New Girl

by Joan B. Flood

  No way was I going to tell her about the note. There hadn’t been another one, so maybe it was a one-off. Besides, I felt weird enough lying here beside her, because I was remembering the kiss at the dance. I wanted to kiss her again. Instead, I told her about Bart chatting to me.

  “Bart.” She snorted. “God, girl, between Tommy Mack and Bart your taste in guys is pretty awful.”

  “Not really my taste. I didn’t ask Bart to talk to me. He just did. I was surprised.”

  “Yeah, well. He’s no gift, let me tell you that.”

  She turned toward me and looked into my face. “Be careful, Carly. You don’t know how things are around here yet.”

  I decided to take a chance.

  “Why don’t you like Tommy Mack?”

  She twisted away from me and sat up.

  “Jesus! Him again.”

  I caught her arm.

  “I don’t want to fight with you, Jane. I really don’t. But he seems okay to me. He’s been nice to me. What has he done to you?”

  She turned, looked into my eyes. Then she leaned down and kissed me. Just like that. I kissed her back. It was nothing like the kiss I remembered from the dance. It was sweet and hard at the same time. Almost angry. We pulled apart for a moment, and then we kissed again. This time it began as a gentle exploration of lips, but then became a wild tumble in the grass.

  When we finally straightened out our clothes, the sun was almost down. We picked up our bikes and started for home. The ride back was quiet. Every once in a while we grinned at each other. I rode with her right past the turn off for my place, almost as far as the school. We got off our bikes at the first traffic light in town. We just stood there and looked at each other for a moment. Then Jane reached out and touched my hand, just a light brush of her fingers. I leaned across my bike and kissed her.

  “See you tomorrow,” she whispered.

  All the way home I remembered the softness of her and the smooth feel of her hands as they mapped out my body. How surprised I had been to find the hardness of her hipbone. I didn’t remember until much later that she hadn’t answered my question about Tommy.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “About time. I thought you two were just going to fight forever.” Corinne laughed and hugged us both. We were settled into a booth in the café the next morning. Jane and I were shy and flirty. Anyone would know to look at us that something was going on. Tommy Mack came in and looked around. I gave him a small wave when our eyes met. He raised his hand in a quick half salute, then left. I hadn’t seen much of him since the night at the Acres. In fact, I hadn’t seen much of anyone because I didn’t hang around school unless I was with Corinne or Jane. I still hadn’t mentioned the note to anyone, either. Today, none of that bothered me. All that was on my mind was spending more time with Jane.

  As it turned out, we didn’t spend a lot of time together. Jane took off right after school most days. “Chores,” she said. The next big meet was coming up fast, so I was training with the team in any case. A couple of nights a week we managed to get out and meet up halfway between her place and mine. One night we even rode out to the field that we were now calling our place.

  “Wow, what happened to you?” I pointed to a big dark bruise on her thigh.

  “Nothing.” Jane grabbed me and kissed me soundly. I forgot about the bruise. Later I was mad because one more time she hadn’t answered my questions. Whenever I tried to get her to talk about anything like Tommy Mack or her bruises or what chores she did, she brushed me off, usually with the nicest distractions, but she didn’t tell me anything. Corinne’s difficulty with Jack not talking about “stuff” was beginning to make sense.

  “Can’t you get out of it?” Corinne glared. “Just this once a jock event won’t kill you.”

  The whole school was excited about the big intramural meet coming up. Just about everyone was going and, as usual, odds were placed on all the participants. I was front-runner, so to speak, for most of my races and had been training hard. I was ready and pumped for it.

  “Can’t.” Jane shrugged and then scratched her back against the fence as she settled herself in.

  We were in the yard, backs against the fence as usual. The weather had warmed up and we slathered ourselves in sunscreen, pulled our T-shirt sleeves up over our shoulders, and stretched our legs out, shiny and baking under the midday sun.

  “It would be nice if you could come,” I said, “but if you can’t, well…”

  Corinne sighed and leaned her shoulder into mine. I leaned back into her for a second. Then, afraid I would cry, got up and went inside.

