The Ex's Confession

by L. C. Davenport

Elliot opened his eyes and looked steadily at her. “You still sit like that,” he said, sounding faintly surprised. “I think you could ask Locke anything. He seems to really like you.” His words were so soft that she almost missed them.

  Rebecca looked down. “He’s a great guy,” she said after a long pause. “I can see why you were so worried about him, though. I’m surprised he agreed to take all of us over here in the boat.”

  “I was, too. You were great helping him calm down back there. I owe you one.”

  Rebecca looked up at him in confusion. “I didn’t do anything but distract him,” she said. “Anyone could have done that.”

  “But no one else did,” Elliot pointed out. “Not even me, and I’ve been his friend for a long time. I should have been paying more attention.” He leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling.

  “You were a little distracted,” Rebecca said lightly.

  “I was.”

  “Nicole was very… appreciative of the use of your lap.”

  “Nicole?” Elliot sounded confused. “I didn’t mean… oh, right. Yes, well, she was pretty grateful, wasn’t she?”

  A little too grateful, thought Rebecca sourly, remembering the way Nicole had clung to him as he helped her out of the boat. She shook her head and closed her eyes. She shouldn’t care what Elliot did with his girlfriend. She tried to convince herself that her reaction would be different if the girlfriend wasn’t Nicole, but gave up when her eyelids started to grow heavy. The room was warm from the midday Sun streaming in through the windows, and within minutes she was asleep.

  Rebecca was so comfortable that she didn’t want to open her eyes when she finally woke up. She was stretched out on the couch, and she wondered idly what had happened to Elliot. There was something soft and warm tucked around her, and she realized that someone had covered her with a blanket. She smiled, thinking Cassie had found her and, knowing how little sleep she had been getting lately, had taken pity on her.

  She finally convinced her reluctant eyes to open and found herself looking at Elliot. He had moved sometime in the middle of her nap and was sitting in a chair across from her, his feet propped on the coffee table between them. She blinked sleepily at him and smiled, rubbing her eyes. She wondered how long he had been sitting there watching her.

  “What time is it?”

  He glanced at the clock over the mantel. “Five o’clock. You’ve been out for a while.”

  “I’m sorry; I should have been helping Cassie or Locke–”

  Elliot made a face and interrupted her. “You’re on vacation, too,” he reminded her. “If you need to sleep through it, then go right ahead.”

  “Well, I still should have been doing something.” Rebecca hated taking naps. Well, no, she really loved them; she just hated how she felt when she woke up, like she should have been doing something else that wasn’t so selfish.

  “Besides,” Elliot said, “you looked too cute to wake up. You still talk in your sleep, you know.”

  Oh, please, thought Rebecca in some desperation. She tried to remember if she had dreamed about anything in particular. “Please tell me I didn’t say anything too embarrassing.”

  “Nothing too bad,” he said. “You did proclaim your undying love...”

  Rebecca covered her face with the blanket.

  “…for the guy who installed Cassie’s washer and dryer. You need to get over this thing you have for laundry.”

  She laughed as she threw a pillow at him and sat up. “Where is everyone?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

  “Down at the beach. Locke offered to stay, but I told him he could take everyone down and I’d follow when you were awake.”

  “Thanks,” Rebecca said. “I’m surprised you didn’t leave me a note so you could go down with Nicole. She probably would have liked that.”

  Elliot shrugged. “She was busy yammering at Locke about how much the house was worth,” he said. He didn’t look sorry he missed it. “And I didn’t want you to get lost.”

  “Thanks,” Rebecca repeated. She wasn’t sure how to take this new, polite Elliot. He made her nervous. “Let me run up to my room and I’ll meet you back here in a few minutes.”

  The beach was empty when they arrived there save for the inhabitants of Casa Shaw. Michael was kneeling on the sand trying to light a fire, while Cassie and Haley hovered nearby offering advice, which he was studiously ignoring.

  When Nicole spotted Elliot, she ran over to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. “You’re so chivalrous!” Nicole said. “That was so nice of you to stay up there all by yourself so Rebecca could take a nap.” She glanced at Rebecca condescendingly.

