The Backpack Aquarium

by Michael Rex

  “I see,” said Scoutmaster Dave. “I really wish you hadn’t run off like this. It’s dangerous in the woods at night.”

  Ricky and Gus looked upset. “We’re sorry,” they said.

  “But you two did a noble thing,” said the scoutmaster. “You did what you felt was right, and that’s how a scout should act.”

  “Thanks,” said Ricky. “But I guess we won’t get our fishing badges because we didn’t eat the fish, right?”

  “Ewww. No,” said Scoutmaster Dave. “You caught the fish. You’ll get the badge.”

  Just then, there was another series of quick crashes in the woods, and a few scouts came running onto the dock. Dawson was one of them. They all had buckets with them.

  “What are you doing here?” asked the scoutmaster.

  Dawson looked embarrassed. “We were coming down to throw our fish back in the water,” he said. “We couldn’t kill and eat them.”

  “But why were you running?” asked the scoutmaster.

  “I think we heard a bear!” said Dawson.

  “Or maybe a wolf!” said Ricky.

  They all heard another noise. They became silent and looked into the woods. Ricky, Gus, and the others could hear more rustling.

  “There’s something in there,” whispered the scoutmaster.

  There was still a lot of honking on the bridge, but none of the vehicles were moving. Ricky and the man kept talking.

  “But why did you hit my car with a belt?” asked the man.

  “I’m getting to that,” said Ricky.…

  I looked at the mystery sock, and I slowly reached into it. I took out a crushed piece of sushi and ate it really fast!

  “He’s eating sock sushi!” said Stew. All the kids laughed and groaned. A piece of floppy baloney was handed to me. It looked pretty normal.

  “Big deal!” I said. “It’s a slice of baloney!”

  Michelle was laughing now. “Eww!” she said. “Don’t eat it, Ricky! You won! You won!”

  I looked at Michelle and reminded her of the rules. “I have to eat whatever is given to me, or I lose!”

  I gobbled it down, and everyone on the bus was laughing and screaming and getting grossed out! The teacher stood up and looked back at us, and we all quieted down.

  Then everyone started whispering. I could see that all the other kids were up to something. Some bent over and reached under their seats.

  A few minutes later, there was a murmur on the bus, and all the kids were looking at me again. Someone handed something to Stew and whispered. Stew handed it to me.

  “Gum blob from under the bus seats,” whispered Stew. Kids were whisper-chanting, “Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!”

  I held the glob of bus seat gum in my hand close to my mouth.

  “Ricky! Don’t!” whispered Michelle. She was giggling. I could tell she really wanted me to eat it. I’ve eaten some gross crud before, but this was gonna be the grossest thing ever. But I had to win!

  I opened my mouth and brought the gooey, sticky, fuzzy glob to my lips. All of a sudden, the bus jerked forward and into a center lane. I fell back in my seat, and the glob of bus gum went out the window.

  “He’s cheating!” cried a kid.

  “If he doesn’t eat it, he loses!” screamed another. “You lose, Ricky!”

  I looked out the bus window and saw the glob of gum sitting on the roof of a car. I tried to reach it, but it was way too far.

  I knew I had to get that gum back! I had never lost a game of Garbage Mouth. I took my belt off really fast.

  “Does anyone have a fork?” I asked.

  Someone gave me a plastic fork. I pulled my shoelace out of my shoe (I really should just carry extras) and tied the fork to the end of the belt.

  The traffic had stopped moving again, and the gum car was right next to us.

  I hung out the window with my fork-on-a-belt and started twirling it. Then, after it was going fast enough, I aimed it at the gum and whipped it hard. I stabbed the gum on the first try!

  “Bull’s-eye!” I said.

  The car moved forward, but we didn’t. The gum was stuck on the roof. The belt got really tight. I leaned out the window as far as I could, but the shoelace broke and the fork stayed in the gum. The belt came flying at me and knocked me in the face so hard that I fell back into the bus, across Stew, and into the aisle.

  I jumped up fast and got to the window and tried again to hit the gum with the belt, hoping I could get it back. That’s when you stuck your head out the window.

  The man looked at Ricky like he was crazy. “You really ate all that gross stuff?” he asked. The kids were looking out the bus windows now.

  “Yeah,” said Ricky.

  The man turned his head and looked at the roof of his car. He reached up and grabbed the bus seat gum glob.

  “What happens if someone else eats something that you don’t eat?” asked the man.

  “Then they win Garbage Mouth, and I lose,” said Ricky.

  He put the gum in his mouth and chewed it. Then the traffic opened up, and he sped away.

  Ricky and the kids all sat back down in the bus. Everyone was laughing hard, especially Michelle. The bus started moving again and was soon traveling at full speed.

  “Hey!” said Stew. “We’re off the bridge.”

  Michelle looked out the window. “Wow,” she said. “Thanks, Ricky.”

  “No problem,” said Ricky.

  Then she leaned over the seat and did the most disgusting, gross, horrible thing ever. She gave Ricky a quick kiss on the cheek.

  MICHAEL REX is the creator of over thirty books for children, including the number one bestseller Goodnight Goon and the Fangbone! series. He was inspired to create Icky Ricky by his two boys, Declan and Gavin, who are fine young citizens, but very disgusting. Gavin eats ketchup on his cake, and Declan uses a purple marker to color his belly button. Along with the boys, Mr. Rex lives with his wife and their dog, Roxy, in Leonia, New Jersey. Both his wife and the dog are not disgusting at all. Visit him at mikerexbooks.blogspot.com. You won’t get dirty.