  Walking down the corridor on the way to the washroom. I scanned the lockers to make sure there was no note on mine. I looked down the long row, checking to see if I got another one. Every time I walked through this hallway now, I prepared myself. So far one hadn’t appeared. Once I broke out in a sweat because I saw a little bulge of a note, but it was the locker next to mine. Today was all clear.

  Tommy Mack was in the hallway when I turned the corner from the washroom corridor. No one else was around. He just stood smack in the center between the rows of lockers, his head down and eyes on the floor.

  “Lost something?” I said.

  He turned, gave himself a little shake. When he saw it was me, he smiled.

  “Hey, Carly, haven’t seen much of you lately.”

  “Been busy.”

  I wasn’t going to say doing what, but could feel a grin break out. “Hey, thanks for telling me where Ryan was at the party. I think I had a bit too much beer.”

  He just smiled. His collar was askew, and I thought about straightening it up, just to put him right.

  I put my hands in my pockets. “You okay? You look kinda lost.”

  He looked around, as if seeing where he was for the first time.

  “Just tired, I guess. You all set for the meet?”

  That reminded me of Jane again.

  “You’ll be there?” I asked him.

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. You’ll ace it.”

  The door at the end of the hallway banged open, and a bunch of kids came in. I took it as my cue to move off. I looked back once before I went out the door, and Tommy was still there in the center of the hallway, the other kids diverting around him like water around a rock in a stream.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The meet was great. I came out on top of every event I had entered. Even brought the relay team home first. Awesome. It was the best time right after, when I was tired and exhilarated all at once. Everyone crowded around and was happy with me. Really, it passed in a sort of a blur in which I didn’t remember who came and said what, but that usually didn’t matter.

  This time, however, it did. Even though Jane said she wouldn’t be there, I looked for her in the stands before every race and when I was done. True to her word, she wasn’t. Corinne, Mom, Dad, and Ryan were my cheering section as usual.

  The whole team, almost the whole school, was going to the café downtown to celebrate.

  “But Carly, it’s what we do,” Mom said when I said I’d like to go with the gang.

  Dad touched Mom’s arm. “Let her go, hon.”

  Mom looked from him to me and then at all the gang waiting. She gave me a long hug before she pushed me toward Corinne, who stood at the edge of the group watching us.

  Just before we left the arena I looked back at Mom and Dad. They stood side by side on the edge of the track. Mom gave a little wave, and for a second I felt bad, but then Corinne grabbed my arm and I forgot about them.

  Corinne and I sat side by side in the booth, across from Jack. The blond with the neatly turned down socks, Kendra, tucked herself in next to Jack and hung on his every word. She giggled a lot, but didn’t say much; just flashed her eyes at Jack every chance she got. Jack didn’t move his arm when she leaned out to the pick up the salt and then rested her arm against his, elbow to wrist.

  On the street outside, Jack gave Corinne a long hug before
he went off in the opposite direction to grab his bus. Kendra had phoned her mom to come get her and had already left in a deep green SUV with darkened rear windows. Jack didn’t give her a hug, but he squeezed her hand briefly before saying goodbye.

  “What’s with that Kendra?” I asked Corinne as we walked to the bus.

  Corinne shrugged.

  “Hey, give me the story. What’s going on?”

  “I guess she likes Jack.”

  “Does Jack like her?”

  “I think so, but it’s not a problem.”

  “Not a problem? What do you mean, not a problem?”

  Corinne said that if Jack wanted to go out with Kendra, well then he should. No reason not to.

  “What about you?”

  “I’m fine.” Corinne laughed. “I’m okay if he sees Kendra as well as me. I’ll be sad if it’s instead of, but otherwise…”

  She gave her little shrug, and waved to a girl goth walking on the other side of the street.

  “Is that a goth thing, sharing boyfriends?”

  Corinne doubled over laughing.

  “You’re so weird,” she gasped. “I just adore you.”

