A Valentine for Two

by Lia Davis

  The ugly truth was, he’d saved Charlotte Harcourt because he’d decided that moment he saw her tear-streaked face that he was keeping her and nothing and no one was going to stop him.

  He’d had her for nine long years. That was longer than he’d ever been allowed to keep anything, especially not something as breakable and fancy as Charlotte Harcourt.

  This, right now, it was that darker part of him telling him it was time to let her go before he broke her.

  And he would, wouldn’t he? He’d break her if she entrusted herself into his hands. She didn’t understand how breakable she was and how good he was at breaking things. At getting them dirty, spoiling them.

  After they exited the field, Vance approached. “So what’d I tell you? You love it, right?” He clapped him on the back. “I know these things.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “Oh, whatever. You fucking loved it. I’ll keep your secret though.” Vance winked at him. “If you come out with us tomorrow night.”

  “Us?” He peeled off his jersey. “You have a date with Charlotte tomorrow night.”

  “Yes. Come.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  He glared. “You are poking a rabid dog that’s best left sleeping. It’s only ten grand to you and an amusement. This is Charlotte’s life. And my...” he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

  He didn’t know who he was without her. No, that was a lie. Who knew exactly who and what he was without her. It was a dark, ugly place and he didn’t want to go back.

  Vance was either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave because he didn’t back down. Instead, he said, “Your everything? You think she’s the sum of you?”

  How did this guy who seemed like he was the very definition of privileged, shallow, and vapid have such a keen insight?

  Or maybe, Jace thought, maybe he just wasn’t that hard to understand. It was easy to see the big picture from on high. The whole picture.

  “I don’t know what you’ve been through. I’ve heard the rumors and if you want to tell me, I will listen. If you don’t, that’s okay, too. But you’re right. I could give a shit less about ten grand. I could wipe my ass with it and call it a day.” He shrugged. “No point in lying about it or demurring. I’d like to think we’d treat each other better than that. So tell me the truth. Didn’t you feel something in the dynamic between the three of us? I know I’m not alone in that.”

  He seemed so sincere.

  Only, so had his father before he’d flung boiling oil on his face.

  “Do you want to fight some more?” Vance gave him a lopsided grin. “Does that make it easier to talk to me?”

  The comment hit way too close to home. He’d thought about fighting with him again while he’d had his hand on his cock. He’d watched some of the filthiest, ugliest, most violent porn while fantasizing about Vance.

  Except here he was, in the real. Close enough to touch, offering him what he wanted.

  He did want to fight with him. He wanted to hold him down, he wanted to hurt him. He wanted to take his power because he felt like Vance had taken all of his. He’d dug deep into the dark parts of him and blasted a spotlight, now all the black ink was of his sins spilled out and it would drown them all.

  “Oh, that’s it, isn’t it?”

  The last of the other players disappeared into the showers.

  “Well, I’m game, Lamont. Anytime. Anywhere. Right here?” He grinned again. “You want to wrestle me into submission? Some Greek play?”

  Jace couldn’t contain his feelings anymore. The rage. The desire. The pain. Underneath it everything, all his old wounds had been ripped open. Deeper, with a duller blade. The tears were ragged and ugly, wounds that would never heal.

  Vance wasn’t a small guy, but he was no match for Jace’s super-charged brute strength. He slammed him against the wall.

  “Stop playing games with me.”

  Vance circled his hands around Jace’s wrists and didn’t fight him or try to flee. “Do you want to hurt everyone who makes your dick hard?”

  Jace dropped him then and sank down on a bench. “I don’t really want to hurt anyone. Don’t you understand? This is in me. This is what I am. I’m wired wrong. They say that happens to people sometimes when they’ve been through what I have.” He pointed at his head. “It’s all fucked up in here, and that’s even after nine years of the best therapists that money can buy.”

  “That’s why you won’t give her what she wants? You think you’re going to hurt her? You think that wanting her, you wanting her, that’s going to make her dirty?”

  “You just keep pushing.” Jace was afraid now. For Charlotte. For Vance. For himself.

  “I am getting my degree in forensic psychology. I’ve got a thing for fucked up.” Vance winked at him.

  “They teaching you how to break down people’s walls? They ever teach you sometimes there’s a reason for those walls, and it has nothing to do with my safety, but yours?”

  “How long do you think you can keep all this inside? It’s like you’re a volcano, man. You’re rumbling and on fire, but you could blow any time. Let me be your conduit to be with Charlotte. I’ll take the fire. I’ll take the rage. And you can be her mountain. Solid. Beautiful.”

  “Beautiful? Are you fucking stoned?”

  Vance sank down next to him.

  “Why do you want this so bad?”

  “Terminal curiosity, probably.” He shrugged. “Also, you keep telling me no. No one tells me no. Give me what I want, and maybe I’ll get over this obsession I’ve got.”

