Love Me Like You Mean It

by Jaime Russell

  “We should head back because I still have a ton of work to do.” Reagan stands up and we head back to the apartments. “I’m sorry about dinner. I’ll make it up to you by cooking you a real dinner.”

  “I liked this dinner. I got to see my neighborhood and spend time with you; I get the best end of this night.” Reagan blushes at my words. “When do you want to start the self-defense classes?”

  “How about this weekend? I’m not one-hundred-percent sure of what my schedule is going to be like with us losing one of our caseworkers today.”

  Soon, we’re in front of her door. I don’t want this night to end, and I think she feels the same way because she opens her mouth to say something but my sister’s ringtone comes blaring from my pocket before she can. “You better take that before you get into any more trouble. Thank you for dinner. I’ll see you in the morning for coffee.” With those final words, she waves to me and shuts her door. I hear the click of the lock and my head meets the door.

  “Abby, I thought you were just going to grill me at lunch?” I answer my phone as I go back down to my truck. I have to go over to her place anyway so I might as well get it over with so I can get some peace.

  “I couldn’t wait. Cash had to go deal with a hotel emergency so I’m bored.”

  “I’m on my way over to your apartment anyway. Sarah didn’t mark the boxes very well; I think she has most of my stuff.”

  “She’s here, so I’ll have her start opening boxes to see what’s yours. See you soon.” She hangs up. Then her ringtone comes through again. “Bring me some chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream and strawberry sauce.” I can’t help but laugh at her.

  It’s forty-five minutes before I actually got to her apartment because she kept calling or texting me with new foods she just had to have and would tell me the baby needs it not her.

  “Abby, I looked like an idiot,” I yell as I walk into her apartment with three bags full of groceries.

  “Well, hello to you too,” Sarah greets me as she comes into the kitchen.

  “No, it’s okay, I got it.” I slam the bags on the counter.

  “What crawled up your butt and died?” Sarah starts putting the food away.

  “I had my arms full, and you couldn’t take a bag? I’ve going up steps all damn day because I have your shit in my place.”

  “Oh, is the big, strong Max not getting any pussy? Should I give you money to get a working girl?” Sarah taunts me with her baby talk voice that she knows pisses me off more than anything.

  “I’ll leave your boxes on the curb, and I’m going to go through the boxes you have here so I can get my stuff. I’m tired of your shit already.” Sarah is Abby’s best friend and family to me even though we’re not related. Sarah has been there for me, especially since Abby moved on. It really hurt when she married Cash then moved away. I’m happy because he makes her happy, treats her like the princess she deserves, but for over twenty years, that was my job. Sarah listened to my drunken talks and put up with the random girls coming and going.

  “Max, what’s your problem?” Abby is now standing in the doorway watching this scene.

  “You two!” I yell, moving my hands to gesture to them. “Abby, you wouldn’t stop calling me when I was out with my neighbor and her nephew. Sarah couldn’t even help me carry the bags in or even shut the door. The last I checked, I’m forty-fucking-one years old. You’re not my keeper; I don’t have to put up with this shit. If me moving here is going to give you free rein on my life, I’m gone, Abby. Sarah, you could’ve helped me, but no then you use that damn baby talk voice to me, and you know I hate it.” I’m so mad I can’t unclench my jaw.

  “Max, why didn’t you tell me to stop calling?” Abby asks so innocently—almost childlike.

  “Abby, you know what you were doing to Max by doing that. He told you that he would call you back.” I feel Cash slap me on the back of the shoulder as he walks into the kitchen to grab a water. “Max, I noticed that your truck is full of boxes, need help unloading them?”

  “Sure. Can you two go through boxes to see if my stuff is here?” They nod and scurry out of the room. “Sorry, Cash. I just couldn’t deal with it tonight.”

  “Hey, I understand.” Cash and I work in silence because he knows that I don’t want to talk. “How about going to Nic’s this weekend?”

