Back to the Dream

by Felicitas Ivey

  "And what did the two of you figure out?” I asked, trying not to sound too pissed off. I didn't care that I wasn't in on the decision-making process, I just was pissed that they hadn't told me what the decision was yet. But I couldn't throw stones, since I was hiding information from them too. “Aside from the fact that we're up shit creek without a boat, never mind a paddle."

  "I think that would be true if we had stayed in the Northern territories,” McGann said, smiling slightly at my language. “However, here in Nippon, both you and Wolf have allies. I don't doubt that you will be protected by Fuse-hime since you seem to be avatars of her sons. Why you're both in the Dreamlands is something I'm going to leave to wiser heads to figure out."

  "I don't think you're going to be left out in the cold,” I said. “You didn't do anything to piss them off. That was Murphy and the motherfuckin’ Trustees."

  Not to mention Wolf would do anything he could to protect her. And I wouldn't be too far behind him. McGann needed protecting, even as strong as she was, because working for the Trust hadn't burned all the niceness out of her, even with the shit that had gone down with Keno.

  "I wasn't innocent in that, no matter what you want to think,” McGann said, like she was reading my mind. Oh, wait, she could. “And then there was my treatment of Keno. I should have done more to protect him, and I didn't, as Tamazusa-sama pointed out to me."

  "We're as guilty as you are,” Wolf told her quietly. “I should have done something more for him. I should have gotten my grandfather involved. He shouldn't have had to live like he did. We all should be held accountable for what has happened to him."

  We were all silent for a couple of minutes. I didn't miss the fact that Wolf had gotten closer to McGann, close enough to touch her almost. He'd protect her.

  So the next thing we had to worry about was what to do since we were stuck here. “Well, what's the game plan?” I finally asked. “Fuck, there must be one, because you guys are good at shit like that."

  Wolf looked at McGann and then me. “I don't know. Honestly, I had hoped that things would be different here."

  "We are stuck in a friggin’ war zone, but it's still better than what we would be going back to,” I said roughly, although I already thought we weren't going back. I didn't think that going back was worth killing someone. And while Tamazusa had been able to walk into our place any damn time that she wanted, she had lost that trick with her kuni. Even when she got her place back, even if she kept that trick, I didn't know if I wanted to go back. Maybe I'd get bored here in a year or two, but unlike Wolf and McGann, there was no one for me to go home to in the real world.

  "What are you talking about?” Wolf demanded, sounding pissed off and worried at the same time.

  "Those assholes were willing to send McGann on this trip, ignoring the fact that I told them how nasty it could get for her,” I said. He nodded, looking relieved that I hadn't been more blunt about what I thought was nasty. “And I think a couple of them were giving her shit about not saving Fairinox's or Collins's asses. Plus, they were going to make her life miserable for a couple of other reasons, right?"

  McGann nodded, not willing to say anything. I wasn't surprised to see Wolf reach out and pat her hand after that, since she looked like she wanted to cry.

  "And Wolf, you were stuck at the nuthouse, dealing with people you worked with at one time,” I told him. “I don't think that you were liking it there. I don't think that the shrink there was doing shit for you, either. And I was doing desk duty at Fall River, which was a bitch of a commute. Plus, I know Murphy was going to try and nail my ass, and not in a good way. So while this place ain't where we're supposed to be, it doesn't suck."

  We were all silent for a couple of minutes. “And there's a couple of things I have to tell you about,” I said at last, hoping that the last shit had sunk in on them. “The first one is that Tamazusa is willing to have us stay at her place, when she gets it back. If you don't want to do that, I bet that any of the rest of them would be willing to have you. That's the good news."

  "And the bad news?” McGann asked.

  "It's one of those types of things that I should have told you earlier about,” I said.

  Wolf shook his head, and I swear that McGann rolled her eyes. “You have to stop doing that,” Wolf said.

  "Where's Helga the Horrible and Tholf?” I asked instead of giving them an answer. Yeah, keeping shit like this from my team leader was stupid, but letting outsiders know your own people were screwing you was bad too.

