Falling Into Us

by Selene Chardou

  “Tattoos can be changed but what we feel for each other is real and I don’t want to rush that. I want to enjoy all my moments with you and you’re not some piece of ass or some bitch, you’re my woman and don’t let anyone tell you different, not even my bitch ex-wife.”

  His change of tone shocked me out of the warm Macallan 30 cocoon of warmth and pure bliss. “What’s going on?”

  “Turns out Kris thinks it’s a good idea for Damira to come on tour with us. The whole tour because she will be doing a documentary about it and she finally completed her Masters in Journalism. Why do I feel like this is some kind of ploy to annoy the hell out of me?”

  He paused before he continued, “Oh yeah, Jaden—high off his ass on Ritalin and Oxy—insults Talia. I mean, he just starts in on her and doesn’t fucking stop because he doesn’t think any ‘bitches’ should be in hard rockin’ bands like Scarlet Fever and Winter’s Regret. The drug issue…I have always tried to stay out of it because as long as he does his job with competence, I can’t really say anything. I’m not their father or guardian. We are a group and they are grown adult men who can live their lives however they choose but today went too far.”

  My heart thundered in my chest and why did I feel like part of me mourned with Kaz? We were so connected, all I had to do was kiss his neck and as I breathed in his delicious scent, I immediately calmed down.

  “I can’t tell you what to do and according to Laurel, Faith is aware of what Jaden is doing but she’s turning a blind eye. She said she would leave him but they both know that isn’t going to happen so…I truly don’t know what to think. She won’t talk to me and…this tour needs to just start already.”

  “Agreed,” he replied before Kaz’s hands wandered around my neck in a possessive manner. “So, what have you been up to while I was having a nightmare meeting with a couple of drugged-up musicians?”

  “I swam and sunbathed.” My hands covered his own without a thought. “I need a job or something. I just feel like a waste of space. All the sudden, I regret not going to college because I wonder what will become of me. What will be the legacy I leave behind when I’m dead and gone? I can’t just sit on my ass all day and wait for you to come home and fuck me. I feel so useless at the moment because everyone has real skills except me.”

  Kaz laughed out loud. “Babe, you’re young. That ex-wife of mine is doing a documentary…are you any good with cameras?”

  “You mean taking photos? I suppose so since I went to all the best schools and took a photography class. I can do the old-school photos where you have to soak them in solution but I prefer a digital camera to be honest. All I need is my laptop and you’re good to go.”

  “Then stop being so hard on yourself because you do have a skill. We usually hire a professional photographer because we like to document our concerts but you take the photos. Nothing that could get us into trouble but just candid shots. We usually then bundle them and make a book out of them. They’re a swag gift for hard-core fans…we don’t do it for the money. And of course it’s great to see how much we have changed over the years.”

  His mouth had moved closer to mine the longer he’d spoken and when he was within reach, he kissed my lips and I immediately responded with an open mouth and accepted his tongue in my mouth. I tasted Macallan 30 but it was pleasant and sensual.

  Kaz ended the kiss reluctantly. “What’s wrong with you sitting on your ass all day waiting for me to fuck you if I may ask?”

  “Don’t be crude. I’d feel like a kept woman and I want to contribute…is that so bad? I suppose that is why I am so jealous of your ex-wife. She’s got all this stuff going on and she must think I am some stupid, rich bimbo.”

  “Those were her words more or less but why would you care what she thinks about you?”

  I smiled slightly. “Because she still holds your heart and she’s the mother of your child. That means she can directly influence how he would feel about me…it’s a little scary because understand all this is new to me. I have never been in a relationship before and I don’t know what’s kosher and what isn’t? When do we move past the fucking stage into something more? What if you get tired of me and just want to offload me? That would devastate me because I am feeling so full of angst and indecision. I’m not good when I don’t know what to expect.”

  Kaz’s hands slipped lower and caressed my collar bone before he slid my tube top down to reveal my breasts. “First of all, Damira doesn’t hold my heart anymore…I think I used her as a crutch. I didn’t want to hate her so I told myself I was still in love with her to lessen the pain. She’s Xander’s mother and I don’t want him growing up as fucked up as I did. It broke my heart and I somehow felt it was my fault my father despised my mother with a passion.”

  “What happened?” I wondered out loud.

  “No more fucking small talk. I just want to fuck you right here, Syd.”

  Kaz kissed my breasts before he slipped my left nipple in his mouth and sucked hard before his teeth teased the tip and I moaned out loud.

  I would have to give him credit because he sure did know how to change the subject. I leaned back as his fingers worked over my nipples and pinched them until they were hard pebbles on my chest.

  He began to unbuckle my jean shorts but I stopped him and started on his own jeans and undid the button.

  As usual, he was commando and his cock appeared as soon as I undid his zipper. Red, swollen, it was so beautiful and I marveled something that large managed to satisfy me night after night.

