by Patricia Kay
“I feel sorry for them both.”
“I do, too.” After thinking for a moment, she said, “Tell you what. Let’s wait and see how they feel after they talk. You talk to Aidan tonight and I’ll talk to Joy. And maybe tomorrow, all four of us can get together and come up with a plan.” Adding, “Now I think I’d better go,” Sophie started to extricate herself from his arms, but he stopped her.
“We won’t let the kids’ situation make a difference to us, will we?”
“I don’t know, Dillon. I—I’ll have to sleep on that, too.”
“I understand,” he said. “I just want you to know it doesn’t make a difference to me.”
As Sophie drove home, his words haunted her. They were nice words, yes, but there were other words he hadn’t said. Words like I love you and We belong together. Sure, he wanted sex, but Sophie wanted more. She always had. The question was, was Dillon finally prepared to give it to her?
Or would this renewal of their desire for each other end exactly the same way it did the first time?
Chapter Five
Dillon sat nursing a beer while waiting for Aidan to come in. He still wasn’t sure what he’d say to the boy, but he knew he couldn’t put off this conversation. Not after what Sophie had revealed. And especially not after what had then happened between him and Sophie.
Dillon wasn’t the particularly reflective type, especially when it came to sex. The favors of beautiful women had been freely offered ever since his college glory days and he’d rarely looked back or regretted his actions. He’d figured all parties were consenting adults and had enjoyed the experience.
But Sophie was different.
Very different.
And truth be told, Dillon felt differently about her.
So he knew he had to tread carefully. Especially if he wanted their relationship to continue.
Did he?
With his thoughts running in this vein, he didn’t realize Aidan was home until he heard the front door open. Before the kid could escape to his bedroom upstairs, Dillon got up and walked out into the hall. “Hey,” he said.
Aidan turned around.
Dillon wasn’t surprised to see how drawn the boy looked. Drawn and worried and...scared. Well, that was understandable. If, at eighteen, Dillon had found himself in the predicament Aidan now found himself in, he’d have been scared out of his mind. And even though Aidan wasn’t a sports star and looking at a full scholarship as Dillon had been, he was an intelligent young man with a bright future ahead of him. A future that didn’t include being a father before his life even got started.
“I think we need to talk,” Dillon said quietly.
“I’m tired. I just want to go to bed.”
“I’m sure you do, but we still need to talk.”
Aidan started to protest, but Dillon cut him off. “I know what Joy told you tonight. Her sister came over to fill me in.”
Aidan’s face reddened. “I don’t need a lecture.”
“That’s not what I intended. I just want to talk to you. We need to decide what to do.”
“We don’t need to do anything!”
Normally when Aidan gave him lip, Dillon got mad. Tonight all he felt was sadness. “C’mon, Aidan. Cut me a break, would you? Whether you believe it or not, I care about you. I know you’re upset and you don’t know what to do. So let’s sit down and calmly go over your options. I can help you.”
Tears sprang into Aidan’s eyes, which surprised Dillon. He quickly turned away, but not quickly enough. “You don’t care,” he mumbled.
Was that what Aidan thought? Dillon put his arm around Aidan’s shoulders. Through the stiffness, he could feel the boy trembling. “I do care,” he said softly. “You’re my brother’s son. I love you.”
Aidan swallowed, and even though Dillon could see how he was struggling not to, he began to cry.
“C’mon, let’s go out to the kitchen. Want...some hot chocolate?” He’d been about to offer the kid a beer, then realized that wasn’t a smart thing to do. More to the point, it wasn’t legal. Fishing in his jean’s pocket, Dillon pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to the boy.
Aidan blew his nose, and although he didn’t say anything, he did follow Dillon to the kitchen. While Aidan composed himself, Dillon brewed a cup of hot chocolate for his nephew, then took a fresh beer out of the fridge for himself.
“So, what did Ms. Marlowe have to say?” Aidan said, calm now. “She think I’m scum?”
Dillon shook his head. “No, but she’s upset and concerned. How do you feel?
“How do you think I feel? I feel stupid.”
“Didn’t you think about using condoms or something?”
“We did use condoms. It was only one time we didn’t.” Aidan shook his head. “I can’t believe that I made just one stupid mistake, and now she’s pregnant!”
“It wasn’t just your mistake,” Dillon pointed out. “It takes two, y’know.”
Aidan sighed heavily. “It was my fault,” he mumbled.
“It doesn’t really matter whose fault it is, does it? What’s done is done. Now the question is what to do about it.”
Aidan nodded.
“So, did the two of you talk about that tonight?”
Aidan shrugged. “Yeah, some. Joy said she thinks the best thing would be for her to go away and have the baby, then give it up for adoption.”
“And what do you think?”
“I don’t know. I guess that’s best.” Aidan grimaced. “I don’t really want her to go away, but I can’t be a father.”
“Did Joy suggest you should be?”
“No. She...I don’t think she wants to be a mother, either. I mean, she plans to go away to school, too.”
“Well, then...I guess you two have decided.”
“But...”
“But what?”
“Where will she go? She...she didn’t seem to know. And who’s gonna pay for her to live somewhere else and have a baby? I don’t have any money. Just my college trust fund, and you said it could only be used for college.”