  McGann gave me a look that told me she knew why I was keeping secrets, before saying slowly, “Tholf is with a squad of Tamazusa-sama's men, Seki-san's squad. Helga is with Fuse-hime."

  "Fuse-hime's gonna keep her in line,” I said.

  I meant it, too. Helga had realized she didn't have any allies here or anyone who would put up with her shit. Tamazusa probably was willing to kick her ass into line, but she had her hands full right now. Hamaji was just too nice, and of all the other women I saw wandering about this place, no one seemed to be interested in dealing with Helga, besides the fact they mostly seemed to be maids and people like that. Fuse had taken her on, and Helga had been too stupid to realize she was going to lose to the woman even before she started anything. I wondered if Helga even knew who Fuse was, besides the woman who was going to make her life miserable until she got her shit together. Fuck, I was going to call Fuse “Mom” a couple of times just to make Helga's brain melt.

  "The reason that I didn't tell you this earlier is because I didn't want those two to find out about it,” I said. “Shit, you know that I don't keep secrets or play games for shits and giggles. And while you don't want to hear it, which was probably the reason that Tamazusa didn't tell us what trouble she was in."

  "Keno should have,” Wolf said.

  "Keno didn't want to tell us, because he couldn't trust us,” I said evenly. “He was trapped in what he thought was enemy territory, with someone he thinks of as family, and he didn't know if you were going to hoodoo him back to a place he hates once you knew Tamazusa wasn't going to be able to steal him back. Taking his ass home isn't something that's ever going to happen. The kid not only burned his bridges with that little stunt he pulled with the computers, he blew them up and pissed on the ashes. Taking him back, if we even ever get back, would be a stupider idea than kidnapping him the first place."

  Wolf had a thoughtful look on his face. Maybe he'd just realized what a stupid shit move taking Keno back with us would be, besides the fact that Tamazusa would just pop up and take him back again without breaking a sweat and maybe kill anyone who got in her way, when she got her kuni thingie back. The man wasn't dumb. Wolf just thought that getting Keno out of here was the best thing for him. Maybe now he'd realize it wasn't. Hell, getting us out of here wasn't a good thing either.

  "What did you want to tell us?” McGann asked patiently. She knew this shit, but didn't think she knew Wolf had to hear it a couple of times before he would believe it.

  "That we were getting screwed by the Trustees and we didn't even know it,” I said.

  Wolf got this stubborn look on his face, while McGann looked sick, but interested. I wondered what they had been threatening her with. And shit, maybe the pregnancy thing was something she had to worry about. While I didn't know how the birds and the bees worked with demons, I had figured out how it worked with psychics. You needed at least one of them as the parent, with either the other parent having a strong latent talent, or even better, both parents being psychics. I wondered if that was what the Trustees had been telling McGann: that they had decided it was time she started knitting baby booties for them. Fuck!

  "We weren't supposed to get back,” I said. “Not from what Logan told us."

  "Us?” Wolf asked.

  "Me and Tamazusa,” I explained. “And before you get pissed. There wasn't a place that I could tell either one of you this. That boat had shit for privacy, and this wasn't something that I wanted Helga or Tholf to know ab
out."

  "I understand that,” Wolf said. “But why wait until now to tell us?"

  "'Cause this shit didn't seem true until the hoodoo stopped working,” I said. “And this shit still doesn't seem real to me, either."

  "What is it?” McGann asked.

  "Logan wasn't Logan's real name,” I blurted out. “He wasn't an expert on Mayan anything. That whoever was casting that shitty spell aimed it in the wrong direction on purpose."

  "Why?” Wolf demanded.

  "Because we all pissed off the Powers that Be,” I said harshly. “Fuck, it wasn't like he really had a chance to tell us a lot."

  "Why do you believe him?” McGann continued.

