The Things I Do for You (The Alexanders)

by Malone, M.

  She’d always loved Steven’s voice, perfectly smooth and well-modulated. At thirty-four, he was just so much more mature than the other guys she’d dated.

  “I’m sure you were exhausted. I know you’re working really hard on this deal. I just missed hearing your voice, that’s all.”

  There was an awkward pause as if he didn’t know how to respond.

  “Well, I’ve missed you, too. I’m flying back in tomorrow. Let me have the honor of taking you to dinner. You pick the place. We haven’t had time to really talk in a while. There’s been a lot going on.”

  Raina smiled. Typical Steven. Even when they were just talking on the phone, he was always so formal. “Of course we can have dinner. I have a lot to tell you, too. I think you’re going to be excited when you hear my news.”

  He knew she was trying to work out a deal for her own reality show and had already agreed to allow himself to be filmed for a certain number of episodes after they were married. He’d even given her pointers on negotiating with the network.

  Steven was truly her perfect complement. Someone calm and steady to keep her focused on what was really important. He never raised his voice or lost his temper.

  She thought of her last conversation with Nick. Calm and steady were not the adjectives that came to mind. She’d probably used every four-letter word in the English language during that conversation.

  She looked up and saw her sister standing in the doorway of Jackson’s house. “Oh, I have to go. I’m meeting Ridley for lunch.”

  “That’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow. Just text me the time and place and I’ll meet you at the restaurant.” He paused for a moment and then said, “I’m glad things seem to be going well for you, Raina. I want you to be happy.”

  She frowned as the call disconnected. She enjoyed spending time with Steven, but she couldn’t help wishing he wasn’t always so… stuffy. He’d been so busy working on his latest acquisition deal that she’d barely seen him over the last month. He was flying back and forth to New York several times a week and holed up in his office the rest of the time.

  Raina considered herself a completely modern, enlightened woman and wasn’t even slightly ashamed of her healthy sex drive. Which was why it was a shame that she didn’t really miss the sex when Steven was traveling. They’d never been overly demonstrative with each other and to be honest, their sex life was much like the rest of their interaction. Calm, steady, and mature.

  Boring.

  Steven was simply too cultured to get worked up about much of anything other than business.

  It probably didn’t help that she’d met him right after the most intense sexual experience of her life. No, don’t think about Nick. She refused to believe that one night with Nicholas Alexander had ruined her for all other men.

  Besides, sex isn’t everything, she thought, feeling slightly disloyal. Steven wasn’t the most exciting man, perhaps, but he knew what was important. He’d never hurt or embarrass her, at least. He’d be a steady father figure for the three children they planned to have.

  She pushed open the car door just as Ridley noticed her.

  “Raina! You’re here.” Ridley stepped onto the porch and set the oversized pot of flowers she was carrying down on the step. “Come on, I’ve just finished cooking.”

  When Ridley had invited her over for lunch the prior day, she’d agreed before she remembered her doctor’s appointment scheduled for ten o’clock. If she’d been thinking clearly, she would have rescheduled lunch.

  The last thing she needed after hearing that her chances of having a baby were getting worse every day was to watch her sister and Jackson coo at each other.

  CHAPTER TWO

  RAINA LOCKED THE car and watched her sister stroke the blooms on the potted plant like she was petting a dog. For as long as she could remember, her sister had loved flowers. Personally, she could barely tell a daisy from a sunflower, but Ri had an exhaustive memory for the different types and how to care for them. Since she’d moved into Jackson’s house, his yard had been completely redone, the walk leading to the front steps taking each visitor through an array of colors and scents.

  Raina took a deep breath of the fragrant air as she passed the clusters of flowers lining the walkway. Ridley pulled her into a quick hug. “I hope pasta is okay. I didn’t feel up to much else.”

  Instantly, Raina was on alert. “Are you feeling okay? Is your scar giving you trouble?”

  Just a month ago, Ridley had been held at gunpoint and shot by a stalker. Every time she thought about it, Raina experienced a surge of helplessness. Nothing would ever erase the raw fear she’d felt when she’d gotten the call that her sister was in the hospital. Especially since the call had come from Nick. What if she hadn’t answered? It had been a sober reminder that their feud affected more than just the two of them.

