CROW (Boston Underworld Book 1)

by A. Zavarelli

  “Look, I don’t know, okay,” she says. “I swear. She was a really nice girl and all, but she only worked here for a couple of weeks. I don’t know what happened to her. One day she just stopped showing up for work. And then the police came and asked us a bunch of questions. I didn’t know anything then, and I still don’t.”

  “You have to know something,” I push. “Just tell me who she was hanging out with. Which one of the guys? Just give me that much.”

  “I have a sick mother to take care of!” she cries. “God, Mack, are you trying to get me killed?”

  The weight of my guilt is crushing me. None of this is as easy as I thought it was going to be. I don’t want to scare Sasha or even get her involved. But I need to know. And I will do whatever I can to protect her if it comes down to it.

  “None of this will come back to you. I promise.”

  Sasha hesitates and then paces back and forth. Her hair is all tangled from her pulling on it, and her eyes look drawn and tired. I have to wonder what kind of man managed to suck such a sweet girl into a place like this and then left her to fend for himself. I don’t know him, but I hate him already.

  Sasha comes to a halt, seemingly with her mind made up.

  “There were a few guys who were interested,” she says quickly. “Donny, Sean, and some big Russian guy. I don’t know his name. He’s only been in here a few times and I didn’t pay attention. You shouldn’t either, Mack. You need to let this go before the same thing ends up happening to you.”

  “I can’t.”

  She shakes her head and lets out an agonized sigh.

  “Well, then you’re going to die too.”

  Without another word, she pushes past me, leaving me in peace to the swell of grief rising inside of my chest.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Mackenzie

  Ronan comes for me just after midnight, escorting me out to the curb where Lachlan is already waiting inside his car.

  Neither one of them says a word to me as Ronan shoves me into the passenger seat with a scowl and then shuts the door behind me. I barely have time to buckle myself in before Lachlan zooms off into the night, his knuckles white on the steering wheel and his features hard.

  I would apologize now, but somehow I don’t think that would help.

  When we get back to his house, he drags me inside by the arm. Conor is still sitting in the chair, his expression changing from murderous to fear as his eyes swing between me and Lachlan.

  “For chrissakes,” Lachlan barks. “Untie him. Now!”

  I scurry over and do as he says, making quick work of his bonds. He cringes when I rip off the duct tape, and I feel like an asshole all over again.

  “I’m really sorry,” I whisper.

  He doesn’t grace me with a response. The moment he’s up and on his feet, Lachlan orders him to get out. And then it’s just the two of us. Him with his cold, hard gaze, and me… quaking in my stilettos.

  “Come here.”

  I walk to him with downcast eyes, silently pleading for him to go easy on me. I know what’s coming next. I know it in my bones. But this wasn’t how I wanted it to go.

  Once I’m within arm’s length, he grabs me by the throat and slams me up against the wall, his eyes burning with rage.

  “Do ye fancy a buck with Sean?” he asks. “Is that it?”

  “No.” I shake my head furiously. “I don’t.”

  “Maybe ye should go warm his bed, sweetheart. It’d save me the trouble of trying to lookout for ye. In fact, I’m sure all the lads would be happy to have a go.”

  I blink back tears from his hateful words.

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “Aye,” he says. “I do. What good are ye to me? Ye’re a disobedient little bitch who doesn’t do as she’s told.”

  “You like that about me,” I tell him.

  His eyes flash, and the heat of his erection grows as he presses his body closer to mine.

  “Is that so?” he asks. “Tell me, sweetheart, do ye think I also like my woman to be making eyes at other lads while she sits in their lap?”

  Shame wells up inside of me and I can’t respond. This only pisses him off more.

  “Ye just don’t fucking get it,” he bellows. “What I’ve put on the line for you. And this is how ye repay me?”

  I flinch at the fury in his voice, and it only makes him squeeze my throat harder.

  “I’m sorry,” I cry out.

  “Don’t lie to me.”

  “I am sorry,” I vow. “I don’t want Sean. I just thought…”

  The words fail me. What can I say that will make him understand?

