Back to the Dream

by Felicitas Ivey

  "Does it matter?” I asked dully. I sipped at my tea, feeling my throat ease. I sensed that there was something in it, but it wasn't what they had been drugging me with before.

  "There is trouble,” she said softly. “I fear that treachery was involved with what happened to Keno and your lady."

  "He liked having a family again,” I said, not really listening to what she had to say. I was wondering where the nearest katana was and who I could ask to be my second. I didn't want to live having lost Keno again.

  "Pay attention,” Fuse chided gently. “This is important."

  "It isn't,” I told her.

  "Don't be hasty,” she said. “I don't think that things are as bad—"

  "Tamazusa no longer holds this kuni,” I shouted. “She is gone. Keno... Keno would protect her with his last breath.” My voice broke on the last word. I took a deep breath and fought not to start howling my denial of what had happened to the heavens for a second time.

  "That does not mean that either one of them are dead,” Fuse snapped.

  I stared at her dumbly. She looked tired and out of sorts, and I wondered how long I had been unconscious.

  "I am not a lord,” she continued in a calmer tone of voice, “but my husband is, and most of my sons are. I know of the power, the bargains one has with the land, the kuni's power and the responsibility it demands."

  "He is gone,” I snarled. “I should have—"

  "Who was she meeting with?” Fuse asked, interrupting me.

  I shrugged, since it didn't matter now, since the dead have no secrets to keep. “Iida Hideaki of Tsushima. He was interested in striking some sort of bargain with her."

  Tsushima was a small island on the tip of Nippon, so far south and west that it was almost not in Nippon, on the borders of the southern barbarians known as the Egyptians. I found it to be a cheerless place the one or two times I had visited it. There wasn't much there, and I wondered how Iida stood to spend any time there.

  "The rumors are that he was looking for a consort,” Fuse said thoughtfully. “But I doubt that Tamazusa would have bargained with him about that. Unless she managed to ally with him or offer him support without her body being part of the bargain. So they would have had very little to talk about."

  "How do you know about that?” I asked, feeling a faint stir of curiosity.

  She smiled. “I have sons, and there are many who will talk to them. And my sons talk to me. But I think there is a reason Iida approached her that was not in the rumors. I think that is why what happened has happened."

  "And Iida-sama had approached me,” Inuyama Dousetsu said from the doorway. “He was hoping that I would ally with him, because of what had happened in the real world. I declined, telling him I would deal with you in my own manner."

  I actually was glad to see him. He would be very happy to be my second and take my head as I committed seppuku. I had done him a grave injustice when he had been alive, and I knew he would be happy to end my existence. I slowly pushed myself up and off the bed to stand.

  "Would you do me the honor of being my second?” I asked Inuyama.

  He looked startled for a second and then threw a frantic glance at his mother, begging wordlessly for her to deal with this. Inuyama was a serious man, called dour by many, but he didn't know how to deal with me right now. I knew he wasn't comfortable with my relationship with Keno and that he didn't understand how I could love Keno so much.

  "Aboshi!” Fuse exclaimed, clearly annoyed. It was odd that she was calling me by my first name, especially with no honorific attached, but I believed that she was out of patience with me.

  "I think that you might want to wait,” Inuyama said after Fuse glared at him.

  "About Iida. Do you know why no one ever manages to take that small island he has?” Inuyama asked.

  "Because no one wants it,” I told him snidely.

  "While it lacks the amenities you might want, it is a strategic foothold that could lead to an invasion of Nippon,” Inuyama explained patiently. I didn't like seeing the pity in his face. “None of those foolish enough to think they could take the island have ever done so. I think that it is because its lord has made bargains not just with the land, but with the sea."

  I didn't care about what the man had done, except for the fact that he had killed my lover and the woman I thought of as a sister. “I will kill him,” I growled, sounding more like an animal than anything.

  "You can't leave here,” Fuse said. “The land is not calm. You need to—"

  "You think that I would hold this place?” I demanded.

