Tess and Jeremy

by Buffy Andrews

  Tess looked up from packing Katie’s lunch. “You should practice your other spelling words, Katie. What else is on your list?”

  “Brother. My brother‘s dumb.”

  “Am not.”

  “Are too.”

  “Stop it,” I said. “No one’s dumb. John, eat your cereal. And Katie, finish your toast. And don’t look or talk to each other.”

  I sat down to drink my coffee and look at the newspaper. Tess finished making Katie’s lunch and sat down, too.

  “Anything fun planned today?” I asked Tess.

  The kids looked at Tess, probably waiting to see if she was going to answer nicely or fire a smart comeback.

  “Probably go to the gym. Not sure about after that.”

  I got up to pour another cup of coffee. “It’ll be nice seeing the gang tonight.”

  “Yeah, I’m anxious to see how big Gina is. And Cookie’s always a hoot.”

  “I haven’t been to Tom’s since Sue moved in,” I said. “I think Tom finally has the girl he’s always wanted.”

  “Good for him. And her. I love happy endings.”

  John and Katie went to brush their teeth.

  I took a sip of my coffee. “Do you think we’ll have a happy ending?”

  Tess shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  The kids rushed down the stairs and Tess got up to see them out the door. When she returned, I was putting my coffee mug in the dishwasher. “If you want to work, work. We’ll figure things out. I’m tired of all the fighting.”

  ***

  Tess

  I guess I should be happy Jeremy said I could work. But it bugged me. I didn’t want his permission, I wanted his support. I wanted him to understand why I wanted to work, not agree to it because he wants to get laid. And believe me, I know when he wants to get laid. He’s as horny as a guy at a single women’s convention.

  I hit every red light on the way to the gym and slipped into cycling class as they were finishing the first song. There was a seat in the back next to this hunk of a guy who attracted more women than a shoe sale. And judging by the way the women talked about him in the locker room, most of them—married or not—would do him in a second if he was interested. But he never was. At least that’s what those who’ve tried have said. Some even wondered if he might be gay.

  It didn’t take me long to warm up and get into the groove. Maggie was a tough instructor. We called her Maniac Maggie, and for good reason.

  “Come on, people,” she shouted. “Get those legs moving. Faster. This isn’t supposed to be a leisurely ride around the neighborhood. Imagine being on a flat stretch of road and going as fast as you can. Now pick it up!”

  I did what Maggie said and pictured being on a flat road; I pedaled as fast as I could. My heart raced. Sweat dripped off my face and onto the bike and floor. When the song was over, I reached for my water bottle to take a sip.

  “Good job,” Maniac Maggie shouted. “Now, it’s time for the hill. When I tell you to, add resistance, a little at a time. By the time we get to the top of the hill, you’ll have to stand to pedal!”

  I heard Hillary, who sat in front of me, sigh. She’s one of those women who comes to the gym to gawk at guys. She admits she hates working out and thinks sweating is gross, but she comes for the eye candy.

  The hill was a killer and by the time class was over I felt like I had been through SEAL Training Hell Week. Maggie totally whipped my ass. The air was heavy with sweat and I could barely stand smelling myself. I jumped off the bike and wiped it off.

  “Tough class today, huh?”

  I looked up and Hunky Guy was talking to me.

  I sighed. “All of Maggie’s classes are tough.”

  He smiled. “Guess that’s true. I’m Cole, by the way.”

  Normally I’d have shaken his hand, but I really didn’t want to shake his sweaty hand, so I flicked a little wave instead. “I’m Teresa. My friends call me Tess.”

  “Nice to meet you, Tess. I’ve seen you around. You take your workouts seriously. Not like, you know, some of the other women here.”

  “Thanks, I guess.”

  I didn’t like how my heart was fluttering, and it wasn’t fluttering from the adrenaline surge from class. It was fluttering because of Cole. I hadn’t really noticed before, not in the way Hillary and the other women had, but he was a perfect male specimen. And nice, too.

  “Well, I have to hit the shower. It was nice meeting you, Cole.”

