by Patricia Kay
“I don’t want to go live in some kind of home,” Joy said.
“I wouldn’t send you anywhere like that.”
“Then what’re we gonna do?”
Sophie sighed. “Honestly? I don’t know.”
“Maybe I should just stay here.”
“It would be hard.”
“I know.”
“Think you could do it?”
Joy shrugged. “Other girls have done it. Kara Lee Tompkins did it.”
Sophie remembered how hard it had been for Kara Lee and especially for Kara Lee’s parents, because her father was the minister at the First Baptist Church here in Crandall Lake and Kara Lee herself had been the director of the children’s choir there. Lots of not-so-nice-things had been said about the teenager, especially when it was realized the father of the girl’s baby was the son of the church custodian and Hispanic. Crandall Lake wasn’t exactly a liberal-thinking town.
“How is Kara Lee?” Sophie asked. “Do you know?”
“She’s at Baylor now,” Joy said. “Last I heard, she was doing great.”
“And she gave her baby up for adoption, didn’t she?”
Joy looked thoughtful. “I think one of her dad’s brothers took the baby. Their family lives in Houston.”
Sophie nodded. Although she’d always loved Crandall Lake, at that moment she wished they lived in a big city, too. Big cities were much more forgiving. If only she had the kind of job where she could move easily, she’d give her notice, pack up and take Joy to Houston or Dallas and never look back. After all, what would she actually be leaving?
Dillon.
You’d be leaving Dillon.
She’d also be leaving the job she loved, the job she’d only won two years ago. Did she really want to do that? How would it look to other school districts if she left Crandall Lake High School in the lurch? Would anyone else even want to hire her under those circumstances? “You know what? We don’t have to decide anything today. Let me think about this for a day or two. Then we’ll talk again.”
“Okay,” Joy said.
But even as Sophie headed toward the kitchen to start preparations for their dinner, she knew that all the thinking in the world wasn’t going to give her some magic solution. And from the expression on Joy’s face when she’d left her, Sophie knew Joy realized that, too.
Chapter Six
Sophie hadn’t intended to tell Beth about Joy, but that weekend, after two more days of agonizing over the problem, she gave in to the temptation to confide in her best friend.
“Oh, Sophie, I’m so sorry,” Beth said. Her brown eyes were warm with sympathy.
“Thank you.”
“Have you looked into any of those places that take girls in this predicament?”
“Actually, I have, even though I know Joy would be horrified if she knew.”
“And?”
“And it’s not like it used to be years ago. There are some wonderful places where Joy could go and be with other girls like her. Places where she could live, go to school, take some college-level art courses, and then have her baby.” Sophie tried to make her voice upbeat, but it was hard because bottom line, Sophie didn’t want Joy to go away. She would miss her.
“So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I wish...”
“What?”
Sophie sighed deeply, giving voice for the first time to what she really wanted to do. “I know this will sound crazy, but I...I wish she could just stay here, have her baby, and...let me raise it for her.”
Beth’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding.” When Sophie only stared at her, she said, “You’re not kidding.”
“No.”
“I never knew you wanted a baby.”
“I’ve always wanted a baby. I just didn’t talk about it.” For days now, Joy’s coming baby had been like a magnet in Sophie’s mind. She’d been unable to leave the thought alone for more than minutes. She almost felt the way she knew her mother would have felt over a first grandchild.
“If you feel that way, why not talk to Joy about it? Maybe she’d be happy to do just that.”
“I don’t know. She’s embarrassed and worried about what all the kids will say.”
“That would blow over.”
“Maybe.” But Sophie wasn’t sure. “Thing is, if...well, if it were some other boy...”
Beth nodded. “Yeah. I was thinking that, but I didn’t want to say it. The fact that he’s Dillon’s nephew complicates things. It’s also kind of ironic, don’t you think?”
“Why? Because once upon a time Dillon and I were an item? That’s an old story, Beth.”
“Is it?” Beth’s eyes seemed to see right through her.
Sophie could feel her face heating.
“I knew it!” Beth said. “You’ve been seeing Dillon again.”
“It’s not like that...” Sophie began. “It’s just that I’ve had to talk to him about Joy.”
“Oh, really?” Beth looked skeptical. “And that’s all?”
But even as Sophie started to say of course that’s all, she couldn’t meet Beth’s eyes. She sighed, then shrugged. “I’m not going to see him again.” When Beth gave her a look of disbelief, Sophie added defensively, “Nothing has changed, Beth. He’s still the same love-’em-and-leave-’em Dillon Burke. And I have no intention of being left again.”
“How far has this gone?”
“We’ve just talked, that’s all.”
“Really? And I suppose you don’t feel anything for Dillon.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Sophie, you’re not a good liar.” When Sophie didn’t answer, Beth reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Just be careful, Sophie, will you? I don’t want to see you getting hurt again.”
