Blue Love

by Mj Fields

  She smiled up at him, “I think you chose the wrong profession Green, you should have been an actor.”

  “Are you kidding me and miss this? Half acting,” he winked “the rest is real, I am going to show you what it’s like to be treated like a princess, and someday when you’re older, hopefully we can try it out for real.”

  Toby held the door open for her, “After you Princess.”

  Jade met them just inside the door and she saw Luke and the brunette walking in, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t Jade,” Tessa quietly said.

  “Hello Tessa, hey Tommy,” Luke said as he walked in behind them. “Tommy you remember Marie?” he said.

  “Hello Marie,” Tommy said, he looked at him as if to ask why.

  “Tessa this is Marie,” Luke said.

  Toby reached out his hand to Luke, “Hey I am Toby Tessa’s date and future husband,” he said laughing. Tessa grinned.

  “Oh really?” Luke asked sarcastically.

  “Yep, I have known Tessa for years, she has grown into a stunning young women, don’t you think?” Toby asked.

  “Yes she is,” Luke said. “Young being the operative word, Toby was it? And this is Marie I have known her for years,” he leaned towards Tessa and whispered into her ear, “Number one,” she could smell alcohol on his breath.

  She glared at him and whispered, “Very cool we both brought our number one, yours already used up, mine will be soon enough.”

  “You two need a minute?” Toby asked.

  “Nope we are done here,” Tessa said and took his hand.

  “Good because I don’t like to share,” Toby said as they walked away, he caressed her back and it rested on her rear. “You okay with this?” he whispered.

  She reached around and squeezed his ass, “You better plan on stepping it up Green.”

  He smiled “My pleasure,” they turned the corner he turned her around and kissed her and she held his face and kissed him back sweetly.

  Luke turned the corner and stopped and glared, “Get a fucking room!”

  Tessa smiled at Toby and said, “That was nice”.

  “Keep walking Links,” Tommy said gently pushing Luke towards the gym.

  “Yes it was,” Toby said.

  She stood and looked at him after they were out of ear shot. “I am sorry, this must be weird for you,” she said blushing.

  “I asked you to the dance before I knew all this Tessa, you’re hurting and I am here, and don’t think for a second that I am not enjoying myself. I have watched you for years grow into what you are today. I will be damned if I will let some punk screw with that perfect heart of yours. And that future husband stuff, file that under things to do after college,” he winked at her, “You kiss like an angel,” he kissed her head and took her arm and they walked down the hall into the gymnasium together.

  Jade and Tommy sat with Marie and Luke. Alex, Phoebe, Becca, and Joshua sat at the table diagonal from Jade and crew. “Let’s sit with Alex,” Tessa smiled.

  Tessa hugged Toby’s arm and they walked together. He pulled out her chair for her and she sat, he pulled a chair next to hers and pulled her into him. They all looked stunning, Phoebe was in a hot pink sleeveless dress that came to just above her knees. Becca wore a pale pink A-line dress. They all decided to go take pictures together.

  They stood in line for pictures, Tommy and Jade followed and so did Luke and Marie. The girls went together first. They did a Charlie’s Angels type pose and laughed. They did one arm and arm and one as they all jumped in the air.

  Luke watched her laugh and smile with them and noticed immediately when they jumped that Tessa wasn’t wearing a bra. Dead puppies he thought. As they walked off Tessa made eye contact with him, he looked crushed, he grabbed her arm “We need to talk”.

  “Let go of my arm,” Tessa sneered.

  “What do we need to talk about?” Tessa asked crossly.

  “You okay Tessa?” Toby asked, she smiled and shook her head.

  “Tessa you’re not wearing a bra,” Luke said looking angry.

  “I know it’s very freeing,” Tessa said smugly.

  “Do you have a coat?” he asked.

  “Luke, what do you want?” she asked.

  “You to forgive me,” he said matter of factly.

  She glared at him, “I have, let it be.”

  “If you had not left me for them this wouldn’t be happening,” he spewed.

