Never Again

by Lilliana Anderson

  “Bran!” I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck.

  “Happy birthday, baby.” His arms engulfed me as he kissed me with abandon, putting on quite a display.

  “My God, you two. Get a room. I feel like I’m watching something smutty.” Olivia was waving her hand at her face when we broke apart then mouthed to me ‘so hot’ when Bran turned around to grab a spare chair.

  “How are you, Olivia?” he asked as he sat down.

  “A little warm right after that display,” she teased, taking a sip of her water.

  Bran chuckled then glanced at me, his eyes dropping to my neck. “Nice necklace,” he murmured, leaning close.

  “Thank you.” I blushed, pulling at it with my index finger. “My boyfriend gave it to me.”

  “He has great taste.”

  “He does actually,” Olivia put in. “It really suits you. Well done, Bran.” She smiled at him approvingly. “Do you want me to call the waiter over so you can get something to eat? My treat.”

  He shook his head. “No. I actually ate on campus after my exam. I have another one in about thirty minutes so I can’t stay long. I just wanted to come and wish the birthday girl a happy day.” Turning to me, he smiled then slipped his arm around the back of my chair, his thumb gently brushing back and forth against my shoulder. It made my stomach flip-flop like I was a teenager and the cutest boy in school just said hello to me.

  “Two in one day? That’s got to be hard,” Olivia said between mouthfuls.

  Bran shrugged. “I’m kind of glad to get them out of the way.”

  “Didn’t it make it hard to study?”

  He shook his head. “If I don’t know the material after taking classes for the last semester, then cramming at the last minute isn’t going to help me. I re-read all of my notes last night to refresh it all and that was it.”

  She narrowed her eyes a little. “I see, you’re one of those kids.”

  Bran laughed, seeming to understand what I did not. “Yes, I am.”

  “Who are those kids?” I asked.

  “The ones with excellent recall. They absorb and retain information without needing it repeated. That’s why he doesn’t really study, right?”

  Bran nodded. “That’s right.”

  That explained a lot. He always seemed to remember minor details about me, like he was the curator of the encyclopaedia of Cora Knowles or something.

  “So, what? You have a photographic memory?”

  He chuckled. “No. It’s nothing like that. It’s just that if I pay attention to something, I absorb it then and there. Like, when someone gives me their phone number, I don’t have to repeat it over and over to commit it to memory. I just remember it straight away.”

  “What are your grades like?” Olivia asked.

  “High distinctions, mostly.”

  “Mostly?”

  “I’ve ah, been a little distracted lately.” He grinned at me.

  “And what do you get when it isn’t a high distinction?”

  “A distinction.”

  My eyes grew huge. I’d never done that well at uni. I got more credits than I was willing to admit. I had to study really hard to be more than an average student.

  “A mind like that is quite a talent to have, Brandon. Especially in our field of expertise. I expect you’ll be vying for your father’s job before he’s even ready to retire.” By the smile on Olivia’s face, I knew Bran had impressed her. There were few people in this world who sparked her interest, and I was one of them. She loved finding uncut gems and turning them to precious stones. “I’ll tell you what, when you’re finished with your legal training, if you’re interested in working towards becoming a barrister, I’d love to have you on my team.”

  Bran pressed his lips together then smiled. “I thank you for the opportunity, but I’ll have to respectfully decline. I don’t plan on following in Adrian Sharp’s footsteps at all.”

  That was a surprise. I’d assumed a career at the OPP was the goal…

  Olivia tilted her head to the side, regarding him. “But your family has such a long history in the public services. Wasn’t your great grandfather the attorney general at one point?” Olivia seemed to know more about Bran’s history than I did. I also found it odd that he’d called his father by his given name.

  “That’s right.” Bran nodded.

  “Then don’t you want to continue that tradition? I mean, you’re doing the degree and getting the experience as if you are… Are you playing some sort of game here?” Olivia asked, never one to shy away from a direct question.

