Into the Flames

by Multi-Author

  She snorted. “Yeah, right. I know you, remember? You’ve got it in your blood, just like my desire to be a firefighter is in mine. Are you saying you won’t get the job unless you move? What happened to the digital world and airplane travel?”

  “New York is where it’s happening right now,” he told her. “It’s a place for me to make contacts for stories, for sources for the things I need.”

  She shook her head. “This is getting us no place fast.”

  “So you’re saying, if I really love you, I’ll give up my career for you?”

  “Aren’t you asking the same of me?” she demanded.

  Noah didn’t answer. Instead, he threw back the rumpled sheet and climbed out of bed, stalking to the window. They’d left the curtains open, and the moonlight slanting in outlined his finely honed body and scattered glints of light on his disheveled hair. He wasn’t handsome so much as ruggedly good-looking, with a square-jawed face, dark eyebrows, and eyes a brown almost as deep as the hair on his head. They’d taken one look at each other, and it had been lust at first sight. That lust had morphed over time to a deep friendship and unexpectedly into love. Randi had dreamed of a future together, a family, building memories through the years.

  Who knew he’d be so adamant about her dream job? So unbending. At first, when she brought it up, he hadn’t said much. Probably because it was just a maybe at the time. There had been no openings in the San Antonio Fire Department at the time, and she thought now he’d been thinking there never would be. She hadn’t rained on his parade. Why did he want to rain on hers?

  He stood there without speaking for so long Randi couldn’t stand it.

  “Noah? Aren’t you going to say anything?”

  “Like what? My opinion hasn’t changed, and neither has the situation. You know how important this is to me.”

  “Same goes,” she reminded him, trying to speak over the stabbing pain in her heart.

  “Really.” His tone was flat, uninflected, a sure sign he was dealing with a lot of anger over this.

  “Okay, let’s talk about my job for a minute. What if I went to New York with you and was able to get hired on as a firefighter there? Would that make this work?”

  “Did you hear what I’ve been saying?” He practically vibrated with anger. “This is not a job for a woman, no matter where we live, especially one who says she wants to get married and have a family.”

  She scrambled off the bed and went to stand beside him. “There are plenty of men who are firefighters. They have strong marriages and great family lives. And I’m sure their wives worry about them, but they accept it because it’s part of the men they love.”

  “That’s different.”

  “Different? Different how?” Anger suddenly shot through her. “Wait a minute. Is this because I’m a woman and you don’t think women should be firefighters?”

  “It’s not…exactly like that,” he protested. But he still didn’t turn to look at her.

  “Then what exactly is it? Because, I have to tell you, that’s how it looks from here.” She dropped her hand and took a step away. “Holy crap, Noah. I never took you for such a chauvinist.”

  “I’m not.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “You know that, babe.”

  “Yeah? Just exactly how do I know that?” She stamped her bare foot. “And don’t call me babe.”

  At last, he turned to her, his naked body so glorious it took her breath away as always and nearly distracted her from the conversation. He put his warm hands on her shoulders and gave her a penetrating look.

  “You think I’m a bad person because I think the work is too hard, too demanding, and too dangerous for someone your size?” he asked. “Because I would be afraid for your life every single minute you were on the job?”

  “Firefighters work together and take care of each other.” She was trying not to be irrational about this. That wouldn’t win her any points. “Besides, what does my size have to do with it? I’m not exactly a skinny Minnie, and I’m in damn good shape. Plus, they put the trainees through grueling courses.” She looked directly into his eyes, catching them in the moonlight. “There’s always the chance I could wash out, you know. But, at least, I’d have tried.”

  “If you went for it, I don’t think you’d fail.”

  They were getting nowhere here. And her temper was sizzling through her no matter how much she tried to tamp it down.

  “Somehow, I don’t think you mean that as a compliment,” she snapped and turned away from him. “Well, fuck, Noah. Just fuck.”

  “That seems to be your favorite word lately,” he told her.