  Elliot shrugged, obviously uncomfortable about what Nicole was implying. “It was no trouble.”

  Locke looked up from his amused perusal of Michael’s fire and took in Rebecca’s expression. He rose up from his seat on the blanket he had been sharing with Nicole and sauntered over. “Did you sleep well?” he asked, grabbing the bag of hot dogs she had thought to bring with her.

  “I did, actually. I think I might move into your library.”

  Locke’s eyes creased when he smiled. “It’s a deal,” he said. He stole a look at Elliot’s stony expression. “We’ll have to hammer out the details later. I think it’s high time Michael learned how to properly light a fire.” He grabbed her arm and led her to the blanket before he shooed Michael away from his sad pile of smoking branches. To Michael’s disgust he had the fire burning within minutes.

  “Is there anything that guy can’t do?” Michael grumbled. “He plays the piano, he dances, he owns a boat, he lights fires… I’m starting to feel very insecure here.”

  “Poor baby,” Cassie said, patting him on the back. “You’re good at other things. You just don’t have a lot of Renaissance man qualities.”

  “Thanks a lot.” Michael sounded irritated, but he pulled her close to him.

  Rebecca was surprised to feel a twinge of jealousy as she watched them interact. She didn’t regret not marrying Michael, but she had to acknowledge to herself that at times she wished she could feel less like a third wheel and more like a part of the group.

  Locke nudged her shoulder, shaking her out of her trance. “Do you want to go for a walk along the beach?” he asked. “I’m starting to feel a little left out with all the cuddling going on.”

  Locke should add mind reader to his list of qualities, Rebecca thought. She looked over at Haley, who was busy talking on her cell phone. Haley waved at them and then turned back to her conversation.

  “See what I mean?” Locke asked.

  Rebecca stood up. She glanced back at the blanket before she let Locke lead her down the beach. Nicole had taken her spot and had pulled Elliot down to sit next to her. Elliot looked at Rebecca pointedly before allowing Nicole to regain his attention.

  “You have a lot of books in your library,” Rebecca said with some envy when they were out of sight. “I was serious when I told you I could move into that room. I would only come out to use the bathroom. You’d never notice I was there.”

  Locke laughed. “Elliot says the same thing whenever he visits. What do you like so much about that room?”

  Rebecca put her hands behind her back like she was giving a speech in middle school. “It’s a long list,” she warned. “Are you sure you want to hear it?”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, to start with, it smells divine. All that wood lining the bookshelves, and the smell of the glue and the paper in the books… it made my head swim. I love the smell of a library. If they bottled that I’d wear it as perfume.”

  “What else?” Locke prompted when she stopped talking.

  “The piano. My mother had one that was almost identical to the one in your library. I would spend hours watching her play. If I could have her in that room with me, playing her piano, I would feel like I was back at home… only a better version of it.”

  Locke turned them toward a pile of large rocks that jutte
d into the lake. He helped her climb up before continuing. “What happened to her piano?” he asked. “You speak of it like it’s no longer there.”

  “It’s not,” Rebecca said. “We had to sell the house a few weeks ago, along with everything in it. I don’t have anywhere to store a grand piano, so it had to go with the rest of the things.”

  “I’m sorry,” Locke said. “My parents think I’m crazy to get attached to objects like pianos and organs and boats, but I do. They can really remind you of a person.” He paused to sit down on the rock closest to the water and patted the space next to him. When she had settled herself, he leaned back on his elbows and looked up at her. He wasn’t touching her, but she could feel the warmth of his arm next to hers. “What else do you like about my library?” he asked.

  “The light,” she responded without thinking about it. “The lamps are great, and I’m sure when it’s dark they make for a very cozy read, but with those windows open on both sides of the room, the light just streams in. It’s almost as though you’re surrounded by a warmth that seeps into your very bones.”