  "Because the guy was dying,” I said. “And I don't think that anyone would lie though their teeth to the guy who was trying to save his ass, even if I couldn't do shit. Fuck, he knew that there wasn't a chance. The bastard had opened up his leg, and even sticking my fucking hand in the wound didn't stop the bleeding."

  "But why tell you at all?” Wolf asked.

  "Because of you,” I said bluntly. “He thought that you were a good man. Fuck, he was right, even if we do shitty things in our line of work. But there's another faction of Trustees that want to turn this place into their own little fiefdom. I believe him, after some of the fucking stories I heard about a couple of Global International Ops."

  "My grandfather...” Wolf started, apparently ignoring the last part, even as McGann nodded her head in agreement with me. She had probably heard the same rumors I had.

  "Is probably in the dark, like we were,” I told him. “I think that Mrs. Adams don't know shit, either, as much as I hate to say it. If she did, I'm pissed that I fell for the nice little old lady act."

  "So the Southerners that the others mention?” Wolf said.

  "The Egyptians,” I answered. “That was what Logan said they were. And some of our Trustees are using them to take over Nippon. Iida wasn't part of that mess. He's just adding to the shitstorm on his own. But the Trust, or part of it, is bankrolling the Egyptians so that they can get a summer place on Mt. Fuji or whatever those fuckers are after. And we both know that after that happens, the Egyptians are going to be screwed by the Trustees. Collins had a lot of friends, according to Logan."

  "What was his real name?” McGann asked. “Did he manage to tell you?"

  "I forget,” I said sheepishly. “Tamazusa would know. She fucking promised him that she'd pray for him or something like that."

  "And why should we believe her?” Wolf demanded.

  "Since she bothered to save Keno,” McGann said tiredly. “I know that you don't like the woman, but she isn't the monster that you want her to be."

  "She's not a woman,” Wolf snarled.

  "She is,” I insisted. Shit, from what she told me, she could have been an asshole for the rest of her life or whatever it was she had here. “And she could have killed us all that first night that we were at her place. She didn't. And you know what? You don't have to like the lady, but you should respect her."

  "She get to you, Mason?” Wolf demanded.

  "This place got to me,” I said, raising my voice. “Shit, most of the people that we know here are mean fuckers. But you know what? None of these people would stab us in the back. I can't say the same about the assholes that are running my life. Fuck, anything here would be better than dealing with the shit that they handed out to us. They didn't just split us up; they told me that we could never see each other again. Did they pull that same shit on you, or did you think that I was just being an asshole?"

  McGann frowned. “Why?"

  "Shit, I don't know,” I muttered. “I had thought that was something that Murphy was pulling, but I didn't think so after a week or two. And we all know our reports were scrubbed so that those fuckers didn't know anything about us being avatars or whatever me and Wolf are supposed to be. I made sure the tapes in the infirmary got ‘ruined’ too."

  "You're the one that did that!” McGann exclaimed. “I thought that it was Keno when I went to do that."

  I grinned at her. I hadn't thought she'd had it in her, but I would have bet she had done it more to cover Wolf's ass than mine.

  "I wondered why no one called us on that,” Wolf muttered. “Or why I wasn't asked about that in my sessions."

  McGann frowned. “Did you have counseling, Mason?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “I skipped out on my sessions. I think that was the reason they gave when they pulled me from the field rotation. I think that they were full of shit."

  "I know that,” she murmured, looking scared and pissed at the same time. “I should have thought that would happen."

  "That what would happen?” I asked.

  "Mason....” She stopped, looking guilty and frustrated.

  I nodded, suddenly getting the picture. We really couldn't have hidden that information. Not with the company having telepaths in its ranks. They didn't have a lot of them, but you didn't need a lot. You just needed them to be good. So even if we didn't tell them about the fact that we're avatars, they'd find out anyways. While ‘paths weren't supposed to rummage around people's heads without permission, if they were ordered to, they would. And since we had managed to piss off a bunch of Trustees, one of them would have ordered a ‘path to poke around in our heads. The best time for that was in a shrink session, when we were supposed to be spilling our guts to these people anyways. After ordering a full out war, a little violation of our privacy was nothing to those fuckers. We just had to figure out who they were. And from the look in Wolf's eyes, I hoped like fucking hell that one of them wasn't his grandfather. That would kill him.