Beth’s words haunted Sophie for the rest of the day. Beth was right. She wasn’t a good liar. And, unfortunately for her, she did care about Dillon. She cared way too much.
Darn it! She had to stop thinking about him and concentrate all her energy on a solution to the immediate problem of Joy and her baby instead.
* * *
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Dillon knew he was right when Sophie didn’t meet his eyes. “Why? Don’t you think we need to talk?”
“Yes, I do, but honestly, Dillon, I didn’t know what I was going to say when we did.”
“I realize this is a complicated situation, but it’s not going to change by us ignoring it. I think, for everyone’s sake, we need to come to a decision.”
She bit her lip. “You’re right.” Looking around nervously—they were standing in the middle of the hallway outside the office—she added in a lower voice, “But we can’t talk here.”
“I know that. So why don’t we go and get a bite to eat somewhere tonight? We can talk then.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to—”
He frowned. “For us to what?”
“You know. Be seen together outside of school.”
“Oh, for crying out loud, Sophie. What’s wrong with us being seen together outside of school? We’re both free and we’re not kids.”
“Well, I just thought—”
“What’d you just think?” Dillon was trying not to get mad, but what was wrong with her? You’d think he had some contagious disease or something the way she’d been avoiding him.
She blew out a breath. “I just wanted to avoid gossip.” She shifted to her other leg and repositioned the books she was carrying. The action caused her red T-shirt to tighten across her breasts.
Dillon hated the way his body immediately reacted to her, no matter what she did. What the hell was it about this woman that affected him so strongly? You’d think he’d never been around a se
xy woman before. “There’s gonna be a heckuva lot of gossip that’ll be way worse than seeing the two of us together before all this is over,” he muttered.
“Not if we play things right.”
Something about the way she said that told Dillon she was hiding something, because there wasn’t any conviction in her voice. Just then the bell signaling the start of the sixth period sounded, and she jumped.
Dillon needed to get out on the football field, where the team was waiting for him. “I’ll pick you up at six-thirty. We can talk more then.”
She looked as if she wanted to argue with him, but after a moment, she just nodded. “Okay.”
As Dillon walked toward the stadium, he decided that he was tired of Sophie calling all the shots. From now on, he was going to take charge. And if she didn’t like it, too bad.
He grinned. A good offense was always better than a good defense.
* * *
He sure was high-handed.
Sophie guessed Dillon thought he’d scored some points or something. Well, she’d straighten him out tonight. But before that, she needed to talk to Joy. See what she thought about Sophie’s idea. Maybe she’d be in favor of it. Sophie tried not to get her hopes up, but now that she’d admitted how much she’d like to raise Joy’s baby, maybe even adopt the baby, she could hardly think about anything else. It was if the mother gene had been awakened in her, and now that it had, it wasn’t going to go away.
During sixth period, which was a time Sophie could spend catching up on paperwork or counseling students or anything else she deemed important, she texted Joy and asked her to come straight home after school.
We need to talk, she said.
K, Joy texted back. C U then.
Joy was already at the house when Sophie arrived. Dropping her books and tote on the nearest chair, Sophie headed straight for the fridge. She was dying for iced tea After pouring herself a glass, she asked Joy if she wanted one.
“No, I’m fine,” Joy said. She had abandoned the painting she’d been working on and, following Sophie, had plopped onto one of the kitchen chairs. Reaching for a banana from the bowl of fruit in the middle of the table, she began to peel it. She made a face. “Lately, I’m always hungry.”
“You’re feeding two.”
“Yeah. I know.”
Sophie wished the circumstances were different. That the knowledge she was carrying a baby would have put a smile on Joy’s face instead of that glum, resigned expression. “Listen, I’ve had an idea, and I wanted to see what you think.”
“Okay.”
Sophie took a deep breath. “How would you feel about staying here to have your baby? And once it’s born, letting me raise it?”
Joy stared at her. “Staying here? Letting you raise it?”
“Yes.”
“But, Sophie—”
“I know. Everyone will know. But you know what the alternative is. You’ll have to go away somewhere where you don’t know anyone, where you’ll have your baby alone, where you won’t be able to see Aidan anymore, where I won’t be able to visit you very often.” She didn’t add, Where some stranger will take your baby and we won’t ever see it again. “Do you want to go away?”
Joy shook her head. “But I was thinking...why can’t I go to London?”
“London? With Mandy, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“Mandy didn’t offer, and I won’t ask her. Anyway, it’s a terrible idea.”
“Why is it a terrible idea?”
“Because of health insurance, for one thing. And for another, Mandy is going to be extremely busy with a responsible new position. She won’t have time to take care of you. And she shouldn’t have to. You’re not her responsibility. You’re mine. No. Going out of the country is not an option.”
Joy slumped ever farther down in her chair. “I don’t want everyone to know. I—I can’t face them.”
