Love Octagon

by Felicia Rogers

  As he thought about each woman, he realized Martha was the leader. She was the queen of the hive. There was no doubt about it. It wasn’t because she had sought it out like Karen was attempting to do. It was probably because she was the first wife in line. Most likely, she was the natural leader because, quite simply, she’d been there the longest.

  The more Kevin thought about it, the more he realized he didn’t know too much about these women. What he did know was all surface stuff. Totally superficial. He didn’t know their favorite colors. Their favorite foods. Their favorite TV shows or movies. He didn’t even know if he held anything in common with them. What could have possessed him to marry Martha, then turn around and marry so many others? He just couldn’t figure it out. He never thought of himself as one who was hard to satisfy. Surely it didn’t take seven women to have all the qualities he desired.

  After sitting in the cold mist of the morning and mulling over all his wives’ personalities, he got a chill. He stood up and took a walk along the sand. His head was bent to avoid the watery spray, so he didn’t see her until it was too late. He bumped right into the small, hooded figure.

  Grasping the lady by the shoulders to steady her, Kevin asked, “Whoa there. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  As Kevin stared at the bundled figure, recognition came to him. “Angela?”

  “Kevin?”

  In unison, “What are you doing here?”

  Being a gentleman, Kevin said, “You go first.”

  “I just came for the peace and quiet, and to think. How about you?”

  “The same.”

  “Odd. We both live alone, and we both came out here to think.”

  “Yeah, odd,” he agreed, covering his expression.

  “Kevin, about yesterday…”

  “No, don’t say anything. Yesterday was special. I don’t want to ruin it.”

  “So you weren’t disappointed?” she asked.

  “Disappointed? Hardly. I was thinking maybe we need to try going out again sometime.” Now what possessed him to say such a thing? Here he had been thinking about the personalities of the seven women he was married to, indebted to, and Angela popped up, and he’s asking her out? Maybe the reason he’d married so many times was because he had a problem. Yeah, that was it. He must have a mental problem. There could be no other excuse for such crazy behavior.

  Angela interrupted his thoughts, “You think so?”

  “Yeah. That’s if you’re still interested in a rogue like me.”

  Angela grinned, and Kevin offered his hand. They walked down the beach, holding hands, leaving all their worries behind. They talked of frivolities. About how her vacation was going. About what she’d done with all those fish she’d caught. About things she looked forward to doing in the future. Kevin made sure to steer the conversation away from himself. He didn’t want to answer a question and then have to lie. As they spoke, he thought about inviting her out to dinner, but before the words could leave his mouth, his cell phone vibrated.

  Kevin pulled his phone from his pocket and grimaced when he saw his home number. He’d almost forgotten all about those other women in his life. He knew them so little that they were just an afterthought, if that. He looked down at Angela’s face, and said, “I’ve got to take this.”

  “Sure.”

  Kevin walked away, leaving her standing there alone. Opening the phone and placing it to his ear, he said a timid, “Hello?”

  “Kevin, where are you?” came a female voice.

  “I went out for a drive.”

  Dana sounded aggravated. “Well, I need you to come home and watch the little ones. Leah is throwing up and I need to take her to the doctor.”

  “Where’s everyone else?”

  “They all had errands to run. I need you to come home. Now. Do you understand?”

  Dana sounded like she was talking to one of the children. Gone was her romantic, teasing voice she always used when speaking to him. Now she commanded him.

  He answered as expected. “Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  Kevin hung up and faced a waiting Angela. Her honey-colored hair held a glossy sheen in the early morning light. The fog from the water settled around her legs, giving her a mysterious appeal. When she focused her full gaze upon him and smiled, his legs trembled like jelly. Why had he just noticed her now? He’d been in her presence for years. They’d dated one time. And now when there was no possibility for them as a couple, he noticed her. Life just wasn’t fair.

  Angela saw his face as he approached, and she spoke first. “Let me guess. You have to go?”

  “Yeah. Sorry.”