  “I want ye to walk out that door,” he says. “Leave ye to fend for yourself. Ye’re just like the rest of them.”

  “I’m not.” My eyes are wet, and I mean it. I don’t want him to think that about me. “And I know you don’t want that. I’ll be good, I promise. I’m yours, Lachlan. I swear to you.”

  “Mine?” he laughs cruelly as he reaches for the hem of my dress and rips it with his bare hands. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure yet.”

  My entire body is shaking with adrenaline and nerves. He’s so angry with me, and if I’m being honest with myself, I am too. But this isn’t how I want this to happen. I’m scared, for the first time in my life, I’m really fucking scared. And it’s because he could really hurt me. Not physically. But in the worst possible way. He could destroy me.

  Lachlan has that power. And I need him to not hurt me. I need him to… I don’t know. Be nice to me. At least right now. Just during this vulnerable moment. That’s all.

  “Lachlan, wait,” I plead.

  He continues to tear at my dress, pulling pieces of fabric away as his eyes focus on the task at hand. His hands are all over me, rough and punishing, and he isn’t even hearing me right now. I need to make him hear. I reach up and clasp his face in my hands with a gentle touch, moving his gaze back to me.

  “Lach,” I whisper. “Wait, please.”

  “Please, what?” he clips out. “I’m done with your teasing, sweetheart. Ye’re either with me, or ye’re not. Fair warning that option number two isn’t going to bode too well for you.”

  This is his rage still talking. I try not to let it get to me as my thumbs stroke over his jaw. “I know. But I don’t want our first time together to be like this. Just… let me take care of you.”

  My words seem to affect him, which throws me a little. I didn’t think I’d be able to get through to him. He pauses, his eyes searching mine. His expression softens just a fraction as guilt flickers in his eyes. Knowing that I have him, I reach down and take his hands in mine, backing him up until his legs hit the sofa. He watches me as I retrieve my iPod from my purse and scroll through some music. I press play and then set it down on the coffee table, shimmying out of the ruined fabric of my dress to Burning Desire by Lana Del Ray. I want it to be slow and sweet. I want him to burn like I do.

  “I only dance for you from now on,” I say softly. “Remember?”

  Lachlan doesn’t take his eyes off me for a second, and it’s clear to me I’ve lost his trust. It guts me, even though it shouldn’t. Where I come from, trust is a big thing. Loyalty. My loyalty got me into this mess, and I wish I could just tell him that. But I can’t. Instead, I’m going to make it up to him. I’m going to offer myself up to him on a silver platter. Something I swore I would never do.

  Once I’m down to nothing but a black lace bra and panties, I step between his legs and turn around. Swiveling my hips, I dance in time to the beat of the music and ease myself onto his lap, rubbing my bottom against his erection. Even through his jeans, I can feel how hard he is for me. He’s going to be inside of me soon. My first. It’s strange to me how okay I am with that. How much I want him to be the one.

  After a few moments, he relaxes beneath me, his hands wandering over my body while I grind against him. He reaches around and palms my breas
ts through the lace at the same time he rocks his pelvis up into me. When I glance down at his hands on my body, I can see the strength in his muscular forearms. Everything about him is strong. Primitive. Male. He makes me feel tiny. Fragile. These are things I never thought I’d like to feel, but I do.

  He pulls me back against his chest and holds me there while one of his hands delves lower, into my panties. He finds the pool of moisture there and his groan vibrates against my back as he stuffs me with his fingers. I watch them move beneath the fabric, enrapt at the sight as I thrash against him. He’s being gentler than I thought, but it doesn’t last. When my head falls back against his shoulder and my eyes meets his, something inside of him snaps.

  His free hand reaches up to clutch at my throat as his lips find my ear.

  “Things are going to change from here on out,” he says. “This isn’t a fucking game, Mack.”

  “I know.”