  I caressed his cock by rubbing my left hand up and down the sensitive skin as his breath became labored and heavy.

  “Do you like that?” I whispered in his ear seductively.

  “If you stop, you’ll be sorry,” he responded before his breath came hard and fast again.

  He stood suddenly and removed his jeans before he grabbed me by the waist of my shorts and stripped them and my tube top from my body. He turned me around and I leaned against the sofa as he kissed my tattoo and slowly slipped off my lace thong.

  Kaz’s fingertips felt like heaven against my skin. “Every time I see this, I know you’re mine and that gives me so much pleasure. You belong to me, Syd. No one touches this skin, fucks this pussy or kisses any part of you but me, is that understood?”

  “Yes,” I panted and tried not to pass out from his delicious touch.

  His fingers were pure magic as they teased me, up and down the outside of my sex before they traced my perineum and gently explored the tight puckered hole of my anus. My whole body was on fire and my skin tingled; I felt alive and completely sexual as a being. Nothing mattered but his touch and his warm breath against my lower back as his tongue traced my tattoo.

  Kaz slowly and deliberately slid two fingers inside my dripping wet sex and caressed my G-spot before he pulled them out and spread the cheeks of my ass with his hands. His tongue focused on perineum and I hoped to God he wouldn’t go there with his tongue. I know we’d talked about it but I wanted a lot more sex from the place a cock was supposed to venture in my body before I would be ready for any backdoor action.

  Somehow, I must have communicated this to him with my body language because his tongue lowered further to my aching wet sex and teased me by flicking it over the entrance. When his mouth lowered itself over my clit and sucked the puckered nub, I felt like every part of me turned into an inferno of heat and desire.

  I bucked against his mouth and pressed myself against his mouth with wild actions I could have never done before he entered my life and sculpted me, molded me as a sexual being.

  Kaz pulled away abruptly and I turned around before I got down on my knees. I knew what he wanted and it was something I got off so much, my sex would get wet just thinking about what I was doing to him.

  His cock was truly beautiful; thick and long, veined yet the skin was smooth as silk. He trimmed his pubic hair and this whole area of his body was so beautiful. On his pelvic bone, he had a heart, jagged and broken in two.
One half on each side.

  I licked his tattoos and he drew in a breath of anticipation. My left hand caressed his balls before I removed it and placed them against his hard, strong thighs. He’d been a swimmer in his teen years and it showed. His body was pure muscle and sculpted male physique. There wasn’t a flabby part about him.

  Everything about him was perfect, from the golden tanned skin to the fine, dewy soft hair that was beginning to grow back. Like a woman, he had to wax his body and although he had pubic hair now, he’d informed me he would be completely hairless before the show at the Staples Center. The leather pants were hell on his body when he had hair and he experienced a lot of chafing so it was just easier to get rid of the hair than deal with the discomfort.

  I knelt sat down with my calves supporting my ass and allowed my tongue to caress his balls. He smelled delicious, even the smell of his pre-cum wasn’t offensive.

  “Goddamn, Syd, slow it down. You’re going to make me come,” he whispered.

  “No,” I murmured and opened my mouth wider before I tasted his ball sack and suckled each side.

  Kaz was no longer breathing hard, his breath was haggard and he caressed his own cock in a pumping motion with his right hand as I licked along his perineum and teased his balls again with my tongue.

  “Stay right there, I want your tits covered in my creamy jizz.”

  I licked his skin and my open mouth caught the first taste of his semen as he began to come but he aimed it at my breasts and soon I was soaked not only between my legs but my breasts were covered with the effects of his spent desire.

  “Don’t move because I have made a mess of you and I want to lick you clean.”

  If I could have gotten away with it, my right hand would have moved between my legs and a few choice fingers would have caressed my hardened clit to a much needed orgasm. That was the hottest fucking thing a man had ever said to me and I didn’t know whether to revel in our debauchery or feel a bit ashamed by my unabashed lust for this man.

  Kaz knelt down on his knees before he pushed me onto the Persian rug. He rearranged my legs and spread them wide open before he crawled between them and began to lick my breasts clean of his own spent fluids. Between licks of completely ordinary skin, he would tease my nipples into a frenzy and I breathed hard and deep.

  Once he was finished, he leaned closer to me and kissed me hard and deep. My lips would be swollen and bruised from the sheer brutality of his kiss but I couldn’t help myself because I responded just as savagely. I devoured his mouth and my lips sucked on his semen drenched tongue before I let go and allowed him to claim my whole mouth as his own.

  Kaz’s lips led further down my body and spread my legs as far as he could. I’d taken ballet as an adolescent and I was one of those rare individuals who could open my legs until my thighs and knees touched the floor. Unfortunately, he didn’t want me that exposed as his mouth devoured my aching sex swollen with want and need. As he tried to tongue fuck me, though the passage was slippery, it was also resistant because I wanted him to take me with his cock.

  He was young enough that his dick was hard again and although not as hard as it could become, he sported an impressive erection.

