Focus of Desire

by Kim Baldwin

  The throbbing in her clit intensified, and she threw back her head and closed her eyes, losing herself in the feel of Isabel’s mouth on her. Fuck, yes. Right there.

  Her thigh suddenly slipped between Isabel’s legs, and Kash looked hazily down to discover that Isabel had hiked up her dress. That long slit in the skirt proved invaluable, providing her thigh the opportunity for direct contact with Isabel’s sex.

  She pressed harder, firmer, into the warmth between Isabel’s legs, and felt the wetness of her arousal through the thin material of her trousers. She rocked her hips forward, slowly, purposefully, and glancing down, glimpsed the faint triangle of hair beneath the dress.

  The hitch in Isabel’s breathing hinted that in another minute or two, she would surely come.

  Kash was so far gone, so lost in Isabel, that she failed to hear the men approach until they were almost on top of them. “Isabel…I…” Straightening, she reluctantly released her hold on Isabel’s ass.

  Isabel barely heard Massimo and Ecco’s approach. The only sensation that mattered was the building pressure, an urgent, insatiable need for release greater than any she had known and more powerful by far than she had expected. She wanted Kash with a ferocity that scared her, made her feel wonderfully but dangerously out of control.

  When Kash pulled away from her, all she felt was the stab of loss, the ache of separation. She had been swept away completely in Kash’s arms, and the sudden return to reality made her reel. Not at all certain she could walk, she steadied herself against the low wall Kash had been sitting on.

  “Isabel, we need to go.” Kash forced herself to put a few feet of distance between them. This was not the time or place. Her clit was calling the shots, which was never a good idea, and they had company. She’d learned to somewhat accept having her own misdeeds splashed across the tabloids, but she would forever regret it if a picture of a compromised Isabel got into one of the rags because she couldn’t control herself.

  Massimo and Ecco started packing the rest of the gear without overtly paying them any attention. The two women were in the shadow of the wall, but Kash knew the men could see them clearly because of the ambient light from the Colosseum lights and the full moon. “Do you want to change?” Kash asked. She tried not to stare at Isabel’s cleavage, or lips, or into her eyes. If she did, she would surely take her right here and now, consequences be damned. Her body was on fire from their kisses and stroking, and she could still feel Isabel’s wetness on her thigh.

  “You know what I want,” Isabel answered in a breathy whisper the men couldn’t overhear.

  “We can’t.” Kash tried to still the beating of her heart. “Do you want to change or not?”

  Isabel sighed, accepting that Kash would not relent. At least for now. “Probably would be much easier walking out of here in the clothes I came in with.” She started unsteadily toward the dressing screen, but paused long enough to grip Kash’s shoulder as she passed. “You’d better finish what you started.”

  Imagining the possibilities, Kash felt another sharp stab of arousal.

  Chapter Fourteen

  A battle raged inside Kash as they returned to the van, though she gave no outward sign of it. The strongest voice commanded she treat Isabel the way she treated most women in her life. Fuck her good, get her out of your system once and for all, and move on. The caged frustration of their interrupted encounter, the memory of their previous coupling, and a growing need to resume her predictable way of life fueled that voice.

  Then Isabel’s words rang in her ears. I want whatever I can have with you.

  But Isabel was so sweet and real and honest that she deserved better.

  So maybe give her more than the usual twenty minutes or half hour. A nice dinner out first, and a full evening back at the suite. Some candles, champagne to fulfill any responsibility you may think you have. Then you can have what you want and not guilt yourself out about it anymore, and finally get her out of your mind.

  There was scant conversation in the van as they rode up the Via del Corso toward the hotel. Isabel sat next to her, and Kash could feel her staring, but she avoided prolonged eye contact by looking out the window. She was still like a lit fuse, and she knew if she allowed herself to focus on the desire and arousal in Isabel’s eyes, she wouldn’t be able to stop from taking her at the first opportunity.

  After they stopped to let Francesca off, Isabel and Kash were alone in the back. Isabel stroked Kash’s arm gently.

