by Claire Adams
“I have to run some errands today, so you’ll spend the day with Grandma, okay?” My mom was great; she was willing to watch Margie anytime I needed her to. Sometimes my neighbor, Tiffany, watched her for me, but I didn’t want to put that responsibility on her too often.
“Okay, Daddy,” she said. I could tell she was excited. She loved to spend time with her grandma.
I grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl on the kitchen island and brought it to her. Despite letting her eat sugary cereal, I still wanted her to have some nutrients with her breakfast. I made myself a chocolate protein shake and downed it quickly. I needed to replace everything I burned the night before.
“Did you hurt the other guy, Daddy?” she asked me this question after every fight. She was very concerned with everyone’s wellbeing, and I loved that about her. She was caring and constantly worried about others. I hoped she would hold onto that trait throughout her life.
“No. He wasn’t hurt.” It was a lie. It had taken the guy a little bit to get up, and when we shook hands, he seemed to be in a lot of pain. That wasn’t something I was going to tell my four-year-old daughter, though. I didn’t want her to ever be afraid of me. She didn’t really understand how my career worked, and it would be a while before she did.
We talked about her cartoons as she finished her breakfast. She was a talkative little girl. Unless she didn’t trust you. She was hesitant around strangers, and her intuition was almost always right. I loved that about her, because it meant she would never trust the wrong people.
My mom showed up an hour after breakfast.
“Thanks for watching her again. I should only be a few hours,” I said as I gave my mom a hug.
“I don’t mind at all. You know that. I love spending time with my little girl,” she said before pulling Margie in for a big hug.
I loved watching them together. Other than my mom, Margie didn’t have many female role models, which made me sad to think about. I wanted her to grow up with a strong female role model in her life. I knew it helped her to spend time with my mom, but I still felt guilty that she didn’t have a mother.
My mom and Margie left, and I hurried to take a shower. I was sore from the fight the night before, so I turned the shower on as hot as it would go. It usually helped my aching muscles until I could get to my appointment with Anna.
That girl was so good with her hands. She worked her magic on me every time, and it was no wonder I kept seeing her. No one had ever been able to work through my knots like Anna. All the tension faded from my body the second her hands touched my skin.
I instantly got hard every time I thought of her. I hadn’t been with a woman since my wife died, so it didn’t take much to make me hard. I thought about Anna as I stripped down and stepped into the shower. She had the perfect body, with all the right curves in all the right places.
Her dark hair and dark eyes were alluring to me. She wasn’t a bottle blonde, and I loved that. In a world where everyone was trying to meet the same definition of beautiful, Anna stood out. She was different, unique.
The more I thought about her, the harder I became, and I started to stroke myself. Just thinking about her being at the fight last night was driving me crazy. She looked amazing in her little white t-shirt and fitted jeans. I wanted to see what was under those clothes.
I pictured myself leading her into the cage and kissing her. Feeling her mouth on mine, our tongues moving. Then I imagined removing her clothes and fucking her. Feeling how wet her pussy got.
Within a few minutes and a few hard strokes, I was coming in the shower. It was amazing. But I found myself wishing I could really be with her. I wanted to show her a good time. I wanted to learn the curves of her body with my hands, not just my eyes.
I stepped out of the shower feeling more relaxed than I had when I woke up that morning. I got dressed and made my way to Markie’s hangout.
I had to meet him today to discuss some betting options. On myself. I needed the extra money, and I knew I was a good fighter. By betting on myself, I would win the fight and earn even more money from the bets. Hopefully it would be enough to knock down all the medical bills. I needed some sort of a break to get financially ahead.
His hangout was right by the gym where I trained, and I didn’t really want people to see me go inside. The fighting community knew about him. They knew where he hung out. I didn’t think anyone would really care, but I still didn’t need or want any rumors flying around about me. When I left my house, I made sure to put on a baggy hoody and pull a hat over my head. It wasn’t much of a disguise, but this way no one would recognize me with a passing glance.
I looked around in case anyone I knew was in the vicinity. When I didn’t recognize anyone, I walked into the bar. It was smoky and dark like always. I spotted Markie sitting in a corner booth. I walked over to him quickly. When I greeted him, he just sort of grunted at me. It was normal for him to act this way. He was an asshole. He had gained a lot of power around town for being the biggest, baddest asshole. People didn’t particularly like him, but they feared him. That was the only reason why he had so many lackeys with him all the time.
“I want to make a bet,” I said. I waited for him to motion for me to sit down. If he didn’t want me there, his bodyguard would kick me out.
He pointed to the seat across from him, and I sat down. I wasn’t sure what to expect. He could cause some serious hurt in my life if he wanted to, so I knew I had to work him a certain way.
“It’s about time Mr. Goody-Good comes over to the dark side. I’ve been tellin’ my guys how much of a badass you’d be if you just dipped your toe into somethin’ real for a change.”
I nodded my head because I didn’t know to say to him at that moment. I wasn’t the kind of person to seek out a loan shark for fun. This was serious business to me. If I had the money, there was no way I would be anywhere near him. Ever.
