Duality

by Heather Atkinson

  “You look amazing,” whispered Jackson when she reached the altar.

  “Thank Christ for that,” she grinned, her smile dropping when she saw the vicar’s disapproving look. “Sorry.”

  Amber wanted to keep a close eye on Mikey during the ceremony, needing to see his expression, wondering if he’d look sad but she couldn’t see him directly from where she was stood at the front of the church, not without turning her head and drawing attention to herself. She hoped the cheating bastard was miserable.

  When the vicar asked if anyone had any lawful impediment to this marriage Amber held her breath, certain someone was going to barge their way through the door and ruin things when she was so close to finding some peace. She was so tense her hands crushed the stems of her bouquet. But nothing happened. Then it was announced that Jules and Jackson were husband and wife and they kissed. Instantly she cheered. It was over.

  As everyone watched the new bride and groom parade down the aisle, arm in arm, Amber chanced a glance Mikey’s way, her heart sinking when she saw his was the only stony face in the church.

  The reception was held in a huge marquee set up in the stunning grounds of a stately home. It had the fairytale aspect Jules had desired with a lake with swans, sunken flowerbeds, pergolas, fountains and lots of large wooden gates leading into colourful walled gardens.

  Mikey sat at a table at the back of the marquee, watching Jules and Jackson gently swaying together on the dance floor, gazing into each other’s eyes. Amber had gone to the bathroom so he felt it was safe to watch. Jules hadn’t been lying, she clearly loved Jackson. He’d spent weeks preparing himself for this day and when he’d woken up that morning he’d been sure he’d be able to cope but inside he was hurting. Somehow he just knew that should have been him up there with her, this should have been his day.

  “Do you think he’s got any idea what he’s let himself in for?” smiled Mark, nodding in Jules’s direction. It was only said jokingly, like the rest of his colleagues he was very fond of Jules.

  “Must be a masochist,” commented Grant through a mouthful of wedding cake.

  “How many slices of that have you had?” said Mark. “You’re a greedy bastard.”

  “Not as many as Shane, he’s on his fourth.”

  “I’m a growing lad,” mumbled Shane through a mouthful of sponge and icing. “Growing upwards, unlike you lot who are growing outwards.”

  “Listen to the cheeky little sod,” said Grant, laughing.

  Mikey tuned out their banter. Normally he would have joined in but today it was getting on his nerves and he had to stop himself from telling them to shut up.

  “Who’s keeping an eye out?” he said instead.

  “Bill and John on the lookout,” replied Declan. “Plus Battler and Bruiser have got some of their men on it too. No one’s getting in if we don’t want them to.”

  “Good,” he sighed, so preoccupied he failed to notice how cold his cousin’s eyes grew when talking to him. Mikey wished it was time to go home but before that he wanted a word with Jules. They’d avoided each other as much as they could after that time in his office and he wanted her to know that it was all okay, that she could come back to work after she’d had the baby. It had been worrying him lately that she’d want to find another job. He might not get to be with her but he still wanted to see her every day.

  When Jackson relinquished his new bride to dance with his young cousin - the bloody goody two shoes - Mikey spotted his chance. He leapt up and wandered over to her, unaware of Declan watching, his expression grim.

  “Would Mrs Driscoll like to dance?”

  “Yes I would Mr Maguire,” she smiled.

  He took her in his arms, careful not to hold her too closely.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d come,” she said as they slowly moved about the dance floor.

  “How could I miss it? You’re happy?”

  She nodded. “Very.”

  “Then that’s all that matters.”

  “I want the same for you.”

  “I’m happy with Amber.” He forced a smile. “Honestly.”

  “Good because me and Jax have been talking and I’ll be back to work when the baby’s six months old. We’ve had another scan by the way, I’m having a girl.”

  “But you already knew that,” he said with a gentle smile. “Sounds like you’ve got it all sorted.”

  “I have.”

  He took a moment just to enjoy the feel of her in his arms before saying, “you’re a beautiful bride. Jackson is a lucky man.”