  "Samojirou-sama,” Fuse started softly, trying to get me to see reason. “I know that you wish to join my son in death. I am just asking you to wait. I feel that he isn't gone. Something happened out there, but we don't know what."

  "I don't believe you."

  "He'll join you if you kill yourself and he gets back here,” Inuyama said roughly. “Do you want that? Keno... I don't understand your relationship, how he is happy being your lover. How he is different because of his time in the real word and being reborn. But he will not live without you. Do you want to be the cause of his death because you couldn't wait? Do you love him so little?"

  "He's gone,” I repeated numbly.

  "Wait,” Inuyama said, echoing his mother. “Trust her."

  "Tamazusa would not yield her control of the land, no matter who was threatened,” I said flatly. “She is gone. Her Reavers have left. Her ties to the land have been severed."

  "That doesn't mean that she and Keno are dead,” Fuse repeated. “Think! Such things have happened before."

  I looked at both of them with dull eyes. The silence stretched out, and I finally noticed another one of Keno's brothers, Inukai Genpachi, was here. He didn't hold a kuni, and so I saw what Fuse's plan was: replace Tamazusa with one of her sons if I refused to take the kuni. I didn't blame her. Her family was a power in the North, and they wanted someone they could trust at their backs.

  "It has happened more than you think,” Inukai said quietly. “It is just that most think the holder is dead when they lose power."

  "They're both gone,” I said.

  "We'll dose you with that tea again, if you don't shut up,” Inuyama threatened.

  Fuse just looked at the three of us and shook her head.

  "I think that it would be better if you left us, Mother,” Inukai said.

  "Please do,” Inuyama added. “And neither one us, nor will any of the other samurai here, act as his second at this time. You need to rest."

  She nodded after hesitating a second and left the room. I just stood there. Inuyama and Inukai looked at each other, and then Inukai said softly, “Why don't you sit down?"

  "I'll find a way,” I stated, even as I sat down. It was just easier to follow orders right now. Once they stopped worrying about me, I'd find a way to kill myself.

  "We will help you join Keno, if he is gone,” Inukai promised. “We are just counseling you to wait."

  "How long?” I asked after a few heartbeats.

  "About a week,” Inuyama said. He knew I was asking how long I had been unconscious, not how long before I could kill myself. “Okita-san sent for Mother as soon as he could. She cared for you, keeping you unconscious until you were able to make some sort of sense. This is the first time you have done more than scream."

  I nodded. I didn't care. “But...."

  "Mother came alone,” Inukai said. “Then she sent for us."

  "How many of you are here?"

  "Just myself and Dousetsu,” Inukai told me. “Our other brothers are busy and will join us later."

  "Why?” I asked.

  "Think!” Inuyama snapped. “Neither one of us has claimed a kuni. If needed, we can keep the people here protected by claiming it. What Iida has done, however, has brought war back to us."

  "I don't believe you,” I said dully.

  "Do you think that any of us would not avenge the death of our brother Keno?” Inukai asked me gra
vely. He sounded very unlike the man he was, a man of the pleasure quarters. “Shino and the others are gathering their forces to attack Iida-sama. This will tear Nippon apart to avenge our brother, and it will be as it was when we were alive.

  "And I don't doubt that Iida knew this. While it is not widely known who Sakura actually is, there was what happened in the spring, when Mother was being so friendly to Tamazusa-sama. Iida-sama might have believed he had to move soon if the rumors were true, that Tamazusa-sama was willing to take one of us as a consort. If he wanted to ruin Nippon, this was one way to do it. However, he might have tipped his hand too soon, which will be the only thing that will save Nippon."

  "So all of you are going to be here?” I asked.

  "This place isn't defendable,” Inuyama told me. “We're taking you to your capital."

  "Keno was happy here."

  "We know that,” Inuyama grated. “And he is not coming back here to bury you."

  "He's gone."

  Inukai didn't say anything else, and I knew Inuyama wanted to shake me. I didn't believe them. Keno was gone, and the land was looking for another lord. It could be one of them or Iida, I didn't care. I just wanted to be with Keno again.

