A Family At Last

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “What’s the matter?” Joyce came into the living room and sat down on the couch beside her daughter. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “I’m tired,” Cory said quietly.

  Joyce touched Cory’s forehead. “You don’t feel hot, or flushed, yet your cheeks are red.”

  Cory studied her mother’s face, noting the lines etched by disappointment, deepened by the pain her mother dealt with every day. “If you had one wish, Mom, what would it be?”

  Joyce tilted her head sideways, studying Cory. “What brought this on?”

  Cory shrugged. “Just wondering.”

  “Well, I think you know the answer to that.” Joyce held Cory’s gaze, a light smile playing around her mouth.

  “The boys,” Cory said softly.

  “Yes, I’d like to know about them, but you are my main concern, Cory. Always have been.” Joyce lightly brushed a strand of hair away from Cory’s face, tucking it carefully behind her ear. “My wish would be that you would be free to do whatever you wanted. To make your own choices. I’ve often felt like a burden to you. Like you’ve had to take care of me.”

  “No, don’t say that,” Cory protested.

  “Let me finish. I sometimes wish there were a way I could let you live your life.” Joyce smiled lightly. “When you first told me about this will, I didn’t want you to take anything from Zeke. But now, I’m glad you decided to go ahead. Because it will mean that maybe you will have a chance to finally do what you want to do.”

  Each quiet word cut through Cory, twisting and reinforcing her distress. How could she have been so blind, so naive as to put them both in this position once again? Once again her mother would have to face disappointment.

  “I don’t know how to tell you this, Mom,” Cory said, straightening. “But I just got back from seeing Matthew and his father. There was another will that surfaced later. We aren’t going to get anything from Zeke after all.”

  Joyce sat back, puzzled. “What do you mean?”

  Even as Joyce voiced the question, Cory could see resignation on her face. “The will giving everything to me isn’t valid anymore because some woman Zeke was living with showed up with a handwritten will leaving her everything. We could fight it but that would mean more lawyers’ fees and more hassle.”

  “You don’t want to do that, do you?”

  Cory shook her head. “No. I don’t. She can have it. I knew I should never have believed Matthew in the first place.” Her words sounded so harsh and even as she spoke them, Cory knew that they weren’t entirely true.

  But when the phone rang again, neither she nor her mother answered it.

  Matthew set the phone carefully in the cradle and blew out his breath. Well, that was a bust. He knew he shouldn’t expect that Cory would fall willingly into his arms after what had happened this afternoon.

  But he had hoped, prayed she might at least listen. Even just for a moment.

  He sat back in his chair, swiveling back and forth, back and forth as he considered his options. How could he reach her? How could he tell her that he was just plain ordinary Matthew, a man desperately in love with her? A man who had made a mistake with far-reaching consequences.

  A rush of fear coursed through him at the thought that she might bolt. That once again she and Joyce might decide to up and leave. He could just imagine what Cory’s mother was saying to her right now.

  Please, Lord. I love her. Show me how to help her. Show her that she’s wrong about me.

  He dragged his hands over his face, considering his options. He could go straight over to her house right now and try to convince her, but if he couldn’t do it over the phone, he doubted he could tell her in front of her mother.

  He could wait, but for what?

  For now, however, he had work to do. His clients wouldn’t accept the excuse of his mixed-up love life for not moving forward on their work.

  He pulled open a file he had been working on and tried to focus, tried to think about his work. But all he could see was Cory’s dark-brown eyes, shining with tears of hurt and betrayal. All he could hear was her longing for love from a man who had hurt her so badly.

  He slammed the folder shut, furious with Zeke, hurting for Cory.

  He dropped his head into his hands, his heart sore for the woman he loved, wishing he knew how to help her.

  Get her through this time, Lord, he prayed. Help her to get over this disappointment, this feeling of being betrayed once again. Show her that Your love for her is perfect even if the love we poor human beings try to give her isn’t. He drew in a slow breath, willing away the fear that she was slipping away from him.