  Her sense of touch always became acutely heightened when she was aroused, and she couldn’t remember it being more so. The sensation along her arm reverberated throughout her body and jerked her right back to the edge of dangerously losing control.

  “Drop us here,” she said abruptly to Massimo, and he braked near the massive Piazza del Popolo, a short walk from their hotel. The square was busy with people: locals enjoying the warm summer evening and tourists admiring the Egyptian obelisk of Rameses II, the fountains at the center, and the historic churches at its edge.

  After the men had departed, Kash faced Isabel, whose expression was expectant. Oh, Isabel. You reach right inside of me and stir up something. “Let’s get some dinner, all right?” She was surprised at how normal she sounded. “I know a quiet place near here.”

  “Sure,” Isabel replied with delight, taking Kash’s arm. “I’m all yours. Lead on.”

  The completely alien and disturbingly delightful feel of Isabel’s hand gently resting in the crook of her elbow startled Kash. The gesture was far too intimate for her to initiate or even tolerate under normal circumstances, and she stiffened, but Isabel failed to notice.

  “Gosh, it’s such a beautiful night. The full moon, the warm Mediterranean breeze,” Isabel said as they strolled along. “Really couldn’t ask for anything more perfect.”

  Kash said nothing, let none of the continuing turmoil inside of her show. Perfect for you, maybe. But me? This isn’t me. I don’t do romantic. At least I haven’t before. Why do you make me want to do things, feel things, be things that are so contrary to all that is recognizable? Isabel caressed her arm again, and Kash wondered how such a small and simple gesture could feel so wonderful and terrifying at the same time. Although her every instinct told her to pull away, she decided to let it be, at least for now.

  “It’s still early, and it’s so nice to walk with you like this,” Isabel said. “I’m not really that hungry yet. Maybe we can soak in some of the sights before we stop?”

  “If you like.” Kash made it sound as though it mattered not in the least, like she did this all the time. In reality, though, every day she spent with Isabel made her feel more unsettled. This caring, sensitive woman was weaving a spell over her, and the incredible allure of Rome at night was playing right along. She was powerless to resist such a powerful combination.

  “I’ve dreamed so long about seeing Rome and Paris,” Isabel was saying, but it was difficult to concentrate on the words because, in addition to the hand on her arm, a warm body pressed up against her side as they ambled along. “It’s much better to share some of this with you than be alone.”

  Well, this was obviously an incredibly stupid idea. This diversion to dinner was supposed to make Isabel stop thinking there’s anything more to this attraction than a quick fuck. Now she’s getting all mushy and romantic. What was I thinking? I can’t deal with this.

  She was angry at herself for her error in judgment, for letting Isabel cloud her reliable ease of detachment. I can’t even bring myself to take my arm away, for Christ’s sake.

  But she had to do something. She didn’t want to hurt Isabel, but Isabel was reading far too much into this little walk. And her own enjoyment of this silly sentimentalism was entirely too disconcerting.

  They were walking along the Tiber River, when Kash halted abruptly beside a bench and pushed Isabel down onto it. She had to free herself from Isabel’s wretchedly magnificent embrace so she could think. Isabel seemed briefly surprised at the unexpected interrup
tion of their moonlit walk, but apparently content to let Kash set the course for their evening.

  “Listen, Isabel,” Kash began, as she started to pace in front of the bench, with Isabel her rapt audience. “This sharing Rome thing…I told you, I don’t do sharing. I don’t do romance, or dates, or whatever you’re turning this into in your mind. I thought I made that clear, but apparently you haven’t gotten the message.” She knew she sounded a little angry, and she was, but only at herself and her inability to cope with the chaos of emotions Isabel had churned up.

  “I…I didn’t mean to…I wasn’t…” Isabel’s face darkened in confusion.

  That reaction only compounded Kash’s determination to return to her comfortable routine, to push Isabel into the safe category of screw-them-then-forget-them that she had managed to put almost every other woman in her life into. It was already far too late for that, but she was desperate to find a way to get Isabel out of her system.

