“You’re preaching to the choir, honey,” was my wry reply. “But you heard the speech in there. They’re not going to do anything about it. They think they’re safe in this little hidey hole.”
Astrid let out a frustrated groan. “Then I think it’s best that we prepare ourselves as much as possible.”
I looked at her appraisingly. I liked her. She was so different from Madison and incredibly different from Kaya but I already liked her. There was something about her that reminded me so much of Liam, and it showed why they bonded so quickly. She was a survivor just like him. “Agreed.”
Astrid smiled at me before turning back to the cows. “Good. Because I have no idea what Razi Cylon is going to serve us, but I want to be ready for it when it comes.”
TRAINING BEGAN ALMOST immediately. I had to give credit to Octavia and her team. She may not have wanted to launch an attack on Sekhmet – an action I would have supported – but she backed up her promise to further prepare the place for an attack and the evidence came quick. There were sign ups in the dining hall at breakfast the next day. Liam and Ash were amongst the first sign up, with me right behind them. Astrid signed up as well, despite Liam insisting that she stay out of it. She threw him a withering look and signed her name with a flourish. The two that surprised me the most were Corbin and Kaya.
Kaya had marched over to the list and signed up with a fierce look on her face. The pen pressed so hard to the page that it poked a hole through it. She was the first Sanctuary born citizen to sign up and a few others lingered near the list after she walked away. The rest of us followed her as she walked away, filling her breakfast tray and taking a seat at our regular table.
“Kaya?” I asked, curiously, sliding onto the bench next to her. She dipped her spoon in her oatmeal calmly, barely registering that the rest of us were staring at her. “Kaya, do you know what that list was for, right?”
“Of course I know what I signed up for.” Kaya’s voice was even as she replied. Her eyes met Corbin’s and a flush filled her cheeks. “I don’t know if you guys remember, but my brother died. He. Died. And he died to protect this place. I don’t really plan on sitting around and letting others do the same if I can learn to protect myself.”
The rest of looked at each other, sheepish looks on our faces. I knew they, like me, often forgot how strong Kaya could be. She was quiet and shy, sure, but she was resilient and her brother’s death had rocked her hard. Even with Corbin sitting next to her, she looked like she was fighting to sit up straight. Her eyes looked less red than the last time I had looked, but I had heard her crying quietly in her sleep the night before and I felt helpless. Learning to shoot a gun, or how to take someone down with a well-placed kick would be good for her.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh,” Kaya spoke up, putting her spoon down. She sighed and her eyes met mine. “I just…I get stuck looking at you, all the time, Zoey.” I looked at her curiously and she sounded embarrassed as she continued. “You’re a fighter. I’ve heard that you can shoot a gun and you know how to fight. And I think, if she can be covered in scars like that, and she knows how to take care of herself…what on earth would the Awakened do to me if I came face to face with them?”
A blush rushed through the raised scar on my face but I had to admit, she had a point. Kaya was not equipped to deal with anything outside of these walls. I had spent years being forced into various lessons by the overprotective Chief Frank Valentine and even then, I had been utterly unprepared for what the Awakened would do to me. The evidence was all over my body, not just in the ugly scar pulling across my face. No matter how hard I fought, I had still lost and bore the marks of those losses. I was lucky to walk away from these situations with my life. Kaya may not be as lucky.
“Well, I think it’s a great idea,” Corbin spoke up. Ash, Liam and I exchanged amused looks as Corbin reached for Kaya’s hand. There hadn’t been a book in sight the past few days and the two of them had stayed glued to each other’s sides. Astrid hadn’t known any different but seeing Corbin out from behind the cover of a book was a rare sight and it was no secret why. Kaya.
“Thank you,” Kaya said, softening.
It turned out, unsurprisingly, that Kaya was god awful at everything we did in training.