  She was so pissed she leaned into him and whispered in his ear, “I got a bikini wax when I was there too.” She stepped back and looked at him trying to control his breathing, “That was for you,” she said raising her eyebrow. His mouth opened slightly as he breathed. “That pain, won’t be wasted tonight, have fun with Marie,” she said and walked away.

  Jade met her, “You okay?”

  Tessa smirked, “Never been better,” she grinned.

  She looked at Luke as he watched Tessa walk away, “I told him I wasn’t wasting the wax, where’s my date?” Jade pointed to the stage.

  ~

  All the parents were let in for the crowning of king and queen. Tessa’s mother and father took lots of pictures of Alex and Tessa, Alex and Phoebe, and Tessa and Toby. Luke watched as her mother hugged Toby as they all were smiling and laughing. Luke’s mother would not be there tonight, she had fallen back into the black hole. He was following her, as he always did, into the darkness. Tessa was beautiful and full of hate and it was his fault, and he hated himself for it.

  “Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, last year’s queen is unavailable to help me with this year’s crowning, she is currently in the Peace Corp or some silly thing like that,” Toby said as everyone laughed, “So tonight it will be just me.”

  Tessa, waited in line for court to be called. Phoebe, Jade and Becca took their flowers and Sadi stood next to Tessa waiting expectantly to be named queen. Sadi was called as first runner up and gasped and gave Tessa a dirty look. Tessa looked down trying not to appear rude holding back the childish desire to stick her tongue out at her.

  “And your Queen, my date,” Toby laughed, “Come up here angel.” Toby crowned her and gave her a quick kiss on the nose, “Stay up here and help me crown king,” he winked.

  It was down to Alex and Luke for king. Tessa was praying it was Alex she had to put the crown on. It wasn’t.

  Tessa placed the crown on his head and he looked at her with his sad eyes. “Congratulations Luke, now smile so your Mom can take your picture,” she said. He turned and flashed is dazzling smile pulling her into his side. “Luke please let go,” Tessa whispered as she smiled for the cameras.

  “Never,” Luke said as he turned and looked at her, his eyes burning through hers and then slowly released her.

  “Will the king, queen and court please step to the floor for their dance,” Toby asked.

  Luke took Tessa’s hand and led her to the dance floor. He stopped and whispered to the DJ and the DJ smiled and nodded. In Your Eyes started and Tessa looked down. Luke pulled her close, “This isn’t over Tessa, I love you and I know you feel the same?”

  Tessa’s heart pounded hard against her chest and finally she was able to pull her eyes away from him. Luke pulled her head to his chest and kissed her gently, “Stop it,” Tessa whispered and pulled her head back.

  Luke watched Tessa, his gaze was intense. Tessa looked for Luke’s Mom in the crowd and she wasn’t there. Tessa looked back at him. Why wasn’t she there she wondered.

  ~

  The rest of the night Tessa avoided Luke, she danced and had fun with her friends, occasionally she saw him and each time he was watching her.

  “Hey,” Alex said, “after the dance a bunch of us should go to camp” he said. Everyone agreed.

  Tessa had Toby stop by the house so she could change, she put on jeans and a long sleeve tee. She ran out and he had changed into jeans and was in the process of putting on a sweatshirt when she walked out. He was jacked, her jaw dropped and he looked at her. He laughed. “Damn Toby,”
slipped out of her mouth and he laughed, “My future husband is fine,” Tessa said and laughed.

  “And the Future Mrs. Green is hot as hell, and a Queen,” he said. “Jump on,” he said pointing at his back and she did. He carried her out to the car.

  The boys pulled in and jumped out to change, Luke was with them. She laughed and smacked Toby on the ass and yelled “Giddy up Cowboy,” he plopped her in and buckled her up. He grabbed a cowboy hat from the back and placed it on her head and tore out of the driveway. Luke swallowed hard and walked inside with the boys and changed.

  ~

  Tessa and Toby were there first, they started a bonfire and pulled a big lounge out and sat in it. He pulled her into him. They watched as a few trucks pulled in. Tessa started to get up and he pulled her back. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head, “Relax and enjoy Tessa.”

