The Nasty Vamp

by Gail Koger

  The bartender swung his bat at my head.

  I ducked and he cracked some poor drunk right in the kisser.

  His equally drunk buddies took exception to this and a brawl erupted.

  Dodging flying chairs, beer bottles and fists, I scurried behind the bar and noticed the peanuts. My stomach growled loudly. Grabbing a handful, I helped myself to a beer and watched one hell of a fight.

  Bambi stomped across the stage and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Are you blind? My girls are beautiful, firm and perky!”

  Some idiot shouted back, “Take a look in the mirror, bitch. Perky, they ain’t.”

  And it was like some switch got flipped, Bambi waded into the fight and literally cleaned house.

  Within five minutes groaning combatants littered the floor. Bambi had a wicked right hook and her stilettos should be considered a lethal weapon.

  The double doors flew open and in stepped Deacon. His face was a weird blend of wolf and man with sharp pointy teeth and hoo boy, a really big dick. His deadly gaze surveyed the battered and bleeding men before locking on me.

  I waved at him all friendly like. “Nice equipment.”

  “I’ve got her,” Deacon growled into his cell phone and started for me.

  Where the heck did he stick that thing? On second thought I didn’t want to know. I yelled at Bambi, “Hey cousin, the hairy guy thinks your boobs are pretty damned pitiful, too.”

  Bambi hit him over the head with a table.

  Deacon staggered and went down on one knee.

  Bambi hit him again and he collapsed to the floor.

  “Why don’t you fight vamps like that?”

  “They don’t piss me off.”

  I stared at her for a long moment. She was joking, right? Oh God, she wasn’t.

  Sirens sounded in the distance.

  “Let’s go. Your mom will be pissed if you get arrested again.” I scooped up another handful of nuts and stuffed them in my mouth.

  A familiar voice snapped, “You’re not going anywhere, sweetling.”

  Inhaling sharply, I promptly choked on the nuts and fought to breathe. Help!

  Ian wrapped his powerful arms around my waist and his fist quickly thrust upward, expelling the nuts.

  Coughing violently, I managed to suck in a lungful of air and another and another.

  McGregor set me on the bar and his big hands moved over my body checking for any new injuries. “How you’ve survived this long is a mystery.”

  Smacking at his hands, I hacked up another nut and rasped, “Guess I’m lucky. I mean how many vampires know how to do the Heimlich maneuver?”

  The nasty vamp glowered at me and yanked the Shivait amulet off my neck.

  “Hey! Give that back, it’ll keep Dominic from finding me.”

  McGregor slid it in his pocket. “I found you and so will he.”

  “But…” In the fractured mirror I saw Bambi sneaking up behind Ian with the baseball bat. Guess he was on her naughty list.

  Bambi swung.

  Moving faster than the eye could follow Fang Boy spun around and jerked the bat out of her hand. “Cover yourself woman,” Ian commanded, his disgust evident

  The little princess thrust her girls out. “My breasts are bigger than hers. I’m prettier than her. Why don’t you want me? I’m a good fuck.”

  “Geezus, have some pride, cousin.”

  “You’re a whore, I don’t fuck whores,” McGregor said cruelly.

  Sometimes men could be so freakin’ stupid. It was God’s way of evening the playing field.

  With a furious hiss, Bambi launched herself at him and tried to claw his eyes out.

  McGregor grabbed a handful of her hair, spun her like a top and threw her across the bar. Right smack dab into Deacon as he climbed to his feet and down they went in a tangle of arms and legs.

  I looked at the chunks of Bambi’s hair littering the bar and grinned. Boy was she going to be pissed.

  “What are you grinning about?”

  A chair slammed into the nasty vamp’s head, knocking him down.

  “Did I happen to mention how vain Bambi is?”

  A killing rage simmering in his eyes, McGregor stood and growled, “No.”

  “Well, she is,” I held up her hair, “and you just gave her a nice bald spot.”

  Bambi felt the top of her head and a primal scream tore from her. A second later furniture started flying.

  McGregor shoved me behind the bar as a barrage of tables and chairs slammed into him. With a furious growl he vanished and an instant later Bambi shrieked in pain.

  I took a quick peek. Ian had her by the hair again and was whirling her over his head like a lasso. Around and around and around she went. Poor thing was going to be completely bald by the time he was done with her.

  My cell phone vibrated madly. I pulled it out and examined the screen. Dammit, Bernie had set off his emergency beacon. I bolted out the back door.

  Running again, sweetling?