  “It fits just about any situation. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” She glared at him, her hands fisted on her hips. She tried not to think how ridiculous she might look in the semidarkness, naked, cursing at Noah.

  “Randi,” he began.

  “You know what this is?” she interrupted. “It’s a flashpoint.”

  He scowled. “Flashpoint?”

  “Uh-huh. It’s the temperature at which a particular organic compound gives off sufficient vapor to just ignite in the air.”

  “And that pertains to us how?”

  “This situation is like an organic compound for us. It hit the air and boom!” She made an exploding gesture with her fingers. “Flashpoint.”

  “I might have known you’d use firefighter terms.”

  “Why not?” she snapped. “You’re plenty damn hot under the collar.”

  “Ditto,” he threw back at her.

  They stood there, facing each other for a long, heated moment. Finally, Noah reached for her, but she took a step backward.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  “Randi, if we can just discuss this rationally, I’m sure you’ll come to the same conclusion I have.”

  If only he didn’t sound so damn condescending, she thought. At first, she’d been hurt he gave so little thought to her career goals, but now she was getting mad. And madder by the minute. Flashpoint didn’t begin to describe this situation.

  “Don’t patronize me,” she snapped. “I’ve wanted to become a firefighter for years. That’s nothing new to you. It was on the table from our first date. Did you think I’d just change my mind?”

  “I thought you’d be able to see reason,” he snapped back.

  “Reason? Reason? Is it reasonable for you to be able to follow your dream but not for me to follow mine? What the fuck is reasonable about that?”

  Noah raked his fingers through his hair again then turned back to the room. He grabbed his boxer briefs and jeans from the chair where he’d tossed them in the heat of sexual frenzy and yanked them on.

  “Oh. Running away?” she taunted. “That’s right. Just get the fuck out of here. I don’t agree with you, so all bets are off, right?”

  “It isn’t a matter of agreeing,” he growled. “It’s a matter of being sensible. When you’re ready to be sensible, you have my cell number. I don’t plan to change it.”

  “You might as well. I won’t be using it.” She grabbed the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around herself, unwilling to stand there naked any longer while he was fully clothed. Somehow, it made her feel vulnerable, and that was the last thing she wanted to feel right now.”

  “Fine.” He shoved his wallet and his cell in his pockets.

  “Fine,” she shot back at him. Clutching the sheet to her like an oversized sarong, she walked to the other side of the room, determined to stay as far away from him as she could.

  Looking around to make sure he’d picked up all his things, he turned and started across the room to her.

  Randi held up her hand. “Stop. Don’t come any closer. I mean it, Noah.”

  He blew out a breath. “Randi, I can’t walk out and leave things like this.”

  She scowled, holding onto her anger so she didn’t fall apart. “This is how you created them, so this is how you leave them. No, go on. Get out of here. Have a nice li
fe.”

  He stopped and stared at her, those rich-brown eyes filled with a mixture of confusion, desire, emotion, and, yes, even pain. Too bad. It was of his own making.

  “I’ll call you,” he said at last.

  “Don’t bother. And I mean that, Noah. We have nothing left to say to each other. Don’t make this any harder than it is.”

  Finally, when she was sure her self-control had been stretched to its limit, he walked out of the room and through her apartment. When she finally heard the front door open and close, she threw herself on the bed and let the tears come, scalding her eyes and her cheeks. She didn’t even make any attempt to mop them with the sheet.

  How had it come to this? They had been so happy. She’d had such great hopes for them.

  They had met at a party thrown by the EMT she worked with at the firehouse. Noah was a close friend of her partner’s brother, and they had clicked from the minute they’d laid eyes on each other. They were so good together in bed, she had hardly dared hope they would click in any other area. She’d had other disappointments, so she’d learned not to get her hopes up. Their relationship had taken on such a magical quality, she’d allowed herself to believe she’d finally found The One for her.