  Jace exhaled heavily. “Have you ever been denied anything?”

  “Lots of things. It’s ridiculous, really. Here I am, a Brat Prince, and I don’t get half of what I want.”

  “Do you get obsessed with everything you can’t have?” He tried not to think about him so close, so willing. Or the things he’d done to the man in his head.

  “No. Just you and Charlotte. I don’t know why, but this thing between us, I need it. I’ll do anything to have it.”

  The tension was suddenly thick, a solid thing that hung heavy in the air. It didn’t matter that they were in the locker room. It didn’t matter that anyone could overhear them. Anyone could see them.

  There was an intimacy in that moment, a connection.

  “You should know, it’s not strategically sound to give your enemy that kind of power over you,” Jace said, finally.

  “We’re not enemies. Why does it have to be love and war? Maybe I’m naïve, but can’t it just be love?”

  “Not with someone like me.”

  “I’m going to prove you wrong, Jace. The three of us haven’t known each other long, but there’s more here. There’s a draw of all our broken pieces that will fit together to make something whole. Something strong.”

  “I’m going to hurt you, Vance. Maybe not now. Maybe not tomorrow. But I will. You want honesty? I’ll give it to you. I’ll do it because I want to. Because for as much as I’m feeling all of this, I hate you for making me feel it. I hate you for being everything I’m not.”

  This time, it was Vance who was the aggressor. Vance who was overcome. He grabbed Jace’s shoulders and pushed him back against the lockers. “I don’t fucking care.”

  “Then God help you, because no one else will be able to.”

  Vance’s lips were at odds with the heat between them, they were soft. They were gentle. They were everything terrible and good all at once.

  “Someone will see.”

  “I don’t give a shit,” Vance said, breathless. “Come with us tomorrow.”

  Jace couldn’t say no.

  Chapter Six

  Charlotte

  She hadn’t been able to pay attention in any of her classes. Her GPA was going to swirl the bowl, but all she could think about was what had happened between her and Jace, and the date with Vance.

  She’d gone from barely dipping her toes in t
he water to being flung off the boat into a place where she couldn’t see the bottom.

  Charlotte was most likely going to drown, but she couldn’t care. It’d be a great trip down.

  Anticipation curled low in her belly as she tried to decide what to wear on her date with the Brat Prince.

  She kept thinking about what Pandora had told her about Huntington Dane and the bet that Vance couldn’t get her and Jace into bed.

  Did she really want that to happen?

  Oh hell yes.

  What she was worried about was the fallout. About what would happen to her relationship with Jace afterward.

  She loved him, she’d always loved him.

  As she’d gotten older, she’d lusted after him.

  But was she in love with him...?

  If she was in love with him, she couldn’t think about what that meant. She knew he couldn’t feel that way about her. Maybe he thought he did, but she was wise enough to know you can’t truly love another person until you know what it’s like to love yourself. To value yourself.

  He didn’t. So maybe, he was obsessed with her. Maybe he wanted her. Maybe he did have affection for her.

  But was it the until the stars burn out kind of love that she’d always read about and wanted for herself? No.

  Not that it was in the offing with Vance, either. This was just a stupid bet.

  Wasn’t it?

  That’s why she couldn’t remember the Ode to Man from Antigone in her classic civ lit class. Except the last line: “Man’s little pleasure is the spring of all sorrow.”

  Maybe it was the sign from the universe that she needed to sit herself down and rethink exactly what it was that she doing. This wasn’t going to end well for any of them. Especially not Jace.

  Or maybe it could be good for him?

  Part of her said yes, but the other part of her said that was just something she could tell herself so she wouldn’t feel guilty about pushing him past all of his boundaries and breaking the bond between them just to feel his hands on her skin.

  As she was walking back to Ridgemont Hall, still thinking about Antigone and how righteously fucked it all was, her phone buzzed in her back pocket.

  It was a text from Vance.

  Kissed your bodyguard yesterday. What do you think about that?

  He did not! Did he? “Ohmigod!” She looked around to see if anyone was watching her talk to herself.

  Without hesitation she texted back: Pics or it didn’t happen.

  Maybe you’ll get better than pics. I asked him to join our date tonight.

  She studied it for a moment. Did that mean what she wanted it to mean? Was he going because he wanted to protect her, or was he going because he wanted to be there? The idea of watching them make out made her knees weak.

  God, she wasn’t even sure if she could. That would be the most bad/wrong thing she’d ever done, watching their intimate moments.

  He texted again: You didn’t answer. Did I misread you or did I overstep?

  No, I’m just really far out of my comfort zone.

  Comfort is boring. But we can always stop or slow down. You have to tell me, though. Speaking of, have to tell you something before our date.

  ???