But it didn’t matter. She showed up every single day. She ran and fought and she tried again and again and again. I would find her in the hallway outside our room, practicing kicks and punches. She would stay late after classes and shoot at targets for hours. Her hands were covered in sores and blisters and they were constantly popping. She was plastered with bandages and you could constantly see the blood through the sheer material.
No one worked harder than Kaya. Even though she was starting at a disadvantage compared to the rest of us, with absolutely no experience at all, she didn’t let that get her down. She was still timid, shy and unsure outside of those classrooms but as soon as we hit the mats, she was focused and determined. She practiced every punch and every kick until her skin was broken and bleeding, until her muscles screamed and she hobbled up to bed.
After everything that had happened, it was amazing to watch. She never once opened her mouth to complain. Occasionally her mouth would draw tight in a straight line or a flash of pain would ripple through her forehead, but she never cried, she never complained, she never made a peep. No one else said a word. No one else felt right complaining, not when she worked so damn hard.
Kaya had turned out to be a fighter.
And even I had to admit that I was damn proud of her.
***
“TRAINEE VALENTINE!”
The loud voice of the combat instructor interrupted my thoughts. Ash and Liam were standing a few feet away from me, talking under their breaths. Things had kept getting better between Ash and I, and I had to admit my skin was on fire every time I was near him. It had been a while since we’d had a good make out session and I was totally feeling the neglect. Ash’s eyes caught mine and a grin spread out across his face. He winked at me, sending a shiver up my spine, and returned to his conversation with Liam as if he hadn’t just sent me spinning.
I was so relieved that they got along so much better now but it always made me nervous when they spent time together like that. I knew how much trouble each one of them was capable of and the idea of them teaming up together was both scary and exciting.
“Valentine! Look alive!”
Our instructor was standing over me, looking less than pleased. I tore my gaze away from Ash and Liam and looked up at him. He reminded me of my dad; tall, built and determined. He took no crap in this room. It always sent a pain through my heart to think of my dad, the way he had taught me to throw a punch and how he never hesitated to flip me onto my ass, just because he could.
“Yes, sir?” I asked, wiping my palms on my pants. We were given different outfits for training and it felt so good to get out of the black uniforms of Sanctuary. These clothes were stretchy, and tighter fitting than our usual clothes but they were comfortable and even though they were gray, it felt like I was wearing a bright color compared to the dull black I’d been used to for the past few months.
“Matthews over here tells me you have quite a bit of experience with hand to hand fighting. I’ve yet to see any of this in the class. Care to share why you kept this vital piece of information a secret?”
I tossed an impatient look over at Ash, who merely grinned wider in response. “I took some classes back in New York. I wouldn’t say I’m experienced.”
“Liar,” Ash teased.
I made a face and turned my attention back to the instructor, who was looking at me impatiently. He was much older than my dad was, but he was tall and broad and he had a no nonsense look on his face that was so familiar that I was torn between laughing and bursting into tears. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. “Was there something I could assist you with, sir?”
“Step forward, onto the mats.” I followed his instruction, aware of all the eyes on me. I too
k a deep breath, trying to picture the small martial arts studios I had trained in back in New York. It was just another day. Just another class. The instructor paced around me, studying me and I fought the urge to wince. I knew I was out of shape and I knew that most of the muscle I had built up had disappeared. I was nothing but a walking stick figure. Even a few months of decent food at Sanctuary hadn’t brought me back to what I used to be.
“Matthews, you ever fight this girl before?”
“Sir, I try not to get on her bad side. That tends to work out better for me,” Ash joked and everyone laughed. There was a quirk at the corner of the instructor’s mouth and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Ash had a way of charming everyone, even hard combat instructors.
“Well, the two of you are obviously comfortable with each other, so why don’t you show us what you guys know?”
Ash’s grin faded for a moment and I nearly laughed. Last time the two of us had sparred, I’d flipped him back on his back. Hard. I didn’t know if I was still capable of doing it as quickly as I had last time, but I knew I was still stronger and quicker than him.
