Blade's Distraction (Paranormal Wars: Juarez Book 1)

by Shea Balik

  Forest wasn’t sure Kai was right. The pushing Forest could handle. It was the constant disappointment that told a different story. He would have been better to go off on his own. Of course, he’d probably be dead right now, but at least he wouldn’t have to feel bad about himself.

  The vehicle stopped, and Forest helped the guys unload the various weapons he would be using. So far he’d been out there four times and made a lot of progress. In fact, the last time they were there, Evan painted normal-sized targets, and Forest hit it every time with the three different handguns he used.

  This time Forest would start using rifles. He would still practice with handguns since they were in the city a lot and rifles just weren’t practical. Deciding what Blade thought at the moment wasn’t going to help him concentrate, Forest did his best to put the overbearing man out of his head.

  A folding table was set up with six different handguns laid out. His favorite was the Glock, as it seemed to fit his hand the best. The Ruge, and the Colt he’d also practiced with.

  “The other three are a Berretta, another Glock, and a Remington.” Evan’s gaze almost seemed to caress each gun as he pointed them out. “Each is a different caliber in order to get the feel of what each of them can do.”

  For the next thirty minutes, Evan went through how to dismantle and clean each gun before Forest could start target practice. Every night he was required to sit with Evan to do this same routine over and over again. His times for taking them apart and putting them back together were getting better. As he looked at the six handguns and two rifles he was to use today, Forest knew his nights were going to get a lot longer.

  Chapter 7

  Blade stormed out of the dojo they had been renting to train Forest. Pizi, a friend of Talon’s from when they went to school, owned the place and rented it out to them whenever it wasn’t being used for classes.

  As soon as he entered the hotel, Blade went to Talon’s room. He only gave the door a courtesy knock before storming in. Talon and Rune were on a video conference with Alek Rykov, the Alliance’s communications expert Rangi Ku, and computer expert, Zeke Torres.

  “How can you have lost him again?” Alek practically shouted at Talon. “I thought you said you would be able to find him.”

  Talon’s jaw clenched, a sign that he was doing everything he could to stay calm. If Blade had to guess, he was mentally counting to ten in order to answer the Alpha without biting his head off.

  “There was no way we could have known he was in that bar. We were making progress. Forest still has a couple of more contacts but we need help finding them as they seem to have gone off the grid,” Talon informed Alek.

  Letting Talon deal with the Alpha, Blade thought about Forest. As much as Forest believed Blade was dissatisfied with his improvement, nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the time he had to stop himself from beaming with pride when the man flawlessly did a move he’d just been taught.

  Unfortunately, in their world there was no such thing as being too prepared, so Blade pushed Forest hard in order for him to keep up. He hadn’t been kidding earlier when he told Forest the enemy wasn’t going to give him a breather. With Forest having to start from scratch, Blade had to push him harder than anyone else if he even hoped Forest would be able to defend himself when faced against Raptor and his goons again.

  “Fine, but I expect results soon,” Alek told Talon before he left the screen. Rangi and Zeke stayed online as they talked with Rune regarding the details of trying to find Forest’s contacts.

  Blade gestured to Talon that he needed to talk to him. Still obviously pissed about Alek’s criticism of the way he was handling finding Raptor, Talon stormed from the room and into Blade’s with Blade following close behind.

  As soon as the door clicked shut, Blade opened his mouth to tell Talon off about yanking Forest from training, but Talon started talking first. “If this is about Forest’s training, save it. You are pushing him too hard. According to the others, you never give him any praise and he’s starting to get defeated.

  “I don’t know what the deal is between you two, nor do I care, other than it’s starting to affect the team.” Hard eyes bore into him. “Fix it, or I’m pulling you as his trainer.”

  Blade just stared back at Talon, stunned by his words. How could he say he hasn’t been praising Forest? Hell, it took everything in him not to tell him he’s doing great after each move. Each time he had to force himself to order Forest to do it again, only better.