  "Iida's idiocy will weaken us, and so then others will want to see how weak Nippon is,” Inuyama said sharply. “The Southerners for one."

  "Or whatever Iida has allied himself with,” Inukai added. “I don't doubt that he has allies like Tamazusa-sama's Reavers."

  "I've never seen them,” I said. “The Reavers followed my lady around like loyal dogs. Iida was usually alone."

  "If they can't breathe air, then you wouldn't see them. I don't doubt that Iida has also made bargains with unclean things,” Inukai said. “There are rumors that his villages house things that are evil, that his peasants have a habit of disappearing. That certain nights of the year, maidens and young boys are staked out on the beach, never to be seen again."

  "Keno,” I whispered brokenly, remembering my first glimpse of him, broken from the abuse he had been subjected to.

  I threw back my head and started screaming, not wanting to think about him, about anything anymore. I barely felt the blow Inuyama gave me, welcoming the darkness it brought.

  * * * *

  Keno

  "Egil claims that you used witchcraft against him,” Wolf said.

  It was just after dinner. Egil had spent most of it glaring at me, while Tholf just looked thoughtful. I wore my swords still, because I didn't want them to disappear. I didn't trust anyone here. “He made a complaint to Njalsson about you. Since you seem to be part of my group now, Njalsson talked to me about it. The only thing that seems to be saving you from a charge of witchcraft is that Tholf said you fought without magic, just in a strange style. I tried to explain to him that is your way of fighting, but I still think there will be trouble."

  "I don't know what you are talking about,” I lied. I wasn't going to tell anyone here I had the ability to cast spells, that I just needed some training to do so. I wasn't in any hurry to get it. I enjoyed exploring other things in my life—like Samojirou—too much right now. “I don't know how to cast spells. I also agree with Egil that blood magic is a bad thing."

  Mason looked indecently relieved to hear that, while McGann acted guilty. Wolf was clearly upset about the whole thing. He hadn't been happy to hear I had beaten up two men to get a pair of swords, whether I was going use them or not. I knew he wanted to protect me still. But I didn't need it, and I didn't know if that was making him more upset. I wanted these people to know I wasn't someone who could be pushed around. Mason shouldn't be the one protecting my lord. That was my duty. It was annoying that these people looked at me and saw a child and not a warrior.

  "Is it my fault that these unwashed barbarians have no training in unarmed fighting?” I demanded, getting angry. I had simply been trying to arm myself to protect Tamazusa. It wasn't like I could use any of their swords, because quite frankly, I didn't have the strength to wield one, even if I knew their style of fighting. “It wasn't sorcery that caused my victory over Egil, simply that I train every morning with my lord's samurai. Egil's a clumsy fool compared to Okita-san or Seki-san. And they have no problem with me the rare times that I am able to win a training bout with them or anyone else."

  "They're not going to like that,” Logan said. “They're going to think that you tricked him."

  "And we should care why?” Mason asked, sounding bored about the whole thing.

  Logan shook his head. “We're outnumbered."

  "Fuck it. Let's take a boat and get the fuck out of Dodge, then,” Mason said. “Screw these crazies."

  I didn't think anyone was more surprised than he was when McGann and Tamazusa just looked at each other and nodded. “That sounds like a delightful idea,” Tamazusa almost cooed.

  "Wolf?” McGann asked. She put a lot into that word. Was it a good idea? Was he willing to go along with this? Can we do it?

  "My grandmother is a university professor,” Wolf said. “She knew a professor in the history department who built Viking knorr and other ships."

  "And?” Mason asked.

  "I spent a couple summers working with him. I can pilot and crew a boat. You don't need a lot of people, but knowing where to go might be a problem."

  "Keno and I know the stars here,” Tamazusa said. “We can guide you to Nippon. The ocean is rough there, though, and we'll need a sturdy ship to get through the barrier."

  "Is that what happened to your ship?” Wolf demanded.

