by Silla Webb
“Okay, calm down, toots, what’s got your panties all bunched up? I was just kiddin’. I could
tell you’re upset when we talked on the phone, so tell me what’s botherin’ ya.” Savannah pleads. Taking a deep breath, I pick up my menu, and choose my dessert, trying to put off this vent session. There is so damn much going on with me, I really don’t know where to begin, and I’m scared once I start, I’ll not stop. Calling the waitress over, we order dessert. I take a deep breath and begin.
“Okay, you know this is all a big change for me, Daddy passing, moving back home, and taking over the business.” Savannah nods, willing me to continue. “It’s a lot to take on, but I can handle it. What’s really bothering me is Colton Weston. I had no clue that he still worked at Simon Energy. Even that, I can deal with. But he is the damn Superintendent, now. His office is just right down the hall from mine, and I have to interact with him every day. The bastard is relentless. He came over last night, unannounced. He says there is some things we need to discuss, and he wants us to work through it all, and get back together, but I,” just then, Savannah spews tea from her mouth, surely in shock.
Wiping my face, I shoot her a ‘what the hell’ look.
“Carly, oh shit, this is big, like real frickin’ big!!! What did you say?” Savannah asks.
“I didn’t know what to say. Savannah, you have no idea how bad he hurt me. He left me broken, and I’m scared if I uncage my heart, he’ll crumble me this time.”
Just as I finish my sentence, the waitress is serving us our dessert. By now, my stomach is a shaking mess, so I just pick around at the plate, completely uninterested in the delectable peanut butter fudge cheesecake that sits before me.
“Carly Jo, you’ve barely touched your cheesecake, now I know shit just got real! So tell me, what are you gonna do?”
“Hell, that’s what I need your help with! I don’t know what to do. I never moved on after Colton broke my heart, but I don’t know that I can trust him. I want to, but I’m not sure I should.” I yell in frustration.
“What’s your heart tellin’ ya?”
I sit there for a moment, thinking. I hadn’t even considered what my heart wants. I just know that my brain is sending me mixed signals of fear, excitement, happiness, lust. “I just want to feel whole again. To be completely honest, if I’d never came home, I would have been content loving him from a distance, because I’ve dealt with a shattered heart this long. But now that I see him every day, I just don’t know that I can resist being without him. Colton is the only man I’ve ever known, the only man I want.”
“Wait, do you mean to tell me you haven’t been with anyone since Colton?” Savannah asks, with a puzzled look on her face. I blush at my admission, and nod.
“Oh, Carly, honey why? Has it been that hard to move on?”
I can hear the pity in Savannah’s voice, but it is so hard to explain to anyone the heartache I suffered when Colton let me go. I experienced so much loss, in such a short amount of time, and at such a young age. It was just hard to recover. I’ve moved on in so many ways in my life, but I never recovered from the shattered heart Colton Weston left me with. He was my first love, and will forever be embedded deep within my soul.
“I love him, Savannah. Colton has always held the key to my heart, and although he broke it, the shattered shards are only his to piece back together. As hard as it is going to be to hear whatever he needs to reveal, I guess I need to hear the truth so hopefully we can heal together, as one. I’m tired of being alone.”
Finally, I’m able to be honest with myself, but I’m still scared shitless. I still harbor the dark secret of the pregnancy. Nobody knows I was pregnant besides Daddy, and he took that secret to the grave with him. Colton deserves to know, but damn, it’s such a sorrowful memory that I don’t want to dredge it up.
“Talk to that man. You know he never stopped asking about you. Every time I would see him, he would ask if I’d talked to you. You would think he would have realized after a while, that you just wanted to be left alone, but he still clung on to hope that you’d find your way home.” Savannah and her damn mothering ways. I know she’s right.
We finish up our lunch, just in time for Savannah to leave to pick the kids up from school. We hug and say our goodbyes. I’ve missed my big sister, and I’m glad I have her wisdom to rely on when my heart and head play games. Now, if I can just gather the strength to approach Colton, without faltering.
After leaving the Village Diner, I decide to come home and go through the rest of Daddy’s things, since Colton interrupted me last night. My day was wasted with worry about seeing Colton again, and what may come of our relationship. I always resort to cleaning when I’m stressed out. Besides, the faster I can get Daddy’s things out of the house, the faster my heart can heal from losing him. I can’t stand looking at his belongings every day. I’m not exactly sure how my heart still beats, its broken in so many ways.