  They all walked down and sat around the fire, some their friends brought beer and Tessa asked for one.

  Toby laughed, “Your dad would have your fine little ass girl,” he laughed.

  “And he would have yours i he heard you say that,” Tessa said shivering.

  He whispered in her ear “Check this out,” he stood up and loudly said, “Angel you cold.”

  “Why yes I am,” she answered smiling. He slowly pulled his sweatshirt off and put it on her. “Better angel?” Toby asked.

  “Not quite yet,” she laughed. Everyone was looking and Luke was fuming mad.

  “I will be right back angel,” Toby smiled and kissed her cheek.

  “Holy shit Tessa he is freaken hot,” Jade said, and everyone except Tommy and Luke laughed.

  “He is, and he is nice, and he kiss’s...” she started.

  “Like what?” Toby asked picking her up and planting one on her.

  “Just like that,” Tessa said and laughed.

  The cooler was next to Luke, Tessa went to grab another beer and he closed the cooler with his foot. “Excuse me,” she said and laughed.

  “You’ve had enough,” Luke said sternly.

  Tessa pushed his foot off and grabbed one and slammed it and threw the can at his feet. She grabbed another and did the same. Tessa went for another and Luke slammed it again. She shoved his foot off and grabbed three and walked away. She sat down and glared at him and he at her.

  “Thirsty Angel,” Toby asked and laughed.

  “Yes,” Tessa said. Toby laughed at her and pulled her on his lap.

  “Tessa,” he said and grabbed a blanket and covered them up, “Slow down.”

  “No,” she pouted, “Shouldn’t you be kissing me?”

  He pulled away and looked at her, “No regrets, no awkward moments after tonight. I am not rebound material Tessa, I am a keeper and you angel deserve to be kept. But one more kiss for me,” His kiss was soft and caring. She enjoyed it very much. “How was that Tessa?” he asked.

  “Beautiful,” she whispered.

  “Do you need more?” he asked.

  “No Toby I can wait,” Tessa said and he smiled. She knew that was exactly how he meant for it to be.

  Toby uncovered their faces and smiled at her lovingly. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest and fell asleep.

  “We are out of beer,” Mark said.

  “There are three over here, she doesn’t need them,” he said stroking her hair. He looked at Luke and shook his head slowly. Luke knew that this man cared for her, but it didn’t make this any easier. He broke her, she told him so, and now Toby was going to fix her. Because I don’t know how, he thought. He stood up and walked to Tommy.

  “Hey man, I am going to go down to the cabin and crash, you staying here?” Luke asked.

  “Ya Alex is too,” Tommy said.

  “Alright see you in the morning,” Luke said.

  “How can you talk to him?” Jade asked.

  “Pretty girl, he’s my friend, I have known him all my life, and I love him like a brother,” he said. Jade saw the hurt in his eyes and understood.

  “Ok,” she said. “Ok,” she kissed him and he moaned. She smiled, “four and a half more months there hot stuff.”

  “It’s going to kill me; do you have any clue how amazing you looked tonight? Now? Every day!” Tommy asked.

  Jade smiled and answered, “Yes I do” and laughed.

  Chapter 13

  Toby picked up Tessa and carried her down to the cabin and laid her down. He kissed her cheek “Sleep angel, I’ll be back.”

  Luke had heard him leave and got up and climbed down the ladder from the loft. He sat and stared at her, she was an angel. Luke lightly rubbed her hand. Her skin was so soft, her lips full and beautiful. Her hair was tousled and a strand hung down her cheek, he lightly pushed it off her face. He desperately wanted to hold her but knew it wasn’t okay. He bent down and kissed her lips lightly. Her mouth opened slightly. He pulled at her bottom lip with his lips gently. “Luke,” she whispered “I love you,” she was still sound asleep and a tear fell down her face. Luke gently kissed it away. Her heard the door and climbed up the stairs and lay in bed.

  ~

  Toby lay in bed next to her, and held her in his arms. She opened her eyes. “Sorry Tess did I wake you?”

  “No I had a dream,” Tessa said.

  “Wasn’t about me was it,” Toby said.

