by Patricia Kay
Sophie relaxed a bit as they drank their wine. She was grateful none of the other teachers from the high school were there tonight. Maybe she’d dodged a bullet. But just as the thought crossed her mind, who should walk in but Nicole Blanchard and a tall man Sophie didn’t know? Sophie tried to shrink down in her seat, but it was too late. Nicole saw her, and after her first shocked look, she headed straight over to their table, the tall man following her.
“Well, look who’s here. Hello, Sophie. Hello, Dillon.” Nicole smiled sweetly, but her eyes shot daggers at Sophie.
“Hello, Nicole,” Sophie and Dillon said at the same time. They both smiled. Sophie looked pointedly at Nicole’s date. “Hi,” she said to him.
“Hi.” He looked uncomfortable.
“I don’t believe we’ve met,” Dillon said, standing politely.
“Oh,” Nicole said. “This is Alan. Alan, this is Dillon Burke. You know, the new coach at the high school. He used to play for the Los Angeles Lions.” She ignored Sophie.
Sophie bit back a grin. Same old Nicole.
“I knew it was you,” no-last-name Alan said. “I’ve been a fan for years. Best thing the high school’s done in a long time, hiring you.”
“Well, thanks,” Dillon said. He turned to Sophie. “This is Sophie Marlowe. She’s the counselor at the high school.”
After a few more seconds of inconsequential chitchat, Nicole’s date finally managed to pry her away and they were seated across the room.
“Oh, brother,” Sophie said as they both sat down again.
“Yeah, she’s a pain.”
Sophie could just imagine what Nicole would have to say the following day, but there was nothing to be done about it. Just then, their waiter brought their salads and a basket of hot bread, so for the next few minutes they ate without talking. Once the salads were gone, though, Dillon said, “So, did you and Joy decide anything?”
“I think so. I suggested she might like to just stay here to have her baby, but she doesn’t want to. I think she and I will go to San Antonio this weekend and visit this home I found. Online it looks great, but I want to see it in person and let Joy meet the people there before making a decision.”
“What’s the place like?”
Sophie described what she’d read and seen in photos. “It looks really nice. Plus, Joy could take some evening classes at the Southwest School of Art.”
“That should soften the blow a little,” Dillon said.
“Yes.” Sophie debated if and when she should tell him the rest. For some reason, she felt reluctant to do so.
“You seem hesitant,” Dillon said, pouring more wine in each of their glasses.
“Not about the home. I...” She drank some of her wine to give her a few minutes.
“If not about the place, then what?”
“I want to adopt Joy’s baby.”
There. She’d said it. She met Dillon’s eyes defiantly.
He looked completely taken aback.
“Well? Say something.”
He seemed stunned. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Why are you so shocked?”
“I guess because I had no idea you felt this way.”
“I didn’t know I felt this way, either,” Sophie admitted. “But I do.” She met his gaze. “It’s a good idea, don’t you think?”
“You’re the only one who can answer that, Sophie.”
Before she could make a rejoinder, their waiter approached with their food: mushroom ravioli for Sophie and the house special lasagna for Dillon. Sophie waited till the waiter had departed before saying, “This is something I really want, Dillon.”
“A baby,” he said.
“This baby,” she said.
He nodded, then took a bite of his lasagna. “Okay,” he finally answered. “Then, yes, I think it’s a good idea. For you. But what about Joy? What about Aidan?”
“What about them?” She speared a piece of her ravioli.
“Maybe it’s not such a good idea for them.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Don’t you think it’ll just keep reminding them of what they did that they shouldn’t have done? Don’t you think it might be hard for them?”
“Possibly. But I think it might be harder to just give away their baby to some stranger. To not ever see that baby again. When they’re both older, they might really regret having done that.”
Dillon nodded. He put down his fork and leaned toward her earnestly. “What if...just what if...one day one or both of them decide they want their baby? What will you do then?”
Sophie stared at him. “It will be a legal adoption, Dillon. I wouldn’t settle for anything less.” But could she really stick to that decision? Would she be able to deny Joy her child if Joy should sometime decide she wanted that child?
Did Sophie really want to open this can of worms?
Chapter Seven
“And your sister wants to adopt the baby?”
Joy nodded. She and Aidan were sitting close together on the couch in the living room. They hadn’t turned on any lights, so the only light came from the lamp on the table in the foyer. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know. It...it won’t really affect me,” Aidan said. “’Cause I won’t be coming back here after college.”
Joy’s heart constricted. She’d known he felt this way. She’d figured she’d never see him again once he left Crandall Lake. But suspecting and hearing him put it into words were two different things. She guessed down deep she’d always hoped they’d stay in touch, and that maybe someday they’d get together again. But he obviously didn’t feel that way.
“How do you feel about it?” Aidan said. “You’re the one who’s going to have to live with it.”
