A Family At Last

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “You sure you don’t mind walking in those?” Matthew said, glancing down at the thin sandals Cory wore. “It’s not mountain climbing,” Cory said. “I can manage.”

  “Okay.” Matthew held out his hand to her, she took it and they started off down the secluded path.

  The sun warmed their faces and now and again an imperceptible breeze cooled the air as they walked.

  Matthew drew in a deep breath, a feeling of utter contentment stealing over him. The church service had been fulfilling. To have Cory share it with him had made it even more so. And now, to have her by his side made the day complete.

  “I love this place.” She swung their joined hands. “When we first moved here, I would come here every day after work and just walk.”

  “I remember meeting you here that one Sunday.”

  Cory glanced at him, then away. “Well, that was a while ago.”

  And a few events ago, he thought, remembering her animosity then. “So you’ve been here almost a year?”

  Cory nodded, lifting her face to the sun. Her hair swung back from her face. A light flush colored her cheeks and her lips were curved in a tender smile. She was stunning, beautiful, lovely. The words could express the effect she had on him.

  “Why here?” he continued, his desire to know about her also growing. “Why did you choose Stratton?”

  Cory pursed her lips, looking ahead again. “We just ended up here. Whenever Mom and I would leave, we would pack up the car and head out. Take a few jogs, backtrack maybe.” She gave a light shrug, as if dismissing it. “Then just go where the road took us, as far as we had money to travel. This last time it happened to be Stratton.”

  “Why did you always leave? Why didn’t you ever stay around?” Matthew knew he was treading on shaky ground. The last time he had talked to her about Zeke, he had found out more than he wanted to. And he knew she had been holding back.

  Cory took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Why do you keep asking about him? Just let it go.”

  Her grip on his hand tightened and once again Matthew felt a wave of sorrow, guilt followed by intense anger. How could he and his father not have seen this part of Zeke? How could they have been so completely fooled by the man?

  Matthew stopped her, pulling on her hand so that she faced him. “Cory, I just wish there was some way—” he stopped, realizing how futile his words were.

  “You could change it?” Cory tilted her head to one side, as if studying him. Her expression was intent. Then she smiled lightly and traced the outline of his mouth, her touch as light as a sigh. “But then we wouldn’t be here now, would we? All the things that happened brought us to this point. I believe God used it all to let this happen.”

  “You have such a strong faith. That amazes me considering all you’ve been through.”

  Cory looked away, drawing back, but still holding Matthew’s hand. “I didn’t always, you know. My mother’s faith was sorely tried both after my father’s death and when she had to give up the boys. Zeke about finished it. She didn’t have a whole lot to pass on to me. But God found me, and for that I’m thankful.”

  “How did it happen?”

  Cory looked away, her expression clouding as if remembering sadness.

  And she had much sadness to remember, Matthew thought, slipping his arm around her shoulders protectively. He wanted to take it all away, to erase it from her life. To surround her with love and caring and kindness.

  “It happened in the first town we ended up in after Zeke started intimidating us,” Cory said after a long silence. “Mom and I rented a small house in town from one of the members of the local church. We hardly had anything and of course didn’t tell him why. We were so scared Zeke would find us again. But soon we were inundated with furniture and clothes—all donated by the members of his church. They were so good to us. So I started going. Mom came only once in a while. She was quite bitter toward God at that time. She had lost so much.”

  “I realize that now,” Matthew said, pulling her closer. Cory glanced up at him and smiled.

  “I have to confess,” she continued, “I had a hard time with church. I went because I felt I owed the people something. But I always had a hard time accepting God as my Father. The only father I had known didn’t love me and didn’t care for me the way a true father does. The only father I had was the one who lied to me all the time, the one who tried to hurt me. I would sit beside him listening to people reciting a prayer starting with ‘Our Father’ and I’d look sidelong and see Zeke. Didn’t work for me. So I fought the whole idea of God and a relationship with him.”

  “And what made the difference?”

  Cory brushed back a strand of hair from her face as she looked away. “The minister in that church had a sermon one day from Luke. Jesus lamenting for Jerusalem. The part where he says, ‘How often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings,’” Cory quoted. “The idea of Jesus, God, comparing himself to something as simple as a hen. It made me laugh. But it changed my perspective. Since then I’ve found other passages comparing God’s love to a mother, as well, that I could relate to. I still struggle with it, but I’m hoping God understands.”

  “I’m not surprised you struggle with seeing God as a father figure. When I first told you about Zeke’s death, I thought you were rather cold and unfeeling,” Matthew said quietly. “Now, knowing what I do, I’m surprised you didn’t jump for joy.”

  Cory shrugged, drawing back from his encircling arm, taking his hand in hers. “I still can have such mixed feelings about Zeke. I still have a hard time believing that he’s left me everything. Money’s never been important, but I guess the gesture means something. And, of course, it’s allowed me and my mother to make some real plans for the first time in our lives.” She smiled up at Matthew. “You can’t know how liberating that is for us. All our lives we’ve had to watch every penny that slipped through our fingers. Zeke’s checks bounced so many times. But now,” she spun around, laughing, “Now we can make all kinds of plans, dream all kinds of dreams. You’ve brought many good things into my life, Matthew McKnight.”