  And as he thought, he slowly figured out how to start wooing back the woman he loved.

  His thoughts were broken by the sound of his secretary’s voice coming over the intercom.

  “I’ve got a Mr. Kowalchuk on the line for you, Matthew,” she said.

  He sighed and leaned closer to his intercom. “I’ll take the call.” He wasn’t getting anything else done.

  A few moments later Matthew hung up the phone with a mixture of anticipation threaded through with apprehension. Mr. Kowalchuk was the lawyer for a certain Jake Steele who was the brother of Simon Steele. Mr. Kowalchuk had just read Matthew’s e-mail.

  It turned out that some time ago, Jake had instructed Mr. Kowalchuk to see if he could find a mother and daughter named Joyce and Cory Smith.

  Mr. Kowalchuk was positive that his clients were looking for Matthew’s.

  Life goes on, life goes on. This refrain sung through Cory’s head over the next two days. She managed to smile at the customers, throw out a few lame jokes, but each time the door opened, she jumped, half dreading, half anticipating Matthew’s arrival.

  But he never did come either day. And she didn’t know whether to feel relieved or whether to cry.

  It was as if her emotions were in suspension. She held herself close, afraid to examine how she truly felt.

  She relived the scene with Clifton and Matthew again and again, unable to stop.

  She had overreacted.

  She had done the right thing.

  Matthew had hidden the truth from her.

  Matthew had asked her forgiveness.

  The last thought always made her stop. Always made her recognize that Matthew believed her. Cared for her.

  Home was hardly sanctuary, either. Her mother was irritable and cranky, muttering loudly about sneaky lawyers, reinforcing Cory’s own doubts.

  By midafternoon of the second day Matthew still hadn’t come. The four aspirin she had taken were finally taking effect when Kelsey met up with Cory in the kitchen.

  “Can you come to my office?” Kelsey stood in front of her friend, her arms crossed over her chest with a no-nonsense look on her face.

  Cory glanced at the clock. “I’ve got an hour to go yet. I’ll finish my shift.”

  “I don’t care. You look miserable.”

  “Please, Kelsey. I just don’t want to talk right now.”

  “You’ve messed up two orders already. I think you may as well come and have a cup of coffee with me.” Kelsey caught her friend by the arm and almost dragged her to her office.

  “Sit down. Tell Aunty Kelsey why you’ve been walking around with rings under your eyes, looking like you’re ready to burst into tears. I heard that Matthew and his dad came in the day before yesterday and that you took off after that. I don’t think I’m being too snoopy to ask you why. I wanted to talk to you yesterday already, but figured you needed some time to yourself.”

  Cory leaned her chair back against the wall, closing her eyes in resignation. Once again Kelsey was acting as her confessor and once again it was a relief to talk to her. “One of these days remind me to tell you how bossy you are,” Cory complained.

  “I’m your friend,” Kelsey said quietly.

  Cory opened her eyes and smiled sadly. “That you are. And I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how thankful I am for that friendship.”

 
; “You’ve told me now.” Kelsey tilted her head to one side. “So. What happened?”

  “Clifton McKnight came to tell me that there was another will. That means Mom and I don’t get anything.”

  “Oh, Cory. I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too. The worst of it was, Matthew knew about it for a week and didn’t tell me.” Cory lifted her hand in puzzlement. “Why didn’t Matthew tell me? What was he trying to do? Protect that lousy ex-stepfather of mine?”

  “Maybe Matthew was scared to tell you.”

  “And why would that be?”

  “Because of the way you’re acting right now.”

  Cory dropped the chair’s front legs back on the floor. “Matthew has never been scared of anything in his life.”

  “I think he’s scared of you.”

  Cory felt a slight shiver at what Kelsey said. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  Kelsey leaned against her desk, her hands resting behind her. “I see how he looks at you, Cory. The man is crazy for you.”

  Cory shook her head. “Then why didn’t he come yesterday or today?”