  The only sound for a long time after her speech was the crashing of the waves all around them. When Locke finally spoke, it was through a voice choked with tears. “Emily used to love the lighting in there,” he said. “She was an artist, and she made me move all her easels in there on sunny days.” He moved suddenly as if to stand up but got no farther than his knees. He buried his face in his hands and started to sob. “It’s all my fault,” he said brokenly. “I should have left her at the house.”

  Rebecca opened her mouth, intending to reassure him, but stopped when she realized she was just going to repeat the same platitudes everyone had spouted at her when her mother had died. What could she possibly tell Locke that would help? She couldn’t think of anything. At a loss for anything better to do, she put her arm around him and leaned her head on his back, figuring simple human contact was better than nothing. She didn’t say anything, and after a few minutes of uncertainty, she pulled him into her arms and let him cry on her shoulder.

  His grief lasted until the Sun had set and the only light was from the moon. When his tears finally subsided, he curled into a ball next to her, laid his head on her lap, and fell into an exhausted sleep.

  Elliot found them there, half an hour later. “What happened?” he whispered when he was close enough to see them through the darkness. “Is Locke all right?”

  Rebecca shrugged. She had been running her fingers through his hair since he had slumped on her shoulder, figuring it had always made her feel better. “I think so,” she said quietly so she wouldn’t awaken him. “We were talking about Emily–”

  “Emily? He said her name? How did you get him to do that?” Elliot asked, clearly shocked.

  “I don’t know. I was telling him how I loved the lighting in his library and it all just came out. He cried for a good long time. I’m glad you came; I was starting to think we’d be here for the rest of the night.” She shivered. “I wasn’t looking forward to spending the night out here by myself.”

  Elliot sat next to her and stared at the moon. “I don’t get it,” he said at last.

  Rebecca just looked at him.

  “I’ve been trying to get him to talk for the past six months,” he finally went on, frustration evident in his tone. “He wouldn’t even mention Emily’s name after the funeral. And here you come, a complete stranger, and he takes one look at you and he lets it all out.”

  Rebecca felt the dampness on her shirt seep into her skin. She shivered again; the wind was cold off the lake.

  “You should get back to the house,” he said. “It’s starting to get chilly.”

  “I don’t want to disturb him,” she said. “I think he needs to get some sleep. I can wait until he wakes up.”

  Elliot looked at her for a long time. “If you stay, so do I. Don’t move. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.” Then he disappeared into the darkness.

  Half an hour later, Rebecca could see a flashlight bobbing toward her. Elliot climbed the rocks and placed something over her shoulders.

  “I couldn’t find your jacket,” he said, “so I brought you mine. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Elliot’s scent surrounded her, and she inhaled deeply. It made her head spin.

  “Sorry I took so long.” Elliot’s voice was edged with frustration. “Nicole said she needed me to help her get back to the house; I guess she didn’t trust Michael to find his way in the dark. I’m sorry.”

  “That’s fine,” Rebecca said absentmindedly. She was having a hard time thinking clearly.

  He sat behind her and looked over her head at Locke, still curled up with his head on her lap. “Has he moved at all?”

  Shaking her head, Rebecca touched Locke’s face gently. “Not a bit. I may be here for a while.”

  Elliot sat still for a moment and then, breathing deeply, pulled her back so she was resting against his arm. “We may as well make ourselves comfortable,” he said.

  The Sun shining on her face woke Rebecca the next morning. Something was tight around her waist, making it hard to move. She lay still for a minute, trying to think where she was. She could hear something that sounded like a heartbeat in her ear, and opening her eyes, she saw the blue of Elliot’s shirt under her cheek. She was too comfortable to care that she shouldn’t have been outside sleeping with another girl’s boyfriend.

  “You’re finally awake.” Locke’s voice came from behind her. “Good morning. Don’t move too far; Elliot’s got you pinned down, and he looks like he doesn’t want to let go of you.”

  Rebecca twisted her head backward, and Elliot’s arm tightened around her. “I should get up,” she told Locke, reluctant. “Can you help?”

  He stood up and slowly moved Elliot’s arm so she could crawl away. She almost fell over when she tried to stand up, and Locke grabbed her arms to keep her steady. “Be careful,” he warned. “You’re not too far from the water. I’m surprised we didn’t all fall into the lake last night.”

