Bound by Honor

by Donna Clayton

  "I have learned a lot," she began, "during the month I have lived on Broken Bow Reservation. First and foremost, I've learned something about honorable behavior. I've discovered that the Lenape cherish honor almost above all else. And that's why I'm here. I want to be honorable. I want to be forthright about what's happening in my life. And in the life of my niece." Panic shimmered through her. "I hope all of you will bear with me for a moment and take that into consideration after you hear what I have to say."

  Jenna sensed that some of the members relaxed, if their nods were any indication. She took a deep breath.

  "It is with a very heavy heart," she said, "that I come here to tell you that Gage Dalton and I can no longer remain married." Without thought, she laced her fingers, one thumb worrying back and forth across the other. "What happened between us is personal, and I ask that you respect our privacy But . . . because this affects Lily and when she'll be living, I wanted to come here and discuss things with you, and assure you-“

  "Where will the two of you be living?" Predictably, the blunt interruption came from Chee'pai. Accusation singed the edges of the question.

  Jenna had thought she could offer to live with Lily on the rez. But doing so would be terribly difficult for her now that she'd realized her love for Gage. He made her feel like no other man had ever made her feel. However, even though she recognized that fact, she also knew that Gage would never be able to return the love she felt for him.

  Living at Broken Bow would remind her of him every single day.

  "I'd like to take Lily back to my hometown. Rock Springs." She quickly blurted, "With your permission, of course."

  "We will never grant permission for that," Chee'pai declared.

  One of the other Council women leaned forward. "With all due respect to our shaman, one person cannot speak for the entire group."

  "I agree," a male Council member said, nodding.

  "But just a month ago," another man pointed out, "she agreed she would not take the baby from Broken Bow."

  "Rock Springs isn't that far away," Jenna pointed out.

  Hoo'ma raised her hand and everyone went silent. "As concerned as I am with Lily," the woman said softly, "I am also concerned, Jenna, with your relationship with Gage. I understand that your private life should remain private. But it is only with an open heart that I ask if you're sure the two of you made every attempt to make your relationship work. You have been married such a short time. It is difficult for two people just starting out to —"

  "They were not married," Chee'pai blurted.

  Shocked, Jenna jerked to face him. "Of course we were married. You saw the license yourself."

  Several Council members frowned, and it was clear they were wondering what the shaman might know. Jenna wondered the same thing. Ice-cold trepidation slithered up her spine, and she warded off a shiver.

  Chee'pai narrowed his charcoal eyes at her, a clear challenge tightening his expression. "You say you have learned about honor. Can you stand there before this Council and honestly say that you love my grandson?"

  Jenna's heart pounded against her ribs. She'd expected to discuss her niece with the Elders today. It had never occurred to her that they would ask personal questions about her relationship with Gage.

  She didn't like being put on the spot. Chee'pai had been against her from day one. Suddenly, she wanted more than anything to put him in his place. But doing so would mean she would have to reveal some very privileged information about herself and her feelings.

  She squared her shoulders and tipped up her chin. Privacy be damned!

  "I can," she told him boldly. "I can stand here and pledge to you and the rest of the Elders that I love Gage Dalton with every ounce of my being."

  There! The truth was out. And it did her soul good to see the shaman's superior smirk slip just a notch.

  "Jenna." Hoo'ma rested her thin arms on the edge of the long table. "If what you say is true ... is there anything we can do to help you and Gage to work things out?"

  The thought of Gage sent pain spearing through Jenna. She frowned, trying to figure out how to answer the woman's question. She wished there was something they could do. But there wasn't.

  Gage was trapped. Held down by a past mired in grief and guilt. Jenna had tried to free him. She'd tried to make him envision an optimistic future. But he was wearing blinders, it seemed. She couldn't fix this for him.

  She felt badly for Gage. Her heart ached for him, for his inability to move forward, but she was determined to do what was best for Lily. To make a hopeful future for her niece. And if that meant letting go of what she couldn't fix, then so be it.