  “No games.” Bran grinned then checked his watch. “I should go.” He leaned close and pressed a kiss against the side of my head. “I’ll pick you up at seven. Enjoy your lunch, ladies.”

  “That boy is hiding something. I’d bet a whole case of wine on it,” Olivia said watching him walk away.

  I felt a sigh leave my chest as I watched him go. I wanted to disagree, but I’d been thinking the same. What was he hiding? And why?

  There was a lot more to Bran than met the eye.

  30

  There had been times over the past few months where I’d wondered who was the more mature out of Bran and me. He was always so calm and collected, and I was the one with the flushed cheeks and the stupid smile on my face. Getting ready for him to take me out for my birthday dinner was no different.

  I’d arrived home from work at six then rushed to the shower, stripping away my clothes and counting every second to being with him again. Somehow, I had become dependent on seeing him. My chest felt tight until that moment our eyes met and his smouldered. Then I could breathe.

  As I primped and preened, I knew it was crazy that I was feeling this way so soon after Jack. He’d shattered my heart and trust to pieces and I had basically run straight into the arms of another man. Bran had been a welcome distraction in the beginning. He’d made what could have been a very lonely time full of self-discovery as he provided an environment where I felt safe exploring the limits of my desires. While I hadn’t thought it would become what it was now, I was beyond glad that it had. He made me feel like I was getting the chance to start my life over again.

  When a knock sounded at the door, I rushed to push my heels on and answer, taking an extra moment to readjust the girls so my cleavage was nice and high.

  “Hello, lover,” I drawled, doing my best Carrie Bradshaw impersonation as I swung the door wide.

  Bran’s eyes zeroed in on my chest, and by the carnal look in his eyes, it was as if a lust cloud had descended upon his shoulders. “Oh baby, I don’t think we’re going out tonight. You look good enough to eat.” He gripped me around the waist, fingers pressing in as he pulled me against him while simultaneously walking us both through the doorway, kicking it closed behind him. He was already hard. So, so hard.

  “Tempting,” I breathed, seriously contemplating giving this whole dinner in public thing a miss, too. “But, I was looking forward to all the jealous stares when I stepped out with you tonight.” Plus, I’d gone to a lot of trouble to apply my makeup and do my hair, not to mention the drama I underwent choosing my dress then squeezing into it. No, this was going to last longer than the two minutes since he walked in the door.

  “All eyes will be on you. You look fucking gorgeous in that dress.” My dress was a deep purple and form-fitting, with wide shoulders and a low neckline. I felt sexy in it when I put it on, but I felt drop-dead gorgeous with his reaction to it.

  I laughed at his compliment, wondering if he had any idea just how good he looked in a suit. It was lady-kryptonite.

  “Then we’ll make quite a pair. Give me a second to grab my bag,” I said, stepping away from him.

  “We’re getting dessert to go, by the way. I’m going to feed it to you naked after you’ve wrapped those shiny red lips of yours around my cock.”

  I stopped and looked at him over my shoulder, grinning. This man really enjoyed his sweets. “I thought it was my birthday.”

/>   “You love deep-throating my cock and you know it,” he teased, his mouth kicking up at the side.

  Running my tongue seductively over my lips, I made a tiny noise of pleasure. “Mmm, you’re right. I do.”

  He moaned. “Baby, I can’t be a gentleman if you do things like that.”

  “Since when have you been a gentleman?”

  “You’re right, I’m not.” Taking two strides, his mouth crashed against mine, hands gripping skin and searching for the zip on my dress. Like a human battering ram, he forced me backwards, using his body to guide me until the backs of my legs hit the foot of my bed. I felt the material loosen around my torso then, with a swift pull, my dress was a puddle of satiny material on the floor.

  “On your back,” he commanded, his hand pressing against my chest before he pushed, and I fell back.

  Laughing as my body bounced, and Bran landed on top of me, I grabbed his thick hair, my fingers caressing his scalp, calming the fire just a touch. “We’re going to miss our reservation,” I whispered, pulling gently so his lips aligned with mine.