  “Sounds good. Sarah, I need to get together with you about some office spaces. There’s a coffee shop a few blocks from my apartment, let’s meet there.” Kissing Abby on the top of the head, I whisper, “I love you, Abby.” She knocks the wind out of me when she hugs me. When she lets go of me, I bend over and put my hand on her stomach. “I can’t wait to meet you, little one, then Mommy might not be so crazy.” Cash starts laughing but covers it up with a cough. I run out the door, laughing and feeling better.

  My phone chimes to let me know that I had a text message. As I read the message, my heart sinks.

  Pandabear: He’s asking for you, not much time left.

  Call me.

  Reagan

  It took me about two hours to clean up our failed dinner so I could watch a movie with Jonathan before he went to bed. Waking up on the couch, I notice the clock says two AM, and I groan before I roll off the couch to get a glass of water. There’s faint music coming from Max’s apartment. I open my door slightly and see that his door was slightly open with his kitchen light open. Grabbing my keys, I lock my door behind me and knock on Max’s door before walking in.

  “Max?” I whisper but get nothing. “Max,” I say a little louder. The only sound is the shuffling of boxes. “Max!” I yell.

  “Reagan?” Max comes out of the second bedroom with just his black boxer briefs. I look him up and down and lick my lips involuntarily. To feel his body on top of mine … “Are you okay? Something wrong?” I look up at his face to see concern.

  “No, nothing is wrong. I woke up, heard music, then I saw your door was open.”

  “You didn’t think you should bring a bat in case I was being robbed?” he teases me.

  “The minute that you started to talk, they would leave.” Max was cleaning off a spot for me on the couch. “I can leave so you can get back to unpacking.” I point to the door but he leads me to the couch to sit down. We sit there silently as I play with a red thread from my boxer shorts. It just hit me that I’m in my pajamas.

  “Don’t go. Do you want to watch a movie? I’m sure that I can find some DVDs in here somewhere.” Max stands, going through boxes.

  “We don’t have to watch a movie; we can talk, or I can help you unpack.” I should go back to my place and sleep, but I just can’t do it. Max grabs my hand and takes me to the second bedroom which is being made into an office. I know that I don’t know him well, but I can tell something is off by his demeanor.

  “Max, are you okay?” I reach out to touch his hand. He leans his head back on the couch, shaking his head. “Do you want to talk about it?” Max tugs my hand to pull me close to him. I slide over to him and he surprises me by holding me so I can listen to his heartbeat. We stay like this for maybe an hour when I notice that his breathing has changed—he fell asleep.

  There’s a blanket on the floor so I pick it up to cover him up. Max has this sadness about him even in his sleep that I wish I could find out what it is. I lean over him and kiss his forehead.

  “Sleep, don’t let the demons in for the night.” I look back at him before walking out of his apartment, closing the door, and going back to mine. As I’m locking the door behind me, there is a light knock. The peephole shows Max on the other side. “Max, go back to sleep,” I say as I open the door. He pushes past me and starts pacing my living room. He stops, opens his mouth to say something, but goes back to pacing.

  “This was a mistake; I shouldn’t have come over. Get some sleep, Reagan.” I follow him to the door and the sadness in his eyes compels my instinct to take over and I hug him. He hugs me tighter, and just as I’m about to say goodnight, his lips find mine.

&nbs
p; The kiss is slow and deep. Standing on my tiptoes to feel closer to him, he lifts me up like I weigh nothing. My legs go around his waist as he uses my body to close the door.

  “Max,” I moan as he works his way down my neck.

  “Reagan, we should stop this now before we go any further. I can’t promise you a future.” He sounds so sad. “I need you to make me forget, even if it’s for a couple of hours.” He kisses me and removes my white tank top to reveal hard nipples. Max’s tongue and mouth found my nipple as he bites down on it and I bite down on his shoulder to keep me from screaming out in pain.

  Max, the gentle kisser, was replaced with a man who just needed someone to be in his bed. He carries me to my room and drops me on the bed. He doesn’t speak as he removes my clothes then his boxers. I prop myself up on my elbows to look at him and all his glory. This man is something that I only have dreamed of. Max’s body shows that he works out—takes pride in his body. He has abs that are hard and well-defined with a little bit of hair. I can’t help but lick my lips when I get to his nice big cock.

