Dark Nebula (The Chronicles of Kerrigan)

by W. J. May

  “But you know how to deal with the not-knowing stuff.”

  He looked so lost and alone. Last year, this was me. It had been hard and so freakin’ mind-blowing.

  “It sometimes feels like everyone’s watching me, waiting for me to either grasp my tatù, or totally flip-out. I don’t like that. It makes me want to run away. But I want to stay at this school. I like it here. I feel like I’m on the verge of fitting in, for the first time in my life.” He grinned sheepishly. “I figure, you’re a Kerrigan and you didn’t get kicked out. I might have a chance.”

  “I’d better warn you then, shocking people seems to be a Kerrigan strong suit.” She smiled when he laughed.

  “I wouldn’t have pegged you for the type that likes to shock people. Isn’t that Molly’s area of expertise?” Kraigan reached for his phone. “Sorry, it’s buzzing like crazy.” He scrolled through whatever messages he had. “It’s Nicholas. He’s wondering where I am. Are you game for being my mentor?”

  “Don’t consider me your mentor yet, but I will help. You might want to fire me in a couple of days.”

  “I doubt it.”

  “It doesn’t have to be a secret either. No one here would care.”

  He paused and started intently at her. “Thanks, Rae. I really appreciate it.”

  Their presentation the next day proceeded smoother than she expected. Before they started, Kraigan produced a photo of a meeting hall that he said he had found in the Scriptorium. “It could be the Privy Council,” he whispered. The dated, grainy, black and white photo held an aura of something secretive. So it could be legit. Student conversation came to a halt when he flashed it on the overhead projector. Rae didn’t know where or how he had gotten a hold of it, but she also didn’t miss Carter’s look of shock when Kraigan showed it to the class.

  As they finished the closing of their presentation, the buzzer signaled the end of class. Perfect timing! I’m starved. Rae stuffed her binder into her backpack, in a rush to be the first in the lunch line. She froze when Carter called her name.

  “Ms. Kerrigan? A moment of your time, if you please.”

  Oh crap. She glanced at Molly, who waved and put her hands around her throat, pretending to choke herself, as she walked out the door.

  Rae rolled her eyes as she glanced away, and saw Maria at the exit. She looked lost and confused. Rae made a mental note to have a chat with Maria the next chance she got. They had been pretty good friends the previous year, but had hardly hung out since the start of the school term. Too bloomin’ busy. Too many secrets—Devon—last year—

  Carter cleared his throat, interrupting her thoughts. Rae blinked and turned her focus to the concerned-faced headmaster. Something’s off, or maybe wrong.

  As the last of the students left the Oratory, Carter stared her down sternly, his brows mashed together. “Rae, I know you and Devon have become quite close. I’m very concerned.”

  Ah crap! Does he know about us? Her breath caught as she bit her lip. Has he seen us kiss, or are we acting too obvious? She tried to remember. They’d been very cautious since school started. She knew they would not have to hide so much once she graduated and they were free, outside the walls of Guilder, but for now, they still had to be secretive. We worked so hard to keep it from getting out. What did we miss?

  “S-Sir?” Her voice cracked.

  “That photo you used for the presentation, Devon lent it to you, did he not? No one is allowed to photograph that room. It’s a very dated photo, but still—I’m going to have to let the Privy Council know.”

  Rae’s heart stuttered in confused relief. She was glad their secret was safe, but now she was terrified that Devon could be in trouble for something he hadn’t even done. “Sir, Devon didn’t give it to me. Our group found it.”

  “What?”

  “I—Kraig—we found them as a group, at the Scriptorium, last night. We went through a bunch of old books in the libraries and—and found it stuffed inside one of them. We didn’t know what it was, but figured it looked mysterious enough to serve as a good representation.” Riddled with shame by how easily the lies fell from her lips, she was nevertheless determined not to hang Kraigan out to dry for the picture. After all, they were a group. If one of them screwed up, they all screwed up. She would ask Kraigan about the picture later, in private. “Is it really real?”

  He didn’t answer her question. “You found it in the library?” Carter sounded unsure.