I faced him and we stared at each other, circling. I waited for him to make the first move. Ash always made the first one. He was the quarterback. He called the plays. He was all about action.
Sure enough, a moment later, he was lunging for me. I dodged his punch and he went flying past me. I nearly giggled at the sight and lifted my leg to send a kick to his gut. To my surprise, he blocked it and I had to step back to regain my balance.
“Ooh, Zoey, didn’t expect that one, did you?” Kaya’s voice was full of laughter and even though it was incredibly distracting, it felt nice to hear her laugh.
The distraction from Kaya was enough. Ash threw another punch and as I went to go dodge, his leg connected with mine and I went sprawling to the ground, landing with a thump on the hard mat. The fight had lasted less than 30 seconds and somehow, crazily enough, my boyfriend had managed to land me on my ass.
Ash leaned over me, an earsplitting grin on his face. It was a gloating smile and I glared at him, even as he helped me to my fight. “Shut up,” I said, rubbing the sore spot just above my butt.
“You know, they told me that you were some kind of badass fighter, Miss Zoey, but after that, I don’t think I believe them.”
My eyes grew wide and I turned around, unsure if I’d heard that familiar voice correctly. When my eyes met his, I didn’t pause. I ran across the room and threw myself into his arms. We had never shown that kind of affection to each other but I would never feel anything less than love and gratitude to the man who had saved my life, who had saved Ash’s life. “Bert,” I said, hugging him. “What on earth are you doing here?”
He lowered me to the ground. “Seems like there’s a lot of noise going on over here. A lot more Awakened around than there was before. I decided I’d come take a look and see what is going on.”
I raised an eyebrow at him and his brow furrowed. He tried to pretend that he was a grumpy old man with nothing to say but I knew better. “And your daughter?”
He sighed. “Yeah, I can’t expect that she’ll be that happy to see me.”
She wasn’t. I had never seen Octavia struggle to keep her composure before. It seemed, no matter what position of power you held, you always felt a little underwhelmed when you were around your dad. Bert didn’t speak much, which wasn’t unusual for him, but he didn’t seem entirely pleased at the way things were going in Sanctuary. Dead bodies, missing patrols and a lack of action weren’t exactly congratulatory. She kept wringing her hands out and biting her lip. I felt almost bad for her, but it also felt sort of nice to see her nervous and anxious. She was too confident about her way of running things and that was frustrating.
Seeing her look less than confident around her dad? I had to admit it put me in a good mood.
My day was even better when Kaya came up to Ash and I just as we were finishing dinner that night. She ducked in between, startling us both.
“Sorry,” she said, wincing. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to stay in Corbin’s room tonight.” The two of us stared at her blankly and she shook her head, rolling her eyes. “Meaning that we would like to be alone.” Her face flushed.
“Um, that’s not exactly allowed, Kaya…” I said.
“I won’t tell if you won’t,” she cut in, tossing me a knowing look.
Ash stared at her, his brows furrowed. “What the heck? Where the hell am I supposed to go?”
Kaya paused for a beat, waiting. Then, like a light bulb, it lit up for both of us. We turned to each other and I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face.
We were going to have the room all to ourselves tonight, for the first time in months. It felt like a gift. I knew that Kaya was only doing it so she and Corbin could have some alone time together, but it didn’t feel like that. It felt like she had handed me the best present in the world and it wasn’t even my birthday.
I leapt up and threw my arms around her. “You just might be the coolest person that I’ve ever met.”
She staggered a little under my unexpected hug but just laughed. “Get out of here, idiots.”
THE PROSPECT OF spending alone time with Ash after so long was the best gift that I could have ever been given.
We practically raced from the cafeteria, through the corridors and back to my room. We were finally getting the chance to spend some time together, just the two of us, outside of broom closets and dark corners.