  She should have known things were too good to be true. Reality quickly set in. He was so excited when he got the job with the news agency he’d been after for a long time. He’d be relocating to New York, he told her, and it would mean a lot of traveling. However, he’d be home for long stretches between assignments, so they’d still have plenty of time together. Anyway, she’d be busy, too. Right?

  She told him how glad she was for him, how terrific it would be for him. But she’d just learned about an opening at the station house for a firefighter. She’d already applied and been accepted, and…that was when the shit hit the fan. Too dangerous. Too demanding. Not a job for a woman. She’d never before thought of Noah as chauvinistic, but maybe she’d somehow missed that. Maybe he was just afraid for her, but that wasn’t his choice to make. Things had just escalated from there.

  I love him, but I have to love myself, too.

  If she gave up this dream, she’d lose part of herself. Somehow, she’d just have to get past this.

  When all the tears had finally dried up, she hauled herself into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Time to get her shit together. Firemen didn’t cry, right? At least not in self-pity. And she was going to be the best damn firefighter this stationhouse had ever seen.

  Chapter Two

  Present day…

  Noah Cutler locked his car and paused at the entrance to Jimbo’s. The last time he’d been here he’d been at a party with Randi Alexander. Six years later, he was here for another party, aware she would again be here, and he was more nervous than he’d been since tracking a great white off the coast of Australia.

  If he had a lick of sense, he’d have turned down Jeff Nagle’s invitation to the party, begging off with an overload of work. But the man was still his best friend, despite the fact they saw each other so infrequently and their friendship had been relegated to phone calls and texts. Luckily, his current assignment had brought him back to San Antonio in time to celebrate his friend’s birthday with him. Living in New York and traveling the world hadn’t given him much chance of that up until now. Or, if he was honest, as much pleasure as he’d thought it would.

  But Randi would be there tonight. Randi, with her lush body, sun-streaked honey-colored hair, and eyes the color of rich bourbon. The woman he had once thought he’d be spending the rest of his life with. The woman I loved. He had replayed their last night together over in his mind so many times he was no longer even sure how much of what he remembered was truth and how much was his imagination.

  What he did know was he had made two major mistakes. The first was expecting her to chuck everything and follow him to New York on what could turn out to be a disastrous career choice. One where she had only uncertain options. The second was not believing in her and her ability to handle herself in the career she wanted. Badly.

  He’d just been so terrified of her putting herself in life-threatening situations, he couldn’t see past that fear. No matter how many times she assured him she would get appropriate training. No matter how many times she told him firefighters always worked as a team and had each other’s backs. No matter what she’d said, he hadn’t been able to get past that fear.

  They had left things between them so bad, so destroyed, he wondered if they even had a chance to get past all the residual pain. Both of them had been angry, neither one giving an inch. He might have hotfooted it out of San Antonio, but he had still kept track of her all this time. Quietly, through Jeff, who wisely never asked any questions. He knew she had excelled in her training and in her work. He would have expected nothing less of her. Now she was a proud, newly minted arson investigator, and the buzz was she was sharp, insightful, and on top of things. It seemed everyone asked for her when an investigation was needed.

  He’d never stopped loving her, or missing her, or wanting her. He hated the way they’d left things, but he hadn’t come up with a way to fix it. Every time he decided he’d suck it up and fly back to San Antonio to see if they could still repair their relationship that lay around them in tatters, another assignment came up for him. More and more time passed, until it seemed all he had in his life was the job he’d given up so much for and a hole in his heart he couldn’t seem to fill.

  Okay, he’d say hello, congratulate her on her success, and take the temperature of the situation. Maybe there was a way they could pick up all the broken pieces and put them back together. One problem, though. He still hadn’t changed his mind about her and firefighting. Maybe investigators didn’t rush into burning buildings, but they still stepped into a lot of dangerous situations. So, exactly how did he expect to fix this? Could he ever get himself past what he’d done and how he felt about her job?

  If you want her in your life, you will, asshole. Suck it up.