  “It’ll keep.” His tongue slid across the seam of my lips. “I need my entrée. Now.”

  “I’m just one big buffet to you.” I laughed.

  “And I’ll never be full.” Humming contentedly as his hands roamed my body, teasing and squeezing, I gave up the fight and surrendered to his magnificent touch, glad that when he touched me, it was as my boyfriend and not my dirty little secret.

  Twenty minutes later I was standing in front of the mirror reapplying my lipstick while Bran took a very long time fastening the zipper on my dress, his fingers caressing my skin while his beguiling eyes focused on my lipstick application.

  “The red suits you,” he said, running his fingers down the length of my hair. He wound it around his hand and held it against the nape of my neck, his mouth close to my ear. “Red lips, high heels and your hair up tight—sexy as fuck.”

  “You sure you don’t want me to wear a pair of spectacles as well? Complete the whole librarian fantasy for you?”

  He released my hair and I felt it tumble down and loosen before sweeping across my back. “I wouldn’t say no, but it’s not librarians I’m into.” Both of his hands slapped against my arse cheeks and squeezed. “I’m into curvy brunettes. One very particular curvy brunette.” He squeezed a little tighter and I gasped. “Finish getting ready.” He relaxed his grip and gently palmed my arse instead. “I’ll call the restaurant.”

  I nodded, my eyes shining as I looked at him via the mirror. He was so beautiful, so intense. It was hard to believe he was so young. It was even harder to imagine how I was lucky enough that he was all mine.

  When he left the room, I finished up then pressed my lips together, sighing contentedly. I couldn’t remember a time when my birthday had been this wonderful.

  31

  “You’re freaking out, aren’t you?” Bran looked amused as he cut off a mouthful of steak, and slipped it past his lips. I could see the muscles in his jaw working as he chewed, grinning at me from his seat in the crowded San Telmo steakhouse. Walking through the door was like stepping from the streets of Melbourne and into Buenos Aires, with meat dry-ageing behind glass at the entrance, and a massive open kitchen complete with a dangerous-looking coal pit in the middle. It was a spectacular place, and for a woman who loved steak almost as much as she loved chocolate, it was the perfect choice for a birthday meal.

  “I’m not freaking out. I just feel like people are looking at us,” I replied, glancing around the restaurant.

  “Of course they’re looking. You know how gorgeous you look tonight.”

  His comment made me smile. “That’s not why they’re looking and you know it.”

  “Do I?” One of his eyes narrowed slightly, and I knew he was going to make me voice my concerns out loud. I also knew he’d think I was being ridiculous. It was times like these I wish I had Olivia’s confidence.

  “It’s obvious that I’m way older than you.”

  “No. It’s obvious that that guy over there is way older than his date.” I followed his gaze, noting that the couple he indicated could have been easily mistaken for father and daughter if it wasn’t for the fact they were holding hands across the table. “You are being paranoid.” He cut off some more eye fillet and held it out to me. “Just relax and enjoy yourself, the same way you did in the Gold Coast.”

  I took the morsel from his fork, the meat melting in my mouth as I chewed. My taste buds sang.

  “It was different up there. No one knew us. Here, we’re so used to sneaking around that it feels…I don’t know, risky.”

  “Isn’t this what we both agreed? Fuck the risks?”

  I nodded. “It is, and I’m not getting cold feet, I’m just nervous about the repercussions and how this is going to work—how we’ll be perceived. You have to admit that our situation is a little unusual. That over there”—I looked toward the couple he’d pointed out—“is somewhat normal. Turn the tables and it becomes a whole new thing. I mean, what happens when I’m fifty and I look it, and you’re only forty and barely have creases around your eyes?”

  He grinned.

  “Why is that so funny?”

  “I love that you’re thinking long-term, baby.”

  “Well, I have to. I’m thirty now. This is the decade when young becomes old. When I start finding grey hairs and develop crow’s feet, not to mention my fertility will take a dive. You’re just at the beginning of your adulthood. And besides, ageing is different for men.”