  “Yes. Devon has no idea. He wouldn’t even help me when I asked him for information. You know Mister Rules, he follows everything…by the book and all that.” She rolled her eyes, glad Devon’s reputation preceded him. Walking this fine line of truth and lie was tiring. However, keeping their relationship safe was worth the effort.

  “Hmmm—It didn’t strike me as Devon-ish, but I had to ask. He’s doing well at the academy, and I’m very pleased for him. I’m glad this wasn’t a mistake on his part, or yours.” Not bothering to hide his relief, Carter flashed her a smile as he buttoned his suit coat. “I’m not sure how you got it, though I don’t believe your story. I’m inclined not to make you tell me for now. However, if you have some kind of spying tatù and used it, you’d better be careful. The Privy Council doesn’t take snooping lightly.” He scratched the slight stubble on his chin.

  “Yes, sir.” Rae thought quickly. “You’re the one who asked us to do the research.” She chewed the skin beside her thumbnail. “Why’d you give us the assignment in the first place?”

  Carter leaned toward her “I need to weed out those I can’t trust. Who we can’t trust. The Privy Council suggested we try—a way to see who might know more than they should. I guess it shouldn’t seem odd that the most accurate information came from your group. I just assumed Devon—”

  “We got lucky.” Rae tried again. “We had no idea the photo was legit. It just looked old and seemed perfect to use.”

  “Alright. Thanks for explaining. I’ll see you tomorrow evening at the dance.” He walked to the main doors, and held one open for her. Rae slipped under his arm and dashed out into the sunshine. Freedom! It felt like she was in the grip of a caffeine rush. She was practically vibrating with tension. She tried working off the nervous energy by running to the Refectory.

  She headed straight for the sandwich cue and grabbed her lunch. Looking into the throng of noisy students in the cafeteria, she spied Molly sitting with Maria, Desiree, and Julian at the far side of the dining hall. Molly waved her over when she caught Rae’s eye.

  “What’d Carter want?” Molly asked.

  “Nothing. He asked about the photo of the Privy Council meeting room.” Rae noticed Julian’s hands freeze midway to his mouth. He didn’t make a comment, but Rae knew what he was thinking.

  Rae used Maria’s telepathy tatù to fill him in. They aren’t from Devon. One of my partners found them. I’m not sure where, but I plan on finding out. The idiot almost got me into huge trouble!

  Julian’s facial expression relaxed and he continued eating— giving only a slight nod to confirm that he had heard and understood her explanation.

  Molly, however, harbored no interest in the situation what so ever. “That’s it? He wasted serious dance-discussion-time during our lunch break, for that?

  Rae tried not to roll her eyes. She loved Molly dearly, but sometimes her focus on the importance of social events got a bit out of hand. Without answering, she turned to Maria.

  “We’ve barely had a chance to talk since school started. How are you?” Rae squinted at her friend, disturbed by her unusual pallor. Maria had hardly even touched her lunch.

  “I’m fine.” Maria picked at her salad, not meeting Rae’s eyes.

  Everything alright? Rae tried the inside approach, knowing Maria felt more comfortable this way. You’re not dizzy or thinking you might pass out again?

  I don’t think so. I just felt off when class ended. I’d better not be coming down with anything. I don’t want to miss the dance tomorrow night.

&n
bsp; Do you think it’s the flu? Instinct made Rae want to move slightly away. She didn’t want to be sick for the dance, either. However, she also didn’t want to hurt Maria’s feelings.

  No. I just felt really weird. It’s gone now. I probably just need to make sure I’m drinking enough.

  Rae nodded. Have you gone back to the doctor since school started?

  No. I’ve been completely fine so I never bothered to make an appointment. I will after the dance now.

  “Rae,” Desiree interrupted, “what’re you doing tonight? Molly wants to go to a movie. You know, chill before tomorrow’s dance. You want to come?”

  “I have a study session with Devon.”

  Julian coughed, pretending to choke on a bite.

  She shot him a warning glance. Could you be a little more obvious? “He’s mentoring me on the whole tatù background thing,” she said to Desiree.