  Opening my nightstand, I reveal a box of condoms. Max’s reaction—furrowed eyebrows and pouty lips—almost makes me laugh as he counts them to see if any of them are missing.

  “I want you to trust me.” Max’s voice is husky as he works the condom onto his hard cock.

  “Max,” I say his name with concern because that statement has me curious as to what he means but it’s short-lived as I feel the bed dipped. Our eyes connect as he towers over me—his eyes searching mine. I nod slightly to give him permission to use my body tonight for whatever has him feeling this way. He slowly, inch my inch, pushes into me, then waits for my body to relax to his size before he starts his assault on my pussy. He pulls completely out of me then slams right into me, and I arch my back as my fingernails find his back.

  I don’t know what happened, but Max turned from a gentle lover to an animal in bed. He’s pounding into me, and it feels different but amazing. I start matching my hips with his motion. Max grabs onto my breasts—rough. The rougher he gets, the wetter I become. My body is reacting to him, and we are in sync. I can feel myself getting ready to come, but Max pulls out of me.

  “Face the wall,” is all he orders. I do as I’m told. He pulls me to him, and I feel his heart beating just as fast as mine. I assume he wants me on all fours, so I get into that position. Max pushes me further down on the bed so my ass is in the air as he finds my pussy to slide into it.

  He surprises me by wrapping his arm around my waist to put me into a sitting position on my knees. Max gives me kisses on my shoulder, back, and neck. I slip my hand down to my clit to rub as he continues going in and out of me. I feel my pussy starting to grip him, so I know that I am close. I arch my back as I come hard and kiss his neck as I’m panting. My body starts to relax, still in arms.

  “Reagan,” he grunts as we collapse onto my bed. After a few minutes of lying here and trying to catch our breath, Max starts to take the condom off, and I point to the waste basket near my closet door.

  Max just stares at me while I use an old t-shirt to clean myself up.

  “Would you like to stay the night?” I ask.

  “What about Jonathan?”

  “I’ll set my alarm for thirty minutes before I normally get up so I can sneak you out.” I yawned. “I know that I don’t want you to leave me.”

  He holds me so close that he’s snoring in my ear. I don’t know what time we fell asleep, but my alarm starts playing some annoying song that I can’t comprehend. I look over to see Max is still sleeping in my bed. I smile as I watch him sleep.

  I hear the shower turn on, and I start freaking out. I start shaking Max to wake him. “Max. Max.” With each time I say his name, my voice gets a little louder. He mumbles something about five more minutes. I hear Jonathan start singing in the shower so I yell, “Max! Get up. Jonathan is awake. I must’ve hit the snooze button.” I remember a time when I wouldn’t get up for school, and Kennedy started opening my eye lids and lying on top of me to annoy me. I figure it can’t hurt to try that with Max.

  I climb on top of him, the sheet the only thing between us. “Max, you awake?” I open the left eye then the right eye. Every time I do, my pussy rubs up and down his shaft. He moans, and I can’t help but giggle when he gets up and flips me onto my back.

  “Has anyone ever told you that you’re annoying yet sexy first thing in the morning?” Max kisses my neck and I moan in response.

  “I think you’re the first one.” Max runs his fingers down my sides, and a laugh escapes my throat. “That tickles.” He starts tickling me and doesn’t stop until I’m panting so hard that he kissed me. “Mmm,” is all I can say as he tries to get another condom on, but there is a knock on the door.

  “Aunt Reagan, are you awake?” We both freeze, and my hand moves to cover Max’s mouth because he looking very much like he was going to answer.

  “Yes. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  “Okay.”

  “Shit, how am I going to explain you coming out of my room?” I try to push Max off of me, but he isn’t having it.

  “Reagan, we’re adults.” Max sounds annoyed.

  “I never had a male over while he was here besides my ex-husband.”

  “You were married?” Max tilts his head.

  “Yes. Don and I were married for six months right when I got custody of Jonathan when he was eight years old.” Max seems relieved with this information.

