The One That I Want (Scorned Women Society Book 3)

by Piper Sheldon

  “I’ll be right back,” I said. When I stood, the floor slid sideways and I had to grip the table.

  I felt Gretchen eye me as I made my way to the bathroom. I was tired of holding on so tight.

  I needed some air.

  Sanders

  Well, I screwed up.

  Roxy’s smile when I walked into Genie’s made me soar. She was beautiful with her hair flowing around her, the artistic flowers and designs on her arms fully on display. Her long legs went for days in short shorts. She looked more relaxed that I’d seen her since Denver. She looked … happy to see me. Until she saw Skip. Her gaze shuttered and her smile became the fake one she used at the Lodge. I had completely misread the invitation. I wished I could go back in time and understand that this was Roxy’s attempt to connect.

  No, that was a lie. I knew. I was just scared. I didn’t want to show up alone and cross a line.

  I kept an eye on her as her friends chatted. Roxy kept tossing back drinks at a rate that surprised me. She had always tried to appear put together and professional around me and here she was getting hammered. Her lithe build didn’t seem equipped to handle the vodka at the rate she was drinking it. I wouldn’t be able to handle that much.

  “Roxy, here.” Suzie slid her a glass of water and a basket of fried pickles.

  Roxy didn’t say anything to her friend but did take a pickle and sipped the water. There was an aggression to her drinking that worried me. Like she was trying to prove a point. I wasn’t sure if it was aimed at Gretchen sitting at the other end of the table. They carefully avoided talking to each other in a nonverbal ballet that was almost impressive.

  They were a good group and under normal circumstances I felt like we would have all hit it off, but there was a weird tension in the air that made my skin itch. Even Jack and Skip kept arguing over every little thing. I’d never seen Skip like that. Skip was quiet not argumentative. Jack would say the sky was blue and Skip counter with, only during the day. Ford and Suzie were too lost in each other to notice. It was up to me to keep the jokes coming if only to get a single smile from Roxy.

  “I chucked a boomerang once. Not sure where it went but it’ll come back to me,” I said.

  Skip groaned and shook his head. Probably not the first time he’d heard that one. Despite my best attempts, Roxy seemed to slip further into a dark mood.

  To add to my mounting frustration, this biker at the bar kept looking at Roxy. He had a thick beard and a shaved head with a tattoo on his neck. He’d blatantly check out her legs, not even trying to hide it. I scooted closer to her and put my arm around the back of the chair. If he looked over here again, I would have to do something about it.

  I caught Skip watching the exchange. He shook his head and mouthed, “Calm down.” I shrugged, and brushed my thumb across the exposed skin of her shoulder.

  Roxy stood abruptly. “I’ll be right back.” Her words slurred.

  As she walked away, I caught the guy at the bar watching her. He was eating up her body like she owed him and it pissed me off.

  “I’ll just keep an eye on her,” Suzie said.

  The scumbag at the bar leaned back and looked as though he was going to follow her when Suzie quickly caught up. It occurred to me in that this was one of the reasons why women go in pairs to the bathroom. I always thought it was just so they could discuss the deepest secrets of their mysterious sex. But they obviously had a more practical application for avoiding men who were waiting for drunk “easy targets” to break off from their friends.

  I was going to kill him.

  Skip nudged me. “You’re glaring.”

  “He’s just staring at her. He needs to mind his own business.”

  Skip followed my gaze to the bar. He frowned. The brute at the bar couldn’t care less or didn’t notice us.

  “We’ll keep an eye on her,” Skip said.

  I nodded. But I couldn’t stop the growing irritation. Who was this guy? What right did he have to look at her like that? Then a sinking realization set in. Was I any better? I stared at her like she was the most amazing thing in the world because she was. But that didn’t mean he could. Roxy mine. Fire good. Sometimes it was hard to beat back the caveman.