  “No. I understand. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

  Kevin wanted to ask her out. He wanted to kiss her again. At this point, he wanted to propose! But things weren’t like they’d been just a few days before. So instead he said, “I’ll call you.” He jogged back toward his waiting car, glancing back only once to see her look of disappointment.

  Chapter Fifteen

  When Kevin reached the house more than an hour later, a middle-aged woman walked out the door with two-year-old Kitty on her hip. Graying hair, which his neighbor normally wore in a perfect chignon, had fallen and was now threaded with sucker sticks poking out in all directions.

  The woman thrust Kitty toward Kevin, saying, “Never again! Do you hear me! Never again! I don’t care if someone is dying. I will never watch those demons again!”

  The woman stalked across the street with her arms flailing wildly, continuing to talk to herself. She kept glancing backward over her shoulder at Kevin and repeating the words, “Never again!” He listened to her talk to herself until her door slammed shut behind her.

  Kevin looked down at his youngest daughter. Her thumb was stuck in her tiny mouth, and she held a look of complete innocence.

  “Let’s go find your brothers.”

  Kevin saw Leah’s three-year-old twins, Jackson and Parker, through the storm door as he stepped onto the sheltered stoop. They were covered from head to toe in what looked like mud. What in the world had the neighbor lady let them get into? Sighing to himself, he guessed he would need to clean them up.

  Steeling himself against the impeding torture, Kevin grasped the handle of the door and twisted, but nothing happened. He pulled and tugged, but all the door did was rattle.

  “Let Daddy in, boys.”

  Tiny hands coated in filth covered their mouths as they looked at him and giggled. Then they began running around the living room, leaving muddy handprints everywhere.

  “No, don’t touch that! Oh no, not the stereo!”

  Kevin groaned as their grubby hands flattened out against his eight hundred dollar stereo. Then they scooted a chair to the wall and stood on tiptoes. Kevin cringed as they jerked the CDs down from the shelf and began opening cases. This week alone, his prize set of music CDs had crashed to the floor, and now they were going to be covered with mud! Before the boys were finished they had left muddy print after muddy print on his precious collection.

  In between sucking her thumb, Kitty was clucking her tongue at the boys’ bad behavior. Kevin studied the door. The top part was double-paned glass and the bottom was a tightly woven screen. He thought about trying to push through the screen but decided against it. Besides, he didn’t think it would work anyway. Even if he was able to push through the bottom part of the door, he wasn’t sure he could fit through the opening.

  Kevin looked around to find another way inside. He went to the wooden gate that led to the fenced in backyard, but it was locked.

  If he could set Kitty down, he might have more success. But he was afraid to put her on the ground for fear she might run off. So with one hand wrapped around Kitty, he used his other hand to try and lift a window.

  He’d gone around the full length of the bottom floor when he heard the peal of sirens. Now what?

  As a uniformed officer approached, Kevin faced him, trying to appear non-threatening. “Ca
n I help you, officer?”

  “Yeah. We got a call about a possible break in.”

  “Well, I didn’t call.”

  “Well, I didn’t figure you did. Normally the one trying to break into a place doesn’t call the police on themselves.”

  Kevin couldn’t help but laugh, causing the officer to give him a funny look. “Oh, I’m sorry. But you see, officer, I came home to watch the kids while the wife went to the doctor, and a baby sitter met me at the door, dropped off Kitty, and left.”

  “Dropped off a kitty?”

  “No, she dropped off Kitty.”

  “I don’t see a kitty, sir. Now if you’ll be so kind as to just step away from the house and put your hands up where I can see them.”

  “No, you misunderstand. This little girl. Her name is Kitty.”

  The officer mumbled under his breath, “Kitty?” Then he said, “So, do you take your daughter to all your jobs?”

  “Now wait just a minute. I don’t appreciate what you’re insinuating. If you’ll give me just a moment, I’ll try to explain. My two boys have locked themselves inside, and I can’t get into the house to watch them. Which is why I’m trying to raise the windows.”