  “So, you want me to hang out here until he goes to school?” Max is off the bed looking for his boxers.

  “I don’t just have guys come into my nephew’s life if they aren’t going to stay. You said—”

  “I know what I said,” Max snaps at me as he’s getting ready to head out my bedroom door.

  “Max, listen to me.” I grab his hand to sit down on my bed before I straddle him. “I don’t want you to leave our lives if we try something and it doesn’t work out.”

  Max

  Reagan isn’t fighting fair having her tight pussy on my cock. I can feel it getting hard just having her in this position. I need her again, but she is too worried about Jonathan.

  “Okay. I’ll stay in here until he leaves, but we’ll discuss this later on today.” I kiss her nose as she grabs her night clothes to go out and see Jonathan. She shuts the door, and I hear her greet Jonathan.

  “Hey, Jonathan. Are you ready for school?”

  “Yeah, just waiting for Max to get here. He told me that he would come over to play a little bit before school.” Shit, I forgot that I told him that.

  “Oh, I’m sure he is still sleeping.” Reagan tries to sound convincing but she sucks at it. The next thing I know, the door is opening and there stands Jonathan.

  “Are you coming out, or did she make you hide from me?” Reagan is now standing behind him as she shrugs.

  “How did you know I was here?” I ask as I get up and head to the kitchen. I feel weird being in their kitchen with just my boxers on.

  “Aunt Reagan’s alarm kept going off, and I’d enough, so I went to wake her up. I saw you two sleeping, so I backed out and started to get ready for school.”

  “You okay with her having a male over all night?”

  “It can’t be just anyone, but we trust you. You two like each other, so why not.” He grabs a banana and heads back to his room.

  “Don’t say it,” Reagan says, her back to me as she starts brewing her coffee. When she turns to look at me, something catches her eye. She bends down to pick up the crumbled piece of paper. She unwraps it and gasps. “Jonathan, is this yours?” Reagan yells.

  “What is it?” Johnathan comes out of his room, annoyed, but grabs the paper from her hands. “Hire a P.I. to find R. Kramer,” he reads. “Why would I need this?”

  “Oh, that was mine. It must’ve fallen out of my pants pocket yesterday.” I fill my coffee mug, not paying attention to the stares I’m getting. “What’s the big deal?”

  She
rips the paper from Johnathan’s hands and shakes it at me. “Why are you hiring a private investigator to find me?”

  “Find you? Are you the owner of Books a Latte?” Jonathan stands straight up and looks to Reagan for some kind of direction.

  “Why are you talking about that place?” Jonathan is suddenly in tears. Without another word, he runs to his room, and before he slams the door, he yells back that he isn’t going to school.

  “Did I miss something?” .I look at Jonathan’s shut door.

  “I think you need to leave and forget you met us,” Reagan fumes. “Like I told that woman that called me last night, it’s not for sale.” She pushes me out of her apartment then slams the door in my face. I stand there for a minute, dumbfounded, before I go to my apartment to figure out what the hell is going on with them.

  After my shower, I head out to meet with Sarah to talk about the office spaces, but I don’t want to go. My phone starts buzzing in my pocket; I answer it without looking to see who it is. “Max Stephens.”

  “Max, avoiding me?” The voice on the phone stops me dead in my tracks.

  “Amanda, I meant to call you last night,” I lie.

  “Don’t lie to me. I’m pretty sure that you got drunk, banged a couple of hotties. Am I correct?”

  “Actually, no. I threw myself into unpacking my apartment. So—”

  “Dad is asking for you. Hospice was called into the house. The doctors don’t want him to suffer anymore.”

  “I don’t know if I can.”

  “Max, you better be here before the weekend is over or so help me God that I’ll jump on a plane to hunt you down.” The line goes dead as I climb into my truck. Amanda, or as I call her, PandaBear, is the daughter of the officer who saved me when my bio-mom was killed. Thomas made sure that I went to school, stayed out of trouble, and even took me in a few different times when the foster home or group home wouldn’t work out until he placed me with the Stephens who became my family.