  She threw her arms around me in a hug. I shoved her away.

  “Sorry, Caro.” She tried to stop her giggles. “No it’s not a goth thing. We’re not married, or ever likely to be. Yes, I like him. I have a huge crush, but I also have a crush on a couple of other people. I’m fifteen.”

  Miss Copperhead flashed into my mind. The jolt of jealousy I had felt when I saw how obviously close she and Jane were.

  “Aren’t you jealous?”

  “Sure, sometimes,” Corinne said. “But it won’t kill me. Besides, I have stuff I want to do myself, not just be available whenever Jack has time. It’s cool. And if I want to spend time with someone else, I can do that.”

  I couldn’t decide if that was all cool or just plain weird. Then someone came up to high-five me on the meet and our talk turned to other things.

  That night, Jane called me late and sounded really happy for me. “Great going,” she said into my ear, and in spite of myself, I got a nice warm glow. It didn’t seem the time to talk to her about my disappointment that she didn’t show up.

  On Wednesday, Jane hurried off after school again. For a moment I thought about following her. Corinne and Jack seeing whomever they liked was on my mind. Maybe that was what was up with Jane; she was hurrying off to see someone else. Maybe Miss Copperhead? Before I could decide, Bart showed up.

  “Hello, Miss Big Eyes,” he said as he walked alongside me. “Mind if I walk you to the bus?”

  “No, but I’m not going to the bus. I’m walking home.”

  “Better yet. I’ll walk some of the way with you.”

  Bart had graduated the last year. As we walked he told me about his work as a mechanic in a garage downtown, and that he played baseball on the local team. He was, he said, on a break from studies. He might go to college next year, but was taking time off. He didn’t know what he would do in college. That’s what he was taking time out to think about. He wanted to know what I liked to do, besides win races. He said he’d heard about how good I was.

  Being with Bart was completely different from being with Jane, apart from the fact that being with Jane was like nothing else. She was fun, and we talked school gossip, daydreams, movies, music—that stuff. Bart was really interested in me. He asked things like how I felt when I won and what it was like when I didn’t. He told me what he liked about playing baseball. Before I knew it, we were a block away from my house.

  “See ya around,” he said.

  He was definitely cute. His eyes were very blue, and his smile was bold and shy at the same time. He turned away without another word, his hands stuffed into his pockets, shoulders up around his ears. The soft, lilting tune he whistled carried back to me on the wind.

  That night I told Corinne that Bart had walked me home. We were on chat, and she sent me back: wtf!!???

  Turned out, she was as mystified as I was why he had walked me home. It was a long way to my house, about a full hour at a fast walk.

  What does he want? I wrote.

  Yeah, who knows what he wants. Careful. Don’t take any drugs from him, k?

  That was easy. I had no intention of taking drugs. Next time, if there ever were a next time, I’d tell him so.

  No prob. I won’t. He’s cute though!

  Cute? U crazy. U interested in him?

  Nah. Maybe. How can I be? U know I’m into Jane. Girls!

  Sure you can u don’t need to stick to one or the other.

  No way. He’s a drug dealer!!!!

  Yea. Careful u, ok?

  Maybe next time I would say he couldn’t walk me home. No way was I interested in him as a boyfriend. And I couldn’t be that desperate for company, could I?

  A couple of days later, just as I got to the school gates in the morning one new message came in on my cell. I fumbled it open, sure it was Jane.

  What would the hatchet man have to say

  about his daughter kissing girls?

  I went to the call log to see who sent it, but all I got was “private number.” A quick scan of the place turned up nobody paying special attention to me, just a guy walking across the yard who gave me a small wave. I gave a half wave back, and then stuck my hand in my pocket because I felt silly.

  I so wanted to text whoever sent that to me and say the “hatchet man” wouldn’t care at all. And I knew that for a fact. My Aunt Louise, his own sister, had been with the same partner, a woman, for about fifteen years. I’d known Aunt Julie, my aunt’s partner, all my life.