In the bedroom, I begin bagging up the contents I pulled from the closets and drawers last night. When I am done there, I open the closet to double check that I haven’t missed anything. The chest. Shit, I got so wrapped up in Colton’s visit last night, I forgot about finding the key. Where did I look last? Oh yeah, Daddy’s office.
I enter the dark room, and walk over to the desk to click on the lamp, then begin my search. I turn over every book on the book shelf, open every drawer in the desk, look in the back of every picture frame, look in the safe and still come up empty handed. What the hell! Think Carly, where would Daddy leave a key to a chest he never wanted opened? Hmmmm, I think long and hard, and come up with nothing. I go back to the bedroom, and take one last look at the lock. Aha! Genius moment!
Racing down the stairs, I run out to the garage in search of Daddy’s bolt cutters. Now I ain’t got a damn clue what these look like, nor how to use them, but I’m one smart bitch, so I can figure it out. I tear apart the tool cabinet before finally settling on what I think would be bolt cutters. Just as I make it out of the garage and begin up the stairs, the doorbell rings. I look down at my watch, five-thirty. Damn! I take one long deep breath, and exhale it slowly.
I walk over to the front door, and open it up, only to unveil the face I have been longing, yet terrified to see. Colton. When our eyes lock, a grin spreads wide across his beautiful face. Without invitation, he walks inside, shutting the door behind him. I take two steps back, trying to put some space between the two of us, but just as I do, he wraps his hand around my tiny wrist, and pulls me toward him. I succumb to him, and rest my head upon his rock hard chest. With one deep inhale, I’m enveloped by the scent of Colton. It has never changed. Mmm, he smells of a fresh ocean breeze. I nestle my head deep within his chest, enjoying the euphoric high I feel being wrapped up tight in Colton’s arms.
He lifts my chin with his finger and swiftly kisses me softly on the lips, then whispers, “Plannin’ on beatin’ my ass with bolt cutters, huh?” I look down, and giggle. I had completely forgotten the task at hand, simply by seeing Colton’s devilishly handsome face.
“No, actually I need to cut a lock off of a chest upstairs, but you distracted me.”
“Sorry, baby, you just worried me when you didn’t come back to the office today. So I wanted to stop by and check on ya. Are ya feelin’ okay?” Colton asks sincerely.
“I’m fine, just needed to clear my head, so I met Savannah for lunch.”
Colton senses my tension, and begins to pepper kisses my all over my forehead. “Carly Jo, I’m here, when you’re ready to talk. Anytime, day or night. But just remember, I always get what I want, so you may as well stop pushin’ me away. Just let me in.”
I pull away from his embrace, and smile up at him. Damn, he is so beautiful. “I know. I’m just scared.” I whisper. Colton smiles back at me, takes the bolt cutter from my hand and leads me up the stairs.
“Okay sweetheart, just what do you plan to open with these?” he asks. I walk him over to the closet and show him the chest. He loo
ks down at it for a minute, while rubbing his chiseled chin. Turning to me, he releases a deep huff and asks, “Where’s the key?”
“If I had the key, I wouldn’t need bolt cutters, dumbass.” I roll my eyes at him, and he chuckles back at my smart ass remark. “I’ve never seen this chest before, and I want to know what’s in it.”
“Darlin’, are you sure you want to go plunderin’? It aint’ any of my business, but you know how Big John was. Chances are, if he hid the key, he didn’t want anyone gettin’ in this.”
“Well he ain’t here to voice his damned opinion, so pop the damn lock, or move out of my way so I can do it!” I yell at him. He chuckles a deep laugh.
Squatting down he pulls the chest from the closet to the middle of the bedroom floor. With one swift flex of his thick, strong arms, the lock snaps and drops to the floor. Oh heavens, watching his rugged strength sends a tingling, warm sensation deep to my core.
Colton stands, and backs out of the way, willing me to open the lid to the heavy oak chest. Immediately, I begin chewing on my lower lip as nerves rattle through me.
“Carly Jo, just because the lock is broke, doesn’t mean you have to open it up.” Colton says. I look up at him behind nervous eyes and nod. He takes my hand in his, and pulls me from the bedroom.