  He grabs my jaw and squeezes it between his fingers as he pins me with his eyes. “Ye’re going to abide by whatever I tell you from now on. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

  I can’t move my head, or even open my mouth, but it turns out it doesn’t matter. He uses his grip to move my head up and down in a nod of agreement as he answers.

  “Yes, Lachlan.”

  When he loosens his grip on my jaw, I echo him as he clearly wants. “Yes, Lachlan,” I tell him. “Whatever you say from now on. I’ll be good.”

  He reaches down and slides his hand beneath my panties to cup my ass cheek, his touch tender while his eyes are still furious. It confuses me, and I’m shocked as hell when he smacks my ass so hard I yelp and nearly jump out of his lap. That’s definitely going to leave a mark.

  “Have ye any idea what ye did tonight?” he growls.

  “Yes,” I whimper. “I’m sorry.”

  His fingers move harder inside of me, rougher, slapping against my clit and making me buck against his leg.

  “Are ye a slut?” he demands.

  Shock resonates through me at his accusation, but I’m too delirious to fight him. I’m so close to coming. So freaking close.

  “No,” I whimper. “I’m not.”

  His grip tightens around my sore ass in warning and he bites down on my earlobe.

  “The correct answer to that, Mack,” he breathes harshly. “Is aye, Lachlan. I’m a slut for you. Only you.”

  Jesus. Why the hell is this turning me on? It shouldn’t, right? I should be angry or something. But instead I’m pleading incoherently, and my arousal is so heavy I can now hear it slapping against his hand every time he moves inside of me.

  “Please,” I beg.

  “Answer me,” he insists as he slows his movements.

  I shake my head and start to move against him myself. I’ll tell him whatever he wants to hear right now if he just doesn’t stop what he’s doing to me.

  “Yes, Lachlan,” I scream so loud that if any of his men are outside, they’re sure to hear it too. “I’m a slut, but only for you.”

  He grunts and slams his hand deeper.

  I cry out as the orgasm washes over me, riding out the waves with jerky movements of my hips while he presses hot kisses all the way down my throat. Then he pulls his hand out of me and brings his still wet fingers up to grip my face, smearing them across my lips before he pushes them inside.

  The animalistic part of me already knows what he wants, so I give into him. I suck them while he watches with smoldering eyes and makes a low noise of approval in his throat.

  “Now what have ye to say?” he asks.

  I blink at him, and it takes me a minute for me to realize what he wants. It’s so arrogant of him, but I like it when he’s like this, God help me.

  “Thank you, Lachlan.”

  “For?”

  “For making me come.”

  “Good girl. Now turn around,” he orders in a husky voice.

  I get up long enough to spin and straddle his lap, resting my hands on his shoulders. He’s staring at me with questioning eyes. Probably wondering if he can trust me. If he should go through with this or kick me to the curb. I don’t know if it’s my need for answers or something else that makes me bob forward and capture his mouth with mine.

  He tastes hot and sweet and so many other things I can’t articulate. Whatever was going through his mind a moment ago has vanished, replaced by a rapturous hunger. His hands find the clasp of my bra, making short work of it before he tosses it aside completely. Then he palms both of my breasts roughly while he pulls away to stare at them.

  “These tits,” he grunts. “You and these goddamn tits.”

  It’s all the talking he does before his mouth is on them, licking at them like he can’t get enough. My fingers stroke through his hair and down the back of his neck while my head falls back and I allow myself to feel everything, for just this moment. He’s so good. Too good.

  “Christ.” He picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist, carrying me down the hall. “I’m going to burst if I don’t get inside of ye.”

  Kicking open the door to his bedroom, he lays me down on the bed. His eyes never leave mine as he reaches for his belt and discards his pants in one fell swoop.

  My stomach flutters at the sight before me. He’s perfect. Cut and lean and so fricken’ hot I feel like the slut he says I am for wanting him the way I do. His cock stands rigid between his legs, balls heavy with need as a drop of pre-cum leaks from the tip. It looks painful, and I want to be the one to ease it for him. I want him so bad it scares me.