  “Whatever you thought, or meant, or wanted,” Kash continued, still pacing, “for me, it’s all about sex, always, and only about sex, or it’s about nothing at all. I want to make that clear. The choice is yours, but you can have no expectations beyond that, Isabel.”

  There was a lengthy silence before Isabel responded.

  “I’m sorry if I did or said something to make you think I have any notion about anything beyond this evening.” Isabel’s voice was soft, apologetic, but Kash couldn’t mistake the tone of hurt. “I enjoy spending time with you, and I let myself get a little carried away. I did mean what I said earlier, Kash. I won’t ask for more than you’re willing to give. I guess I thought that because you invited me to dinner, we were going to kind of make a date of it.”

  “Well, you were wrong. That’s not me.”

  “So now I know. It’s crystal clear. It was you who suggested dinner, Kash, not me, so I don’t know why you’re getting all bent out of shape.” Isabel glared at her. “All I want is sex. Is that what you need to hear? Are those the magic words for you?” she said with an almost childish petulance.

  “I don’t screw someone merely because they want to. If I did, I’d never get any work done. Or sleep, for that matter.” Kash knew she sounded arrogant, but she was angry, and frustrated, and damn it if Isabel wasn’t completely irresistible when she was petulant in the moonlight.

  “I didn’t imply that you did,” Isabel shot back. “If you’d slept with all the women who were throwing themselves at you in Paris, you’d still be there.”

  “Jealous?” Kash asked testily. Why am I asking her that? Since when did I care if she’s jealous or not?

  “Get over yourself,” Isabel replied, equally exasperated. How did this wonderful evening spin so out of control? She jumped to her feet. “Yes, you’re a beautiful woman, Kash, and you obviously know it. But you can also be a real pain in the ass. I said all I wanted was sex, but I’m not going to beg for it.” She stormed away.

  Isabel’s abrupt departure deflated Kash’s anger, but did nothing to stem the current of arousal that had been simmering since their heated kisses in the Colosseum. Well, that certainly went well, idiot. She sat on the bench for a full thirty seconds, watching Isabel’s rapidly retreating figure and debating with herself about whether to follow. Leave it. Let her go. It’s better this way, said the voice that always counseled distance and self-preservation. These methods had always helped her escape any situation that threatened loss of control.

  But that voice couldn’t compete against her body’s desire and that persistent, although extremely annoying, sudden conscience she had grown that hated to see Isabel hurt.

  She caught up to Isabel as she was threading her way through a throng of people on the nearest bridge, the Ponte Cavour, a picturesque span across the Tiber illuminated by a string of amber lights.

  “Isabel, wait!” Kash grabbed her arm and tried to get her to stop, but Isabel shook her off and kept walking. “Come on. God damn it!” She had to take long strides to match Isabel’s rapid acceleration.

  They were off the bridge and headed toward the hotel when Isabel stopped and spun around, her eyes glinting fire. She was breathing heavily from her retreat, and so was Kash, from trying to catch her. “What the hell do you want from me?”

  People were pushing past and around them. Kash spotted a narrow alley ahead, dimly lit and unpopulated, so she grabbed Isabel’s arm and propelled her roughly toward it.

  There they faced each other down like two boxers halfway through a bout, guard firmly in place, adrenaline pumping. Waiting to see who would get in the next punch.

  “I want…” Kash began, but the words died when she gazed into Isabel’s eyes. She had mistaken the fire she saw there for anger, but she could see now it wasn’t fury at all, but a combination of frustration and desire. It snapped the last fragile restraint holding her back.

  As she pushed Isabel up against the ancient brickwork that formed the walls of the narrow passageway, her mind went hazy.

  Isabel gave a startled cry, but didn’t object or resist when Kash grabbed both of her wrists and pinned them firmly to the wall above her head with one hand while she roughly cupped Isabel’s sex with the other.

  “You know what I want,” Kash said, her voice low and husky as she pressed their bodies together. Her mouth descended on Isabel’s neck.

  Isabel’s irate exasperation faded and her pulse quickened under the abrupt change in Kash. Here? Now?

