What Could Be (Everyday Love Book 1)

by Jaycee Weaver

  Josh pocketed the phone for a moment and answered his son. “Let’s go check, buddy. It sure smells done to me.”

  He’d popped a frozen pizza into the oven as soon as they’d gotten home a little bit ago. He opened the oven door to a blast of hot air and a quick glimpse showed the pizza was perfectly crisp and golden. Grabbing an oven mitt, he pulled it out and set it on top of the stove.

  The itch to check his phone again was almost too much, but he didn’t want to make Brynn uncomfortable or make himself sound like a moron, either. God, he silently prayed, I’m out of my depth here. I don’t know what you’re doing with Brynn or if you even have anything planned for her and me, but I’d sure like to know. I really, really like her, Lord, and I need to know what I’m supposed to do here.

  He plated a few slices for himself and one for Brendan on paper plates. Brendan hefted the gallon of milk from the fridge and plunked it on to the counter.

  “Here, Dad. I got the milk out for you,” he grunted under the strain of the full carton.

  “Thanks, little man. Why don’t you grab the cups?”

  “Okay. Can I have chocolate milk?”

  “Not this time, bud. I think there’s some ice cream in the freezer for dessert, if we eat our green stuff.”

  “Cucumbers? Those are green!” Brendan’s expressive eyes begged.

  “Sure, I’ll count those. I think we have some baby carrots and those little sweet peppers you like, too.”

  “Mmmm. Okay, I’ll get the ranch!”

  Within a few minutes, they both had a fairly decent dinner in front of them. His conscience didn’t let them eat in front of the TV very often, but it was Friday and they had a movie night planned. While Brendan put in the DVD, Josh silently pulled out his phone. Josh held up the phone and snapped an adorable picture of his son shoveling in a bite of pizza. With a few taps, it was off to Brynn.

  The screen lit up with her reply a few moments later. He smiled when he saw a pic of a cup of Dino’s ranch next to a plate empty of all but a few crumbs and a nibbled crust.

  Great minds think alike, she’d written. Indeed. He glanced up at the TV screen and laughed out loud when he saw Brendan’s choice. He sent her a pic of the TV screen, showing the opening scene to the movie Brendan had chosen. This was all Brendan’s doing tonight, I promise. I must be raising him right. He waited with another laugh held back, knowing she’d probably get a kick out of it.

  Brynn

  A loud laugh burst out of her mouth, and she’d nearly choked on her pizza crust when Josh’s last text had come through. She would recognize a young Fred Savage tucked into his bed anywhere. The Princess Bride had been one of her all-time favorite movies since she was a little kid, watching it with her much older cousins during many a family vacation. It was one of those rare movies that all of the cousins, both the boys and the girls, could agree on. The story was so much fun, that even with the 80s bits the movie never really seemed to age and held appeal for everyone. She had grown up wanting to be loved the way Westley loved Buttercup, and to have the kind of faith like Buttercup, her Westley would come.

  What were the odds Brendan would choose the same movie they’d just been quoting? Feeling inspired, she popped in her own DVD copy and skipped ahead to the scene where Westley hands Buttercup the pitcher and sent a pic to Josh.

  Kid has impeccable taste. I just had to follow his lead.

  About an hour later, her phone chimed once again, just as Westley and Buttercup were running out of the fire swamp. She grinned when the screen lit to a picture of the hideous ROUS.

  Thinking of you. Hope you’re feeling better.

  She laughed aloud to herself. That rational Brynn in the back of her head raised another protest about the appropriateness of this conversation and the dangerous territory she was entering, but Brynn hadn’t felt this silly and free in such a long time. She hushed the rational voice and kept typing.

  Not sure whether or not I should be offended that the ROUS prompted you to think of me.

  Those three little dots sent her stomach flipping, thankfully not from the evil stomach bug this time. She waited for the little chime with anticipation.

  Oh, I was already thinking of you.

  The dots kept bouncing.

  And bouncing.

  Uh, was he writing a novel or what? And what the heck did he mean by that? Oh, man, this was so dangerous.