  Blade thought back over the week and could name at least a dozen times a day when he had to hold himself back from gushing over the man. As he replayed each time they trained, one thought came to the forefront—he’d been so busy trying not to praise Forest too much that he’d never actually given him any positive feedback.

  He groaned in dismay.

  “By the look on your face, I’d say the others weren’t exaggerating.” Opening the door, Talon said over his shoulder, “Fix it.”

  Blade just stood there in shock as he went over each and every moment he’d been training Forest, coming back to the same conclusion—he was an idiot. It was like he couldn’t think straight when it came to Forest. He couldn’t help but be distracted, with those emerald green eyes that were always filled with mischief, hair that always looked like he’d just rolled out of bed after a night of sex, and a body that pushed all Blade’s buttons.

  Add to that, Forest’s drive to be who he wanted be, no matter the consequences, and Blade found himself completely captivated by the coyote shifter. All he seemed to do anymore was think about fucking Forest against the nearest wall.

  Half the time, when one of the others was sparring with Forest, Blade wanted to rip them in half for daring to touch his coyote. His coyote? Now Blade knew he was losing it. Never in his life had he ever allowed himself to become attached to the men he’d fucked. Hell, he usually didn’t even bother to learn their names, much less see them more than the one night.

  With Forest, things were just different. Blade couldn’t even figure out why. Sure, Forest was cute, but he was still just another guy. Liar. Even as he thought the words Blade knew them for the lie they were. The fact that the coyote was distracting Blade was bad enough, but now he was becoming possessive of the man.

  Maybe he should turn his training over to Kai. A growl of displeasure rumbled around in his head. Clearly his panther didn’t like the idea as his hackles rose in protest. That was another thing, his panther wanted Blade to make Forest theirs. His animal had never cared who’d he fucked before, so why now?

  How long he stood there trying to figure out what to do, he didn’t know, but the sun was setting, indicating it had been at least a couple of hours. Forest should be back from target practice. Striding out the door, he went to the man’s room.

  Just as he was about to knock, he heard Forest inside talking. “Isn’t it possible my coyote is confused and he’s not my mate?”

  Several seconds passed in silence before he heard Forest argue with whomever he was talking to. “Just because you’re mated doesn’t mean you know he’s my mate. I know you think you’re some sort of God, but you could be wrong.”

  Without thinking about what he was doing, Blade stormed into Forest’s room, breaking the lock in his impatience. “Who’s your mate?” he demanded of Forest.

  Forest’s green eyes were as big as saucers as he stared at Blade while a red flush spread up his neck and into his cheeks. “I–I gotta g–go,” Forest said to whomever he was talking.

  If Blade had to guess, it had been Wolfe, but that didn’t matter as much as Forest having found his mate. He didn’t know much about mates except that Wyatt’s parents had been mated. They used to say it was like finding your other half. Jealously coursed through Blade’s veins at the thought of Forest with anyone else, even his mate.

  “What the hell, Blade? You broke my fucking door.” Forest had ignored Blade’s question as if he’d never even asked it, instead going over to the door to in
spect it.

  Incensed at being ignored, Blade grabbed Forest’s arm, spinning him around before slamming him up against the wall. “Answer me,” he ordered Forest. “Who is your mate?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Forest answered nonchalantly.

  Blade might have believed him, except the acrid smell of fear permeated the room with just a hint of a lie. His panther started pacing at the scent of Forest being scared. The need to protect Forest had him ready to pounce even if Blade was the cause. What he couldn’t figure out was why Forest was scared.

  Pressing in closer until his body was effectively pinning Forest to the wall, he placed his hands on either side of Forest’s head. “Don’t lie to me,” he warned.

  He couldn’t help the feeling of satisfaction when Forest shivered at Blade’s warning. As much as he didn’t want Forest to be afraid of him, he and his panther did want to prove just who Forest belonged to. There was no doubt in his mind that Forest was his, body and soul, and he wasn’t about to let the kid go.