“Then I guess we’ll have to pick a place. One of the homes I researched is in San Antonio. Going there would have quite a few advantages.”
“Like what?”
“Well, If you went there, it’s close enough I could come to see you every other weekend or so.”
Joy nodded. But her eyes were bleak.
“Plus, they not only have an art institute but the Southwest School of Art is there—it’s got a terrific reputation—and you would be able to take some classes. I looked at their curriculum and they offer jewelry and metals, printmaking and mixed media, digital media and a whole lot of other classes through their Community Education Program.” The courses Sophie had mentioned weren’t available anywhere near Crandall Lake and were all areas Joy had expressed an interest in.
Joy still looked as if she wanted to cry.
Sophie felt sorry for her, but if her sister wouldn’t consider staying in Crandall Lake, then this would be the best solution. “Even if you go away, I’d still like you to think about me adopting the baby.”
“You’d really want to do that?”
“Yes, I would.”
“I thought you were just saying that because you thought it’s what I’d like to hear.”
“No, it’s what I really want.”
“And the baby wouldn’t know I was its real mother?”
“Not if you didn’t want him to know.”
Joy didn’t answer for a long moment. Then she shrugged. “I guess it would be okay.”
“You don’t sound sure.”
Another shrug. “It...it would be hard. But if you want to...”
“I do want to, but I want you to want it, too. I won’t do it if it bothers you or you feel you can’t live with it. I realize it would be easier for you if the baby went to someone else.”
“Can I think about that part for a while?”
“Yes. But, Joy...”
“Yes?”
“You might not think so now, but years from now, I think it would make you feel good to know who your baby is and where he is and to be able to see him and be a part of his life even if he never does know you’re his birth mother.”
Joy didn’t answer, but her eyes were thoughtful, and Sophie knew she would really think about what Sophie had said. Now all Sophie could do was hope she’d come to the same conclusion.
I want that baby.
That might be selfish on Sophie’s part, but she couldn’t help how she felt. “I’m going out to dinner with Dillon tonight. We’re going to talk about your decision. So I’ll make you something before I go, okay?”
“Can I just order a pizza? And can Aidan come over? I want to talk about this with him, too.”
“Of course.”
Sophie left Joy still sitting in the kitchen when she went upstairs to shower and change.
The grandfather clock in the foyer had just begun to chime the half hour when the doorbell rang.
“Right on time,” Sophie said when she opened the door. She’d changed into a black pencil skirt, black ballerina flats and a pale aqua sweater. And she’d tamed her unruly hair with a matching aqua silk ribbon. She saw that Dillon, too, had changed. Tonight he wore pressed khaki pants and a dark blue shirt. She wondered if he’d picked the color to match his eyes. The thought made her grin.
“What’re you smiling about?” he said.
“Just wondering if you picked that shirt to match your eyes.”
He gave her a mock scowl. “Men don’t think about things like that.”
“Really?”
Before he could answer, Joy came out of the dining room where she’d been doing her homework. “Hi,” she said.
“Hello, Joy. Aidan said to tell you he’d be here in a few minutes.”
“Thanks.”
“You ready?” Dillon said to Sophie.
“Yes.”
Turning to Joy, Sophie said, “We won’t be late.”
A few minutes later, Sophie was seated next to Dillon in his truck. “Where are we going?”
“I thought Genaro’s. Unless you’d prefer somewhere else?”
“I, uh, no, Genaro’s is fine.” But Sophie wasn’t sure if she really wanted to go to the popular Italian eatery. Yet she didn’t want to admit this to Dillon, because she was afraid he’d guess why. Thing was, at one time, Genaro’s had been their favorite restaurant. She wondered if Dillon had remembered, too.
When they pulled into Genaro’s parking lot, Sophie saw that there were already quite a few diners there. “Um, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“It’s already kind of crowded, don’t you think?”
“Doesn’t matter. I called Joe. He said he’d save a table for us.”
“That wasn’t what I was thinking about.”
“What were you thinking about?”
“Well, an awful lot of people will see us together.”
“So?”
“So do we really want a lot of gossip about us?”
Dillon sighed heavily. “You know, Sophie, you act like there’s something wrong with us going out together. I told you before. We’re both free, we’re both single, why shouldn’t we be out for dinner?”
Sophie wanted to say, Because I don’t want the other women at school to be saying things to me about you, because I don’t want them to think we have some kind of relationship going on, because you broke my heart once and I’m afraid you’re going to do it again!
But of course she said none of these things. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s go inside.”
Ten minutes later, settled at a corner table that afforded them a bit of privacy, Joe himself, the owner of Genaro’s, poured each of them a glass of the house Chianti, told them their salads and bread would be there soon and walked away smiling.
Several of the other diners had greeted them: the parents of the wide receiver on Dillon’s team, the principal of the Catholic Elementary School and her husband and two women Sophie knew from the water aerobics class she’d taken over the summer.