  “You, too, Tess. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

  See you around? What did that mean? I definitely didn’t like how this man was making me go all liquid. My face flooded with heat and I made a beeline to the shower to cool off. As I walked out the door, I noticed Hillary was eye banging Cole. She could be a little less obvious, I thought. I never saw anyone moan with her eyes the way she does. She was one horny woman.

  I jumped in the shower but couldn’t stop thinking about Cole. I wasn’t sure why he had affected me so. I mean, he had to be at least ten years younger, which would put him at 28. I’m sure he wasn’t married, but I wondered if he had a girlfriend.

  Damn! Why am I even thinking about this guy? I’m married. I have kids. But the electricity I felt I knew he felt, too. I could see it in his eyes and it spooked me. I didn’t like what I was thinking and I needed to make sure my thoughts stayed just thoughts. And that I could stop thinking them.

  Chapter 3

  Jeremy

  I was glad the work week was over. I looked forward to the party at Tom and Sue’s. It was hard to believe how fast things happened between them. It seemed like only yesterday they had reconnected at our 20th class reunion and now they were living together. They seemed really happy, too. Unlike me and Tess, who could be poster children for failing marriages.

  I was getting dressed in the bedroom when Tess walked in fresh from a shower. God, she was beautiful. I could tell by her toned body and the definition in her arms and legs she’d been working out. She looked even better than she had in college, and I never would have figured on that happening—especially after two kids.

  She slid on a pair of jeans and a white shirt with a plunging neckline that hugged her, showing off her figure. I wanted to fuck her up against the wall. In the old days, that’s what we would have done. But now I was afraid to even try.

  “You look nice,” I said.

  She stuck an earring in her ear. “Thanks.”

  “Should we stop at the store to pick up a bottle or two of wine to take?”

  She leaned toward her vanity mirror, stopping inches from it. She slightly parted her lips and rolled lipstick over the top lip and then the bottom. Then she rubbed her lips together and checked the mirror again. “Already bought the wine. And made a dessert.”

  “So we’re good to go?”

  “Yes, as soon as Cassie gets here.”

  The doorbell rang.

  “Sounds like she’s here,” said Tess, and left to greet her.

  I looked in the mirror, trying to decide if I needed to shave. Oh, what the hell. I didn’t feel like it and it wasn’t that bad. Besides, there was a time Tess liked me on the scruffy side. Said it kind of reminded her of a bad boy. Maybe she’d let me be her bad boy tonight.

  When I got downstairs, Katie already had Cassie making some sort of rubber band bracelets and John was parked in front of the flat screen playing a video game.

  “You know the routine,” Tess told Cassie. “I left our numbers on the notepad on the counter.” She looked at the kids. “And you guys be good. I don’t want to hear about any fighting when we get home. Understood?”

  Katie and John mumbled yes. Tess and I grabbed the wine and dessert and left for the party.

  ***

  Tess

  We were the last ones to get to the party. Jeremy went to hang out with the guys on the patio and I stayed with the girls in the kitchen. They were getting the food ready.

  “There’s our pole dancer,” Sue said.

  Everyone
laughed.

  At Jeremy’s 20th class reunion six months ago, he told everyone at our table I had a pole in our bedroom. Of course the guys couldn’t stop teasing me, even when I explained I didn’t use it to strip but to exercise. Apparently they had never heard of pole exercises classes.

  “You look amazing,” Sue said. “Maybe I should get a pole.”

  “It’s not the pole,” I explained. “I’ve been working out at the gym. It keeps me from being bored.”

  “Honey, if I didn’t have to work the last thing I’d be doing is spending the day at the gym,” Cookie said.

  I took the glass of wine Sue offered me. “I’d rather work.”

  “Then why don’t you?” Sue asked.

  “Jeremy doesn’t want me to.”

  Kris sipped her wine. “Why?”

  “Where do I start? I think it all boils down to him liking the way things are. I take care of everything at home and he doesn’t have to worry about anything—the kids, the cooking and cleaning and ironing. Everything.”

  Kris held up her hand. “Let me guess: He doesn’t want that to change.”