  Bernie needs my help. I assembled my crossbow as I trotted down the alley.

  Bernie?

  Was that a hint of jealousy in his voice? Nah, couldn’t be, could it? Bambi’s new Alfred.

  Holy shit! I skidded to a stop and fitted an arrow into my bow. A skinny female vamp wearing an itty-bitty mini skirt had a very naked Bernie pinned on the hood of a car, her fangs buried in his jutting cock.

  Bernie moaned and twitched spasmodically.

  Ewww, death by orgasm? I shot her and she exploded in a cloud of black ash.

  Bernie bucked wildly against the car and ejaculated.

  Oh swell. I pulled the first aid kit off my belt and eyed his bloody penis and the sperm dripping off the hood. Maybe I should just call 9-1-1.

  A low growl sounded in my head. Touch his cock and I will kill him.

  Okey-dokey the paramedics it is.

  Ian cursed and in my mind’s eye I could see Bambi clinging to his back like a monkey and yanking wildly at his hair.

  Muffled laughter sounded above me. I looked up and there was Hennessey’s paparazzi crew. I flipped them off. The assholes hadn’t made any attempt to help Bernie.

  My psychic senses went on red alert. I spun around and cursed. Less than two feet away stood a vampire in a flowing black cape. I blinked. The guy was a dead ringer for Bela Lugosi. You know the actor who played Dracula way back in 1920?

  I quickly fit another arrow in my crossbow and fired.

  Dracula caught it and crumbled it into tiny little pieces.

  Terrific. Another master vamp.

  “You must be the one,” he lisped.

  I lisped back, “And you must be Dracula.”

  He bared his yellowed fangs at me and hissed like a cat.

  Geezus. I took a step back. His breath could give blood fiends a run for their money.

  Dracula pulled his cape up under his nose and commanded, “Look into my eyes.”

  “You’ve been watching way too many vampire movies buddy.”

  Bernie rolled off the hood and hit the pavement with a loud smack.

  Dracula narrowed his eyes and scanned the alley. “Where is Verina?”

  “You mean the skinny bitch in the mini skirt?” I carefully dropped a Big Bertha, my super duper UV bomb, on the ground and backed slowly down the alley.

  “Yeth.”

  I slid my sunglasses on. “She’s dead, just like you’re gonna be.” I hit the timer on my cell phone and kaboom! Big Bertha blew.

  The fireworks died away and a crispy fried Dracula stood glaring at me.

  Oh hell.

  He took a step and pieces of his charred flesh fell away to reveal the bone underneath.

  Yuck, kinda reminded me of that Imhotep dude from The Mummy.

  A furious roar echoed off the alley walls and the next thing I knew I was smacking face first into a big metal dumpster. Pretty little sparkling lights danced across my vision and pain lanced down my left arm. Help!

  McGregor’s power flowed into m
e. I’m coming.

  Fingers bit painfully into my neck as Dracula lifted me up to eye level. “I will enjoy your screams.”

  “Go to hell.” My hand closed around Mister Pointy and drawing heavily on McGregor’s power, I drove it into his still smoking chest.

  There was fleeting look of astonishment in his eyes before he exploded in a cloud of black dust.

  I hit the pavement and gasped as agony rolled over me. Fuck. My arm was broken. I swiped at the blood running into my eyes and winced as my ribs screamed in protest. My cell phone quivered against my stomach.

  Using my good hand, I pulled it out. “Hello?”

  My aunt’s strident voice bellowed, “You ungrateful bitch.”

  “What?”

  “After all I’ve done for you. You deliberately put my baby at risk so you could become a Vegas showgirl?”

  My radar went on red alert. Two more master vamps were heading my way and where the hell was McGregor? Wait a minute. When had I started relying on Fang Boy?

  “Well, do you have anything to say for yourself?”

  “Gotta go.” The alley spun in a nauseating blur as I fought to get to my feet. My strength vanished and I slumped against the hot asphalt, fighting to stay conscious.

  Ian growled his displeasure. You’re ability to find trouble is astounding.

  It’s a gift. The vampires were getting closer. Is there some kind of master vampire convention in town?

  They’re here for you.

  Shit, the stupid bounty. Prying my eyes open, I watched as two big vampires wearing long black dusters and rhinestone-covered cowboy hats strolled up to me. Yee-haw.

  “It’s her all right,” the first wannabe cowboy commented.

  The second rhinestone cowboy nodded and spat a wad of chewing tobacco on the ground. “Yep. If Dominic wasn’t offering a five million bounty, I’d keep her as a blood slave.”