  “Can I come—to the movie?” Julian wiped his mouth with a napkin. Rae didn’t miss the smile he was trying to hide.

  “Sure! Can I ride with you?” Desiree said.

  Rae giggled. “Make him take you out for a pizza after. He really needs the train—I mean extra calories. He loves late night snacking.” Take that, Julian. Her words wiped the smile off his face.

  Despite her close encounter with Carter and a pressing need to hunt Kraigan down and grill him about the photo, Rae was pleased with the turn of events. She would be able to hang out with Devon alone tonight, and even Julian wouldn’t be knocking on the door to go for “pizza”. Suddenly, she couldn’t wait for afternoon classes to be over.

  Chapter 13

  The Fire Inside

  Rae lounged on the couch, eyes on Devon, while he worked at the laptop on his desk. They had spent the early part of the evening talking about her father and his legacy—how every tatù individual knew of him and that so many still feared him— how the Privy Council had been scrambling for the last ten years or more to hunt down any of his co-conspirators, and the importance of locating and securing his mind-control machine. Rae couldn’t believe people actually wanted to carry on his work to create chaos and disorder in their world. Would it ever stop feeling like her father’s actions were her responsibility?

  Right now, she wanted to forget about the weight on her shoulders and just feel like a typical teenager.

  Yesterday’s conversation with Desiree played back in her mind. What might happen if I tried Desiree’s tatù on Devon? Nervous, she played with the inner strings of her tatùs. I don’t even know if it will work.

  Madly typing away, Devon’s fingers froze. Embarrassed, Rae knew she had just hit him with the tatù.

  Staring at his idle fingers, she squinted and tried to clear her thoughts. I need to erase what I just did. She inhaled deeply. What had Desiree said? You can’t force the feelings. She let her eyes travel up Devon’s body to his face. He has the same desires as me. He’s wrestling with the same urges to be close. She swallowed. I wonder if Desiree’s ever tried this on herself and someone? She said other people’s emotions are off the charts but what about her own on someone she likes? Amazed, she could picture what Devon felt and how strong his longings were. He had thought about the two of them together a lot.

  It made her skin tingle. A trembling she had never felt before started deep in her belly. She swallowed, letting her gaze drift upwards. Once their gazes met, they couldn’t look away from each other. She couldn’t stop her train of thought, wondering what it would feel like to have his hands on her and his mouth on hers for more than just stolen kisses.

  Devon pressed his lips together. Rae was fully aware of his thoughts. How her lips would feel brushing against his, her warm breath on his neck. She saw the passion build in his eyes.

  He stood and walked over to where Rae sat. Slowly, he knelt down between her knees, his eyes never leaving her face. His palms rested on the tops her thighs, sliding slowly upwards.

  Rae felt the warmth of his hands through the material of her skirt. The new burning sensation deep in her abdomen spread to her legs and grew even stronger. It was so intense, she forgot how to talk.

  They stared intently at each other, neither moving.

  This has got to be love. “How could anyone think us being together could be wrong?” Rae sensed Devon’s thoughts as she spoke softly. Any shred of duty or responsibility flew out the window for him.

  He slid his hands up to her waist. She watched his face and knew the heat from her body through her thin blouse drove him deeper into the pit of desire. Desiree’s tatù was amazing at showing what they were afraid to admit to each other. Both of them were defenseless.

  She leaned forward as Devon drew towards her. She closed her eyes as Devon’s warm breath tickled her throat and face, sending her senses reeling. It felt like he was already caressing her with kisses and their lips hadn’t even touched. She licked her lips in anticipation, knowing this kiss would be different from any they had shared previously.

  Their mouths touched and the warm sensations from before erupted into an inferno inside Rae. Her fingers went straight into Devon’s hair with a need to pull him closer. She had never felt this fire before and instinct told her only Devon would be able to smolder the flames.

  Devon pushed himself off the floor to the couch and gently pushed Rae down, leaning into her but applying no weight. Neither could seem to get close enough. He unbuttoned part of Rae’s blouse, the thin material proving to be a thicker barrier than they wanted. She wondered what it would feel like to have her skin against his.