  Tamazusa shifted and looked uneasy for a moment. “That was something else. I underestimated the allies Iida-sama had. The ship was destroyed in another manner. I doubt they will be at the barrier when we return, since they've done their duty. They should have returned to the Southern seas."

  "We're stealing a ship, then,” McGann announced after thinking about it for a minute.

  "But where will we be going after that?” Logan asked.

  "There are places we can go. Lands that are closer than my own where we can ask for sanctuary,” Tamazusa said.

  Tamazusa wasn't lying to anyone here. It would be easier to go down the eastern shore of Nippon, than the western one. And while most of my family held the upper eastern part of Nippon, they also held portions of the western side too. They were all closer and easier to get to than Tamazusa's kuni.

  "Shino-sama would be the best person to go to,” I said after thinking about it. “If we miss him, then we can sail down further to Yatsufusa-sama's kuni."

  "He has a kuni?” Mason asked. Actually, he seemed to be the only one who would be rude enough to say something like that, but the others seemed shocked to hear it too.

  "He holds the peninsula Awa is on, here in the Dreamlands,” Tamazusa said with a cool smile. “But I know that there are rumors that Fuse-hime is the real power there, since she has her husband wrapped around her littlest finger, it seems."

  "Most marriages seem like that,” McGann said with a faint smile.

  I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding. I knew some people might have an issue with Yatsufusa and Fuse's relationship. In many places in the real world, it would be considered unnatural, since he was a dog and she was human. If it weren't for the magic involved, it would have been. But Yatsufusa wasn't a dumb animal, no matter what he looked like. I thought that there would be some issues with him giving orders and writing out things, but after all their time here, I bet that something had been worked out to cover this. Also, it wasn't like this place was normal, not with tengu and oni living here. I just wondered why everyone was willing to keep Logan in the dark about who and what Yatsufusa was exactly, what a kuni was, or how important my family was. I guessed they didn't trust him.

  "Yeah, well, so long as your family isn't too pissed at us,” Mason said, “we should be all right."

  * * * *

  Mason

  While stealing a boat was a good idea, all the farm had was fishing boats. They were smaller than
shit, and I didn't trust that they'd survive something like the storm that washed Keno and Tamazusa up, never mind the barrier thing they were talking about. We could take them someplace else, but then we'd have to steal another ship, because I didn't think we had enough money to buy one. Plus I felt guilty about taking stuff from these people. They weren't exactly dirt poor, but I knew that even a shitty boat was a big thing for these people. I called this place a farm, but I didn't see anything like fields and shit like that. Logan told me they survived on sheep herding, fishing, and some gardening. That made more sense, even if I wondered how the lot of them hadn't died of malnutrition or something. It wasn't like we were eating what was called a balanced diet here, and Keno was even more screwed than we were, because he didn't eat meat, which was a large portion of the meals here. Not that it was steak or something good, more like mutton and stringy chickens.

  After a day of hanging around and Keno getting dirty looks from Egil, Tamazusa and I were turning in when I heard a cry from outside. Someone was screaming “Ouous! Ouous!"—whatever that meant. I found out soon enough when Wolf came tearing back to us. He had been tucking McGann into bed.

  "It's a raid,” he snapped, buckling on his armor and sword.

  "We can take one of those ships,” Tamazusa said immediately.

  Wolf looked at her, shocked. He was ready to go out and defend these people. McGann popped out of nowhere with their packs. “It's a good idea,” she said.

  "It'll be a rough ride,” Wolf warned her.

  "I know,” she said. She was looking like shit, so getting out for her was a good idea, before she was worked to death. Helga had managed to give her and Tamazusa every shitty job she could think of. I felt a little guilty about abandoning these people, but shit, sometimes that was part of the job.

  Logan looked at us. “But—"

  "This is the best chance that we have to leave here,” Tamazusa told him. “Their ships are probably on the beach, lightly guarded. We just have to get to them and get them in the water. Hopefully they don't chase after us, but instead return to wherever they came from."

  "Wolf's in charge,” McGann said. “Armor up and get to the beach.” She handed Tamazusa one of the packs. “If you could?"