That wasn’t technically true. Dillon had said that, but only because he didn’t want Aidan to think he could go out and buy an expensive sports car or go off to Vegas or something. Aidan’s trust fund had been set up through his parents’ wills, but Dillon was its trustee and he’d considered it his duty to make sure the money left to Aidan was spent wisely so that he would still have a considerable sum left even after finishing college.
“Money won’t be a problem,” Dillon said carefully. “If that’s what the two of you want, then it can be arranged.”
“Are...are you sure?”
Dillon almost smiled at the relief in Aidan’s eyes. Reaching across the table, he grasped his nephew’s hand. “I’m sure.”
“But what about Ms. Marlowe? Do you think she’ll want Joy to go somewhere else?”
“I think she’ll want whatever is best for Joy.”
“Yeah, I guess. But...”
“But what?”
“I—I... I don’t know what I’ll do if Joy goes away.”
With that admission, Dillon knew just how miserable and lonely and lost his nephew felt. Just how hard the past months had been for him. Dillon had thought he understood. After all, his parents had both been gone by the time Dillon turned thirty. But Aidan was only eighteen. He’d lost his dad when he was thirteen. And his mother at seventeen. Plus, he’d lost his home and all his friends and everything familiar in his life. He’d been forced to live with an uncle to whom he’d never been close. Move to a new town where he knew no one.
No wonder he’d turned to Joy.
“We’ll figure it out,” Dillon said gently.
But even as Aidan nodded agreement, his eyes remained bleak.
After his nephew had gone up to bed, Dillon remained downstairs. Jeez, Dillon thought, it was hard to grow up. And it was especially hard when you did something that had such serious and far-reaching consequences.
* * *
Sophie did not want to get up and face the day. It would have been bad enough if all she’d had to deal with was Joy’s problem, but now she also had to think about the consequences of her own actions last night.
Why had she so been so quick to jump in the sack with Dillon? Okay, so she was upset and he’d comforted her. But sex? Hadn’t she learned anything from their past? Dillon did not have the stick-to-it gene. He was used to taking what he wanted and making a quick exit when he was finished. And she was not that kind of woman. She couldn’t have casual sex and then forget about it. She wanted something meaningful. Something lasting.
You are so stupid.
Sophie sighed deeply. Well, there was no law that said she had to continue to be stupid, was there? She’d made a mistake, but she didn’t have to repeat it.
And yet, even as she vowed to be stronger in the future, she couldn’t help remembering just how wonderful the sex between her and Dillon had been. Even thinking about it made her want him again. God, she was a mess. Beth would laugh her fool head off if she knew. But she wouldn’t know. No one could know. Because Sophie wasn’t going to do anything even remotely similar again. Last night was an aberration. She’d been upset and Dillon had taken advantage of that.
But was that assessment fair? If Sophie was being honest, totally honest, she knew it wasn’t. She had wanted what Dillon was offering and she’d given him no resistance at all. In fact, she’d practically invited him to make love to her. The moment he put his arms around her, she’d been like a ripe peach, ready and willing for him to take a bite.
That thought made her chuckle. Now she was even thinking in bad metaphors. Telling herself she’d better stop thinking and start getting ready for her day, she finished packing herself a lunch, found her tote bag, called a goodbye to Joy and left the house with five minutes to spare.
* * *
Joy heard the slam of the front door, which meant Sophie had left for the day. Burying her head back under the covers, Joy decided she would stay in bed for a while longer. She blessed Sophie for saying she could skip school today. There was no way she’d have been able to face Megan or her other friends or her teachers. Now that she knew her condition, it felt as if all anyone had to do was look at her and they’d know, too.
On one level Joy knew this was ridiculous. No one could possibly know. Yet no matter how many times she told herself this, she didn’t totally believe it. She probably had such a guilty look on her face that they’d guess. How long would it take for them to notice her weight gain? She’d wonder what they’d all think when she suddenly moved away. Would they guess then?
And Megan. What would Megan think? Should she tell her? She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to tell anyone.
Last night Sophie had said that tonight she would call Mandy, their cousin, the daughter of their mother’s older sister. Mandy lived in Los Angeles and worked for a big advertising agency, and Joy had always liked her a lot. In fact, she’d spent her last two spring breaks visiting Mandy. Mandy was twenty-six and really, really cool. Sophie said she thought Mandy would agree to having Joy come and spend the rest of her pregnancy in LA. Mandy had once suggested that when Joy turned eighteen she might spend summers interning at Mandy’s agency. Perhaps that internship was still an option.
Part of Joy felt nothing but relief at the thought of living with Mandy. But the other part, the part that loved Aidan so much, felt sick at heart. How would she bear being so far away from him? Yet when she told him her idea of going away to have their baby, he hadn’t said a word in protest. Remembering the flare of hope on his face made tears spring to her eyes.
He’d been glad! He didn’t care that she might go away. That possibly they wouldn’t see each other again. That their baby, the one they’d made together, would go to some stranger.
For the rest of the morning, Joy cried out her desolation and disappointment. But by the time Sophie returned home that afternoon, Joy was resigned.