  Her hands drifted from his hair to feel the hard muscles on his chest. She caressed the taunt abdominal muscles on his stomach, enjoying the sensations as he quivered. His reaction to her touch made her feel powerful.

  Devon groaned as her fingers grazed along his rib cage. Involuntarily, her fingers curled, her nails scraping against his shirt. He pulled his lips away from Rae’s, tracing his hot tongue against her neck and collarbone.

  In the blink of an eye, something changed in Devon’s passion. His head hovered close to her neck but he didn’t touch her. Hot breath turned to cool air when Devon moved slightly away from Rae.

  “What little resistance I’ve left is going to disappear if you keep doing that.”

  “Wha—?” Rae cried softly, her fingers grabbing the belt loops of his jeans to pull him back tight against her. But it was too late. Cool air had allowed reality to crash the party.

  Devon grabbed a hold of her hands with one of his and held them tight. Bringing them to his mouth, he kissed them lightly with his soft lips. “Sweetie, this is going to lead somewhere further than I think either of us is prepared to go.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, caressing her jawline. “I don’t know what’s going on tonight, but it feels different.”

  Frustrated, Rae sighed and pulled herself up to rest on her elbows. “What’s wrong with messing around a little?”

  “Nothing. However, something weird’s going on inside of me tonight–like the volume’s just gone full blast on my feelings for you.”

  Do I tell him about Desiree’s tatù? “I don’t think anything’s wrong. We really like each other.” A twinge of guilt swept her.

  He smiled. “Is that your head or your body talking?” His kind eyes melted her frustration.

  “My heart.”

  Devon sighed and picked Rae up to cradle her in his lap. Kissing her gently on the forehead, his mouth traveled to her nose and lingered on her lips. His voice was gentle but mature. “Let’s not rush things. I—I think if something’s this good, it’s worth taking it slowly.”

  Her face grew hot, and this time not from their closeness. She pulled her hands out of his and began picking away at the pink nail polish. Her words rushed out, “I’ve got a bit of a confession to make. I kinda tried Desiree’s tatù.” She cringed, waiting for him to push her off his lap.

  He gave a low, husky laugh, his chest bouncing against her. “That’s some tatù! You’d better not try it on anyone else
.” He touched the tip of her nose with a light tap of his finger.

  A moment later, he set her down on the vacant spot beside him, then stood and began pacing. “That tatù’s dangerous…What if we had slipped up?” He raked his fingers through his hair. “Y-You’re not even seventeen yet! I mean—what if things got really out of hand?” He mumbled quietly but Rae easily caught his words, “I know I’m not ready to become a father.”

  Whoa! Who’s talking about having babies? She just wanted a little action. “I wasn’t—I had no inten—”

  Devon continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “Nor am I ready to deal with the Council finding out. Think of the hatred we’d be treated with. I spent my life being taught about why tatùs shouldn’t be together. The dangers for us or—a child? As much as I loathe my thoughts, I can’t help but be paranoid that what we’re doing is selfish.”

  “Loathe?” What a stupid word. So British. She hated how he always hid behind the wall of responsibility. She frowned, suddenly itching for a fight. “Are you scared of me, Devon?” She had heard everything he said and she had a problem with almost every word.

  “Of course not.” He blinked and pulled his head back.

  “You do realize I’m a result of that selfishness you speak of?” She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice. What a way to ruin an evening. Her hands moved demonstratively as she spoke. “I’m the result of your worst fears! Yet, you say you’re not afraid of me?” Maybe it had all been Desiree’s tatù, not our real feelings. How can he possibly desire someone he fears? “Do you believe I’m evil?”

  “You’re jokin’ right? You can’t be serious.” Devon’s brows rose. When Rae didn’t move or answer, he threw his hands up. “You know I don’t think you’re evil! You have your father’s tatù, but also your mother’s goodness and love.” He rubbed his temple. “This is totally going off topic.”

  Rae pulled herself off the couch and stood rigid in front of him, arms crossed. There were things she suddenly wanted to know Devon’s thoughts on. “This is not at all off topic! Do you think children are born evil? Or do you think evil is a result of one’s environment, or something else?”