  “I’m doing my physical therapy and of course, Jackson won’t let me do anything. I’m still pretty tired. Once I’m able to move around more, I think I’ll feel better.”

  Raina followed Ridley into the house, noting all the changes her sister had made in recent weeks. Under different circumstances she’d probably tease her about playing house with a guy she’d just met. But even someone as cynical as she was could appreciate that Jackson was truly in love with her sister. You could practically see the hearts and flowers circling the guy’s head when he looked at her.

  If it wasn’t so damn sweet it would be nauseating.

  “So, what have you been up to? Besides being waited on hand and foot by your hot fiancé,” Raina teased.

  Ridley looked uncomfortable and then said, “I met our father.”

  Raina’s mood immediately soured. “Oh. So, what are we having for lunch? I’m starving.”

  “That’s all you have to say? ‘What’s for lunch?’ Don’t you want to know what happened?”

  “Not really. I understand that you’re curious about him, but I don’t particularly need to hear excuses from some guy about why he abandoned his wife and two kids.”

  “There are two sides to every story, Raina. I just want the chance to get to know him. He was really worried when he heard I was injured.”

  Struggling to keep her voice even, Raina replied, “I’m sure it’s easier to worry now that we’re all grown up and don’t require any actual care. Now, I don’t want to talk about this. I want to enjoy the afternoon with my sister.” She smiled to hopefully take the sting out of her words.

  “Fine. I made spaghetti. I hope that’s okay.” Ridley led her out to the back patio. The food was in a pretty white warming dish and there were colorful plates and cups already laid out. Raina dropped her purse next to one of the chairs and sat down.

  “That sounds delicious. If I was at home, it would be a microwave dinner, so I’m hardly going to complain.”

  Despite how successful she’d become in recent years, Raina was wary of hiring help. She had enough people making up stories about her as it was. The last thing she needed was a tabloid tell-all from a chef or driver. Jackson had recommended a trustworthy maid service but other than that, she did things herself. And by doing things herself, she meant ordering takeout.

  It was just one more thing she’d have to get used to changing in her life. Once filming started for the remaining episodes of her show, her well-guarded private time would be a thing of the past.

  Ridley bustled around the table, filling her drinking glass with iced tea and spooning the pasta into their bowls. As she passed Raina’s chair, her foot accidentally bumped against the handbag sitting on the floor, knocking it over. Several colorful brochures spilled out of the top along with Raina’s cell phone and keys.

  “What are these?”

  Before Raina could react, Ridley picked up one of the pamphlets and flipped it open. Her forehead furrowed as she started reading. “Raina, what is this?”

  “It’s just some stuff the doctor gave me.” Raina scooped them up and dropped them back in her handbag. Awkward silence descended o
n the table. Raina glanced at Ridley and was shocked to see tears in her eyes.

  “Ri, what is it? Are you in pain?” She pushed away from the table and knelt next to her sister. It was an old habit, but she’d always thought of herself as Ri’s protector. Not because she was a scant three minutes older, but because her sister had always seemed so fragile. Easily hurt. She believed the best of people and Raina wanted her to be free to keep thinking that way. Even though she knew it was crap.

  Ridley shook her head. “You’re thinking about having in vitro and you didn’t even tell me?”

  “No, no. Ri, the doctor just gave me that stuff today. I was going to tell you all about it.”

  Ridley sniffled. “Really?”

  “Yeah, I wasn’t hiding it. I promise.”

  She got up and sat in her seat. She twirled her fork in her spaghetti absently. “Remember how I told you a few years ago that I was diagnosed with endometriosis?”

  Ridley nodded. “Yeah, I remember. The doctors thought you might have trouble conceiving one day.” She looked up sharply.

  “Apparently I’m already running out of time.” Raina looked down at the swirl of noodles on her plate. “The doctor said things have gotten worse. We’ll be twenty-five soon, so I don’t have the luxury of taking my time. That’s why he gave me the brochures about egg harvesting and about surrogacy. He just wants me to be informed.”