He rested his cigar in the ashtray and leaned over the table. He folded his hands in front of him and looked me up and down slowly. When he finally spoke, he asked, “What kind of bet are you lookin’ to make?”
He had one gold tooth that shone when the light hit it. I think he got it to make himself look tougher, but I thought it made him look like a phony. I didn’t dare say that aloud, though. Not there. Not in his place of business.
I looked him in the eyes to let him know I was serious about this and that I was not going to back down. He wouldn’t loan me the money if he sensed even a small amount of fear.
“I want to bet on myself for my next fight.”
Markie’s eyes lit up with excitement, and his lips spread across his face with a sadistic grin. “Careful—you don’t wanna get cocky.” He nudged his bodyguard, who snorted lamely. I looked at the bodyguard and wondered why someone would want to live their life surrounded by fake affection. The guy was clearly only into Markie for the power and money. I could tell he didn’t really think his boss was funny.
I leaned in a little bit. I didn’t want to seem like I was backing down. I stared Markie down for a few seconds. I didn’t blink. I didn’t turn away.
“I’m serious, Markie. I can win. I know I will, but I really need the extra money right now. I’ve got old bills piled up so high I can barely see straight. I’m sick of it. Something’s gotta give.”
I really needed for him to take me seriously because if he didn’t, who knew what would happen to me. This place was full of Markie’s minions. They would have me out on my ass in a second if Markie gave the word.
“You know it’s gonna cost you a pretty penny, right?” he asked.
“Yeah. That’s why I was hoping I could get a loan from you,” I said. My voice was firm, confident.
Markie laughed and picked his cigar back up. He took a long puff and blew it at me. I thought it was rude, but I knew better than to say anything. “You know what happens when people don’t pay me back, right?”
I tried not to show how nervous I was. I knew exactly what happened when so
meone flaked on Markie. They got hurt. Badly. Sometimes they lost their house. Sometimes they lost a finger. Sometimes worse.
“Yeah, I know,” I said with a confident nod.
“It’ll be a pretty penny. Ten grand is the lowest I go.”
“I’ll take it,” I said quickly. I didn’t need to think twice about it.
“Alright. You understand that if you don’t pay me back, I’ll come after everything you own and everything you love.”
“Yes,” I said without breaking eye contact. I held out my hand. We shook on it, and I excused myself. I heard him laughing as I left the bar.
When I stepped back outside, I made sure to cover my head again. I went right home and thought about the decision I’d just made. It worried me more than I wanted to admit. I did have a daughter, and he was great at threatening families. Still, I knew I could do it. I’d be able to pay off all the back bills, win my fight, and pay Markie back. There wouldn’t be anything for me to worry about after Wednesday. I pushed the sick feeling down and cleared my head. I didn’t want to think about what could happen.
I let my mom know I was back from running my errands, and she returned with Margie twenty minutes later.
“Daddy! Grandma took me to the play area in the mall! I met a little girl named Lily, and we played together the whole time!” she said as she wrapped her little arms around me.
“That’s awesome, baby,” I said and held her close. I was determined to make her proud of me and to give her an amazing life. She would have everything her heart desired.
I thanked my mom again for watching Margie and said goodbye. After she left, I sat down on the couch to watch a movie with my beautiful, smart, funny daughter. I needed to spend more time with her.
I started to realize how selfish it was to go get massages all the time. Both because it cost money and because it took away from spending time with Margie. As much as I enjoyed seeing Anna, I knew it wasn’t necessarily the best thing for my daughter. I held Margie close and came to a conclusion that made me a little sad.
Chapter Four
Anna
Sunday drug on endlessly. It had been a rather productive day. I cleaned my house and then went into the studio to make sure everything was organized. I was a good masseuse and needed to stay fit for my clients, so I never spent a lot of extra time just laying around. I stayed busy, but my mind never drifted far from thoughts of Justin. When Monday finally arrived, I couldn’t help the way I felt.
There were still a couple hours before Justin’s appointment, but I was already nervous. I didn’t understand why I was so nervous. I was always more excited for Justin’s appointments than my other clients. That part wasn’t new, but I had never been so nervous before one of his appointments.
I busied myself with paperwork so I wouldn’t hype myself up too much before he got there. When I heard the front door open, I whirled around quickly with a smile already on my face. I turned to see Ally walking in. My face fell immediately. I hated to admit it, but I was disappointed it wasn’t Justin. I thought he had decided to show up a little early.
“There’s my favorite sister,” Ally said in her “I just graduated college and don’t have much to worry about right now” voice.
Her lack of responsibility made me a little jealous. She lived with roommates, so her rent was fairly cheap. She had a paid internship for the summer, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it was like to be her, so relaxed and care free.
“I’m your only sister,” I said. I didn’t want to deal with her right then. I was too nervous, and I didn’t want her to sense it. I knew she would pull my leg again like she did at Justin’s fight. As hard as I tried though, I just could not seem to calm down. My face, like always, gave me away.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Great, I thought to myself. Here we go. “Yeah, I’m fine. What are you doing here?” I started tapping my pen on the counter.