  But no, it wasn’t the same. I wanted to see her flourish. I wanted her to be who she was. I wanted to be the person that brought her unending happiness. It wasn’t about conquering her for a night. Even that first night in Denver our interactions had never felt that small to me. It felt cosmic. Stars aligned. I would never treat her as something to be used and disposed of. She was everything.

  I gulped and looked down at my beer.

  “These girls can take care of themselves, trust me,” Jack said amicably. “Gretchen probably has a weapon hidden under the table even as we speak.”

  “I wasn’t saying that they couldn’t,” Skip said with quiet rage in his voice.

  Jack blinked at him. “I know that. I was just saying—”

  Suzie came back, her eyes were wide as they shot around the table. “She slipped out while I was ”—her gaze flicked to me and Skip—“using the facilities,” she finished.

  Not sure why she needed to sugarcoat it for us but then her words hit. I glanced to the bar. The guy was gone. My heart took off at an alarming rate.

  “That’s sort of her thing, isn’t it?” Gretchen said with sass but her gaze moved around the bar looking for Roxy, the corners of her eyes tight with tension.

  “I’m going after her,” I said as I stood. “Skippo, give me the rental, hey?” I reached for the keys.

  He nodded and handed them to me. “I’ll come with. Just let me close the tab—”

  “There’s no time.” I was already wasting too much time standing here as they discussed what they could do. “I got this,” I added looking at them all.

  Gretchen nodded and Suzie grabbed Ford’s hand, looking pale.

  “I can take him back to the Lodge,” Jack offered.

  Skip frowned but didn’t speak.

  “I don’t bite,” he added with a smile, not looking at my sulking best friend. I didn’t have time to figure out what that was all about.

  “Thanks, mate. Nice seeing you all again.”

  I ran out of the bar.

  In the gravel parking lot, the biker was just starting his bike. It rumbled through the air and shook my insides. A passenger with long brown hair sat on the back. I ran toward them with no plan. I was going to probably get killed but I didn’t care. There was no fucking way this guy was …

  Roxy wasn’t wearing jeans. Or a leather jacket. In fact, that hair wasn’t even the same shade of brown. They both turned toward me. Not Roxy.

  I stopped about five feet away and let go of a breath I didn’t know I had been holding.

  They both gave me an annoyed look before he spun out of the parking lot, kicking up gravel.

  “Did you think that was me?” Roxy’s voice caused me to turn around.

  She stepped out of the shadows from the side of the building, arms wrapped tight around her middle. Her lips were more pouty than usual.

  “I—I thought maybe that guy …”

  “I wouldn’t just go home with some stranger,” she said through ground teeth.

  “I didn’t think … I don’t know what I thought.” I shook my head and stepped closer to her. “I was just worried about you. I didn’t like how he looked at you.”

  Her arms dropped to her side and she took another step closer. In the light of the lamppost her eyes had little black smudges from her makeup underneath them. She looked tired and mournful, and swayed a little as she stood there. “Take me home?”

  I swallowed. “Of course.” I went to her side and slipped my arm around her middle. At first she stiffened, then she relaxed and put her head on my shoulder to let me guide her slowly to the rental.

  Once in the car, I bent forward to buckle her in. As I clicked the buckle into place, the heat from her body wrapped around me. She inhaled deeply. I pulled back slightly to st
udy her face. She blinked up at me slowly. Her gaze moved to my mouth.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  She shrugged and her bottom lip trembled. Then she shook her head, sucking in her lips.

  “Let me get you home, hey?”

  She nodded before I gently shook her fringe back in place. Her mouth pulled to the side in a sad half smile.

  We drove in silence as I followed the map on the car’s GPS through winding backroads to a small cluster of apartments just on the edge of town. Silence encased us as I put the car in park. Neither of us moved. The silence rang loud in my ears. I thought she might have fallen asleep, but when I looked to her, she was blinking out the window.

  “Why did you leave the bar?” I asked. “It’s like all I do is chase after you,” I admitted softly. I hadn’t meant to say that but I wanted an answer. I was confused and tired.