  Josh

  Oh, wait. Did he actually send that last text? He’d already typed it without thinking. What he really wanted to add was, “It’s NOT thinking about you that’s the challenge.” Of course, he couldn’t ever say that. Nope. Bad idea.

  So instead he sat there for several minutes typing and deleting, typing and rereading and deleting and retyping again. What in the world was she doing to him? Time to back track or go bolder. He let out a frustrated Gah!

  So, about that gala. Don’t worry about it. I know it’s a holiday weekend and you’ll probably be gearing up for finals. I’ll give the tickets to my brother and his wife. My parents are already watching Brendan, and they’ll love having the other grandkids too.

  He hated pedaling backwards into safety. He’d been enjoying their little exchange and would have loved to continue it, but he also knew that it was tricky. Josh knew exactly how he felt about Brynn, and it was growing deeper with every interaction. But he had no idea how she felt about him, other than she adored his son and was seemingly open to a friendship of sorts. With all the mistrust in relationships in his own past and hers, he’d have to proceed slowly and with caution or she could potentially carve out another chunk of his already messed up heart.

  Brynn

  To reply or not to reply, that was the question. His last text had been a bit of a let-down after its predecessor. But, of course, her rational little self beamed with pride that he’d apparently come to his senses and circled the conversation back to a sensible place. The little happy voice that was enjoying all those butterfly flutters was protesting like a petulant child.

  Well, obviously, she couldn’t go to the gala. Even with Gina, a fancy event like that was something you definitely took a boyfriend to. Or at least told him about. Even if you already knew he’d give some list of excuses about homework and projects and not having the time or a nice enough suit. Even if you had the perfect vintage inspired dress that you’d bought on sale a few months back because it was exactly your favorite color and cut, with the perfect boat neck in front and low-V back, hitting at just the right spot above the knees and flaring out from the waist in a flawless blend of sophistication and sexy. And even if you had the absolute perfect shoes to go with it all, shimmery and silver with little sassy bows at the heel and a matching clutch that you just happened to find in your grandmother’s stash of vintage awesomeness.

  No. She definitely could not even think of going to such an event without Caleb. And she certainly couldn’t think of going with him. No, she sighed, I definitely won’t be going to that gala. That little petulant child in her head was stomping her feet.

  Gina, what did you do?! She texted her friend.

  Her phone rang a moment later. She answered to Gina’s slightly wicked sounding chuckle.

  “I have no clue what you’re talking about,” she kept laughing in Brynn’s ear, all false innocence.

  “Uh huh. WHY would you give my personal cell number to one of the parents in our program?!”

  “Oh, honey, you know he’s more than just a parent in our program. That man has it bad.”

  “Gina! Focus! Why did you give him my number? That is all kinds of inappropriate!”

  “Psh, whatever. So,” she paused with an exaggerated huff, “he asked you to go to a gala he’s been organizing? Why was today the first I’ve heard of it?”

  “Because I didn’t plan to go. And he didn’t ask me, ask me. He had been given several tickets and offered two of them to me and you,” she emphasized that last part a little too hard.

  “But not to you and Caleb? Why’s that?�
��

  Brynn hesitated before sheepishly replying with the truth, “because…he…doesn’t…know…about…Caleb.” She released a big, fat breath through puffed cheeks that burned with embarrassment.

  Laughter rang out in her ear. Gina sounded positively maniacal.

  “Shut up, Gina,” Brynn warned with a half-laugh.

  “Oh, girl, puh-lease. That man is all hot, and he likes you. I know you’re with Mister Safe and all, but I know you too well. You can try to deny it, and you may not want to like him, but you do. Why keep fighting it so hard?”

  “I. Have. A. Boyfriend. I. Am. Not. A. Cheater.” She spoke with emphasis as if each word were its own sentence. “It’s not appropriate to date one of my students’ parents. Caleb is a great guy and doesn’t deserve me flirting behind his back, so I won’t do it. Josh is a great guy with an amazing kid and they don’t deserve to be led on when nothing can happen. Should I keep going?”