  “I seriously don’t give a fuck about any of that. I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks or feels when they look at us. I like you exactly as you are, and all I see when I look at you is the woman I love.”

  With the air stolen from my lungs, I stared at him, wide-eyed and blinking while I let his words sink in.

  “You love me?”

  He kept eating and nodded like it was any other conversation. “Yep.” When he swallowed, he took a sip of wine and ran his tongue around his teeth.

  “Since when?”

  He shrugged. “Couple of months, I guess.”

  “You guess? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I knew you’d freak out like you are right now. But I figure you’re already freaking out over stupid shit, I might as well give you something real to add to it.”

  “Well…” My cheeks felt hot as I tried to find the right words to say. He loved me. My God, that felt wonderful. This thing between us had been building and building behind the scenes, making it so we’d become the biggest priority in each other’s lives. I even placed him above my career, and that was huge for me. But I was afraid of being hurt again, scared to embrace this new relationship when there was so much still to learn and sort through.

  “Don’t say it back,” he said, his eyes growing serious. “Say it when you feel it, not as a response to me.”

  Knitting my brow, I nodded then piled food on my fork to fill my mouth so I didn’t speak. Suddenly my mind was filled with every unspoken detail about me, things I should have told him way before the L word happened. Perhaps waiting until after his exams were over wasn’t soon enough.

  “Listen,” he started, reaching across the table and covering my hand. “I get that you’re worried about your job, and you’re worried about our age difference and both of us wanting kids. And you’re worried what all of it means now that we’re making this relationship public knowledge. But I want you to know that I’m all in. I have never wanted a woman the way I want you. In the time we’ve been together, my feelings have done nothing but intensify. I need you in my life, Cora. All that other shit is just semantics to me.”

  With emotion pushing at my eyes I let out my breath. “Jesus, Bran. I love you too,” I started, preparing myself to clear the air.

  “You weren’t supposed to say it yet.” But he was smiling.

  “Well, I wanted to. It’s how I feel. However, I also feel there’s still so much we need to talk ab
out. Before we get any deeper.”

  He lifted my hand and pressed his lips to my knuckles. “It’s too late, I’m centre-of-the-earth deep with you, baby.”

  My heart filled with the conviction in his words, and the honesty shining in his eyes. I wanted to be all in with him too. But I felt as though I was straddling two worlds. It felt so wrong to hide it from him now.

  “There’s something I need to tell you,” I began, although only the first half of the sentence could be heard as the staff converged on our table, carrying a cake and singing happy birthday. “No, stop. I really need to say something.” My words got lost in the sound as the entire restaurant joined in. Bran pulled out his phone to film the whole thing, and all I could do was laugh then look at Bran and smile.

  “I love you. So much,” I mouthed. I was ridiculously happy because of the effort this beautiful man had put in to make my night a special one, even though I simultaneously hated that our conversation had to wait. A few months ago, I thought I’d be commiserating my milestone, feeling hopeless and very alone. Yet here I was, in love with a man who not only said I was his world, but acted that way too. I felt truly blessed.

  32

  “Leave the necklace on,” Bran whispered, leaning against the doorway to my bedroom as I sat on the edge of the bed removing my earrings. The room was lit with soft lamplight, casting a gentle glow over his features.

  “And the shoes?” I extended my leg to show him the electric-blue pumps he’d mentioned earlier.

  “Fuck yeah. Those are staying on too.”

  “The hair?”

  “Tie it up.”

  I smiled, twisting my locks into a bun. “And the rest?”

  “Take it off, or I’ll tear it off.”

  “Well then,” I said, as I stood and reached my hand up the centre of my back, pulling at the zip to put on a bit of a show for him. “I suppose I’d better comply.” Except the zipper stalled halfway and wouldn’t budge. “Shit.” I tugged and pulled, then looked over my shoulder at him, laughing. “I think I’m going to need a little help.”

  Coming up behind me, I felt his warm breath wash over the back of my neck as his fingers stroked against my skin before he grabbed the zip and pulled. “It’s stuck.”