Time Out (Dear Lonely Guy Book 2)

by Alison Hendricks

  I didn't know what Brendan's first time had been like, but I'd missed out on that. My first time was with someone who seemed inconvenienced by my lack of experience. He hadn't been patient or gentle and I'd been sore for days after, despite telling him I would have preferred not to go all the way.

  Even my experiences with Brendan had been rushed affairs, fueled by passion and lust more than anything else. I'd deliberately kept my more tender emotions out of it, knowing if I let myself make love to him, I wouldn't be able to let him go.

  I already couldn't, and that realization was what made up my mind. If I kept on the path I was on, I was going to lose him either way. I needed to be honest with him, no matter how much it terrified me.

  Closing down Grindr, I gathered up my things and headed back out. In just the brief amount of time since I'd been home, it'd started to rain. The sidewalk was slick with it, rivulets of rainwater dripping down the windows of my car as I dropped into the driver's seat.

  It would be my first time driving in a while, but I didn't want to mess around with a Lyft. If Brendan rejected me, I needed to be my own way home so I could just lick my wounds in peace.

  Throughout the drive, I found myself thinking of what I'd even say to him. I'd managed an entire script in my head, complete with what Brendan might say in response. I rehearsed it silently as I headed up to his door, the rain coming down in sheets now, soaking through my clothes.

  I barely noticed. My nerves were so out of control that, by the time I pushed the doorbell, everything I'd wanted to say just flew out of my head. I grasped for it desperately as I heard footsteps inside, yet when Brendan opened the door, all of it was gone.

  "Jesus, Keith. You're soaked."

  I could see he wanted to let me in, but there was a wariness in his eyes. As much as it hurt, I was glad for it. If I was allowed in, I might just throw myself at him. I needed to talk. God help me, I needed to actually articulate my feelings.

  "I'm not interested in just hooking up with you," I blurted out.

  His lips parted, but he said nothing. That wariness was still in his eyes--still keeping me at a distance to protect his own feelings. I didn't blame him one bit.

  "I've never wanted that," I admitted. "I pushed for it because I was convinced it was all I could have. I was... am terrified that you're going to leave again. And, if I let myself feel the way I did back then..."

  My eyes lifted to his. I could feel the sting of tears in them, and saw that Brendan noticed them, too.

  "I don't think I could take it, Bren. It would shatter me."

  "I'm not going anywhere," he said, a desperate edge to his voice, "as long as you don't push my away."

  He started to reach for me, but I took a step back. The moment he touched me, I'd lose my resolve.

  "I need you to understand me. I need you to understand what you're getting into with me."

  "Then tell me," he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

  He hadn't thrown me out yet. The way he was looking at me, I didn't think he would. The words still caught in my throat. I was subjected to the taste of them, almost bittersweet as they rested on the tip of my tongue for the first time in years.

  Finally, after a decade of waiting, of letting them tear me apart from the inside out, I put them out into the world.

  "I don't want to just meet you for the occasional hookup because... you're too important to me for this to ever stay casual." Drawing in a deep breath, I let the last of my defenses go and just... said it, for better or worse:

  "I love you, Brendan. I've always loved you, and part of me always will."

  21

  Brendan

  I love you.

  How long had I waited to hear those words from him? How desperately had I looked for them in other people, knowing it wouldn't be enough? That the only man I ever wanted to say them was the one I thought I'd lost years ago?

  It almost didn't feel real. I was positive I was going to wake up and find it was all just a bittersweet dream. Yet the sound of the rain hitting my roof was real. The near-shivering Keith, soaked to the bone, was real. The swell in my chest that threatened to suffocate me in the best possible way... that was real, too.

  As he stared back at me, his eyes wide and vulnerable, I knew what I needed to do--what I needed to say.

  "I love you, too." I reached up and framed his face with my hands. "I did back then, and I never stopped. Every relationship I've been in since then, it's just felt... hollow."