  Finally, she shook her head. "I appreciate your concern, your willingness to help. But there's nothing anyone can do."

  That was all she intended to say on the subject. What had taken place between her and Gage was their business.

  She stood tall. "I want you to know that I'll do everything in my power to see to it that Lily's life is steeped in Lenape culture. I'll bring her to the reservation often. We'll attend the celebrations and festivals. I truly want her to be a part of this community. To be a part of this family. As she gets older, I promise to —"

  "You're lying," Chee'pai said, slapping the table sharply with his palm. "We cannot believe anything that you say."

  Hoo'ma's normally calm demeanor cracked. "Chee'pai, I will not permit this rudeness."

  The shaman's haughtiness had returned full force. "I know she is lying. Because Gage told me their marriage was not a love match. He called their marriage an arrangement, and that is proof that the union was not based on the foundation Jenna is claiming."

  Jenna was unable to stop her ragged gasp. She'd never felt so betrayed. Yes, she and Gage had experienced bumpy moments over the weeks she'd lived in his home, but she'd thought they had at least become friends. She'd never expected him to reveal the truth about their marriage bargain to his grandfather.

  "And if she would lie to us about her marriage to my grandson," Chee'pai said, "then she'll lie to us about her plans for the baby. Lily Collins belongs here. On Broken Bow. Among her Lenape family."

  The room went eerily quiet.

  Hoo'ma, whom Jenna had felt certain she had won over, now looked at her with grave doubt. The other Council members gazed at her, their suspicion evident.

  Fear crept over Jenna. A fear that was as bleak and cold as the dead of winter.

  "May I approach the Council table?"

  The sound of Gage's voice had Jenna whipping around. His handsome features looked set in stone as he walked from the back of the room

  How long had he been there? How much had he heard? Had he witnessed her profession of love?

  The questions made her dizzy. But then anger took hold.

  The person coming toward her had abandoned her. He'd broken both her faith and her trust. He had divulged their secret when he knew full well that doing so would cost her custody of Lily.

  The fury inside her burned white-hot.

  Then she noticed that he looked angry, too.

  "What are you doing here?" she said, her voice grating. "I told you not to come."

  He brushed past her and stalked toward the Elders, stopping in front of his grandfather. "I ask for permission to speak."

  Chapter Ten

  "Of course, Gage," Hoo'ma said gently. "Let me welcome you on behalf of the Council. I think it's safe to say that we'd all be pleased to hear whatever it is you wish to tell us."

  Before Gage could speak, Chee'pai said, "Yes, Gage, tell us the truth. All of us are eager to know. Did you marry Jenna out of choice?"

  Although his back was to Jenna, Gage could feel her gaze boring into him. Lying to the Elders would be an egregious disrespect. A black mark on his character and his soul.

  But he'd come today to do the right thing. Because since meeting Jenna, he'd done everything wrong. Everything.

  The knowledge that he'd stolen her virginity still wrenched his gut. As did the knowledg
e that he'd upset her so terribly, she'd had to pack up and leave. She deserved so much better than what he'd been able to offer her over the weeks they had pretended to be husband and wife. And he intended to give her what she deserved now.

  "Back in the spring," Gage began, "on the day of the terrible storm that caused all the flooding, Jenna and I met on Reservation Road. She stood in the pouring rain, risking her own safety to stop me from driving into the floodwaters that had washed out the roadway. She saved my life. I owed her a Life Gift. So when she came to me looking for help in gaining custody of her niece, I felt I had to help her."

  "You had no choice but to repay your debt," Hoo'ma supplied, nodding her head in emphatic defense.

  Gage offered the woman a small smile of appreciation. The truth of the matter was he felt sick that he was revealing the secret pact he'd made with Jenna. He hated that he was breaking the promise he'd made to her, but he felt he had no other choice. His grandfather was bent on using the information against her. Half truths were more dangerous than straightforward fact.