“I don’t know what to think. But Sophie wants it...” And in some ways, it would be good to know where her baby was and how he was doing. Besides, now that she knew how Aidan felt, Joy figured she probably wouldn’t be coming back to Crandall Lake, either, once she started at a college or art school, except for summer vacations. So it wouldn’t be as if she’d have to see their child every day. And as she got older and had her own career and family, she wouldn’t see much of him at all. “It’ll make her happy,” she finished in a rush, trying not to think that Aidan would not be a part of her future at all. That she wouldn’t see anything of him. That every time she did see their child, there would be this ache in her heart. I’ll never be able to forget Aidan if Sophie is raising our baby.
“Then, fine. Let her do it.”
Joy tried to swallow against the lump in her throat. “Will...you come to see me in San Antonio?”
“I don’t know, Joy. If...you aren’t gonna be here, then maybe Dillon’ll let me go back to Ohio for the rest of the school year.”
Now Joy’s heart thumped painfully, and she was afraid she might burst into tears. “You...you’re thinking of going away? Now? Before I even have the baby?”
“You’ll be going away,” he pointed out.
“But Aidan...I thought...I thought we’d be at least be together through this. I thought you’d want to be with me. This is your baby, too!” She couldn’t control the tears anymore, and they dripped down her face.
Aidan hung his head. “I’m sorry. I—I...”
He couldn’t even look at her. Joy ignored the pain in her chest and angrily brushed the tears away. Jumping up, she glared at him. “I—I thought you were different, Aidan. I thought you really cared about me. But you don’t, do you? I was just somebody convenient to make you feel better because you were lonely. You never thought about me at all, did you? Okay. Fine. Go away. I really don’t care. In fact, I don’t care if I ever see you again.”
“Joy...” He reached for her. “I do care about you. I just—�
�
“No!” she said, jumping back and slapping his hands away. “Go home. Just go home.”
Now he stood, and this time he tried to gather her into his arms.
“Don’t touch me!” Joy moved out of his grasp. “I mean it, Aidan. Go home. And don’t...don’t call me or text me or try to talk to me at school. We’re finished!”
And with that, she walked out of the room and into the dining room, where her paintings had always comforted her. She closed the door after her. Even then, even after what she’d said, she thought he’d come after her. That he’d say he was sorry, that he hadn’t meant any of it, that he was just upset, but that he loved her and wanted to be with her while she carried their baby.
It was only when she heard the front door open and close that she sank down onto the floor and cried her eyes out.
* * *
“Where are you going?” Sophie said. Dillon wasn’t headed toward her house. The truck was pointed in the opposite direction.
“It’s a nice night. Full moon. I thought I’d drive out to the lake.”
“The lake?” Sophie said weakly. God, that was all she needed. To go out to Crandall Lake, the scene where they’d made out too many times to count. “That’s not a good idea, Dillon. The kids still go out there all the time. Someone will see us.”
“I’ll drive around to the north side. I just want to sit and look at the lake in the moonlight. With you.” His voice had softened and he reached over to take her hand.
Sophie pulled it away. Her heart was already going double time, just at the thought of being out at the lake with Dillon. “This is a bad idea. You need to take me home.”
“Oh, c’mon, Sophie. Don’t be like that. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. I promise.”
That’s what she was afraid of. Trouble was, she wanted him to do every single thing they’d ever done together. And even though she knew that would be another mistake to add to the one she’d already made, she also knew she had no willpower where he was concerned. “Please, Dillon. Take me home. Okay?”
But he ignored her, turning on the radio instead. When something soft and beautiful, an instrumental love song, began to play, she realized he had Sirius. She sighed. She knew when she was beaten.
Ten minutes later, he pulled down a private driveway leading to the north side of the lake—the side lined with large, beautiful homes. “I don’t think you’re allowed to drive on this road,” she said.
“Who’s going to see us?” So saying, he turned off the headlights.
A few minutes later, with only the moonlight to guide them, he stopped. The lake was only about six feet ahead of them. He lowered the windows, allowing the cool night air in. The water shimmered and lapped gently, and somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted.
Slipping his arm around her, he pulled her closer. Sophie didn’t even try to resist. What was the point?
And when he whispered “Sophie...” and lowered his head to capture her mouth in a kiss, she closed her eyes and gave herself up to him.
She’d forgotten how difficult it could be to make love in a car. Difficult but incredibly exciting because no matter how private the area might seem, no matter how they might feel protected and enclosed by the night, there was an inescapable element of danger. That element lent an edge to the desire flooding her, and Sophie knew she wasn’t going to say no. In fact, she wasn’t going to deny him anything. She was his for the taking.
She gasped as the cool air hit her naked skin, sucked in her breath as his mouth covered her breasts. When, just before entering her, he put on a condom, she knew he’d been thinking about this even before he picked her up tonight. But then, if she was being truthful, she’d been thinking about it, too. “Sophie!” he cried as they shuddered together in a climax that came so fast and so hard it made Sophie’s heart feel as if it were going to pound right out of her chest.
“I haven’t been able to think about anything else since the other night,” he muttered once they’d both quieted and were lying twined together.