  “Does Steven… I mean, does he have issues?” Ridley blushed and looked down at her food. “Sorry. That was really nosy. Don’t answer that.”

  “It’s okay,” Raina replied. “You can ask me anything. We’ve never had secrets. Plus, I’m not really sure. We haven’t talked about it.”

  Ridley dropped her fork and glared at her. “How can you not have talked about it? How can you marry someone that you don’t even talk to?”

  “Shhhh! Not so loud.” Raina glanced around, satisfied when she saw that the yard was empty. Jackson’s two sons were usually nearby and she knew that tiny ears heard everything. “I didn’t say we don’t talk, just that we haven’t talked about that yet. He’ll be back from New York tomorrow and he already agreed to start trying early if things got worse, instead of waiting until after the wedding.”

  “The wedding is only two months away,” Ridley groused.

  “Exactly. Close enough that it won’t matter if I’m pregnant since I won’t be showing yet. This isn’t the 1950s, so it’s not like I’ll be shunned because I’m not a virgin on my wedding night.” She snorted at the thought.

  Even Ridley laughed at that. “It’s about a decade too late to worry about your virtue, huh?”

  “Not a decade,” she cried. She swatted at Ridley with her napkin. “Anyway, I have no reason to believe that Steven can’t father children. I refuse to believe the universe is cruel enough to give both of us fertility issues and I don’t want him to undergo a lot of poking and prodding if he doesn’t have to.”

  Ridley was smiling now, but she still didn’t look mollified. “I’m not worried about Steven being uncomfortable. I’m worried about you.”

  Raina reached across the table and grabbed her sister’s hand. “I know you don’t approve, but I really need your support on this. Steven and I get each other. We may not have the typical relationship, but we want the same things. Financial security, stability, and a family. Plenty of people have gotten married with less in common than that.”

  “I still don’t like it. He hasn’t even had time in his oh-so-busy schedule to come over and meet me. You deserve a man who loves you. Every guy isn’t like Brian.”

  Raina pulled her hand back. “I know that.”

  “Do you? I want so much more for you. I want you to find what I have with Jackson.”

  Raina ignored the disapproving look on her sister’s face. “Don’t give me that look. Everyone isn’t lucky enough to be in twu-wuv like you two lovebirds.”

  Ridley took another bite of spaghetti. “Um hmm. Well, I hope you know that you don’t need a surrogate or an egg donor, anyway. You know I’d do it if you needed me to.”

  “I have a feeling that you’ll be busy having your own babies in the very near future. If you aren’t pregnant already.”

  “What? I am not pregnant,” she whispered. “Why are you saying that? Do I look like I’ve gained weight?” Tears immediately sprang to her eyes.

  “For starters, you’re usually a watering pot but even you aren’t this weepy.” Raina reached across the table and brushed Ridley’s tears away. “Plus, your boobs are huge. I’m so jealous.”

  Ridley’s eyes widened before she burst out laughing.

  “It looks like we’re missing the fun.”

  Raina froze and then turned slowly. Jackson and Nick stood in the doorway, watching them. As usual, Nick looked GQ-fine in a suit and tie with his dark, curly hair slicked back. His golden-brown skin tone was slightly lighter, as if he’d been holed up in his office instead of outside in the sun. He was quite a contrast to Jackson, who looked like an advertisement for some kind of Caribbean drink in a casual Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts, his skin gleaming a deep bronze.

  Jackson, as usual, made a beeline for Ridley. He picked her up and then sat down in her chair with her in his lap.

  “What are you girls out here talking about?”

  Ridley giggled and settled back into his embrace. “Just girl talk.” She looked up at Nick. “I didn’t realize you were here already, Nick. Are you hungry? I made plenty.”

  He smiled indulgently at her and shook his head. “I already ate, but thanks.”

  His eyes came to rest on Raina and she suppressed a shiver. “Hi, Raina.”

  “Hi.” When she couldn’t think of anything else to say, she turned back to Ridley. “I’ll get started cleaning up before I go.” She jumped up and pushed her chair under the table. Nick moved back so she could walk past him.