  She turned to face me. “Why did you bring Skip tonight?”

  “I-I wasn’t sure about … I was trying to respect the friend boundaries.”

  She nodded with a small smile. “I did think about going home with that guy. He would have been my type. Old Roxy would have.”

  I frowned. I hated the jealousy that burned me. A man like that wouldn’t know the gift they had in her.

  “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Sanders.”

  I waited a moment. “I’m trying to change that,” I said.

  She let out a small sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me your dad died?”

  I snapped to look at her. “I did,” I said slowly. Technically.

  “Skip told me it wasn’t even a month ago. Have you even had a funeral for him?”

  “It’s not exactly something I like to talk about.” I felt my temper changing. “He shouldn’t have told you.”

  “He didn’t mean to. It slipped out. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “When would I have told you? That night we first met? ‘Hi, my dad just died and I’m a complete fuckup.’ Not when we weren’t sharing details. Not when you looked at me like …”

  “Like what?” she asked softly.

  “Like I was something special,” I answered honestly.

  “You are special.”

  “Yeah, well, so are you.” I wasn’t sure why it came out so accusatory. “You’re a fucking miracle and yet you refuse to let anybody in.”

  “What?” She glared at me.

  “Tonight. This freak-out. What was it about? This drinking to oblivion. The attitude?”

  “You can’t talk to me like this. We don’t know each other well enough.”

  “Lie,” I said staring into her dark eyes. “And you know it. You see me more clearly than anybody ever has.”

  She swallowed and her gaze moved around the car. It was dark outside but she was illuminated by the streetlights around her apartment building.

  “I have been trying to let you in.” Her accent grew stronger. “I just hadn’t expected everybody I know to be there. I didn’t expect you to invite half of Green Valley to our date.”

  “I didn’t know it was a date.”

  “Lie,” she spat back at me.

  I turned fully toward her, letting out a sigh. Secretly happy on some level to be called out. To hear her talking to me like she does when it’s just us, without any masks. “I didn’t know everybody else would show up. But I am sorry. You’re right. I was worried it was a date.”

  She crossed her arms and looked out the window. “Worried,” she mumbled.

  “Not because I didn’t want to go out with you. God, Roxy, you know how badly I … that’s exactly why I was worried. I didn’t know what to do. I can’t seem to control myself around you.” I poked her shoulder gently, to get her to look at me. “I didn’t want to be alone with you and have you regret it.”

  Her shoulders sagged with a deep exhale. “I don’t want either of us to regret our time together. You want to get to know me so bad, then here you go. This is where I’m from.” She gestured to the apartments and back toward the bar. “Those are my people. Is that what you want to know? That I was a biker chick for a motorcycle club … If you met me back then, you wouldn’t even look at me like that …”

  “Like what?” I leaned closer.

  “Like I was something special,” she repeated back my same phrase.

  “You’re wonderful, Roxxo. All I ever want is for you to be yourself around me.”

  She fisted her hands, rubbing them along her arms. “That’s the thing though, isn’t it? I don’t know who I am. I’m not Biker Roxy anymore. I’m clearly not pulling off this corporate shit. I don’t know where I fit. Everybody seems to know themselves so well. Tonight, it was like all my worlds came clashing together. I shut down. I was embarrassed. I don’t know who the hell I’m supposed to be.” Her words shook with emotion as she finished.

  She let out a long slow breath, her brows twisted with confusion. “I don’t think I knew I felt this way until just now,” she said with a huff.

  “Who were you the night in Denver?” I asked.

  Her gaze shot to me.

  “Were you pretending that night?” I swallowed, afraid of the answer.

  That night had meant so much to me. I had felt a connection to her on a level I never had experienced with anybody else. If she was faking it … I didn’t know if I could handle it.

  “That night I wasn’t pretending to be anybody.” I looked up at her words. “I think that’s what scared me so bad.”