  “Damn right he is and I’m a lucky woman.”

  He planted a soft kiss on her cheek, inhaling her scent. “Congratulations.”

  A loud screech from the entrance of the marquee had everyone turning to see what the source of the noise was.

  Estelle staggered in, gaudily dressed in a tight white blouse and electric pink skirt that was almost obscenely short. It was clear she was drunk, tottering about on high heels, clutching a cheap leather handbag.

  “You didn’t invite her, did you?” said Mikey, shocked.

  “Course I bloody didn’t,” said Jules, disentangling herself from him.

  Ryan and Jez hastily moved to intercept Estelle but Jules reached her first.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded.

  “I’ve come to see my little girl get married,” Estelle slurred, swaying on her feet, reaching out to touch her face.

  Jules knocked her hand away. “I am not your little girl.”

  “Why did you have to come here today Estelle?” said Jez, coming up behind Jules and placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

  “I already said. I want to see my daughter get married.”

  “I don’t know how you got in here but I want you out. Now,” said Jules.

  Jackson emerged from the direction of the toilets and rushed over to his new bride, upset by how distraught she looked.

  “What’s going on?” he said, sliding his arm around her waist.

  Estelle’s eyes lit up when she saw Jackson. “And here’s the groom.” Her gaze roamed up and down him lasciviously. “You’ve picked a lovely hunk of a man there Jules. Does he know you swing both ways?”

  For the first time in her life Jules actually cared what someone thought of her because Jackson’s parents were present and they were good people who had done their best to welcome her into their family and pretend they weren’t horrified their only son was marrying a Maguire. Working to make a good impression was a first for Jules but she was determined to make a success of her marriage and getting the approval of her husband’s family was a big part of that. Now this drunken nightmare was standing before her threatening to destroy her life all over again. She was glad she was pregnant because at least it meant she wouldn’t be tempted to beat the shit out of her.

  “Just get out. You’re not welcome,” said Jules.

  “But my family’s here - you, my sons, my gorgeous new son-in-law and all my grandchildren.”

  Leah, who was stood off to one side watching, put her hand to her mouth, wide eyed. Was this mess her grandmother?

  Ryan - who was astonished Estelle was here after he put her on a boat to Brindisi - placed himself between Estelle and Jules, not wanting his sister agitated in her condition. “For the first time in your life do the right thing for your children and leave,” he said quietly. “Don’t spoil her big day.”

  “I’m her mum, she needs me here,” she said, attempting to push him aside and failing.

  “She needs you to leave. Now.”

  Estelle’s eyes filled with malice and she snatched a glass of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter. “To the bride and groom,” she called, raising her glass. “May her criminal, murdering lifestyle not destroy the marriage before it’s begun.”

  Jules released a growl of anger and hung her head, humiliated. Incensed, it was Jackson who snatched the glass from Estelle’s hand, dumped it on a table and flung her over his shoulder. “Yo
u are out of here you nasty old cow,” he barked, walking briskly to the exit.

  “Woo-hoo Jules,” cried Estelle. “Looks like your new husband has finally got some taste and wants a real woman.”

  “Don’t,” said Jez when Jules opened her mouth to yell back at her. “You still have your dignity, something she never had.”

  Jules shuddered in a breath, hands shaking with rage.

  “You know the radiant bride is a dirty criminal,” rang out Estelle’s voice as she was carried to the exit. “And she wouldn’t know what to do with a man like this. She’s a fucking lezzer,” she screeched seconds before Jackson dragged her outside.

  Jules released another grunt of anger, hands balled into fists. “I’m going to fucking kill her.”

  Ryan took hold of her hands. “Look at me.”

  Jules’s furious grey eyes flicked up to meet his, which were equally furious but the control he was exhibiting over his rage went a long way to calming her. “Do not sink to her level,” he said. “You are not like her. You are better.”

  Jules breathed deeply, put a hand to her belly and nodded. “Damn right I am.”

  Ryan smiled when she grinned mischievously.