  Five million?

  McGregor popped in behind them with his sword held ready. “The woman is mine.”

  The cowboys spun around and swords seemed to magically appear in their hands.

  “Leave now and I’ll let you live,” McGregor declared, his tone one of barely leashed violence.

  The idiot cowboys attempted to beat him away with a series of savage cuts.

  Their blades clashed violently as McGregor easily countered their blows.

  My view of the nasty vamp’s dazzling display of swordsmanship was suddenly blocked by a big black dog. “Go away, you mangy mutt.”

  The dog totally ignored me, sank his lethal teeth into my vest and began dragging me down the alley. “Hey! Let go.”

  The mangy mutt kept dragging me. I smacked at it clumsily. “Bad doggie. Spit! I’m not a play pretty.”

  The bad doggie growled.

  I knew that growl. “Ben?”

  He woofed and dragged me further away from the fight.

  “I’m really sorry about your bikes.”

  The wolf began to twist and contort, skin replaced fur and presto! A very naked Ben stood there. “You’re a menace.”

  I yelped as his hand closed over my broken arm. “Careful. I busted it and some ribs.”

  My Alpha squatted down, pulled the first aid kit off my utility belt and wiped the blood off my face. “Who did this?”

  “Dracula,” I answered, trying hard to ignore his dangly bits.

  His eyebrows shot up. “Dracula? The Dracula?”

  “Yep, not to worry. I turned him into a crispy critter.”

  “Did you now?” His dangly bits bobbed in front of my face.

  Fighting back the urge to giggle hysterically, I added, “Yeah and boy was he pissed. I had to use Mister Pointy to finish off the creep.”

  “If Ian’s smart, he’ll lock you up.”

  An agonized scream echoed down the alley.

  I tried to sit up. “McGregor!”

  Ben held me down easily. “He doesn’t need your help.”

  “You’re positive?”

  “Very.”

  Sure enough McGregor popped in without a scratch on him. “How badly is she hurt?”

  My Alpha responded, “Broken arm, a concussion, cracked ribs and a nice head laceration.”

  “Yeah, but I killed Dracula.”

  McGregor carefully lifted me. “That wasn’t Dracula.”

  “Bummer.” I closed my eyes and snuggled into his chest with a sigh. My eyes flew open. What the hell was wrong with me? I wasn’t safe with him.

  “I’ll gather the pack and meet you back at Sanctuary,” Ben said and transformed back into the wolf.

  McGregor launched us into the air and hurricane strength winds tore at me. Could you slow it down at bit?

  No. Dominic’s plane landed ten minutes ago.

  So?

  The mating ceremony must be completed before he finds you.

  Cold horror rolled over me. Oh dear God, he couldn’t mean. Us? Mating ceremony!?

  Aye.

  But…You don’t want to be stuck with me for all eternity do you? I drive you nuts.

  You are mine. His tone was implacable, possessive.

  Panic cramped my stomach. There had to be a way to stop this. Once the ceremony was completed I would belong to him, mind, body and soul. There would be no escape. I’d need his touch, his blood to survive. I wriggled frantically. I won’t do it.

  You have no choice. His grip shifted. Pain blasted through me and everything went black.

  Chapter Seven

  I awoke with a titanic headache, blurred vision and the instant realization that things weren’t going too well. My mind spun madly. There was something I had to stop. But what? Why couldn’t I remember? What’s going on? What happened?

  A callused hand gently stroked my face. Shhhh, you’re safe.

  Strong arms wrapped around me protectively and blood dribbled into my mouth. I need you to drink, sweetling.

  I swallowed the blood obediently, sighing as the throbbing pain in my head and arm floated away. The fog began to clear from my mind. McGregor?

  Aye.

  Why was I naked and covered in blood? Memory returned with a vengeance. Holy shit! I had to get far, far away from him.

  Ian gave me a grim smile. “I’m in your head. I know your every thought, your every plan.”

  That sucked. “You’re making a really big mistake.”

  “Am I?”

  “Hell, yeah. Isobel said you had a hard on for some vamp named Vanessa. Take her as your mate.”

  “She lacks your talents.”

  Huh? Was he talking about my psychic abilities? I flexed my left arm. Damn, good as new. “I promise I’ll help you track that monster Alpin down. I want him dead as much as you do. There’s no need for such drastic actions.”

  “Oh, but there is.”

  “I’m trouble. You want someone who’ll obey your every command. That’s not me. Did you forget that I blew up all those cars and skunked the Shelby?”