  He let out a shuddering breath, his eyes glistening with tears. This time, when I pulled him to me, he didn't step away. I kissed him hard at first, an overwhelming surge of love and passion fueling me. I could taste the rain on his lips, could feel the cool droplets against my cheek, and I relished every sensation.

  Even when I felt Keith's choked sob against my mouth. He tried to pull back, looking away from me.

  "Sorry, I--"

  I bridged the distance between us and brushed my lips across his once more. "Why don't you come in out of the rain?"

  I hoped he knew what I was asking and why. He'd said he didn't want to be my hookup, and I didn't want to be his. But I'd be damned if I let him just head back to his own apartment tonight, not when there was so much between us now that could be openly expressed. Not when I could be myself and feel what I knew in my heart was right instead of burying it deep inside and focusing on the physical.

  My hands moved down to his waist and I walked him backwards into my foyer. Keith had the presence of mind to close the door, but once he did, I brought our bodies flush together and kissed him again. I explored his mouth languidly, thoroughly, my tongue sweeping past the seam of his lips. I let out a soft groan as I tasted him, feeling him melt against me, especially pliant tonight.

  Would it be like this the whole time? Keith had hardly been resistant before, but there was an obvious trust barrier there. He'd been willing to let me fuck him, just nothing more. No real connection. No true intimacy.

  If he would have me, tonight I intended to change all of that between us.

  "I want you," I murmured, my fingers looping into his jeans, pulling him with me as I stepped backward. "All of you."

  "Twist my arm, why don't you," he said with a choked laugh.

  I smirked at him, releasing him just long enough to pull my shirt over my head and discard it. I intended to have him in the bedroom, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to take every opportunity to make the process more streamlined.

  Especially since I really did need to get Keith out of his wet clothes.

  My hands went to the buttons of his shirt as I kissed him again, a soft moan rumbling through me. I had to practically peel the fabric away from his skin, and once I slid it off his shoulders, I was left with the dilemma of what to do with it.

  "You can't just drop that on your floor," he said with a laugh. "Dude. Gross."

  "Hold on, I've got it." Balling up the shirt, I leaned back and aimed for the kitchen. It landed with a fat, wet squelch on the linoleum. "There. Problem solved."

  Keith burst into laughter, bringing a grin to my lips.

  "What? That not enough of a Boy Scout solution to you?" I asked, my hands running over his bare back.

  Keith shivered, his own fingers tracing over the lines of my pecs. There was a glint in his eyes, his more mischievous side coming out. I realized it seconds too late, as his nails raked down my chest, pulling a deep moan from me.

  "Somehow, I don't think this was in the handbook." His hands slid around me, gliding down to my lower back, gripping my ass. He pulled me to him and I could already feel the hard line of his dick.

  "Guess we'll have to write our own," I murmured before claiming his mouth again.

  We stumbled toward the stairs, with Keith able to pull off his wet, squeaky shoes thanks to the support of my couch. I shucked off the sweatpants I'd been wearing, leaving me in a pair of tight boxer briefs that were already tented.

  "You going to be okay to make it up these?" I
asked.

  "Why, are you offering to carry me again?" There was a wicked gleam in his eye, but he grabbed on to the railing and started to walk up, a little swing in his hips.

  For as much as I wanted to go slow and explore him, his little taunts were still enough to drive me crazy. I followed him up, one arm looping around his waist. He let out a surprised yelp as I pulled him to me, his body braced against me. I kissed his neck, sucking at the cord of muscle there, a shiver racing through me when he moaned. One of my hands smoothed over the planes of his chest while the other caressed the front of his jeans, rubbing over his bulge.

  "Careful, or we won't make it off these stairs," he said, panting.

  Tantalizing images flashed through my mind, and there was one I couldn't resist. I undid the button of his jeans and slid down his fly, then started the arduous process of peeling that fabric off of him. It wanted to cling on, and I had to practically roll it down, with his underwear included.

  Keith laughed, shimmying his hips in effort to help. I turned him toward me, tugging his pants down enough to free his cock, getting the fabric past his knees before I gave in.