  Her first experience with Kash had been jarring enough. But this? Isabel had never been the adventurous type sexually. Sex for her took place in a bed, involved a half dozen positions at most, and rarely lasted an hour. It was gentle, mostly predictable, and always an act between two people in private.

  Her naïveté in this regard certainly never prepared her for how immensely a rough and restrained quickie in a public alleyway in Rome where anyone might happen upon them could excite her.

  Kash’s warm breath on her neck and the hot, wet caresses of her tongue sent Isabel’s heartbeat into overdrive, but the press of Kash’s hand between her legs threatened to buckle her knees. Regardless of whether anyone might see them, she wished desperately they didn’t have any constrictions of clothing between them.

  Assaulted by a cavalcade of sensations—the rough brick against her hands, the blare of car horns in the near distance, the musky scent of Kash’s perfume, the furious drumming of her heart against the walls of her chest—she felt more completely and fully alive than she could ever remember.

  When Kash spread her legs apart with a firmly insistent thigh and began to fumble for the clasp of her jeans, Isabel gasped in anticipation, her body poised and eager for the deliverance of Kash’s hand.

  Nothing about this situation seemed familiar; she ached to return the almost frantic bites and nips that were sending her higher and higher, wanted to pull Kash even tighter to her, though that seemed impossible given the current crush of their bodies, and the fact that she could do neither was driving her mad. Suspended in a delirium of need, she surrendered fully to Kash’s control.

  “Kash…please…” It was hard to speak, hard to breathe, hard to reason. A sound escaped her, a whimper of desperation. “Please.”

  Entirely focused on the throbbing urgency for release, Isabel didn’t hear or feel the tug at her shirt, nor did she immediately register the soothing rush of air against the heated flesh of her chest and stomach. But Kash’s hungry mouth on her breast and the tug of teeth on her oversensitized nipple brought her to full awareness that she was exposed to the night.

  The loud bang of a window being thrown open, very close by, warned her that someone might be watching, and she was shocked to discover that the possibility only heightened her arousal.

  “Take me. Now. Please. Fuck me.” She pled loud enough to be overheard, which surprised her as well. Kash had unleashed a part of her she hadn’t known existed, a wanton and unfettered Isabel—no, Isa—that felt, that wanted, that craved much more powerfully than the old one ever dared. />
  Kash’s answer, from deep in the back of her throat, sounded more animal than human.

  “Please!” Isabel cried, afraid she would burst apart in the waiting. “Please!”

  Kash’s hand, when it finally found her, was every bit as gentle at that first touch of discovery as her mouth was rough on Isabel’s breast, and the contrast startled her. Cool fingertips skimmed slowly down along her stomach, raising goose bumps, then slipped beneath the silk of her panties and paused there briefly, as if to drive her to the very brink of herself.

  She rocked her hips forward and noisily exhaled the breath she had been holding when Kash’s hand descended into the swollen and ready folds of her sex.

  “So wet for me,” Kash whispered breathily in awe, and Isabel could feel her own fluid as Kash’s hand spread the evidence of her immense arousal over her clit in maddeningly light passes. “Just like the last time. You get so wet for me, it makes me crazy.”

  “Jesus!” she panted. “More, Kash. More!” She bucked her hips and strained against the restraint on her wrists, but Kash only pinned her down harder, until the rough brick began to scrape the back of her hands. And still, where she wanted it most, the touch was unbearably light and indirect.

  Her pleas became nonverbal—groans and sighs and thrusts of her pelvis—until all at once Kash impaled her, slipping into her wetness and filling her completely, almost lifting her off her feet. At the same moment, Kash’s thumb centered on her clit and held there, the strokes short and swift and torturously firm. She exploded, then, in the sudden rush of sensations from within and without, her orgasm so strong and powerful her body pulsed with it.

  She collapsed against Kash, struggling to catch her breath, her rapid heartbeat drumming in her ears and her clit throbbing. Her wrists were suddenly her own again, and she wrapped her arms around Kash’s neck, grateful for the support, her legs trembling, her body boneless.