  “You don’t have to do that. It’s not much,” Ridley protested.

  “No, I want to,” she assured her. Boy, did she want to. “I’ll see you guys later.” She deliberately didn’t look at anyone in particular when she said it.

  Anything was better than sitting here awkwardly with the man who made her wish for impossible things.

  * * * * *

  NICK WATCHED RAINA until the back of her brightly patterned T-shirt disappeared behind the sliding glass door.

  You would think that months of forced interaction would have made it easier to be around her. But instead, it seemed even harder to breathe. Mainly because being around Jackson and Ridley made him more aware of everything he didn’t have.

  He sat in the chair Raina had vacated and stretched out his legs. When his foot hit something, he pushed back to see what it was and spied a paper pamphlet under the table near Ridley’s chair. He reached down to pick it up.

  Sperm donation?

  When he saw the title, he immediately shoved the brochure in the inner pocket of his suit jacket.

  He turned back to Jackson and Ridley and found them deep in whispered conversation. Although they were still high on the lovey-dovey scale, Jackson and Ridley seemed tenser than usual today. Could this be the reason? Were they having fertility problems? It made him sad to think that his brother hadn’t confided in him, but he could understand not wanting to talk about this kind of thing.

  He crossed his arms, feeling the sharp edge of the pamphlet beneath his jacket. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Ridley patted Jackson on the chest. “I’ll just go help Raina. She always insists on cleaning up when I cook, which is really sweet but she puts everything back in the wrong places.”

  “No, Ridley, I actually wanted you to stay.”

  Her mouth fell open into a little “oh” of surprise. He tensed under her scrutiny. It wasn’t like he’d never talked to Ridley before. But, he supposed, it was rare for him to have an extended conversation with her. It was a little awkward after everything that happened when he’d thought she was Raina and kissed her. He hadn’t held anythin
g back in that wild exchange. His jaw ached at the memory.

  His brother hadn’t held anything back when he’d punched him afterward, either.

  “Of course I’ll stay,” Ridley finally said. “What did you want to talk to us about?”

  Nick couldn’t look her in the eye. It felt invasive, like he’d violated their privacy by seeing the brochure. But he couldn’t unsee it and what they needed to talk about was more important that any feelings of embarrassment this conversation was sure to bring.

  “Well, it’s pretty well-known that the Alexander men have… you know… no issues fathering kids.” Nick wouldn’t have thought it possible, but he blushed for the first time in two decades.

  “Um, I guess so,” Jackson replied. “I mean, there’s four of us and then, well I guess Auntie Maria’s kids don’t count in this case, but Uncle Stewart has six kids, right? Or he could have more by now and we wouldn’t even know. I wish he and Dad would let their feud go. It’s ridiculous that they’re still at odds for something that happened years ago. In fact—”

  “Jackson, focus.” Nick clapped his hands. “I’m trying to talk to you about something serious.”

  Jackson frowned. “Okay. Let’s take a little walk. You know you can talk to me about anything.”

  They stepped down off the patio into the yard. Nick pushed one of Jase’s tricycles to the side with his foot.

  “Well, I know that. But I want to make sure that you know you can talk to me about anything. Ridley, you’re family now and I’d do anything to help you, too. Even if it’s weird to ask or awkward to talk about. I know reproductive stuff is not exactly dinner conversation, but if you guys are thinking about having more kids and are having trouble, I hope you know that you can ask me for help. I’d literally give the shirt off my back for any of my brothers, so what’s a little DNA on the side, right?” He laughed weakly at his own joke.

  “Nick, what are you saying?” Ridley asked gently.

  Nick’s heart stuttered to a stop. He supposed he wasn’t being too clear but hell, did he have to spell it out? Dammit, what if they thought he was trying to hit on Ridley in a weird way? He had kissed her once and even though it was a case of mistaken identity, he knew his brother hadn’t forgotten. He didn’t want to just flat-out offer to impregnate his brother’s future wife, but what was the alternative? It wasn’t like there was a proper way to offer stud services.