  His body stiffened at that last thought. It was like a light was suddenly turned on. Pushing away from Forest, Blade finally understood why he’d been so possessive, why he couldn’t stop thinking about the kid, and why he was so distracted.

  Forest was his mate.

  Pressure pushed down on Blade’s chest as he tried to comprehend what was happening. After having grown up under his parents’ tyrannical thumbs, Blade never allowed himself to develop relationships other than his close friends. Even they were kept at a distance. He didn’t trust anyone not to hurt him, so he stayed away from others.

  His friends were only there because he’d met them in preschool. His parents had been beating him even then, but Blade had still been too young to not want someone to play with. By the time he reached the seventh grade he’d tried to pull away from his friends, but they wouldn’t let him go.

  It wasn’t until he was in the military, taking heavy gunfire, that he realized how much he’d depended on his friends to keep him sane. He firmly believed he’d be a cold-blooded killer if it hadn’t been for them. That may seem extreme, but it was during that battle that he found he didn’t mind killing others. He’d never been so terrified in his entire life to figure this out about himself.

  What if he couldn’t be mated? He didn’t know how to be in a relationship. What if Forest found out he didn’t really have feelings? He hated to admit it, but most of the time he faked his emotions to mimic the others just so they wouldn’t know.

  Panic rose, and Blade had to get away. He bolted from the room and practically ran out of the hotel. Even being outside wasn’t enough so he kept running. If he kept running, maybe he wouldn’t have to feel all the emotions threatening to drown him.

  “Blade, where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Talon’s voice said through his earpiece. Not wanting to talk, Blade pulled the earpiece out.

  The city faded away until there was nothing but a few cacti and a scrub brush. Changing into his panther, he continued running. Images of Forest laying in that bar bruised and broken caused Blade to stumble. Straightening quickly, he ran faster.

  But no matter how fast he went, he couldn’t escape Forest’s expressive dark green eyes. They seemed to call to Blade even though the man was nowhere around. Suddenly, Forest’s eyes held hurt and disappointment, the same look he had when he realized Blade was running away from him.

  Conflicted about what to do, he allowed his panther control and headed back to their mate. Suddenly the word sounded right in Blade’s head. Forest belonged to Blade. As he struggled with the knowledge, his panther brought him back to the edge of town just as the sun was rising in the sky.

  Chapter 8

  Talon stood waiting for him with a change of clothes. Shifting back, he took the clothes from the one man who had fought the hardest to stop Blade from losing his humanity all those years ago. After dressing, he really looked at Talon and saw the understanding and if he wasn’t mistaken, pride.

  That just confused Blade more. What could Talon be proud of? Blade had run away from his own mate. He’d always forced himself to face things head-on, and yet he’d run at the first sign of having to face something uncomfortable.

  “Yes, running wasn’t your finest moment,” Talon said, as if he were reading Blade’s mind. “But you came back and to me that’s all that matters. Hell, Hunter has a pool going with ten-to-one odds we’ll never see you again.”

  Later he’d have to remember to beat the crap out of Hunter. The man might be their assassin, but Blade was the one who’d trained him. There was no doubt Hunter was good at his job but Blade was better.

  First he had to talk to Forest. He just wished he knew what he was going to say. Emotions weren’t something he was comfortable with. Who was he kidding? His parents beat any emotion out of him as a child. Did he even have feelings?

  Talon gripped his shoulder, staring hard at Blade. “I know you always believed your parents beat any type of emotion out of you, but it’s not true. You have seven guys who you remained friends with for the last forty years that proves that.”

  “Stop reading my fucking mind.” He might grouse about it, but he was grateful Talon knew him so well that Blade didn’t have to find the words to explain himself.

  Talon laughed. “Come on, you big baby. It’s time to face Forest.”