  Stepping back so I was down a couple stairs from him, I leaned over and gripped his cock, licking a hot, wet stripe from his balls to the tip. Keith moaned, grabbing on to the railing on either side as I teased the crown, sliding my lips around it and sucking.

  "Take a seat on the stairs," I urged, helping him sit down while I adjusted my position again.

  His jeans were tangled about his ankles, but neither of us cared. I licked and sucked the head of his cock, paying special attention to the underside, holding my tongue against the pulsing vein. At one point, I held my mouth still, gaze casting up at him. Keith got the picture and started to thrust into my mouth, his cock sliding deeper in until I could feel it tickle the back of my throat.

  When he started to pant and huff, I moved to a standing position and settled myself above him, crouching down to feed him my own cock, pulled free from my briefs. His talented tongue swirled around the head of my cock, his lips pressed firmly beneath the crown, and when he took me into his mouth, he did so in one impressive motion. His lips clamped around the base of my cock and he held me there, drawing a deep moan from me.

  "Fuck..."

  Drawing back with a gasp, Keith's own gaze met mine and I started to thrust into his mouth. The leverage of the stairs gave me more power than I would have normally had, and I used it to give Keith just as much as he could tolerate, the head of my cock bumping against the back of his throat over and over.

  When I pulled free, my dick was covered in his saliva, glistening in the low light.

  "Fuck," I hissed again, stroking myself. "I wanted this to last, but I don't know how long I can wait. Let's get upstairs."

  I helped him to his feet, drawing him into a searing kiss before we continued up the stairs. My hands were all over him, his all over me. He pushed me back against the wall and sank to his knees before me, apparently deciding he wasn't done sucking me off. My head fell back and I moaned, thrusting into his mouth again, leaning over him to rub his cheeks, my finger sliding inward and tracing around his hole.

  After he took me all the way to the root again, I pulled him back and to his feet, kissing him breathlessly.

  "I'm negative," he said against my mouth, panting. "I was tested last month, and I've only been with you since."

  I knew what he was saying, and a shudder wracked my body at the thought of sliding into his tight ass with nothing between us. I had no problem with condoms but, there was something about the idea of having him bare that appealed to a more carnal side of me.

  "So am I," I breathed as I maneuvered us both into my bedroom, kissing him all the while.

  He'd managed to kick out of his jeans, and my boxer briefs slid further and further down my legs until they pooled at my ankles. We'd barely made it to my room, were still a couple feet from the bed, and already I wanted to bury myself inside of him.

  Pushing Keith down on the bed, I held his ass up in the air, his legs angled toward his head to give me a clear view of his lovely hole. I dove in, eagerly lapping at his sensitive flesh, sliding my tongue into him. Keith moaned and squirmed, pushing back against me, driving my tongue in deeper as I got him ready to take my cock.

  "God, you taste so fucking good," I told him, moaning as I tongued at his hole, teasing around the outside of it, before thrusting in again.

  "Need you," he whined, his abdomen muscles clenching as I hit a particularly sensitive spot. "Please, Bren. Please fuck me."

  There was no way I could deny him at this point. Standing straight, I reached for the lube on my bedside table and pumped a generous amount into my hand, stroking over my cock. I drizzled even more along his crack, rubbing it into his hole until he was nice and slick for me.

  "You're sure you want me like this?" I asked, positioning myself between his legs, the head of my dick sliding up his taint and teasing his hole.

  Keith writhed, pushing back against me to try and take me in. "Fuck yes. Fuck me."

  Pulling him to the edge of the bed, I rested his legs against my chest and lined myself up. My hand came around the base of my cock and I rubbed the head over his needy hole, pushing it in before pulling back out, just giving him a taste.

  Once he was squirming--and once I started panting from the effort--I gave in. Pushing forward slowly, I slid my cock into him inch by inch. He took me easily at first, the smallest hint of resistance before I pushed past that tight ring of muscle. He was ready for me, his body relaxed, the lube putting in enough work to make me feel comfortable seating myself inside of him until our bodies were flush.