  * * * *

  Samojirou

  Running into Mason wasn't something I'd wanted. I had to admit I was a little upset that he seemed so... friendly wasn't the correct word to use, but informal might have done better as a description. At least he was properly wary around me. After a short conversation, we went our separate ways.

  I found Tamazusa at the edge of Hamaji's strolling garden, staring at the bell flowers and the plantation lilies that clustered around the edges of the walkway. To most people, it would appear that she was admiring the blooms. I knew she was doing that as well as plotting her next move in the Game. While she had suffered a shocking setback, I knew she wasn't finished playing.

  "I just had a most interesting conversation with Mason-san,” she said absentmindedly.

  "I have also talked to the man,” I told her. “He—"

  "Mason Kairns is a decent man, for all that he would deny it,” she said.

  I frowned, wondering where that had come from. She laughed lightly when she saw the look on my face. “Aboshi, the man was kind enough to be my protector, mainly because he thought that he needed to be when Keno-chan and I had washed ashore and were forced to take shelter. I assure you that the Northern barbarians are worse than we ever imagined.” She shuddered. “The smell was dreadful, there was no tea, and a hot bath was something they had never heard of. It was disgusting. They are almost dirtier than Eta."

  "So Keno-chan has told me,” I said.

  She nodded and started walking farther into the garden. I followed her, curious about what she wanted to tell me. We had gone almost to the center when she spoke. “Mason-san knows the truth of what kind of man Keno-chan's ancestor was."

  "Was it safe to tell him such things?” I asked.

  "Safer than to tell Wolf-san,” she assured me. “Mason-san knows the legend of the Hakkenshi now."

  "So he has told me, in his own unique way,” I said with a smile. “And I do apologize for neglecting you."

  "You haven't,” she assured me briskly. “Mason-san just has gotten into the habit of looking after me."

  "Keno-chan mentioned that you had to sleep with him,” I said delicately. I didn't think the man had taken advantage of her, since he would have been dead then, by either her hand or Keno's.

  "He was even a gentleman,” she said softly with a strange look in her eyes. “He
made something that could have been very awkward less annoying."

  "You are fond of him,” I said after a moment of thinking about what she had and hadn't said.

  She looked up at me in surprise. “I think that I am.” She smiled sadly. “But I doubt that I would ever be as fond of anyone as you are of your blossom."

  "A pet, then?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “A friend, as odd as that seems. But for all his lack of manners, he does have an odd charm. He is willing to understand, which is a lot more than many others would try to do."

  "He does seem to be the most open-minded of the outsiders,” I agreed.

  She smiled at me. “And now I must beg your pardon for what you went through when you thought that Keno-chan and I were dead."

  "I grieved for both of you,” I told her softly. “My rage and my grief were for both of you."

  "I know,” she said softly, reaching out to brush my cheek. “And we both grieved for the pain that we knew that you were going through."

  "I don't remember much of it,” I told her truthfully. I didn't. There was nothing besides anger and the hurt.

  "And I am so glad that no one here has bothered with an ‘I told you so',” she said.

  "There is no reason to do so,” I said. “While I also didn't trust Iida or his offer, it was for very selfish reasons. I simply thought that the man wasn't good enough for you."

  She looked at me and laughed. It wasn't the practiced trill she had used for centuries to show that she was amused; this was something honest, something very human. I liked it.

  "You do sound like my older brother more than my councilor,” she said, smiling broadly. “Mawatari-san was right about that. And I'm so happy, and so sad that he wasn't right about anything else. You could have claimed my kuni, and all this could have been avoided."

  "I doubt that,” I said slowly, thinking about it. “A kuni is the reflection of one who it is joined with. My land would have been a terrible and empty place because neither you or Keno-chan would have been there with me. And that might have been worse than what is happening now."