  He swallowed hard at the thought of having to lay himself bare. Forest deserved nothing less. With each step closer to the hotel, Blade felt like a huge weight was pressing down on him. What if he screwed this up? What if Forest left because Blade couldn’t be what he needed? His panther snarled at the thought.

  His friends all stood in the hallway when he reached their floor. Money exchanged between several hands, but all of them smiled in encouragement. Whatever happened, Blade knew his friends would be there for him. That weight dragging him down felt lighter at the thought.

  Maybe he could do this. Then he was in front of the door of Forest’s room. Raising his hand, he froze before he could make himself knock. Looking over at his friends once more, Blade took a fortifying breath and forced his hand to bang against the door.

  Because he’d broken it earlier, the door swung open. The sight of his mate, the one made just for him, standing there and clearly having been crying, broke Blade’s heart. And that’s when he realized Talon was right, he still had a heart and it belonged to the man standing in front of him.

  The scowl on Forest’s face told Blade he’d have to find a way to make the man forgive him. “Can I come in?” he asked.

  At first Forest looked ready to tell him to go to Hell, but he finally gestured for Blade to come in. Sighing in relief, he stepped into the room. Green eyes blazed with anger as soon as he pushed the door shut.

  “I’m sorry I left,” Blade started to say.

  Forest snorted. “Left? You fucking ran out of here like you were on fire.”

  Cringing at the dead-on description, Blade took a step closer to his mate, but Forest stepped away from him. “Okay, I’m sorry I ran.” He could tell Forest didn’t believe him. “I know I didn’t handle that well.”

  Running his fingers through his hair in frustration, Blade knew he was going to have to be honest with Forest to gain his trust once more. “I know I screwed up, but I’m trying.”

  Some of that anger leached out of Forest’s expression. It wasn’t much, but Blade would take anything he could get at this point.

  “What I’m going to tell you, I’ve never told another soul. My friends know, but that’s only because they were there when it was happening. I’ve never actually spoken about it to them.” Blade could feel his heart rate speeding up and his breathing getting rapid and shallow. Fuck, he was going to have a panic attack if he didn’t get control of himself.

  But thoughts of his parents, his childhood, the degradation, and the beatings were bubbling up. The lid he kept on all those feelings was no longer shut, and no matter how much he tried, Blade couldn’t get i
t closed, especially since Forest deserved to know. Sweat broke out across his body even as he started shaking.

  The refreshing scent of mint surrounded him as Forest’s hand touched his arm, soothing him as nothing ever had. Slowly his senses started to come back to him as he was no longer drowning in the myriad of emotions swirling through him.

  “Hey, Blade, it’s okay. I’m right here.” Forest’s voice seeped deep within his bones, settling his panther. Arms wrapped around him holding him tightly. “Come back to me Blade. I’m right here.”

  Burying his face in Forest’s neck, he grabbed onto his mate, pulling Forest tightly against his body. A dam broke and the words just poured out. “My parents used to beat me. Not just for something I did wrong but for everything they perceived as weak. Emotions were a big trigger. I wasn’t allowed to cry, get angry, be happy, excited, disappointed. Hell, there wasn’t an emotion they approved of.”

  Now that he started talking, he couldn’t seem to stop. “Failure wasn’t an option in whatever I did. Talon used to lose on purpose when we competed just so my parents wouldn’t have another reason to whip me.” Blade had never acknowledged what Talon had done for him, but he’d known. Talon was stronger, faster, and smarter than Blade. Although Blade came in second, he was never more than a couple steps behind Talon.

  Blade cared only because of the consequences. His panther had recognized Talon as the more dominant shifter, and he was perfectly content to let him lead. Too bad his parents didn’t feel the same.

  Confessing his shortcomings when he didn’t have to look into Forest’s eyes was much easier. “By the time I was ten, I learned not to show emotion. By twelve or thirteen, I didn’t have any emotions. I no longer cried, even when they beat me unconscious.