  “Precisely. And if I worked, he’d have to help with those things. To be honest, things haven’t been good between us.”

  Sue hugged me. “I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. And as much as I sometimes wish I didn’t have to work, it does make me feel good about myself, so I get how you’re feeling. Have you told him how upset you are?”

  “Who’s upset?”

  Gina walked into the kitchen. She had been in the bathroom.

  Gina noticed me sitting next to Cookie. “Tess!”

  “You look amazing pregnant,” I said.

  “That’s what I told her,” Sue said. “When I was pregnant with Chloe my complexion was terrible. I guess it was all the excess oil. But Gina’s beautiful.”

  “Thanks,” Gina said. “But I feel like a hippo and I’ve pulled out more nipple hairs than I care to count.”

  Cookie laughed. “I have nipple hairs and I’m not even pregnant. Just be careful when you pull out the nipple hair, you pull it straight out. There’s nothing worse than an ingrown nipple hair. Been there, done that.”

  Gina smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now, do you have any advice on how to combat constipation? These prenatal vitamins are doing a number on me.”

  “It’s the iron,” Cookie said. “I never knew how much I missed my daily dump until I became pregnant.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “So you had that problem, too?” Gina asked.

  “Big time,” Cookie said. “I did everything I was told to do—drank lots of water, ate high fiber foods and I walked every day. The doctor switched me to another prenatal vitamin that contained less iron and allowed me to take a stool softener if things got too bad.”

  “Can we talk about something besides nipple hairs and shit?” Kris asked. “I’d rather talk about sex.”

  Cookie nodded at me. “Tess’s not having sex.”

  “Why no sex?” Gina asked.

  “She’s pissed at Jeremy,” Sue said.

  “So you were the one who was upset when I walked in. I knew I wasn’t hearing things.”

  Maybe it was the wine making me loosen up, but I knew I was going to lose it when I felt my lip tremble. Seconds later I melted into a blubbering puddle of tears. “I love my kids. I really do. It’s just I want to be more than a mom. Is that so wrong? To need more in my life? I used to be a magazine art director, a damn good one. But Jeremy is so stubborn. But I don’t care anymore. I told him to fuck off. I’m getting a job whether he likes it or not.”

  ***

  Jeremy

  I grabbed a beer from the cooler and sat down beside Tom. “Thanks for having us over.”

  “No problem. Sue loves entertaining.”

  “Sounds like things are going well between you two.”

  Tom ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah. I can’t believe it. I never thought she’d agree to move in with me. It’s great having Chloe here, too. I’ve never been happier.”

  “So when are you going to get married?” Keith asked.

  Tom pointed to Mike. “He’s first.”

  Mike grabbed another beer and twisted off the cap. “If it were up to me, Gina and I would already be married. Gina wants to wait until after the baby’s born. She wants a big church wedding and doesn’t want to waddle down the aisle.”

  I laughed. “Waddle?”

  “Her word, not mine. For the record, she doesn’t waddle. And I think she’s as sexy as hell pregnant.”

  “Tess was, too,” I said. “And the best part of her being pregnant was getting her pregnant. I think we screwed every day every which way. Now, we never do.”

  Mike cleared his throat. “So things aren’t any better between you two?”

  “No. In fact, they’ve gotten worse.”

  “Whoa, I missed this story. Start over from the beginning,” Keith said.

  I took a sip of my beer. “Tess wants to work. I don’t want her to work. She told me to fuck off; she’s going to work anyway. And we haven’t had sex because we fight all the time.”

  Cookie’s husband, Rick, took a break from the peanut bowl. “So let her work. I’d rather have sex than a clean house. Besides, you can hire someone to cook and clean. You can’t hire someone to screw.”

  I laughed. “Actually, you can.”

  “You know what I mean,” Rick said.

  “How about you and Cookie?” I asked. “Are things good?”

  “Damn good,” Rick said. “She’s losing weight; looking good.”

  I looked at Keith. “And I’m not even going to ask you because I know things are always wild and crazy between you and Kris. I still can’t believe you screwed for thirty-one days straight.”