  “It’s alright big brother, you can let go now. I won’t go on the rampage,” she said with a wink.

  He relinquished her, watching with pride as she turned to face the room with a calm smile. “I do hope you all enjoyed the cabaret. If anyone is thinking of hiring her for another event she is available most weekends.”

  Laughter rippled around the room, the ice well and truly broken and everyone returned to talking or dancing or doing whatever they were doing.

  “Well?” Jules smiled at her brothers.

  “We’re so proud of you,” said Ryan, kissing her cheek.

  “Damn right,” said Jez. “I don’t think I could have held back like you did.”

  Jules looked past them to Jackson, who was walking back to her, a pissed off look on his face.

  “My hero,” she said, flinging herself into his arms and kissing him.

  “I’ll go and whack our security around the head,” said Mikey dourly. Jez grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He whispered something in Mikey’s ear, who nodded before hastily exiting the tent, telling himself the pain in his chest was a heart attack and nothing to do with Jules.

  The incident had left Leah a little shaken. Had that horrible woman been her grandmother?

  “You okay sweetie?”

  Leah jumped at the sound of her mum’s voice. “Yeah, fine.”

  “Do you want to know who that woman was?”

  Leah nodded a little uncertainly.

  “She’s your dad’s mum as well as Aunty Jules’s and Uncle Jez’s.”

  “So she’s not related to me by blood?”

  “No.”

  Leah was relieved about that. She thought of her lovely grandma Gill and her nana Martina, who she had adored but who was dead now and who she missed every day. They were nothing like that monster and she was glad. “Dad hates her. Now I see why. She treated him really badly when he was a kid.”

  “That’s true honey but your dad is so strong, you should be proud of him.”

  “I am,” she smiled. “I always am.”

  Rachel hugged her. “What did we do to deserve you?” She was distracted by a tug on her dress. She looked down to see Ethan staring up at her. “Mummy, what’s a lezzer?”

  “Thank you Estelle,” sighed Rachel while Leah laughed.

  When her mum turned to speak to Ethan, Leah ducked outside to see Estelle being led away, hissing and screeching at the men who worked for her Uncle Mikey and Uncle Jez. Uncle Mikey himself was watching her go with a frown, arms crossed over his chest. Leah really liked Uncle Mikey but she’d avoided him today because he seemed to be in a really bad mood about something. Anger grabbed hold of Leah as she watched that evil cow still making a spectacle of herself, shouting horrible things about her dad and Aunty Jules.

  Leah stormed up to her and slapped her hard across the face. Estelle was so startled she actually stopped screeching.

  “Who the hell are you?” she demanded.

  “Who the hell am I?” yelled Leah. “Your granddaughter you stupid ugly old witch.”

  Estelle smirked, her cheek reddening. “Little Leah, Danny Maguire’s daughter.”

  “Not his, Ryan Law’s.”

  “Shame for you pet, going from a legend for a father to a pathetic, snivelling little boy.”

  “Don’t talk about him like that,” she cried.

  “I should know, I raised him, the little shit. I feel sorry for you with that as the only dad you know.”

  Mikey came racing up, putting a hand on Leah’s back. “Get that thing out of here,” he told his men, gesturing to Estelle.

  “No, wait,” said Leah.

  “Let her go,” Mikey quietly told Leah. “She’s poison. Don’t let her in your head.”

  “She hurt my dad and my uncle and my aunty,” went on Leah, blue eyes bright and hard.

  “They’re not your family, they’re nothing to you,” sneered Estelle. “Losers, the lot of them.” Estelle’s flint eyes flicked to Mikey. “He’s a real man, a real legend. Forget the Laws, get to know the Maguires. If it wasn’t for them your precious daddy, uncle and aunty would be dead in a ditch somewhere, crushed by the might of the Maguires.”

  “You are so full of shit Estelle,” said Mikey. “The Laws and Maguires are all one family now, a family you’re not a part of, so do one.”