“I noticed you came prepared,” she said drily.
“Hey, I was a Boy Scout.”
She couldn’t help laughing, even though she knew later tonight, once she was alone, she would probably regret everything she’d allowed him to do and every single thing she’d said.
“I’ve missed you, Sophie,” he said later while nuzzling her ear.
She shivered, whispering back, “I’ve missed you, too.”
“We were always good together.”
“Yes.” She sighed deeply. “Dillon?”
“Yeah?”
“My back hurts. It’s awfully cramped in this car.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” He pushed himself up, then helped her sit up.
For the next few minutes, they managed to retrieve their clothes and get dressed again.
“I think we’d better get home,” she said, not looking at him. Now that she was once again fully clothed, she felt embarrassed. What was wrong with her that she had absolutely no backbone or resistance where he was concerned?
They didn’t talk much on the way to her house. And when they got there, she hurriedly opened the door on her side and hopped out. But he was faster than she was and before she’d taken more than a few steps up the walk, he was there with her.
“What are you doing, Sophie?” he asked, taking her arm so she couldn’t escape. “Are you mad at me?”
“No, Dillon, I’m not mad at you.” But there was an ache somewhere in the vicinity of her heart.
“Then why are you trying to run away from me? I—I care about you, Sophie. I want to see you again.”
You want sex again. Why don’t you just say what you mean? “I’ll have to think about that.”
“I don’t understand you. You admitted you missed me. You agreed that we’re good together. And now you have to think about it?”
He was still holding on to her arm, so she couldn’t get away without making a federal case out of the attempt. “It’s complicated. You know that, Dillon.”
“I don’t see how. You like me, I like you, we’re damn good together and neither one of us is in a relationship with anyone else. Why is it complicated?”
Sophie sighed. “Well, for one thing, there’s the little matter of Joy and Aidan and their baby. For another, I’m not sure I’m in a good place to be making decisions right now.” And most important, all I’ve heard is the word like, which is a lukewarm word at best.
“Sophie...”
“Dillon.”
“Don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry. But I really do need some time.”
“You’re punishing me, aren’t you?”
Oh God. He’s not going to let it go. “I’m not punishing you. I’m just trying to be sensible.”
“You’re punishing me because I went off to college and left you. But, Sophie, I never promised you I’d stay.”
“Dillon, I’m not going to have this conversation tonight. It’s late, and I’m really tired and I want to go inside, see how Joy is doing and then go to bed.” So saying, she finally pulled free of his grasp. “Thanks for dinner. And good night.”
And this time she didn’t wait for him to say anything. She simply walked to the door, opened it and closed it behind her.
* * *
Dammit, anyway.
He knew what she’d wanted him to say. She’d wanted him to say he loved her, that he couldn’t live without her and that he wanted her to marry him.
But he couldn’t say that. Not unless he meant it. And he didn’t know if he did. Yes, he cared about her. And yes, he thought about her all the time. And yes, he wanted her.
But love? Marriage?
Dillon wasn’t sure he was cut out for the marriage thing. Not to mention the
fact Sophie intended to keep and raise Joy’s baby. She’d be a package deal.
So he damn sure wasn’t going to say anything he wasn’t certain he wholeheartedly meant, nor was he going to make her any promises he wasn’t certain he could keep.
He hit the steering wheel in frustration.
Damn!
* * *
Joy’s bedroom door was closed when Sophie went upstairs. She paused outside it, wondering if Joy was asleep or simply didn’t want to see or talk to Sophie again today. Deciding that a closed door sent a message, and that she was too tired to talk to Joy again anyway, Sophie headed for her own bedroom.
Later, teeth brushed, face moisturized, she was tucked into bed and allowed herself to finally think about Dillon.
“I care about you. We’re good together. I want to see you again.”
Noticeably absent were the only three words Sophie really cared about. I love you. She whispered them to herself. Would she ever hear them from Dillon? Or was she kidding herself yet again?
She knew Dillon was gun-shy.
She also knew he was afraid of commitment.
Oh, he didn’t have to say so. His past actions had said it all.
Face it, Sophie. You are letting yourself in for big-time heartbreak this time. Last time, you were just a kid. At sixteen and seventeen, heartbreak is part of the lexicon. But you’re not a kid anymore. And the kind of heartbreak Dillon can deliver will make the old heartbreak seem like a walk in the park.
You’re going to be seriously hurt in this fool’s game you’re playing. So you know what you need to do. You need to get out now. Before it’s too late. Before he takes that heart of yours and smashes it into a million pieces where all the king’s horses and all the king’s men won’t be able to put it together again.
* * *
The next day, when Sophie walked into the teachers’ lounge to eat her lunch, she cringed at the sight of Nicole Blanchard. Oh God, she thought, I’m in for it. She knew, just by the expression Nicole’s face, that the subject of Sophie’s dinner with Dillon last night was going to be the next topic of conversation. Maybe she could pretend she’d forgotten to do something and leave.