  “Look,” Brynn heard Gina’s huff of exasperation, “all I’m saying is there is definitely something there between you two. We’re talking sparks all over the place. That is not something you see every day. But it’s more than that. I’ve seen the way he looks at you—how he watches where you are and even walks you to your car sometimes. I’ve seen you watch him, too, like you’re aware of where he is in the room even if you’re busy with other kids. I know that Brendan is your favorite, by far. You love that boy like a mama bear even though you try to keep it to yourself.

  “There’s more than just sparks, there’s potential, you know? I’ve seen you with Caleb, and how Caleb is with you. You’re right that he’s a great guy and he does deserve happiness. I just have to be real with you and say I don’t think you’ll ever be each other’s happiness. Something is missing there, hon. Be honest with yourself. Ignore all the doubts you have after Aiden messed with your head. Climb out of the Caleb safety net, for both your sakes.

  “When you go back to that list you’ve always gone on and on about, what is it you really want? Quit checking off the little boxes, and really think about how you want your life to be. The love I know you want is more than safety and items on a check list. You want that still-in-love-after-50 years, life-long adoration and partnership kind of love. Josh may not be The One, but I think you know Caleb isn’t. I’m probably overstepping our friendship here, but I love you like my own family. Maybe more, because my actual sister is crazy.”

  This brought a chuckle from Brynn, who knew it was true. She felt the same way. She wiped a fallen tear from her face and forced herself to smile a little.

  “I know, and I love you too, G. I get what you’re saying, but it’s so much harder than it sounds. It’s easy to say, ‘dump Caleb and give Josh a chance,’ but in reality, it’s not that simple.”

  “What did Daddy Hotness have to say, anyway?” a teasing glint to her tone, Gina obviously wanted to lighten things up. God bless her.

  “He asked how I was feeling, we made a few Princess Bride jokes—”

  “Ugh, I will never understand your love for that movie,” Gina interrupted.

  “—and then he admitted he was thinking of me, and promptly changed the subject to let me know I am off the hook for the gala, not that I was ever on the hook, mind you.”

  “So, he was flirting with you and then chickened out?”

  “Um, kind of? I don’t know. It’s not the first time.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Brynn filled her in on Brendan asking her about the Lobo game ambiguously and then the non-date invitation to the gala in the first place. She hesitated a moment, debating with herself, before acknowledging they’d had a few other happenstance run-ins and conversations.

  Gina breathed out a low whistle. “Oh, this is bigger than I thought! I think he’s working up the nerve to ask you out for real.”

  “You think? I don’t know,” Brynn frowned and twisted her pursed lips in thought. She thought about the different conversations and chance encounters they’d had already and wasn’t convinced. He was probably just a friendly guy.

  Riiiiiiiiiiight.

  Brynn’s mother rapped her knuckles on the doorway at that moment. Brynn told Gina to hang on, then made eye contact with Marla.

  “Honey, it’s getting late. Dad and I are going to bed, and you probably should think about it, too, after being sick this week.”

  “You’re right, mom. What are you and Daddy doing tomorrow?”

  “Oh, we’re probably going for a drive up the Sandia Crest to admire the fall colors. If you want to tag along, you’re welcome, but don’t feel like you have to. Trey’s got tentative plans with JT, so you can just clean up your rodent nest here and get better, okay?” She winked with a smile and then gave Brynn her usual single-eyebrow raised mom-look pointedly toward the messy couch.

  “Will do, momma. Love you.”

  Her mom nodded and tossed her the ASL sign for “I love you” in return—thumb, index, and pinkie up and middle two fingers down. Brynn smiled and signed back.

  “Gina, I’m exhausted. Thanks for talking with me about all of this. I need to go think about it and pray. I don’t know what I’m doing these days and everything feels so out of control. With all the decisions I’ve needed to make about school, I don’t have much brain power left to process emotional relationship stuff. One thing at a time, you know?”