  Stars practically exploded behind my eyelids, a moan pulling from me that was loud enough to shake the walls of my bedroom. Keith's joined it in a sweet symphony, his head thrown back, the whites of his eyes visible.

  "Fuck, you feel so good, baby."

  When I started to move inside of him, that feeling of bliss only intensified. There was something about the slide of his tight, hot flesh against mine that drove me absolutely wild. I could feel every aspect of him, and I knew he could feel me just as well. As much as I wanted to fuck him, I kept my movements slow at first, reveling in that amazing sensation.

  Eventually, I couldn't contain myself anymore. I started to thrust in earnest, my thighs slapping against his. Keith moaned and whined, pushing back against me, giving just as good as he got. His hand moved to his own cock, stroking in a frenzy. I batted him aside after a moment and took over, pulling upward in strokes that matched my thrusting.

  I could have easily fucked him until we were both coming, his ass clenching around me and milking every last drop from my dick, but I wanted a more intimate connection. I pulled free of him just long enough to scooch him back on the bed. Keith whimpered in protest, but he seemed to understand what I was after. I climbed on after him, positioning myself again before I slid into him in one smooth motion.

  This time as I fucked him, I leaned down over him, my elbows resting on either side of him, one of my hands cradling his head. I kissed him, a messy, uncoordinated kiss that felt absolutely vital as I rocked into him, getting closer and closer. His cock rubbed against my stomach as I fucked him, and I could only hope that would be enough friction to get him there.

  As it turned out, I didn't need to worry. Keith's body tensed and he cried out, his moan stuttered. His cock shot between us, painting my abdomen in his cum. I kept thrusting all the while, desperate to feel him squeeze around me. When he did, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold out.

  I tried to pull back, not knowing if he was okay with me coming inside of him. Keith realized what I was doing and his legs hooked around my waist, heels digging into my cheeks. He held me there with an iron grip, and that was enough to send me over the edge. I let out a hoarse moan against his mouth, my body shuddering, hips jerking against him. My dick pulsed inside of him, flooding him with spurts of my cum as orgasm overtook me.

  Once
it was over, I lay atop him, most of my weight pressing down on him. I felt boneless, a bone-deep satisfaction settling over me. I kissed him languidly, still rocking inside of him even as my cock began to soften.

  "God, that was amazing," Keith panted, still trying to catch his breath.

  "You were amazing," I murmured, drawing him into another kiss. I pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, needing him to see me as I said again, "I love you, Keith. So fucking much."

  There were tears in his eyes, a couple even escaping from the corners as he answered. "I love you, too."

  I kissed him again, thoroughly exhausted in every sense of the word, but I knew it wouldn't be long until I had a second wind. I intended to make the most of our newfound connection, reinforcing that love as many times as we could stand.

  22

  Keith

  Getting to call Brendan my actual, honest-to-God boyfriend felt so surreal, and yet so... right.

  It was like it was always meant to be that way. Back when we were kids, there was an expectation that our friendship was infinite. It would always exist and anyone who asked it about it was blind if they didn't see what was there. I felt the same way about our budding relationship. It was the first time I'd given love a fair shot--the first time I'd wanted to. In that way, it was fifty different kinds of foreign to me, but in every other way it was just an extension of what we'd already been to each other.

  The people who knew us best weren't all that surprised. I told Tina first, because of course I did. I actually texted her while Brendan was in the shower, and she FaceTimed me to squeal without the hindrance of text. I hid my face under the pillows, blushing all the while, until Brendan came out of the shower. Thankfully with a towel around his waist, for his sake. Neither Tina or I would have minded.

  She suggested we all go out sometime during the week, and Brendan was all for the idea. Apparently, the Alachua County Fair was back in town, and the two of them conspired while I lay helplessly in bed, my protests weak but definitely unheard. They hooked Elliot and Reuben in on it, too, and the five of us--plus one if Tina was able to find a date--made plans to head to the fairgrounds on Saturday night.