  “Oh I’m going, I don’t want anything to do with you twisted incestuous lot, all shagging each other all the time.” She looked back at Leah. “You’re probably Ryan’s anyway, your mum’s a right slag who put it about even when she was married to Danny.”

  “That’s not true and you know it,” said Mikey. “Rachel never cheated on Danny once.”

  “Shows what you know. That’s why Alex went mental, because he found out about her and Ryan. If she hadn’t been such a slag he wouldn’t have cut her throat.”

  “That’s it, you’re gone,” bellowed Mikey.

  “No, wait,” said Leah. She looked up at Estelle, who was glaring at her with triumph. “Is that true?”

  “Yeah it is and everyone knows it, even him,” she snarled, gesturing at Mikey. She looked back at Leah. “So you could be Ryan’s. Judging by the way you look like you’re going to cry you probably are.”

  Leah tossed back her head. “You’re so bothered about who my dad is that you’ve forgotten I’m my mother’s daughter.” With that she drew back her fist and punched Estelle full in the face, knocking her flat on her back.

  “Get that thing out of here,” Mikey told his men who nodded, dragged a dazed Estelle to her feet and pulled her away.

  “You’ve got a cracking right hook there Leah,” said Mikey, actually smiling.

  Leah stared at her fist in surprise. “I can’t believe I did that.” She grimaced. “It hurts.”

  “You’ve had a shock. Sit down and I’ll get you some ice,” he said, steering her to a wrought iron bench outside the marquee.

  Leah nodded dumbly and sat down, cradling her aching hand. Mikey disappeared inside and returned a minute later with some ice wrapped in a napkin.

  “Here,” he said, sitting beside her. “Wrap that around your hand.”

  “Will it bruise?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Mum will go ballistic.”

  “Probably but secretly she’ll be proud.”

  “Was it true what Estelle said about Mum when she was married to Danny?”

  “It’s not my place to tell you.”

  “Please Uncle Mikey. They won’t tell me because they want to protect me but I have to know…”

  “If there’s a chance you really are Ryan’s daughter?”

  She nodded, eyes wide and tearful.

  “You’re not honey. I’m sorry but you’re Danny’s. There’s no doubt.”

  She sighed and flung herself back i
n her seat.

  “Is it so bad being Danny Maguire’s daughter?”

  “I love my dad, I want to be his daughter.”

  “You are his daughter in every way that matters. He loves you to pieces.”

  “Danny hurt Mum. Dad would never do that.”

  “Your mum loved Danny and Danny loved you. Yes he behaved like an idiot once but he grew up and he was a good husband to her.”

  “If he was such a good husband then why did she and Dad…” She trailed off, not sure how to phrase it.

  “Your mum and Danny weren’t together when that happened. They’d split up but they got back together.”

  “She loved Dad even then?”

  Mikey was surprised by how grown-up she sounded. It seemed Leah understood a lot more than any of them gave her credit for. “Yes she did. I’m really not sure I should be telling you this…”

  “I have to know the truth Uncle Mikey,” she said in a way that was way beyond her years. “Please. Everyone treats me like a little kid but I have to know, I just have to.”

  “Alright,” he sighed. “I get that but it’s all in the past. Your mum and dad are together and they love each other like crazy.”

  “I know. They’re always kissing. It’s gross.”

  He released a chuckle.

  “Uncle Mikey?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Is it true that Alex cut Mum’s throat because of what she did with Dad when she was married to Danny?”

  “No,” he said firmly. “That happened because Alex was insane. He hurt everyone who loved him. Is that why you don’t want to be Danny’s daughter, because of what his brother did to your mum?”

  She nodded sadly. “I don’t want anything to do with them, I don’t want their blood.” She realised what she’d said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean you Uncle Mikey, I like you, you’re nice.”

  “Well I’m glad about that,” he smiled. “But not all Maguires are bad. I’m not, your Nana Martina wasn’t.”

  Leah shook her head. “No. She was lovely.”

  “And you never met your Grandad Frank but he was an amazing man and he would have adored you, he couldn’t wait to be a grandad.”

  “But he died too.”