  “What do you want, Cory? You’re angry with him yet you want him to come here so that you can give him the cold shoulder?”

  “No, that’s not it.”

  “Oh, you’d sooner he stayed away so you can brood about how awful men are? So you can convince yourself that you don’t deserve love? That you don’t deserve to be happy?”

  Cory glared at Kelsey, but couldn’t reply.

  “Don’t do this, Cory. Don’t push him away. He’s a great guy and you know it.”

  Cory wished she could make things as easy as Kelsey did. She wished she could neatly sort out her emotions and label them Past and Present.

  “What do you want, Cory?” Kelsey asked.

  Cory dropped her face in her hands. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

  “Why don’t you try to tell me?”

  Cory swallowed down a thick knot of pain, searching for the right words. She had never had a true friend like Kelsey, had never opened herself up to anyone before. Not even her mother. All her life she had been the strong one.

  “Cory. You just told me that I’m your friend,” Kelsey said quietly, her voice inviting affinity. “You’re right. I care about you. I’ve been praying for you. Praying for good things for you. Please, tell me.”

  Cory took a deep breath, lowering her hands, smiling back at her friend. “You won’t think I’m crazy?”

  “Cory. Please.”

  “I’m just so confused,” she said finally. “I can’t pray, I can’t think. I love Matthew, but I’m scared. I’m scared of what he can do to me. I didn’t even love my stepfather as much as I love Matthew and if Zeke can hurt me this much even after he’s dead, how much more can Matthew?”

  “But he cares about you, Cory. I know he does. He would do anything for you.”

  “I’m scared to trust him, Kelsey. He lied to me.”

  Kelsey slowly shrugged as she considered what Cory said. “I think he was trying to protect you. That’s all. Maybe it wasn’t right. But I don’t think it was so terribly wrong.” Kelsey leaned forward, her gaze intent. “Don’t give up on him. I know you care deeply for each other.”

  They were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door.

  Kelsey got up and answered it then turned to Cory.

  “Some guy is here with a parcel for you.” Kelsey stepped aside.

  A man in a uniform entered. “Cory Luciuk?” he said, glancing at his clipboard and then at her.

  “That’s me.”

  “Parcel delivery.” He handed Cory the clipboard indicating where she was to sign. Kelsey already had the parcel and had set it on her desk.

  “Who is this from?” Cory asked, curiosity getting the best of her.

  “It says—” the man tilted the clipboard “—Matthew. That’s all.”

  Cory swallowed, her breath suddenly quickening.

  He ripped a sheet off, folded it in half and handed it to her. Then he left.

  Kelsey picked up the brown-wrapped parcel and held it out to her. “Open it, girl.”

  Almost hesitantly she took it, wondering what it could possibly be.

  It was a large box, but not heavy. She gave it a tentative shake, puzzled.

  “Cory, quit this. Open it already.” Kelsey handed her a pair of scissors.

  Carefully, Cory cut away the brown paper, surprised to find another layer of bright, colored wrapping paper beneath that.

  “It looks too pretty to unwrap,” she said, almost breathless. It looked festive and promising.

  Her heart’s rhythm changed and for a moment she just held the box in her hands, testing its weight, surprised at how clammy her palms were. Carefully, with delicate precision, she peeled the tape off, careful not to rip the shiny paper.

  For a moment she was a child, delaying the pleasure, letting the anticipation linger. Then, just before she peeled back the paper, to her dismay, she saw her fingers tremble.

  Other images came to mind. The same feeling of anticipation, the sense of wonder mingled with curiosity. And then, the letdown.

  For a brief moment, she didn’t dare to unwrap it further, to feel the hollow drop of disappointment.

  Then, as if in defiance of the memories, she roughly pushed the paper back to reveal a box, its front covered with clear plastic. A doll box.

  She lifted it up to look better. Deep-green eyes fringed with thick eyelashes stared back at her from the most delicate doll’s face Cory had ever seen.