  Chee'pai's chin tilted in triumph. His gaze swung to Jenna. "So you lied to this Council when you said that you and Gage were in love."

  Astonishment made Gage turn and stare at Jenna, but her eyes were riveted to the shaman. Having arrived just as his grandfather accused Jenna of lying about their marriage and about her plans to teach Lily

  her native culture, Gage had heard her mention nothing of love. He couldn't believe Jenna would tell the Elders —

  "You're putting words in my mouth," Jenna charged. "I mean no disrespect, but that's not what I said, Chee'pai. I cannot and would not ever attempt to speak for Gage. I can only speak for myself. And what I told you was the truth."

  Gage's lips parted as his jaw went slack. Jenna hadn't mentioned the word love, but his grandfather had. However, Jenna just professed to telling the truth. His mind raced to put it together.

  "But that doesn't excuse the fact," Chee'pai said, "that you intentionally manipulated this Council for your own gain."

  "I did it for Lily!"

  The desperation in Jenna's tone was like a kick to the seat of Gage's pants. He whirled on his heel and faced his grandfather. "Repaying a Life Gift was not the only reason I agreed to help Jenna," he declared.

  A deep frown bit into Chee'pai's brow.

  "The story Jenna explained," Gage continued, "shocked me. She is Lily's aunt. She is Lily's family. Yet she was not being considered as the child's guardian."

  "Of course she was being considered, Gage," Hoo'ma said.

  "Honestly?" he asked the woman. "Then why was she given such a runaround? She met with you for weeks and weeks. Provided all the information you asked for. And the members of this Council kept putting more and more roadblocks in her way."

  Hoo'ma's lips flattened, and she glanced toward Chee'pai.

  The shaman squared his shoulders. "Gage, you know that we must do all we can to preserve our tribe. Lily is Lenape. We felt it was important that she stay here. Among her people."

  Gage sighed. "I understand," he said, his tone soft now, "that your intentions are only for the good of the tribe. I attempted to explain that to Jenna. But it seems to me, Grandfather, that the goal has somehow become more important than the people.

  "Your inflexibility in wanting to keep the tribe together has alienated people. My parents are two prime examples. Because they wish to live in Arizona — for my mother's health — you have made them feel ostracized. And you denigrate the young people who move from Broken Bow in order to find work, to travel the world, to educate themselves, to experience life. Just because our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers feel the need to leave the rez for one reason or another does not make them any less a part of our family. It does not make them any less Lenape."

  Gage noticed that his grandfather's body tensed with disapproval, but that didn't thwart him from speaking his mind.

  "Granted," Gage continued, "Jenna isn't Indian. But there was a time in Lenape history when the color of a person's skin meant nothing. People of all races and creeds were adopted into the tribe without thought to their outward appearance. French trappers took Lenape wives. Widowed English settlers took Lenape husbands. Orphaned children were taken in, provided for. They all became part of our family. What mattered was the nurturing of the soul. What mattered was that everyone felt wanted and needed and cared for.

  "A woman who had maternal feelings for a motherless child would never have been kept from that child for any reason, least of all her ethnicity." Gage glanced at the Elders and understood that all of them knew he spoke the truth.

  "Yes —" Chee'pai nodded "— what you say is true. But these are different times. You have to admit that."

  Reaching out, Gage rested the fleshy part of his fist on the wooden table. He was very aware of the stillness that had fallen over the room. "All I know is that segregation is an idea that comes from the outside world, not from the Lenape."

  Almost simultaneously, the gazes of several of the Elders slid from his.

  Gage swung his arm outward to indicate Jenna. "This woman loves that child. She gets up in the night. Makes herself available at all hours. She's put her niece first, taking care of her business only when Lily is napping or sleeping for the night. She worries and frets, cuddles and plays, praises and teaches just as if she were that baby's mother. She couldn't love Lily more had she given birth to her. Jenna uprooted herself at your request. She has made friends here. And not only that, she's gone beyond the call of duty to help the artists of our tribe with the Web site she's building to sell and promote their work. Jenna has an earnest interest in learning our culture so she can teach Lily about her Lenape roots. She deserves to raise that child."