  Matthew’s heart contracted painfully at what she said, her words underscoring the reality of the situation. He wasn’t entirely sure of how she felt toward him. He wondered if her dreams and plans included him.

  But the hardest part was knowing that by encouraging her to accept the will against her wishes, he had made her vulnerable to Zeke’s empty promises once again.

  He knew he had to tell her about the will. But when he looked down at her, into her soft brown eyes, shining with warmth and affection, when he saw how her mouth curved, felt her hand holding his, he knew he couldn’t do it yet. She was here beside him. If he were to bend over and kiss her, he knew she would welcome it.

  He did so, just to prove it. And she curved her hand around his neck, holding him close.

  Oh, Lord, how can I tell her? Will her faith be able to withstand this? Will it turn her against You? Against me?

  He couldn’t bear the thought of either but the truth would come out sooner or later. The longer he waited the worse it looked for him.

  Tuesday for sure, he thought. He was gone all day Monday.

  He drew away, tracing her features with his finger, as if to remember them. “I care for you, Cory,” he said firmly, hoping his conviction came through, hoping she would remember. “I wish I could tell you what you mean to me.”

  She smiled up at him. “I can’t believe that my lawyer is at a loss for words,” she joked.

  Matthew pulled her close and kissed her again, his prayers becoming ever more fervent.

  “I keep telling you, you don’t have to keep McKnight hours to impress me,” Nathan said, leaning in the doorway of Matthew’s office early the next morning.

  Matthew looked up from his computer screen and glanced at the clock on the wall. He’d been sitting in front of the computer for three hours already. His eyes felt dry and his should
ers were sore from hunching over the keyboard.

  “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were here,” he said, stretching his arms above his head.

  Nathan pushed himself away from the wall and walked farther into Matthew’s office. “You don’t need to apologize to me for coming in. I thought you would be getting ready for the hearing.”

  “I’m ready for that. I’ve just got a couple of other things I’m working on before I go.”

  “Sounds mysterious.” Nathan just smiled. “My secretary tells me she’s been looking up e-mail addresses of every law firm in western Canada for you. Anything I can do to help?”

  Matthew shook his head. “Actually, I’m quitting for today.” He thought he should tell Nathan what was he doing—that he was conducting his own search for Cory’s brothers, but didn’t think she would appreciate other people knowing.

  He wasn’t sure his initial contacts would come to anything. He had started simple—sending out a generic e-mail to any and every lawyer he had an address for to see if they had clients named Jake or Simon, last name unknown, born on such and such a date. He’d contacted Social Services who put him on to a number of agencies that helped reunite adopted children with their natural parents.

  He’d used his legal contacts to put a personal ad in all the small-town western Canadian weekly newspapers through their blanket ad services. Then he had put the same ad in the major cities’ dailies to be run for two weeks.

  He had used his account at McKnight and McKnight to charge the ads. He didn’t have a clue how much they would cost, but it didn’t matter. It was a small start, but he didn’t have time for much more until later on in the week.

  One way or another, he was going to find these brothers for Cory.

  “I saw you sitting in church with Cory Luciuk,” Nathan added with an avuncular smile. “You made a nice couple. Too bad you’re gone all day today.”

  “I know,” he said softly, leaning back in his chair.

  “Ah, well, absence makes the heart grow fonder. You’ll see her tomorrow.”

  Matthew sighed, rubbing his forehead. He wished he could stifle the twinges of apprehension he felt each time he thought of seeing Cory again.

  “Well, now,” Nathan said with a faint smile. “You don’t seem too eager about that.”

  Biting his lip, Matthew leaned forward. “I’ve got some disappointing news for her.”

  “I see,” was all Nathan said. He tapped his thumbs together, watching Matthew. “From what I’ve seen, Cory has had many disappointments in her life. I’m sure she’ll weather this one. She seemed pretty happy on Sunday.”

  Matthew wished he could be as sure as Nathan was. Nathan didn’t know what Matthew did.

  Nathan stood and buttoned up his coat. “I imagine you’ve got a few things to get ready before you go. If you have time tonight, stop by the house and let me know how the hearing went.” Then with a parting grin, Nathan left.

  Matthew stared at the screen saver then reached over and pulled out a picture he had in his drawer.

  It was a picture of Cory taken by Deirdre at their graduation. He’d had a copy of it ever since he’d seen doubles of the photo at Deirdre’s place. He’d taken one, thinking she wouldn’t notice. She hadn’t.

  For years he’d had it filed away in Zeke’s file. Last week, he remembered it and asked his secretary to mail it to him.

  It was the only picture he had of Cory. He couldn’t help but compare it to the woman he now knew. Her face was younger in the picture, but there was a hardness around the eyes, a firmness to the mouth, that Matthew didn’t see in Cory anymore.

  He recalled how she had looked yesterday, how trustingly she had come to his arms and he felt almost ill.

  Oh, Lord, what is she going to say? What is going to happen? He fought down a feeling of panic.

  A feeling that after all this time, he was going to lose her again. All last night he had prayed, had struggled, had tried to let go.