  “So you’re saying your kids are locked inside while you’re out here?”

  “Yes! That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

  “Hmm… Well, let’s see if they’ll open up for a man of the law.”

  Kevin followed the officer back to the storm door. He put his face up to the glass and said, “Boys, I’m Officer Bob. And I need you to open the door for me.”

  The boys came into view, and Bob looked over his shoulder, giving Kevin a thumbs up. He swiveled toward the door right in time to see a projectile headed straight for his head. He dropped to the ground as the object bounced harmlessly off the glass.

  The boys laughed uproariously as the policeman ducked and placed a hand on his waist. Kevin, afraid to make any sudden movement, said, “Umm…Officer Bob? I believe it was just a foam bullet.”

  “Yeah. I knew it,” he said, as he relaxed his defensive position.

  “You see my dilemma? They won’t open the door, and I can’t put Kitty down to climb into a window. That is if I could find one open in the first place.”

  “I’ll check the windows. You wait here with your daughter.”

  When Bob returned, he didn’t have good news. “All your windows are shut and locked.”

  “Great. What can we do now?”

  “I guess I could kick the door in.”

  “No! The door cost me four hundred dollars! Besides, what will my wives, I mean, wife say, if she comes home and there is glass everywhere and her expensive door has been destroyed?”

  The two men sat on the small, concrete porch and tried to think of a new strategy. With Kitty on his lap, Kevin heard a minute voice.

  “Daddy, I need to go pee.”

  Kevin jerked his head around. When he did so, he saw one of the twins standing at the door. He jumped up, Kitty still in his arms, and twisted around to see one of the boys pee right through the screened-in part of the door.

  Kevin stepped aside in time to miss the spray as it bounced against the porch and splattered out. But the officer wasn’t so lucky. Officer Bob glanced down at his uniform, none too happy about getting wet with the yellow fluid. The twin looked proud of himself. When he finished, he skipped back farther into the room.

  “When I get a hold of him…” Kevin didn’t finish his statement but looked at the officer and grinned.

  The door still locked, they continued to sit on the stoop, trying to think of a way inside. Maybe Kevin could climb over the back fence and get to the back door? He didn’t have a screen there, so he could just use his key and get in. The only problem was the fence was a good eight feet high. He didn’t think he could grab hold of it and pull himself over.

  Running his hand through his hair in an agitated manner, Kevin heard a noise behind him. When he shifted around, one of the twins stood there with the door wide open. Jackson held the phone cradled in his hand. Holding it out to Kevin, the twin said, “It rang.”

  Kevin jumped up, Kitty still in his arms, and grabbed the cracked door, pulling it open. The phone had stopped ringing by the time he reached the inside, and Kevin was in no mood for calls at the moment, anyway. They would just have to wait. Kevin looked at the officer and said, “Thanks for your help.”

  The officer waved and fled the scene as quickly as humanly possible. Kevin made sure the twins were inside, never letting go of the door, and followed after them. He prayed Leah and Dana came home soon. Otherwise, he might not live to see another day.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kevin found the playroom and deposited the twin terrors plus Kitty inside. Turning so he could head back to the living room, he heard Kitty yelling. Sighing deeply, he walked back over to the room. Kitty was on her back with her legs straight up in the air. She looked up at him with her sweet, innocent expression and said, “Change me.”

  Kevin felt his brow arch. Wasn’t she old enough to be going on the potty? Besides, any kid old enough to stick its legs up in the air and asked to be changed definitely was old enough for the potty.

  Kevin thought about going downstairs and letting her wait until one of the women arrived. But who knew how long it might be. Couldn’t she get a rash or something if she wore her nasty diaper too long?

  Stepping over the gate, while trying not to step on the twins, Kevin went to Kitty’s side. He couldn’t believe what he was going to have to do. Taking a deep breath, he asked her, “Where are the diapers, honey?”

  Kitty looked at him and smiled sweetly, “Change me.”