  “I know. I’ll be praying, too. Just remember I want you to be happy. In all the parts of your life. Okay, so on that note, let’s forget boys and make plans for another girls’ night. I’m thinking chick flick at the dollar theater, after we gorge ourselves on a mountain of nachos from Sindee’s.”

  “Oh, lordy, Gina, are your trying to kill me? I’m just getting the smell of the toilet bowl out of my nose! Don’t even talk to me about greasy cheese and chips just yet!”

  Her stomach let out a comically loud growl that made Gina laugh.

  “Yeah, right. Your stomach just said it’ll be ready in a day or two. Maybe after Thanksgiving.”

  “Okay,” Brynn relented. She actually did want to spend some time with her bestie. “After Thanksgiving.”

  They said their goodbyes and Brynn ended the call.

  So much to think about.

  Tomorrow. Including this ROUS nest on the couch. Brynn stretched to her feet and wrapped her giant blanket around her once more, dragging the end of it behind her to her bedroom. Like a wrapped mummy she flopped on the bed and promptly fell asleep.

  Chapter 20

  Josh

  The afternoon was chilly but invigorating for the Lobo football team’s last home game of the season. Fans had come out of the woodwork after a solid season, and the roar in the stadium lent an energy that would probably push Brendan over the edge any second.

  “DAD! When are they going to kick off? Is it time yet?!” Sure enough. His wiggly child was going to bounce right off the bench. Or at least knock over his hot dog.

  Josh glanced at his watch and reached down to pull Brendan into his lap. He squeezed his arms around his little boy and the overwhelming urge to never let go swept over him. How could he be five and a half already? Where did the time go?

  “Dad! You’re squishing me!” Josh chuckled at Brendan’s dramatic fake-choking sounds. “Can’t,” pant, pant, “breathe.” Brendan wiggled harder to get out of Josh’s embrace and he set the boy back on the bench, ruffling his hair.

  “Okay, okay, kiddo. Sorry, but you’re just getting too big.” He glanced at his watch, “They’ll announce the players any minute, buddy.”

  By half time, Brendan had downed his entire hot dog, half of Josh’s large soda, a bag of popcorn, and made at least three trips to the bathroom.

  “Can we get some ice cream, now?” those adorable puppy dog eyes blinked up at him, pleading.

  “Where is it even going to fit?!” Josh asked, wide eyed with a grin.

  “Gram says I have a hollow leg. Maybe it can fit in there?”

  That made Josh burst out laughing. Hi
s mother used to tell him the same thing when he was a kid. Brendan’s giggles joined his laughter just as the crowd began to roar and UNM’s star wide receiver caught a perfect spiral and took off toward the end zone. Both of them stood to their feet, Josh pulling Brendan up on to his shoulders and they spent the rest of the game cheering their boys to a win.

  As Josh tucked Brendan in to bed that night, he was overwhelmed at how fast his little boy was growing up. They’d had so much fun at the game, and it finally started to seem like Brendan understood what was going on. While he was saddened that his little boy wasn’t so little anymore, the hope of all the ways he could share his hobbies and life with his son grew.

  He was pulled from his thoughts by Brendan’s little voice, sleepy, but wistful.

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah, bud?”

  “I had fun today. The game was really cool.”

  “Me too. What was your favorite part?”

  “When Fuller took off with the ball and made that touchdown. Everybody was screaming! And the ice cream.”

  With a smile, Josh agreed, “Yeah, that was good ice cream, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Brendan’s voice was smaller, “Dad?”

  “What’s up?”

  “Do you think I’ll ever get to be a big brother?”

  Well, that question had come out of nowhere. Josh’s heart sank and he had no clue how to answer that. A little help, here, God?

  “Um, that’s not a question I can answer, buddy.”

  “How come?”

  Josh scratched his chin as he searched for the right words, “Well, you need both a mommy and a daddy to have a baby, so I’d have to be married first.”

  “But you and Mom weren’t married when you had me, right?”

  “No, but we had you before I knew Jesus. God says moms and dads should be married first, but I wasn’t listening to Him back then.”

  Brendan seemed to consider this a moment.