What was done was done.
And if going away for the rest of the school year and giving away her baby was the price she would have to pay for her sins, she had no right to complain.
* * *
Dillon knew he couldn’t talk to Sophie at school, so he waited until he got home before calling her. “I talked to Aidan last night.”
“And?”
“And he said he and Joy had discussed her going away, having the baby and giving it up for adoption. He said that’s what she wanted to do.”
“Yes, both she and I have decided that’s the best solution.”
“He’s worried about where she’ll go, though. And he and I both wanted you to know we’ll pay all of her expenses.”
“That’s generous of you, Dillon. There won’t be a lot. I plan to ask my cousin in LA to let Joy stay with her until after the baby comes.”
“What’ll you tell people?”
“That she has an opportunity to join a work/study program for artists sponsored by UCLA and it’ll give her a tremendous heads-up for college. I’ll hint that she will probably stay out there permanently.”
“You’ve really thought about this, huh?” For some reason, Sophie’s reasonableness bothered him. Shouldn’t she be more upset? Hell, he was.
“I’ve thought about nothing else for most of the night.”
He’d thought about nothing but her for most of the night. But immediately Dillon was ashamed of himself...and the thought. There were much more pressing issues at hand. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “Sophie, once this is settled, I want to see you again.”
“I don’t think this is the right time to talk about that,” she answered stiffly.
Oh, hell. He shouldn’t have said that. What was wrong with him? He sounded insensitive. “I know. I just...I wanted you to know how I feel.”
“I’d better go. I want to call Mandy. Get everything settled.”
“Will you let me know if everything’s okay after you talk to her?”
“I don’t think—” Abruptly, she stopped. “All right. Sure.”
“Thanks.”
After they hung up, Dillon thought about the conversation for a long time before heading toward the kitchen, where he planned to make a pot of chili for his and Aidan’s dinner. He guessed there was no reason for him to feel disappointed by Sophie’s less-than-enthusiastic reaction to his declaration. She’d been right. He’d picked a bad time to tell her how he felt. All she cared about right now was making sure everything was set up for Joy and the baby.
Time enough to think about the direction he and Sophie might be headed. Besides, why had he said anything to her when he’d already decided it would probably be best not to see her again at all?
Because you’re thinking with the wrong part of your anatomy, that’s why. From now on, use your brain.
* * *
“Oh, Sophie, I would’ve liked nothing better, but it’ll be impossible for Joy to come out here to stay with me. My company is sending me to Europe for the next eight or nine months, maybe longer.”
Sophie wanted to cry. “Really? When did this happen?”
“Just yesterday. In fact, I had you on the top of my list to call.”
“Wh-what will you do in Europe? I didn’t think you had an office there.”
“We don’t. That’s the point. But if we’re going to compete in the international marketplace, we need to have one. That’s going to be my responsibility. Open an office in London, and then—if all goes well—they mentioned possibly sending me to Sydney after that.”
Even over the long-distance connection, Sophie heard the pride in he
r cousin’s voice. “Oh, Mandy, that’s really wonderful.”
“Yes, I know. I’m so excited. But I’m also so sorry. Poor Joy. She must be terribly upset.”
“She is.” And she’ll be even more upset now. But Sophie knew none of this was Mandy’s fault, so she made sure she sounded as upbeat as possible when she answered, “But I don’t want you to worry about it. This isn’t your problem. And you have a tremendous opportunity ahead of you.” Sophie couldn’t help feeling a bit envious. She’d always wanted to travel, had in fact made a start the summer before Joy had come to live with her by spending two weeks in Spain. Since then, though, she’d put her travel plans on hold until Joy went off to college.
“Thanks,” Mandy said. The happiness in her voice was unmistakable. “I—I have something else to tell you, too.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve met someone.”
Sophie couldn’t help smiling. “That’s wonderful. Who is he?”
“He’s someone new here. He manages the IT department. His name is Jake Fleming.” She paused for a moment. “Oh, Sophie, he’s wonderful.”
“How’s that going to work...with you in Europe...and him in LA?”
“I don’t know, but he wants it to work as much as I do, so we’ll figure something out. We can always do long weekends.”
Mandy sounded so happy that Sophie didn’t want to throw cold water on her optimistic plans. But long-distance relationships were tough to maintain. Still, if Mandy and her new man wanted it badly enough, they’d work it out.
The two cousins talked awhile longer; then Sophie regretfully said goodbye.
“She said no, didn’t she?” Joy said when Sophie rejoined her in the living room where Joy was eating Cheetos, watching a rerun of Modern Family and halfheartedly doing her Spanish homework.
Sophie nodded and explained what Mandy had told her.
“What am I going to do now?” Joy said.
“I don’t know.” Sophie had been frantically trying to think of someone else, somewhere else Joy could go. But there was nowhere else. Mandy’s mother—Joy and Sophie’s aunt Laureen—lived in Tucson, but she suffered from a form of Parkinson’s and lived in a fifty-five-and-over assisted-living community. She couldn’t possibly take Joy. And Joy’s only other relative was her father’s younger brother, but he was single and worked for an oil company and traveled all over the world.