  Unable to suppress the gasp of pleasure, she slowly took in all its features. Her lips were slightly pouted, painted a shiny red, her cheeks delicately blushed.

  Shiny auburn curls framed her face, held back on one side with a cluster of cream-colored silk rosebuds.

  Her dress was of deep-green velvet and trimmed with the same silk roses, delicate lace and the narrowest of ribbon. She wore stockings and a pair of patent leather shoes complete with tiny buckles.

  She was the most exquisite doll Cory had ever seen.

  “Oh, Cory. She’s gorgeous,” Kelsey breathed. But underlying the sense of wonder, Cory heard her puzzlement.

  A doll wasn’t the kind of gift a man gives a woman important to him.

  But as Cory held the box, she remembered what she had told Matthew. She knew exactly what he was trying to say. Her heart fluttered as she thought of the implications. “I know what it means,” she said softly.

  “There’s something inside,” Kelsey said.

  Cory saw it, too, and carefully opened the box and pulled out the envelope. Ripping it open she pulled out a card decorated with flowers.

  Slowly she opened the card.

  “‘Dear Cory,’” she read, “‘I’m sorry I hurt you. I was scared to tell you about the will. I let you down. I’m sorry. I can’t promise to never let you down again, but I can promise to try not to. I love you.’”

  She felt new tears well up in her eyes as she read his words.

  Carefully she closed the card and slipped it back into the envelope, sniffing. Kelsey handed her a tissue and she wiped the tears away, blew her nose.

  “Why don’t you go home?”

  Cory drew in a slow breath. “I don’t want to.”

  “Why not?”

  Cory looked up at her friend. “Because at home I get to listen to my mother saying she was right all along about Matthew. About men. That they are not to be trusted. It’s so hard to hear and when I’m with her I wonder if I’m being fooled again.”

  “Then listen to me. Your friend. I know you love Matthew. I know he loves you. Let go of your mistrust and what your stepfather has done. He is just one man. Trust that maybe God wants to give you something good. You’re allowed to take things when they’re given to you. You just have to remember who the giver is.”

  Cory wanted too badly to believe her friend, and took comfort from the conviction in Kelsey’s voice. And in that moment she realized how few times in her life sh
e had allowed herself to take. To receive.

  Holding the box close to her, Cory stood.

  “And maybe when you’re home,” Kelsey continued, “you might want to give that poor, suffering man a call.” Kelsey balled up the paper and shook her head. “And you could ask him, from me, why a doll?”

  In spite of her sorrow, Cory laughed. She knew why. “Thanks. You’re a true friend.”

  “My only concern is for you, Cory. You know that. Let yourself be happy.”

  Cory thought of what Kelsey told her as she got into her car, as she set the doll on the seat beside her. She drove away from the restaurant and, on a whim, took a detour past the park where Matthew had met her for the first time.

  She got out and walked over to the picnic table where she had heard that Zeke Smith was dead. That he was no longer a part of her and her mother’s lives.

  How much had changed since that day, she thought, looking around.

  She lowered her head into her hands and began to pray. She didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. So she simply opened her heart to God, let Him understand what she felt. Her confusion. Her fear. I know Your love is perfect, she prayed. I know You want to give. Teach me to take. Teach me to receive.

  God’s love was perfect, untainted by human emotions and once again she let that love heal her.

  Once again tears slipped down her cheeks, but this time they were tears of healing.

  She let the moment cleanse her and then, getting up from the picnic bench, she knew what she had to do.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Is Cory there?” Matthew asked when Kelsey answered the phone.

  “She just left.” Kelsey paused a moment. “She got your package, by the way. I don’t know if this is how lawyers go courting, but where I come from flowers is usually the way to go.”

  “What did she say?”

  “You made her cry and you made her smile.”

  Matthew’s heart contracted at that.

  “She also said that she knew what it meant.” Kelsey snorted. “Honestly you two have the strangest courtship going.”

  “Was she happy at all?”