“You can plunder later Capt’n, but right now, you’re gonna sit your ass down, and listen to what I have to say, and I ain’t takin’ no for an answer.”
Chapter 9
Colton
I pull Carly Jo down the steps behind me, with her fingers laced in mine. My body trembles with fear as I prepare my inner demons to be unleashed. There is no backin’ out now. If I want my forever with Carly Jo, it’s time to man up and lay all of the cards on the table.
I guide her into the livin’ room, and pull us both down on the couch. I keep my arm tight around her shoulders for a few minutes, as I try to steady my heart. Carly Jo turns to me, with a sorrowful look in her eyes. She looks defeated, and I ain’t even begun.
“Darlin’, I never stopped lovin’ you. I never fell out of love with you. None of that means I didn’t make mistakes. Hell, I was a stupid bastard, but I want to tell you my side of the story, so we can rebuild our relationship.” Just as I’m beginnin’ my confession, my cell phone rings, interruptin’ me. I glance at the screen, and excuse myself so I can take the call. A few minutes later, I return to the livin’ room.
“Hey, how about you join me for supper tonight with my parents? Momma’s been cookin’ all day, and they’d love to see you. “
“No thanks, I’ll just have something here.”
“Woman, just get your shoes on and get your ass in the truck. You know how persistent Emily Weston is, if you don’t show up, she’ll drive over here and expect an explanation. Besides, it’s actually better this way.”
Releasin’ a heavy huff, she laces up her shoes, and walks out to my truck. The drive is silent and nerve wrackin’. Within ten minutes, we pull up to my parents’ home. I shut off the engine to the truck, hop out and walk around to open the door for her. As she gets out, I lace her fingers within mine, and pull her toward me. I tilt her chin up, so I can look deep into her beautiful hazel eyes.
“After supper, we’re talkin’, no exceptions. For now, promise me that whatever happens this evenin’, you just roll with it. Promise me you won’t lose your shit.”
“Well now that scares me. What makes you think I’m gonna,” Carly Jo trails off as she hears the front door open and the bubbly voice of the one lady who holds my heart safely, and loves me unconditionally.
“Daddy! Daddy! I’m so glad you’re home! I’ve missed you, Daddy!” Heidi Jo shrills as she jumps into my arms and hugs my neck tight. I swing her around, like I always do and she lets out a heart-warmin’ giggle. As I turn to set Heidi Jo down on the ground, I notice the reaction on Carly Jo’s face. She is as white as a ghost, and I’m fairly sure her spirit has completely died and gone to heaven. She looked broken before, but now she looks empty.
I whisper to Heidi Jo and a sweet smile spreads across her adorable face. She nods, then walks over to Carly Jo, and wraps her tiny arms around Carly Jo’s waist. “Hi, Ms. Carly Jo. My name is Heidi Jo Weston. My daddy talks about you all the time. Come on inside, Mamaw is cookin’ supper.” Heidi Jo says as she begins to tug the still frozen Carly Jo towards the house.
Walkin’ up from behind, I place my palm on the small of Carly Jo’s back and guide her inside the house. Kickin’ my boots off, I walk into the kitchen where Momma is just settin’ the table for dinner. When she looks up and sees Carly Jo, she squeals like a school girl, runnin’ over to hug her. When she releases Carly Jo, she turns her around and around examinin’ every square inch of her.
“Oh my, Carly Jo Simon, I’m so happy to see your pretty face. Lady, things just ain’t been the same around here without you! Sit down and have some dinner. Lord, girl, you look like you never eat,” Momma says to her.
“Ms. Carly Jo, I want you to sit between me and my daddy, please!” Heidi Jo begs with the cutest toothy grin. Carly Jo smiles down sweetly at the little girl and sits down next to her. She still hasn’t said a word. She always loved my Momma, but I think she may have shell shock. Maybe this is all too much at once. We say grace, then pile our plates high with chicken and dumplings.
“How was your day, princess?” I ask Heidi Jo.
“It was fun, Daddy. We got to decorate paper punkins, and I made mine extra sparkly, just for you!”
“Sweet, princess, I can’t wait to see your masterpiece.”