  “Yeah. That’s what I’m trying to do. But I need to know where the diapers are. Now if I was a diaper, where would I hide?”

  Kevin hunched over and walked around the room. Jackson and Parker thought he was playing a game. They kept running up to him, grabbing onto his legs and attempting to jerk him down to the floor.

  “Jackson, Parker, can you tell me where the diapers are?” The twins wrapped their arms around his legs, shrugging their tiny shoulders at the question. Okay, how many places could the diapers possibly be? Kevin walked around the room like a lumbering giant. Two parasites had leeched onto his legs, impeding his progress. Instead of continuing to struggle to move, he stood still and did a 360-degree turn, looking around the room. Ah-ha! He saw what he was looking for. Why hadn’t he noticed it before?

  Kevin bent down and picked up Kitty. It wasn’t an easy task with the extra weight, but he managed. He shuffled toward the changing table and laid Kitty atop it. Once she was in place, he opened the cabinet. It had some kind of childproof lock on it, so it took some work to figure out. Once it was opened, he looked inside and found the wet wipes and the diapers.

  When Kevin removed the diaper from Kitty, he almost fell over from the stench. What had they been feeding this kid? He tried holding his breath and closing his eyes, but then he couldn’t tell if he was cleaning her well enough. He took one deep breath and gagged, closing his mouth once more. He squinted with one eye and looked at Kitty to clean her. Her poop was a nice mustard color. It was also nice and squishy. It seemed to be in every nook and cranny she had. He worked quickly.

  While Kevin cleaned Kitty and changed her, she squirmed like a worm trying to get off a hook. How in the world did women do this all the time? The odor, the color, the squirming. He worked tirelessly. He’d never done this before, but he was a reasonably intelligent man. He could figure it out.

  When the dirty diaper came off, Kevin pinched it between his thumb and forefinger and held it out at arm’s length. The trashcan beside the table contained a plethora of plastic bags. Studying the inside of the changing table, he found what he sought. Pulling one out, he placed the dirty diaper inside a pink bag that smelled like fruit. But just one bag didn’t seem adequate for the stink. So he placed the diaper in about five different bags, making sure to tie each one separately. When the smell
of the offensive odor no longer clouded the air, Kevin dropped the diaper in the wastebasket and started applying a clean one.

  Kevin picked up Kitty’s legs and slid the plastic diaper under her bottom. He wrapped it up and around her legs just like he’d seen his sister do on her dolls when he’d been little. When at last the diaper appeared to be on, he stood Kitty on the changing table and frowned. Something didn’t look right. The diaper had fallen and was now wrapped around her tiny ankles.

  After investigating, Kevin realized he hadn’t fastened any tabs. In fact, he couldn’t find any tabs to fasten. What had happened to them? Spinning the little girl around in a circle, he saw them. He’d put the diaper on backwards!

  With a sigh, he laid Kitty back down on the table, removed the diaper, and tried again. This time Kevin paid more attention and pointed the tabs to the front. With the diaper secured, he stood Kitty up, ready to pull up her pants. But before the pants were completely up, the diaper sagged backed to the little girl’s knees.

  Now what! Laying her back down, Kevin inspected the work. It appeared the tabs were no longer sticky. Didn’t most people use a different kind of fastener? Hadn’t he seen it on TV? This must be some generic diaper. Must be all they could afford. Well it didn’t matter. The fact remained this diaper was shot and a new one was needed. Kevin removed the diaper entirely, wadded it up like a ball, and threw it into the nearby wastebasket, then retrieved another one.

  This time, he did everything right. The tabs were in the front on the first try. He pulled up Kitty’s pants and placed her on the floor, a grin splitting his face. He’d done it.

  Now Kevin needed to go downstairs and work on the living room before the women arrived home and thought he was incapable of taking care of things. Turning around to face the door, he gasped. The entire room was covered in white! It looked like it had been snowing. Or like a giant had come by and lost all his dandruff.