The two of us stared at each other uneasily. I perched nervously on my bed, suddenly very aware that we were very much alone and that no one was planning on disturbing us tonight. The idea both thrilled and scared me. It wasn’t like Ash and I hadn’t had sex before but it had been awhile and I could feel the nerves coming on.
Ash crossed the room and sat on the bed next to me and I could feel the heat coming off him in waves. There were mere inches between us but they didn’t matter. It felt like he was pressed up against me and he hadn’t even touched me. “Zoey, are you okay?” he asked, a concerned look on his face.
I nodded, my head bobbing up and down. I was sure I looked ridiculous. I stopped abruptly and flushed. “Oh god, why am I so nervous right now?”
He laughed, scooting closer to me on the bed. “We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to.”
I raised my eyebrow at him and he smirked. My fingers lifted, wanting to touch the corner of his mouth where it turned up. There was something about that smirk that sent a wave of desire through my body. “That is not the problem.”
“Then what is the problem?” he asked. His fingers were reaching for me, playing with the ends of my hair. It was barely there, so gentle, but it felt like he had touched me with a lightning rod. I responded to his touch, leaning closer to him.
“You make me nervous,” I admitted, my lips hovering near his.
“Nervous?” Ash asked, incredulously. His lips were tracing light kisses on the sensitive spot below my ear and I shivered in anticipation. “I’m your boyfriend. Why would I make you nervous?”
“It’s a good kind of nervous,” I managed to whisper as his head dipped lower. His fingers played at the hem of my shirt before lifting it and pulling it over my head. The air was cool on my skin but his hands left a burning trail. I could feel his smile as his tongue darted out at the pulse of my neck.
“Good,” he whispered back. His hand came up to grab me gently by the back of the neck as he pulled me into him.
When he kissed me again, it was deeper, slower, so different than when he’d kissed me frantically in the corridors just a few days ago. They were deliberate and I felt them all through my body. His fingers were tracing my skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. I shivered. My breath escaped in gasps every time he pulled away, like I could never get enough air, not while his lips were pressed to mine. He pulled away, his hand wrapped tightly around the back of my neck and his eyes met mine. The
re was so much love in his expression, as if he could never get tired of looking at me. It filled me with warmth. No one looked at me like he did. No one else ever would. I reached for him, stroking his cheeks, feeling the soft stubble against the roughness of my palms.
My thumb grazed his bottom lip and he closed his eyes briefly, letting out a low groan that I felt all the way into my belly. I pulled him into me, needing his taste again. The kisses grew deeper and deeper. His hands were everywhere, spread across my back, lost in my hair, fingers digging into my shoulders as he pulled me closer to him. Everything that had been pent up between us over the past few months was pouring out now into each and every kiss. Every kiss screamed, I love you, I love you, I love you.
My hands pulled at his shirt and I yanked it over his head, tossing it in the general direction of Kaya’s bed. Ash’s skin was hot against mine, and pleasure rippled through me as my hands felt the hard muscles of his chest and the dips and rivets of his abs. I had missed this so much; it felt so good to touch him again. I sighed, content, and Ash let out a low chuckle.
“Don’t laugh at me,” I said, scattering kisses along his jawline.
A groan rumbled through his chest and the smile on my face grew into a full-blown grin. It never grew old, knowing that I was the one who could make him feel this way. I scooted backwards, lying on the bed, pulling him on top of me.
“Never,” Ash replied. He was breathing heavily, and his hands were dipping into the waistband of my pants. I gasped, lifting my hips, encouraging his exploration. “Why are you still wearing these?”
I leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “I like it much better when you take them off.”
Ash shivered but propped himself up, making it easier for him to snap the button open and start sliding the pants down my legs. It felt stupid to care but having smooth, unshaved legs were not a priority in Sanctuary and I was suddenly very aware of the hair that covered my legs. I started to lean away but Ash’s hand gripped me tight around the back of my knee. He pulled my leg up and around his waist and a wave of pleasure went shooting through me as he pressed himself into me.
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