We continue to make small talk throughout dinner, but Carly Jo is still as quiet as a mouse. She watches intently as I interact with Heidi Jo, but a smile never forms on her face. As we finish dinner, she offers to help Momma with the dishes, but Momma declines her offer, of course.
“Carly Jo, you ain’t said two words this entire time. Go on now, get through there and spend some time with Colton and Heidi Jo. I’ll clean up. Scoot, missy!” Momma tells her as she waves her hands, shooin’ Carly Jo away.
“I’m gonna take Heidi Jo for some ice cream, then after I get her cleaned up and tucked into bed, I’ll take you home.” I tell her. She nods, still with a look of terror on her face. Heidi Jo comes struttin’ through the house with her favorite hot pink sparkly tutu on and her flip flops.
“I’m ready, Daddy. I can’t wait to get me some rocky road! Let’s move it people!” Heidi Jo demands. I open the front door, and bow at her request as she exits the house. As Carly Jo walks past me, I grab her hand, lacin’ my fingers through hers and she immediately tenses up. I don’t say a word, because I know that she is freaked the hell out.
Heidi Jo climbs up in the back of my truck, and I snap the seat belt around her little lap, securin’ her in. I walk around to open the door for Carly Jo, but she is already in the passenger seat, safely buckled in, starin’ off in space. I climb in, roar the engine to life, and back out of the drive way. I turn the radio on instantly, because that’s Heidi Jo’s ‘thang’.
As soon as she hears Roar by Katy Perry, she squeals, “Oh Daddy, turn it up, turn it up!!!” She commences to sing and shout and twist and turn in her car seat, tryin’ to bounce to the rhythm of the music.
She misses half the words, but her effort and love for music is adorable, none the less. I look up from watchin’ Heidi Jo through the rear view mirror and Carly Jo is smilin’ lightly. I reach over and squeeze her thigh, and give her a wink. Lookin’ at me, she still looks lost, and I can’t help but feel remorseful for springin’ all of this on her so quickly. But, if there is any hope for Carly Jo and me, I can’t wait another damn second. I want her now. I want her heart, her soul, her body. Carly Jo was made for me, she is mine. I just have to right my wrongs, and pray to God that He shows her the way to forgiveness.
As we pull into the ice cream shop, I grab Heidi Jo from the back seat, then open the door for Carly Jo. We make our way inside, and order three cones. Heidi Jo is bouncin’ with excitement,
she loves her damn rocky road ice cream.
Heidi Jo likes to sit out front of the shop, so we make our way back outside. Carly Jo and I sit down on the bench, then Heidi Jo squeezes between us. “Scoot on over Daddy, don’t wrinkle my tutu!” she cries out.
“Excuse me Princess. What happened to sittin’ on my lap like you always do?”
“I wanna sit next to Carly Jo. She’s my new friend, ain’t ya, Carly Jo? We even have matchin’ names!” Heidi Jo says, just as she wraps her chunky little arms around Carly Jo’s arm.
Carly Jo’s eyes fill with tears, and she just giggles, “Sure am sweets, sure am.”
First damn thing she has said since she laid eyes on Heidi Jo. Tears continue to stream down her face, as I reach up with my hand to caress her soft cheeks. She smiles at me, then takes a lick of her ice cream cone. Carly Jo and Heidi Jo share some laughs over their ice cream, and I just sit back and absorb it all in.
It’s such a beautiful evenin’, watchin’ the loves of my life as they get to know each other. I’ve always dreamed of it like this, but my heart falters at the thought of the discussion I have to have with Carly Jo when I take her home. This can make us, or break us, but regardless, I owe her the honesty.
Chapter 10
Heidi Jo is in a fit of tears when I take her home to Momma. "Daddy, please let me go to Carly Jo's with you, I promise I'll be a good girl, please Daddy!"
It breaks my heart to leave her behind but I need to reconcile with Carly Jo. "Princess, you have to get your beauty sleep, you have school tomorrow. Mamaw is gonna run you a warm bubble bath and if you're extra good she might just let you watch Beauty and the Beast while you eat milk and cookies in bed." I bribe her. She hugs my waist tight, wipin’ her snotty face on my shirt.
Turnin’ to Carly Jo she hugs her tight and says, "You promise you'll come back and play with me soon?"