  “You’ve no idea how many times I’ve imagined the ways I’d have you, Mack,” he says gruffly as he lowers himself on top of me.

  I reach up and kiss his throat, my voice vibrating against his skin.

  “Tell me.”

  He turns his head and nips at my fingers. “On my desk, in my car, at the club…”

  My hands smooth down his muscular back and pull him closer, and he grins.

  “Ye’d like that, wouldn’t ye?”

  I crash my lips against his and wrap my legs around his waist. I need him inside of me, yesterday. I don’t even care to admit it anymore. I’ll get it out of my system, I’m sure. There’s only one surefire way. But Lachlan pulls away and gives me a chaste look as he grips my wrists in his hand. He won’t be rushed, apparently.

  “Ye know what I wanted to do to ye tonight?”

  I close my eyes and blow out a breath, afraid of what he might say. “What?”

  “I wanted to bend ye over the table and eat your hot little cunt before the whole lot of them,” he says.

  I blink my eyes open, shocked by the heated possession staring back at me. He really does think I’m his. I don’t know how to feel about that. Will he feel the same after tonight?

  He spreads my legs and leans back just enough so that he can grip his cock in his hand, sliding it against my arousal. A strangled noise leaves my throat, and this pleases him. But when he positions himself at my entrance, I tense up a little, and he doesn’t miss it.

  “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he asks. “Afraid I won’t fit?”

  “Yes,” I lie.

  My answer makes him groan, and then he’s leaning forward, bracing himself on the weight of his elbows as his lips find mine.

  “I’ll be good to you,” he murmurs against me.

  He starts to push inside, and just as I suspect, there’s a slight bite of pain. He’s too frigging big.

  I bite my lip and he closes his eyes as his entire body tightens in my grasp.

  “Jaysus, ye’re tight,” he grunts.

  And then it happens. He meets my resistance, and it breaks inside of me. It isn’t as bad as I thought, but Lachlan definitely notices. He pauses, his eyes flying open as he stares into mine. Nothing is said for a few long moments. Only the sound of our heavy breathing fills the room as I reach up with a shaky hand and stroke his scruff.

  “You’re my first.”

&
nbsp; Something about those words turns the fire in his eyes into a blazing inferno. His lips crash down on mine, and he kisses me until my lips are swollen with his roughness. When he pulls away, his eyes are heavy with lust and my own heart is thudding violently in my chest.

  He starts to roll his hips inside of me at the same time his thumb finds my clit. He doesn’t take his eyes off me for a second, and I can’t look away either. For some reason, this is more intimate than the act itself. Knowing that he’s the first and only man to have me this way. To be inside of me. But it’s his eyes on mine while he stuffs me with his cock that makes my pulse skyrocket.

  It isn’t long until I’m bucking against him, overcome by the intensity of what I’m feeling. I didn’t expect it to feel good. I only expected pain. But it does feel good. He’s driving in and out of my wetness. His hands are branding me with the heat of his possession, his eyes searing me with one train of thought. I belong to him. Only him. He tells me as much when I shatter around him.

  Tension ripples along his back and his biceps as he struggles for control. His body is slick with sweat and he looks like he’s in agony. Then his head falls back and his mouth parts as he groans out his release. He jerks inside of me, hot jets of his cum filling my womb. It’s only then that I realize we didn’t even use a condom. He doesn’t say it, but it’s in his eyes. He’s thinking the same thing.

  “I’m on the pill,” I blurt. “And I’m clean, obviously.”

  “Aye.” He grins. “Obviously. Me too, sweetheart.”

  His eyes soften as he reaches down and kisses me. This time it’s soft and sweet. It freaks me the hell out. I don’t do this. I don’t do intimacy in any form. But that isn’t even what’s bothering me about this. What’s bothering me is that I’m not bothered by his touch. His kiss. I should be. I should be very bothered. I cannot let my defenses down against this guy.

  When he collapses next to me on the bed, I try to scramble away towards the bathroom, but he captures my wrist and stops me.

  “What in the bleeding hell do ye think ye’re doing?” he demands.