“Just wanted to come by and see my sister. Is that a crime?”
The funny thing is, she never really took the time out of her day to just stop by and see me unless she needed something. Whether it was money, or there was something she just had to tell me in person. I really did love my sister, and I tried to keep my irritation in check, but it was hard. I was sure it was just a big-sister-little-sister thing.
“No, but I am pretty busy today,” I said, trying my best to keep my voice calm and even. If she thought I was annoyed it would just prompt her to find out what was wrong. She wouldn’t leave until she got to the bottom of it.
She started telling me about something with her internship, but I was too focused on other things to really pay attention to what she was saying.
“Are you listening to me?” she asked. I hadn’t responded to anything she was saying. She had been talking for a full two minutes, but for some reason, everything she had said had gone in one ear and out the other.
“Yeah, totally,” I lied.
Ally eyed me for a minute before she finally asked, “Why are you so nervous?”
“I’m not,” I said. I shook my head at her like she was crazy.
“Then stop tapping your pen on the counter,” she said, pointing at the pen in my hand. Without realizing it, I had been erratically beating it against my desk since Ally walked in. I stopped.
“Fine. If you must know, Justin has an appointment today, and I’m a little antsy. Alright?”
Ally laughed. “I should have guessed it was about him. Man, you have it bad for him, and you guys aren’t even seeing each other. You might as well just admit it.”
“I do not ‘have it bad’ for him,” I said, making air quotes around what she said.
“Yes. You do. If you just be honest with yourself, it’ll make things easier for you in the long run.”
I let out an exasperated breath that would hopefully let her know I was not in the mood to play her games right then. “Fine. He’s hot. Are you happy?”
“No, it’s more than just that.”
It took everything in me to keep from shoving her out the front door and locking it behind her. I stared at her, clearly frustrated, but she just stared back with a silent challenge on her face.
“Okay, yes. He’s hot and funny and a fucking great fighter. Which is a huge turn on for me, by the way, which I had no idea it would be. I like him a lot.” I paused when a horrifying realization dawned on me. “Oh no. You could see it all over my face, couldn’t you?”
“I could the other night, too,” she said, reading my mind. She plopped down in a waiting chair. She picked up one of the magazines laying on the table in front of her and began mindlessly thumbing through it. “You’re really transparent,” she said, almost as if she were really bored with the subject at hand. As if it was something that should be obvious to everyone in the world.
“Fuck. I wish I wasn’t. I don’t want him to find out so easily. I really hope I can keep my shit together,” I said.
“I’m sure he can tell.”
My mouth almost fell open. I didn’t know why she had to be so blunt.
“It’s fine. He totally wants you too,” she said, still thumbing through the magazine.
I wanted her to leave. Every word out of her mouth made me feel even worse. I was already nervous enough about seeing Justin. I did not need anything else weighing on my mind during his session.
“You really should go,” I said. “I have to finish getting ready for my next appointment.” It was a lie. My next appointment was Justin, and that was still about an hour away. Ally was driving me crazy, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
“You mean for Justin?” she said with a small laugh. She stood up and added, “Call me later and give me the deets. Okay? Bye. Love you!” She waved behind her and let the front door slam as she disappeared into the parking lot. Ally showing up unannounced had always been a huge pet peeve of mine. It was trumped only by her tendency to make me admit things I never wanted to admit. Like my feelings for Justin.
With All
y gone, I felt a little less nervous, but my heart was still pounding uncomfortably inside my chest. I went back to my paperwork and reorganized a few things to pass the time. Staying busy helped keep my nerves in check.
An hour later, right on time, Justin walked in. He seemed a little different today. His eyes looked darker, more thoughtful, and his face was downcast. It almost seemed like something was bothering him. All of his excitement from Saturday was gone.
“Hey,” I said. I couldn’t quite pinpoint what I was feeling in the air between us. There was tension, but I didn’t know if I was imagining it. “You ready?”
“Hey,” he said back. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
I led him to a massage room in the back, and he stripped down to his boxers before lying face down on the cot. I usually left the room before a client changed. So, I hadn’t been expecting him to just change before I had a chance to leave the room.
I started to massage him slowly. I worked on his shoulder blades first and slowly worked my way down his back. His muscles were a little more tense than usual, and the room was scorching. I tried to keep my mind from getting worked up, but for some reason, it was a lot harder today than it had been before. Looking at Justin’s bare skin was enough to make me sweat.
“How was your Sunday?” I asked casually, trying to make small talk. I needed something to do to keep my mind off my wayward thoughts. If I didn’t get myself under control, I might have ended up trying to seduce him right then and there. I surely would have humiliated myself and lost a great client in the process.
“It was good. How was yours?” he asked. His voice was muffled slightly by the table.
“It was alright. I cleaned mostly,” I said. I paused and debated whether to keep the conversation going or not. I decided it couldn’t hurt. “Did you do anything fun?”
“Not really.” His short answer told me I should probably stop asking questions. I didn’t know how to handle his surly mood. Justin was always a lot more talkative during our sessions. In fact, most of the time he was the one asking me the questions and not the other way around.
