been ripped from the arch and lay scattered across the ground at our feet.

  I put my finger to my lips and inch into the tunnel. Only a few torches remain, so stretches of the path are obscured in darkness. We scurry forward. Pieces of broken stone and skull dot the floor.

  “We should almost be to the gate,” I whisper. The flickering torch casts a dancing pool of light just ahead of us. I extend my leg to take a step into the light when I’m yanked backward. “Hey—”

  Brilliance slaps a hand over my mouth and points down the tunnel. I squint into the darkness. Behind the shattered gate, a shimmer of firelight reflects off something pressed up against the wall.

  “Unicorn,” she whispers. She motions for me to follow her and we creep back out of the tunnel. “That was close.”

  I nod and peek back around the opening of the tunnel, but it’s too dark to see the hiding unicorn.

  “Any ideas?” she asks.

  I shake my head and slide down the wall onto my backside.

  “Is there another way in from down here?”

  “No. This is it,” I say and kick at one of the skulls at my feet. The unicorn head tumbles forward and spins once on the ground. I glance up at Brilliance and see the iron boot still hanging over her shoulder. An idea pops into my head. “We’ll knock him out!”

  I pick up the unicorn skull and twirl it in my hands.

  “I’ll get his attention and get him to chase me. You kick the skull and knock him out,” I say excitedly.

  Brilliance grabs the skull from me and flips it over in her hands. She shakes her head.

  “You can do it. You’re an amazing striker,” I say encouragingly.

  “I know I am, but look at the shape of this thing. There’s no way I can control where it goes.”

  I take the skull back and twirl it once. My heart sinks. It feels clumsy. She’s right, there’s no way to control where it would go.

  “But you’ve given me an idea,” she says, staring at the archway over the tunnel entrance.

  I tiptoe down the corridor and reach the edge of the torch light. I can still see the shimmering reflection off the unicorn’s white coat. I check both of my shoes to make sure the laces are tied; I get my insult ready and hop into the light.

  “Hey, you buck-toothed donkey! Why don’t you come out and play?”

  Okay, so “buck-toothed donkey” isn’t the best insult I’ve ever come up with, but under the circumstances you can’t expect to demean in Shakespearean verse. I guess it worked because the startled unicorn leaps from his hiding place and ne
arly knocks over the remaining pieces of the iron gate.

  His teeth are clenched and his mane bristles in anger. I gulp. He lets out an ear-piercing whinny. I turn on the spot and race for the corridor entrance. I have to dodge a minefield of skulls and stones. The charging hooves crash down the corridor behind me. The clack, clack, clack echoes through the corridor like cannon shells exploding behind my head.

  Suddenly my foot catches the edge of a manticore skull and I tumble to the earth.

  “Got you now, hoodie!” the unicorn cackles.

  I scramble up and sprint as fast as my legs can take me. I am nearly to the edge of the corridor when I feel the hot panting of the unicorn’s breath on the back of my neck.

  “I’ll crack your head like a chestnut, boy!”

  “Now!” Brilliance screams.

  I throw myself to the ground just as Brilliance swings down from the archway, the iron boot fastened to her foot. She extends her leg and the boot smacks the unicorn square in the jaw. Crack! The Unicorn spins around violently, collides into the corridor wall, and goes limp.

  Brilliance drops from the archway. Clunk! She flicks her ankle and kicks the iron boot up into her hands and throws it over her shoulder.

  “Not bad,” I say as I pick myself up.

  She shrugs. “My dad would have probably come up with something better, but it was okay.” Brilliance puts her hands on her hips and tilts her chin up slightly. “When there is trouble or help is needed, a Michaels will always plunge into the fray without fear or concern for his own safety.” She nods her head and folds her arms.

  “Are you going to repeat that every time we run into trouble?”

  She gives me a sidelong glance.

  “Because it won’t just be the unicorns that want to do you in by the end,” I say, dusting off my pants.

  I notice a small smile cross her lips, and I can’t help it; I smile too.

  “I’d love to see you try,” she says, and her smile spreads across her face. “Let’s go.”

  We take off down the tunnel and pass the shattered iron gate. The mouth of the tunnel opens up and we sneak into the cavernous room. The room might as well be a nightclub. Reds, blues, and greens dance back and forth, lighting up splintered desks and scattered papers on the floor. Both Brilliance and I glance up at the ceiling at the same time. The stained-glass windows above us seem to be alive and moving like an old-time picture show. The roaring fire from the rooftop shines through the glass, causing the light spectacle below.