  One look at the grey water swirling just a feet away made Rebecca’s knees weak. She hadn’t realized when they had climbed the rocks in the dark the night before, how close they were to the edge. She could swim, but she wasn’t sure how strong the currents were. “Don’t worry,” Locke said laughingly. “I won’t let you fall in.”

  There was something in his voice that hadn’t been there the day before. He sounded younger and almost… happy. Rebecca gazed at him in wonder. “How are you feeling?” she asked.

  Locke grinned. “I feel better than I have in weeks,” he said. “Thanks for listening last night. I guess I should have paid more attention to Elliot when he offered to talk things out.” He kissed her forehead and rested his chin on her hair. “I’ve been thinking this morning while I waited for you two to wake up,” he said. “I’m really glad I convinced Elliot to bring you up here.”

  Rebecca could hear a strangled sound behind her. “Good morning, Elliot,” Locke said calmly.

  Grunting, Elliot stood up and started to climb down the rocks without bothering to stretch the kinks from his muscles that Rebecca knew were there. “I’m going to the house,” he muttered without looking at them.

  Locke held out his hand to help Rebecca step down behind him. “I don’t know about you,” he said, “but I’m famished. Let’s get showered and go out for breakfast.”

  When they got back to the house, Nicole had already attacked Elliot. “You’re back!” she said, pouting prettily. “I was starting to think you’d left me here all by myself.”

  “Where are the others?” Rebecca asked, looking around. Nicole’s gaze shifted to Rebecca for a second, and her eyes narrowed when she saw her wearing Elliot’s jacket. Rebecca quickly removed it and handed it to Elliot, who took it without looking at her. “Thanks,” she said.

  “Why does she have your jacket on?” Nicole asked sharply.

  Rebecca glanced at Elliot, who looked increasingly uncomfortable. “Elliot was gene
rous enough to let me borrow it last night,” she said.

  “Where are Cassie, Michael and Haley?” Elliot asked, evidently trying to divert Nicole’s attention.

  Nicole shrugged as though the question of her relatives’ whereabouts had little bearing on her happiness. “Asleep, I guess. Elliot, when are you going to take me on a carriage ride? I’ve been looking through some of the brochures in the bedroom and they’re supposed to be very romantic.”

  Rebecca tried not to envision Elliot and Nicole feeding each other strawberries in a horse-drawn carriage.

  “Let me change,” Elliot said, grabbing Nicole’s hand. “Then I’ll take you on all the carriage rides you want.”

  On her way down the stairs, Rebecca left a note for the others and then sat with the men in the kitchen, thinking about food while Nicole fussed with her appearance, changing her clothes four times. When she appeared downstairs for Elliot’s perusal for the fifth time, he stood up and steered her toward the door, not listening to any of her protests. Rebecca was glad; she’d skipped dinner last night, and she was hungry.

  By the time they arrived at Main Street, Nicole was complaining about the walk. “Why do we have to walk everywhere?” she asked petulantly.

  “I could rent you a bike,” Elliot offered.

  “A bike? Bicycles are for children.”

  “Not on the island,” Locke cut in. He was having a hard time keeping a straight face. “I keep a bunch of them at the house. It’s the fastest way to get around.” Nicole shuddered.

  Once they were seated and eating, Rebecca and Locke tuned the other two out and started talking about books. They had seen a bookshop on Main Street, and Rebecca wanted to know if it was any good.

  “It’s more of a used-book store along with the typical tourist fare,” Locke said, wiping his mouth. “We can go in after breakfast if you’d like.”

  “I would,” she said. “I need to get cracking on my own book collection if I ever want to catch up to yours.”

  Locke laughed. “That would certainly be an undertaking. Unless you already have one started back in Chicago.”

  “She does,” Elliot interrupted. They both looked at him in surprise. “Have a collection, I mean. Boxes and boxes of them. At least, she used to.” He flushed and turned his attention back to Nicole.