  He glanced at Jenna, but she'd dipped her head. He had no way of knowing what she might be thinking.

  "I want to urge each and every one of you to —" He stopped suddenly, feeling as if the remainder of his sentence had been choked off. "I want to urge you to —"

  Again, his request caught, refusing to be uttered.

  He swallowed around the knot that had suddenly formed in his throat. What was wrong with him? He'd come here to help her. And that was what he intended to do.

  "Please," he said, forcing his tongue to work, "give Jenna your blessing to leave Broken Bow with Lily." His breath went suddenly and surprisingly ragged as he finished, "If that is what she chooses to do."

  Jenna was dumbfounded by all that Gage had said. She was utterly amazed that he would even show up here at the meeting after the angry words they had tossed at each other just a couple of days ago. And she was staggered by the arguments he'd made on her behalf, especially since he'd told her from the start that if it was discovered that he had tried to deceive the Elders, he could be ousted from the tribe.

  At the same time she felt heartbroken. If he hadn't been standing in the back of the hall to overhear her heartfelt profession to the Elders, then he most certainly deciphered her feelings by what she'd been forced to admit to Chee'pai with Gage standing right there beside her. Yet knowing that he'd captured her heart, Gage had still asked the Council to let her leave Broken Bow with Lily. That was a clear message of just how badly he wanted her gone.

  Not that she'd expected anything else. He'd made his feelings obvious when they had argued at the stable. But still, hearing him urging for her release churned up a startlingly strong sadness in her.

  She stepped forward to address the Elders. "I should probably apologize to all of you for how I handled things." She paused long enough to take a deep breath. "But I'd be lying if I said I was sorry. About anything."

  Although she couldn't bring herself to glance at the man standing next to her, she was keenly aware of the solid mass of him just inches away. But she kept her eyes trained forward. "Had I not met Gage the day of the terrible storm, I would not have had the means to convince the Council to grant me custody of my niece. Had he not opened his home to me here on Broken Bow, I would ne
ver have realized the awesome heritage that is an indelible part of who Lily is."

  She directed her attention to the shaman who seemed to remain in deep contemplation. "Chee'pai, I understand your wanting to hold fast to Lenape traditions. And I want you to know that, no matter where Lily and I end up, I still want her to be a part of this loving family. I would not have been able to say that a month ago. So I can't stand here and apologize for what could be described as my less-than-honorable choices."

  Despite sound reason, Jenna found herself turning to face Gage. "I don't regret anything."

  If the soft tone of her voice didn't reveal to the Elders the intimate meaning behind her words, then the heat suffusing her face surely would.

  With her heart hammering, she lifted her gaze back toward the Council. "I hope you won't take Lily from me. I love my niece, as Gage said, just as much as if I had given birth to her. I want her with me. I need her with me."

  The Council was quiet, clearly pensive. Finally, Hoo'ma spoke. "I think a final vote is in order, but because this is such an important issue — a child's future — I'll ask if there is any further discussion that needs to take place first."

  She paused to give the members a chance to speak their minds, and the silence seemed to last an eon for Jenna.

  When no one exercised their right to speak, Hoo'ma continued, "No one can predict the future. No one can say what might happen between Gage and Jenna and Lily. The Great One has a way of twisting and shaping tomorrow in ways that none of us ever expect. But whatever fate has in store, I personally believe that Lily Collins should be with Jenna. The child is firmly entrenched in Jenna's heart. Jenna has certainly proved her love for the child. Whether Jenna decides to stay here with us or leave the reservation, I believe mother and child should be together. All who agree please speak up now."

  One by one, the Elders made their judgment known by nodding or raising their hands. Chee'pai's brow was puckered and he remained still for the longest time. Finally, he gave a silent nod.