  Keith cleared his throat. “Actually, it ended up being sixty.”

  “Damn,” I said. “You’re one lucky son of a bitch.”

  Rick took another break from the peanut bowl. “Why’d you stop after sixty?”

  “I needed a break,” Keith said. “And I bought Kris a vibrator.”

  “Weren’t you worried she’d like the vibrator more than you?” I asked.

  “Not really.”

  “Cookie uses a vibrator and she still wants the real thing. Actually, we’ve used both together.”

  “Oh, Christ,” I said. “I need to break out the whiskey I brought.”

  ***

  Tess

  “Time to lighten the mood,” Cookie said. She pinched her belly fat. “I found a way to get rid of this and it doesn’t require exercise or starving yourself.”

  Cookie immediately got everyone’s attention. Who doesn’t want their teen stomach back?

  “You stand naked in front of the mirror and put your arms up and reach for the ceiling and it goes away.”

  We laughed.

  “Cookie, you always make me smile,” Kris said. “But you do look like you lost some weight.”

  Cookie smiled. “Fifteen pounds so far.”

  “That’s awesome,” Gina said. “You’re losing and I’m gaining.”

  “Yeah,” Cookie said, “but you’re gaining for a good reason, unlike me who gained because of my love affair with sweets. Crème-filled donuts? Oh, yeah! Oreo cookies? Couldn’t get enough of them. Ice cream? Are you kidding me? Every day!”

  “You’re just bigger boned,” Sue said. “You wouldn’t look healthy being super thin.”

  Sue was right. Cookie always was a little meaty, but she had a beautiful face. And I loved her side swept bangs and the way her blonde hair fell to her shoulders and kind of fanned out. Her pale green eyes always seemed to sparkle.

  “Thanks, but I was packing it on. Besides, I want to be thin enough that I don’t mind having sex with the lights on or doing it in daytime, both of which Rick enjoys.”

  “What is it about sex with the lights on that turns guys on?” Sue asked. “I’d rather do it in the dark.”

  “Me to
o,” Kris said.

  Gina rubbed her baby bump. “But letting your partner see you naked is a sign of trust and confidence. Mike sees me naked all the time and I love the intimacy.”

  “What about you, Tess?” Cookie asked. “Lights on or off?”

  “Well, when we had sex I didn’t mind some light. We have a dimmer switch in the bedroom, so that made it easy to control.”

  “So you weren’t kidding about cutting Jeremy off?” Gina asked.

  I could feel my face get hot. I blinked back the tears I felt gathering in my eyes. “I just don’t feel like having sex with him lately. I’ve been too pissed. And when I’m pissed, the last thing I want is his penis anywhere near me.”

  “That’s pretty pissed,” Sue said.

  “Yeah, I’m thinking I need time away from him.”

  “You’re not talking about a separation, are you?” Cookie asked.

  I shook my head. “Maybe a little vacation. You know how when you’re pissed at someone every little thing they do pisses you off even more?”

  “Definitely,” Cookie said.

  “So, I was thinking that maybe I needed a little alone time. It might do me good just to take a vacation without Jeremy and the kids.”

  “Hey, maybe we should go on a trip somewhere. Just the girls,” Sue said. “That’d be fun. Like to the beach or something.”

  Gina patted her bump. “Count me out, but the rest of you go, have a great time and come back and tell me all about it.”

  “Rick and I are going on a cruise to Bermuda,” Cookie said. “It’ll be the first time we went away without the girls. I haven’t bought a bathing suit in forever and was shocked by the prices.”

  “Tell me about it,” Sue said. “I don’t understand why bathing suits, and bras for that matter, cost so much when there’s hardly anything to them.”

  We laughed.

  Cookie poured another glass of wine. “So I have a dilemma. I have my annual pap smear the day before our cruise. I want to shave my who-ha before we go.”

  “I think nowadays doctors see more bald vaginas than hairy ones,” Kris said. “I know when I started to shave mine, I just told my doctor before she examined me things looked a little different down there. It didn’t seem to faze her at all.”