  Maybe he should just say hello, congratulate her, and move along.

  Oh, right. Who was he kidding here? Since he’d boarded the plane from New York to San Antonio, he hadn’t thought of anything except her. If the story he was working on hadn’t brought him back to San Antonio, would he ever have made the trip to see her again?

  No, because I’m a coward. Besides, she’s probably moved on with her life. I’m not even a blip on her memory chart.

  A knocking on his car window startled him out of his reverie. He looked out to see Chaz Krieger staring into the car. The man made a rolling motion with his hand, so Noah obligingly lowered his window.

  “Hey, guy. Long time no see.” Chaz stuck his hand through the opening.

  Noah shook it and nodded. “Sure has been.”

  “You’re looking damn good. Must be all that world traveling.”

  Noah laughed. “It does spice up one’s life.”

  “So,” Chaz drawled, “you planning to sit out here all night? Because, in case no one told you, the party is inside.” He took a step back. “Come on. I’ll even pop for a drink.”

  “Best offer I’ve had yet.” He raised the window and climbed out of the car. “Let’s do it.”

  The moment he pushed open the door to the bar, the intensity of the noise assaulted him. The place was jammed wall to wall with people, a hundred conversations crowding the air. Someone had apparently put some money in the old-fashioned jukebox because a melody was trying its best to make its way through the babble. Three bartenders were working as fast as they could to fill the orders of the people lined up four deep.

  Jeff knew a lot of people, and most everyone liked him. A lot. He was a top-notch cop, now a detective with the homicide division. He had friends in both the police and fire departments as well as the Texas Rangers. It seemed all of them had turned out for tonight’s celebration. Putting a grin on his face, Noah elbowed his way through the crowd to reach his friend who was surrounded by
well wishers, all of them, it seemed, trying to talk to him at the same time.

  “Still Mr. Popularity, I see,” Noah teased, giving his friend a light punch to the shoulder.

  “Noah! Holy shit, you really did make it.” He elbowed some room to give Noah a man-hug. “I thought you’d just continue to be a figment of my imagination.”

  “Wouldn’t have missed it.” Then he grinned. “At least, I hoped to make it.”

  “You’re here now. That’s what’s important.” He looked at Noah’s empty hands. “No drink? Let’s fix that right now.” He waved his hand at the bar and shouted, “Hey, Jimbo.”

  Jimbo Gratz, the heavyset man working the center of the bar and the owner of the place, looked up even as he continued to open three beers and hand them out.

  “What?” he mouthed. “You want another?”

  “For my friend here.” He pointed at Noah. “Corona Gold.”

  “I’ll get it,” Noah told his friend. “You need to stick here with your admirers.”

  Jeff laughed. “Yeah, admirers. Right.” Then his face sobered. “Can you hang back a while after everyone leaves? I’m off tomorrow, and we can get a late cup of coffee.”

  Noah nodded. “Sure. Just enjoy celebrating. Catch you later.”

  He made his way to the bar and grabbed the beer Jimbo held out to him. The man grinned, bumped fists with him, and went back to his work. Noah nodded at people as he worked his way through the crowd, exchanging greetings with the ones he knew. He wasn’t quite ready for conversation yet, not until he laid eyes on the one person he’d really come there to see. He scanned the crowd, trying to see if he could spot her, frustrated at the outrageous number of people crowded into the small space.

  And then there she was, over by one of the pool tables, talking to three men and another woman, all of them obviously straining to hear over the noise. He took the moment to feast his eyes on her, drinking in the sight of her. She had probably come straight from work because she was wearing a tailored jacket over a silk blouse and designer slacks. The moment he saw her, he knew with a certainty what a complete idiot he’d been to walk away from her. All the top stories in the world didn’t give him near the rush he got just by looking at this woman. There’d been an emptiness in his life, a hollowness that left him feeling incomplete no matter what he did. Not even the excitement of his job could overcome it.