  But he kept remembering how she reacted the first time he told her about the will. How contemptuously she had said that Zeke had taught her well, not to trust any man.

  And Matthew had convinced her to trust him to look out for her best interests.

  But how could they have known? he argued to himself. Zeke hadn’t lived in Riverview, but he hadn’t instructed them any different. It wasn’t uncommon for a will to be over five years old and still valid if the lawyer didn’t have any further instructions.

  What this woman had was a holograph will. A piece of paper written out by hand. Not registered, not documented. Just a piece of paper.

  It couldn’t possibly be genuine, he thought, pushing himself away from the desk. Not possibly.

  He clung to that thought as he slipped into his suit coat and picked up his briefcase. He would have had time for a cup of coffee at the restaurant, but he couldn’t face Cory quite yet.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Thanks for coming. I hope you enjoyed your meal,” Cory said as she ripped the bill off her pad and set it down on the table in front of the older couple.

  They smiled their thanks and as she walked away, Cory couldn’t help but look up at the clock. It was only nine twenty-five. Matthew didn’t usually come in until ten, but that didn’t stop her from checking, especially since he hadn’t been able to come in yesterday. She’d been watching the clock for the past hour, the minute hand crawling around the face, her nervousness increasing with each increment.

  It was like high school all over again, she thought with a measure of exasperation. She had dated other men before, some for more than a month, but never had she felt this way about meeting any other man.

  She resisted the urge to go to the washroom and check her hair, her makeup.

  Matthew had seen her in enough different circumstances that it shouldn’t matter what she looked like this time around.

  But it did, she thought, unconsciously smoothing her hair. A trill of apprehension shivered through her as she once again looked out the long windows to the street beyond.

  What she saw made her stop, her expectation turning to an initial shock of fear.

  A deep-green car had parked in front of the windows and as Cory watched, a tall, commanding figure got out.

  Clifton McKnight.

  His grey hair was styled within a hairbreadth of perfection. As with Matthew, the cut of his charcoal grey suit, its crisp lines and expensive fabric easily showed its cost. Expensive.

  Clifton McKnight paused a moment, looking around, then he closed the door and walked purposefully toward the restaurant.

  For Cory it was as if time had slipped back as she once again faced those patrician features.

  She swallowed against the constriction in her throat, her palms suddenly clammy.

  What was he doing here? What did he want?

  She took a calming breath then, remembering that his son worked only a couple of blocks down the street. Of course, she reprimanded herself. He’s just come to see Matthew.

  But a new wave of nerves attacked her at the thought of meeting Clifton now. Now that she and Matthew had spent time together.

  What would Clifton think of her? Would he think she wasn’t good enough for his son? She had always known what Clifton thought of her and her mother. She didn’t imagine that things had changed. Clifton McKnight would want only the best for his only son.

  The door opened and Clifton stepped into the restaurant and it was as if everything slowed, turned and became centered on him. His presence was always commanding, thought Cory, taking a step back behind one of the partitions.

  She wasn’t hiding, she told herself. She just needed a few moments to compose herself. To catch the breath that always eluded her in his presence.

  Clifton walked toward the first empty table and sat down. He folded his hands on the table in front of him looking around, his expression carefully neutral.

  From where she stood, Cory could easily see the resemblance between him and Matthew. The same level b
rows, the slightly angled eyes, giving both Clifton and Matthew a deceptively languid look.

  But where Matthew had charm, Clifton had presence.

  Please, Lord, help me through this, she prayed, pressing her hand against her stomach as if to still the flurry of nerves. I know who I am, that You love me. But I have always been afraid of this man.

  The door chimes sounded again, and Cory glanced quickly at the door.

  Her heart fluttered this time at the sight of Matthew glancing around the restaurant. She could tell the instant he spotted his father.

  He paused a moment, smoothed his hand over his slightly unruly hair, straightened his coat, squared his shoulders and walked over to where his father sat.

  Cory wanted to rush over. Wanted to drag Matthew away from his father, to break the tableau she was now witnessing.

  Clifton standing up, shaking hands with his son, then giving him a quick, manly hug.

  Matthew smiling back at his father as they both sat down.

  Father and son, together again.

  It called back a horrible time in her life. It brought back even more vividly the feelings of lack of control. Of powerlessness, seeing them together.

  She wanted to leave, but they were sitting at her table. So she took a long, slow, calming breath and walked toward them portraying a confidence she didn’t feel, struggling to bring the present to the moment.

  “Hello, Matthew,” she said quietly, then turned to Clifton. “Mr. McKnight.”

  “Hi, Cory,” Matthew smiled up at her, then looked across the table to his father. “Dad, I’m sure you remember Cory Smith?” Matthew glanced up at her, then away as he corrected himself. “Sorry. Cory Luciuk.”

  Matthew seemed uneasy and Cory wondered if it was his father’s presence.

  Clifton gave Cory a curt nod. “Yes, I remember Cory,” he said. “How are you doing?”

  His deep voice resonated through her mind, pulling back all the ugly memories that she had fought to bury.

  “I’m fine,” she replied, unable to make her voice get any louder than a faint rasp. She cleared her throat and tried again.