  I couldn’t speak for the emotion that tightened my throat. I wanted to pull her into my lap and kiss her into oblivion. I wanted to tell her she fixed me that night. She took one of the worst days of my life and put me back together without even trying. How could I possibly even convey the depth of my feelings for her? I didn’t want to scare her. She already ran away at every turn.

  I grabbed her hands. She looked down at them, her chest rising and falling.

  “I don’t want you to be scared of whatever this is,” I said. “I don’t want you running away. I want you leaping toward me. There’s no rush for me.” I ran my thumbs along the soft skin of the back of her hands. “I don’t want you to regret a moment with me. Life can be too heavy to handle sometimes. Let people share the load, Roxy. If you can’t leave it behind, then let people help.”

  “Thank you. I’m working on that,” she said with a grin.

  I said, “There’s seven billion people on this planet. You aren’t alone.”

  “Neither are you, Colonel.” Her bottom lip pulled into her mouth as she worried it. “If you want to talk about your dad …”

  It was tempting to tell her everything but I just couldn’t talk to her after a night like tonight. After she’d been drinking. I suddenly felt so tired. “Thank you.” I squeezed her hand. “It’s getting late. Let me walk you up.”

  Her mouth parted and then she said, “Sure.”

  Chapter 18

  Roxy

  It was Saturday night in the Barn, the main event space for the Lodge, and the graduation party was in full swing. Or it should have been? I couldn’t tell if the party was fun. The DJ spun a bunch of songs I didn’t recognize and the teens took a lot of videos on their phones. They weren’t dancing exactly. Or if they did it was only for like twenty seconds and then they’d clump together looking at the video they made. I do not understand teenagers. I didn’t even fit in with them when I was one. When I was eighteen, I was partying with the Wraiths in ways that made this party seem like a toddler’s birthday.

  I stood on the edge of the room, watching and debating if it was time to leave. My responsibilities for the night were complete. I could use a cocktail and a break from these shoes.

  “Someone needs to show these people how to party,” a voice whispered in my ear.

  The vibration trailed down my spine, kissing each vertebra before settling in my lower body. Just a whisper in my ear … just a scent of him and a cascade of horny rippled through me.

  Get a grip, woman.

  “Sander
s,” I said. “Hey.” I fixed my bangs.

  My relief at seeing him was instant. Things ended weird the other night. I had been drunk and knew I was acting like an asshole. I had been so overwhelmed I slipped into Old Roxy habits.

  “You look beautiful,” he said.

  I wore a little black dress, my go-to for nighttime events. It was a simple shift dress made of a heavy jersey-type material but was slightly shiny, so it looked professional with my black heels and matching silk stockings.

  He grabbed my hand and spun me around to get the full view. I rolled my eyes but liked the way he ate up my body like a sugary treat from the Donner Bakery dessert case. Maybe we could forget that the events at Genie’s ever happened. My overshare. His refusal to share. Tonight, he seemed set on flirtation.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself,” I said.

  His black button-up shirt looked crafted to his body. The strength earned from all his time outside, pulled the material tight around his strong shoulders and biceps. He wore matching black pants and a thin belt, nothing outrageously fancy but he looked amazing. It was nice to see him in something other than khaki hiking pants. Not that I minded those either. I liked how he looked all the time.

  “I clean up okay.” He shrugged, backing away to look up at me with a pouty smolder. The dirty, little flirt.

  “I remembered you said you had to work this party,” he explained. “I thought …” He looked to the side and then turned back to me. His focus snagged on my legs before returning to my face where it moved from my mouth to my eyes and all around. “Well, you mentioned never having prom or graduation, this is the next best thing.”

  He looked so earnest as he spoke, so hot with his slicked-back hair and freshly shaved face. He was so sexy I couldn’t stand still. I wanted to rub my thighs together just to feel the silk material. I wanted to feel him roll the stockings off my body slowly, one at a time.

  “Such a romantic,” I said having no clue how to even handle such a thoughtful gesture. “Thank you,” I added.