  Still, it bothered me that someone sent me that. It was just mean, like the locker note. The worst part was, getting these things with no way to know who sent them, made me wonder about everyone. Well, except for Corinne and Jane. They were the only people I knew who had my cell number. Except, of course, anyone on the track team or who I teamed up with for assignments. That covered a lot of people. It included Tommy Mack, though I didn’t believe he would do it. Had the same person sent both messages? Was it more than one person?

  My phone let me know another message had arrived. Before I opened it, I checked recent calls. It was from Jane. She said she couldn’t make our walk after school, but could we meet up later in the evening, maybe another bike ride. Yes, I answered, no problem. But then I began to brood.

  Maybe it was the anonymous text, maybe it was Corinne not caring who Jack saw besides her, maybe it was just me, but Jane’s slipping away so much, and her silence about why or where she was going began to bother me. Big time.

  She came to my place just after supper. The deliciously warm evening light spilled over us as we rode out to our field. We didn’t race each other this time. In fact we didn’t speak much at all. I felt guilty because I thought about following Jane to see what she was up to, and I was angry that she wouldn’t come to meets that were important to me, or tell me what was keeping her away. By the time we reached our field, though, the exercise had done its magic and I was calm.

  “Hey, how was your day?” she asked when we were settled on the plastic tablecloth she had thought to bring.

  I shifted over the bulk of my cell in my back pocket.

  “Okay. Nothing much, you know. You?”

  “Yeah it was okay. You seem quiet. Something wrong?”

  “Uh-uh. Did you know that Bart turned up after school and walked me home a few days ago?”

  As soon as the words were out, I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. Jane sat up and looked down on me.

  “Bart? My brother, Bart?”

  “Yeah.”

  She lay back down again, pulled her hair up at the back, sighed, and stared at the sky.

  “Is that a problem?”

  Her silence made me uncomfortable, and I just knew I was going to babble if I wasn’t careful.

  “Well, I think it may be a problem for you, if you’re not careful.” She spoke slowly, like it was hard to g
et the words out. “You know, he just wants to get you in his net.”

  “His net?”

  She sat up so fast she startled me, and I sat up too so we were shoulder to shoulder. She moved her mouth a couple of times, like she was going to speak. Then she took my hand. She seemed more sad than mad.

  “Carly, Bart is a drug dealer. That’s what he does. He’s mean, really mean, and the only interest he has in anyone is whether or not he can sell them something. Better yet, hook them on something. You don’t know this about him, but I do. I know it. I know he is ugly and mean and doesn’t care about anyone but himself. If you don’t want to believe that, there’s nothing I can do about it. But because I care about you, I just gotta say it.”

  “I know. I know he deals. I saw him at the party. He never suggests drugs to me when we talk. Ever. He doesn’t seem mean when we talk.”

  Jane gave a small snort. “Of course not. Would you talk to him if he seemed mean? Would you have anything to do with him?”

  She had a point. I didn’t really want anything to do with a drug dealer, but it was all so confusing.

  “What’s the difference between a friend who offers you drugs at a party and someone who sells the things that your friends offered? We all drink even though we’re underage. Everyone can’t be bad, and mean, and evil.”

  “It’s not the same thing at all,” Jane said. “You gotta get your head around this stuff, Carly. Otherwise you’ll be lost. Just lost. And I wouldn’t want that.”

  We were even quieter on the way home, but it was a different quiet. The kind of quiet that was a bit sad; that might turn out all right in the end. I knew she was right. There was a whole lot of stuff I had to figure out for myself: Bart, Tommy Mack, Corinne, and Jack, not to mention Jane herself.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The air was cool, the sun just up, and dew glistened on the grass and bushes that edged the road. My feet hit the pavement with a light shuff-shuff sound. A couple of crows cawed out as I passed underneath their perch on the higher branches of the big elm at the turn in the road. I tried to keep focused on my form and pace, but it wasn’t working. Another message was on my phone this morning. This one said I was ugly and taking up too much space on the planet, and I should watch out. Again the sender was blocked.