  “No, it wasn’t,” she admitted.

  “Tess what happened?” Toby asked.

  “It’s complicated, very, very complicated,” she said.

  “Do you want to share?” he asked.

  “I don’t know, I feel weird telling you my issues with him,” Tessa admitted.

  “Oh no Tessa this is me. You and I have known each other forever, don’t start acting funky on me I won’t let things be weird. I asked you to the dance and quickly figured out why you had no date,” he said laughing.

  “What gave it away, I mean at first?” she asked.

  “When you sent me to ask Alex permission should have been my first clue, the Tess I know and love doesn’t ask permission for anything,” Toby laughed. “But that didn’t give it away, it was the quarterback, when I asked Alex for permission the quarterback sneered no you can’t at me through clenched teeth,” he laughed.

  “Seriously?” she laughed.

  What did you expect Tessa, you set me up Luke thought.

  “So did you have ..?” Toby started to ask and she interrupted him.

  “Toby! You’re really going to ask me that?” she said.

  “Why not?’ he asked.

  Because it’s none of your fucking business dick, Luke thought.

  “No actually I even got drunk and apparently showed him my boobs and asked him to bite them and he didn’t,” Tessa said and they both laughed, “Toby why do you think he didn’t?”

  “He cares about you Tessa, just seems like the kind of guy who doesn’t know how to show it, maybe he’s afraid, maybe he’s a virgin,” Toby said.

  Maybe you are a punk, Luke wanted to scream.

  Tessa laughed out loud, “Oh no he’s not I was going to be unlucky number 13,” she said disgusted.

  “Damn!” he said and laughed.

  Tessa told him about Sadi and the three B’s. About the many times she offered herself and Toby listened. She told him about the good things too and that she loved him and he said that he loved her, but she didn’t tell him the personal stuff. Not about the abortion or the drunken mother or absent father, she held his secrets safe. And then she told him about the day she stopped at his house and how her body froze and that she never thought it was possible to be numb and still feel the dull nagging pain she has felt since it happened. She told him about Marie being number one, and what she had said about Toby being her number one, they laughed.

  “You are going to get through this Tessa, I am going to help you,” Toby said. “You know how you felt when you kissed me tonight and not the ones that were part of the scandal?” he giggled.

  Fuck Luke thought, I need to get out of here.

  “Ye
s,” she said softly.

  “What did it feel like?” he asked.

  “Like it was enough, like it wasn’t rushed, like it would be there whenever I wanted it,” Tessa admitted.

  “Ok and what about yours with him?” he asked.

  Luke wanted to scream.

  “I couldn’t get enough,” she said, “and I wanted more.”

  “Tess you know me right? You have known me for years. You know that if I tell you something I am going to do whatever it takes to get it done. I am safe and comfortable, I am not going to hurt you and in your heart you know that. Even though we have never had a conversation like this, even though we never had feelings like this for one another before right?” he asked.

  “I guess but I did have a crush on you most summers you helped with hay,” Tessa said and laughed.

  “And I have already told you I know your heart and love it. So with the quarterback, it’s not like that, and you are so eager to please him and titillated that he is interested in you that you’re trying to show him your breasts and ask him to...” Toby began.

  “Alright Toby I get it. I don’t know him; I haven’t formed a relationship with him based on trust and friendship right?” And she began to cry, “It was starting to Toby it really was, and then I don’t know what happened, I truly would hate to think it was over a bikini wax and Mani Pedi.”

  “Tessa do you talk to him as freely as that?” Toby asked.

  “What do you mean?” Tessa said.

  “Bikini Wax?” he laughed.

  “No he didn’t know that until I told him today,” she laughed, “I told him I wasn’t going to go through that pain for nothing and sort of alluded to the fact that,” she started.

  “I get it but you can’t talk like that to someone girl without driving him crazy,” he said.

  “Well why doesn’t it bother you?” she asked.

  “Oh Tessa it’s all about self-control. I want a relationship with you someday. If I check out the new do I would well. Tessa can we go to sleep please,” Toby said exhaling deeply.