  “Fuck me,” I whimpered out loud.

  “What did you say?”

  “I said fuck me, baby…please?”

  Kaz crawled up my body and I grabbed his cock as soon as I could and guided him inside of me slowly. Having him inside of me was a slice of heaven I could never get enough of. It was better than all the wine and chocolate in the world and I would happily forgo food for the rest of my life if it meant I would never be without him in my life. I would allow him to do what ever he wanted to do to me, including anal sex eventually, because I didn’t want him to think any part of my body was off limits to him.

  He owned me hook, line, and sinker.

  His cock moved inside me and every time the tip of his manhood hit my cervix, I spread my legs just a little further. He filled me in a way I knew no man ever would and when I spoke of ownership, there wasn’t an S&M quality to it. I had willingly given myself to him but the ownership went both ways. I also owned his body too.

  Yes, he had a broken heart that was divided on his pelvic bone and where his ex-wife’s name had once been, he’d turned into some sort of Celtic symbol. The other half of the heart, on his left hip, “Syd” was tattooed in fancy calligraphy. Once he knew I was really the one, he promised to have my name completed.

  I wrapped my long legs around his waist and held him in place as he continued his delicious physical assault on my body. Our eyes connected and I felt frozen in time as he continued to move inside me. I knew he felt the same way because no matter how hard he tried to end eye contact with me, we couldn’t. There was a force keeping us tied to one another and he pressed his chest against my breasts and I felt my nipples tingle against all that male hardness.

  Our lovemaking, once so dirty and torrid and fun had become something else and neither of us quite knew what to make of it exactly. Were we making love or had we just bypassed the “fucking” stage? Even when he pounded his cock inside me, it wasn’t the same as when we began our sexual journey.

  He no longer had to have me doggy style to come, and that made me feel better. I had the feeling he didn’t want to connect with me and if he didn’t have to look at my face then he could just pretend I was another faceless groupie, skank or fan-girl. His wife and I looked too different; I knew he wasn’t imagining me as her so that was the only logical answer that made sense to me.

  However, he’d changed during all the pre-concert gigs. Somehow, I became someone he wanted to care about and I hope he didn’t fear his feelings for me because God knew I felt the same way about him. If I could explain how I’d fallen over the precipice and passed the point of no return, I would but it was just as much of a mystery to me as it was to him. How did we work ourselves under each other’s skin? It certainly hadn’t been the taking of my virginity or his band performing at my birthday party. All of that had been inconsequential to how we felt about each other now.

  Kaz snapped me out of my daydreaming as he rolled us over and I quickly unhooked my legs from his waist. He was now on the floor and I sat astride him, his cock still buried inside me. I began to gyrate my hips and met his rhythm as he sat up and helped me out. His tongue worked its way from my neck to my lips and we kissed each other in a brutal yet passionate way and I moaned into his mouth as an orgasm seized my body with such intensity, my whole body tingled with sensation and unknown pleasures I’d never felt before.

  My kegel muscles tightened around his dick buried inside my body and he tensed up and shuddered beneath me before he rode out his own orgasm. Afterwards, he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close to him. I slid my arms around his neck and buried my face in the crux of his neck.

  Neither one of us said anything for a long time.

  “You’ve broken through,” he murmured to me.

  I didn’t know exactly what that meant but I responded, “And you move me like no one else. Please don’t ever just throw me to the side and leave me. If you can’t be with me then please have the strength to tell me to my face. I beg of you.”

  “I would never do that. I always wonder when this will become too much for you and you will leave me. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself involved in and I haven’t been exactly one hundred percent honest with you either. This tour is going to be hell and I don’t want it to break us apart. If I had an inkling you wouldn’t be able to handle it, I would demand you stay here and just visit me every so often.”

  His blue-green eyes stunned me with their clarity and sincerity but I stood my ground.

  “I’m not going anywhere. You’re going to have to find out the hard way it’s not so easy for you to be rid of me,” I whispered.

  Kaz laughed out loud. “Yes, I’m familiar with Ms. Harvey’s work.”

  I laughed out loud with him then before we kissed yet again and fina
lly separated from each other. A feeling of emptiness filled me but as long as he was beside me, I knew I would be okay. He didn’t complete me, he made me a better person and together, we were stronger than apart.

  Chapter Five

  Concert One: The Staples Center

  Kaz wished he could hide his nervousness but performing in front of thousands was much different than performing in front of several hundred people.

  At that moment, he sat comfortably in a dressing room made for a king but being surrounded by his band members brought him swiftly back down to earth.

  Although he naturally expected Syd to act more like a groupie underneath the present circumstances, she was cool and collective. She spoke to her friend, Laurel, and they looked comfortable in one another’s presence. For once, he wished she’d been practical and wore jeans instead of the gorgeous navy blue Hervé Léger sequined one shoulder bandage dress that molded to every one of her curves and he was more than happy she was starting to develop some.