  It’s best in person. You may change your mind.

  She paused in the common area once she reached Ridgemont. Pandora told me about the bet.

  Good. Glad that’s out in the open. I didn’t want something so insignificant to ruin our good time.

  She realized she liked seeing his words on the screen. Liked talking to him. She texted back: By the way, I like that you text in complete sentences.

  What am I, a savage? See you soon.

  When she opened the door to their pod, Jace was there and she exhaled a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.

  “I’m so glad you’re here!” She hugged him hard and quick. “I’m not used to you being gone.”

  The hard and quick hug turned into something more. Something she’d wanted, but didn’t want to push him to give her. He returned the embrace, and he did it softly. He held her like he had when they were young, and it had been so long. “Do you want me to quit the team? I’m going to be gone a lot.”

  He smelled so good. Like home. And something else, a new kind of cologne that was sexy as hell. She tried not to think about the wide expanse of his chest, or how good his arms felt. Charlotte reminded herself why she wanted this embrace, and it was about more than lust.

  “No, don’t do you that. You’re allowed to have things for yourself. I’m glad you have this. I just have to get used to you being gone. But it made me really happy to open the door and see you.”

  “Obviously. I don’t usually get this kind of greeting.”

  “You would. Every time I see you. I didn’t think you wanted it.”

  “Every time?” he sounded doubtful. “Like you’re walking across campus, and you see me, and you’re going to drop what you’re doing to come assault me with a full body hug?” His words were a little harsh, but his tone was teasing.

  “You think I’m kidding?”

  She would not think about that night with his mouth between her legs. She would not think about—

  Charlotte tried to only think about this moment. To commit it to memory.

  “Can we talk? Like we used to?” he asked.

  “I’d really like that.”

  “Maybe not after what I tell you.”

  He turned off the lights and they sat on the living room floor, back to back. In the early days, after the oil, this was what was most comfortable for him. How she was able to give him the reassurance of touch without hurting him.

  It was how they shared their darkest secrets. The things that weren’t safe with anyone else. They hadn’t done this in so long.

  The sat there for a long time, with only the sounds of their breath to comfort them. “I’ve been angry a long time,” he said finally.

  “I know. I’d started to think you hated me sometimes.”

  “Sometimes, I do—”

  Her heart cracked like the shifting of tectonic plates.

  “—but not as much as I hate myself.”

  Charlotte knew now wasn’t the time to worry about what she felt. This was about him, and he was trying to tell her something. She had to listen. Even if it hurt. “Why do you hate yourself?”

  “I’m all fucked up in my head, little one. I thought I could get better and, man, I tried.”

  “It sounds like you’re telling me you’re not going to try anymore.”

  “I can’t fight myself and you.”

  She wanted nothing more than to turn around and tell him he never had to fight her. She’d protect him the way he protected her, but she knew that wasn’t what he needed. He needed to get this all out in the open. Splay it wide under the harsh light of confession.

  “Why do you think you’re fighting me, too?” she urged him on.

  “Because of what you want from me. I don’t know why you think you want this, but I can’t tell you no. I wish I was a good enough man to save you from yourself, but I want you too much, Charlotte.”

  This wasn’t how she wanted him to come to her, but she guessed it couldn’t always be about what she wanted, could it? She sighed. “You don’t need to save me anymore, Jace. I can save myself.”

  “Obviously fucking not,” he replied with a self-deprecating laugh.

  “I’ll always need you. Always. Whatever we mean to each other, you’re my family. There is nothing that can break that.”

  “You say that so easily, but you don’t know the part of me I’ve kept away from you.”

  “Maybe that’s the problem. You know secrets, lies... they fester in the dark. It’s better to let them out. They don’t have as much power.”

  “I think about you all the time, Charlotte. I think about doing things to you that you couldn’t possibly want.”

  “Like what?” She took a deep breath and steeled herself for whatever he would say, t
rying to ignore the desperate heat in her pussy.

  “Your body is tense. You’re breathing so fast. Are you afraid? I don’t have to tell—”

  “I’m not afraid.” He was confessing, so she could too. “I’m turned on.”

  He was silent for a long while.

  “Jace? Don’t cut out on this now. Tell me.” Then in a softer tone, she said, “I think we both need to hear it out loud.”

  “If you were anyone else, I’d swear you were doing this just to tear open my scars.”

  “I’d never do that.”

  He exhaled a shuddering breath. Something she hadn’t heard from him since he was a child. He’d been a monolith, a mountain... no, a volcano, and this was the lava inside him. Well, she wanted it.

  “I think about you. The things I’ve done to you in my head, I’ve made you an object.”

  “I know that. You treat me like I’m some saint you’ve put on a pedestal.”

  “I had to, because of the way I defile you in my head.”

  “Why is sex dirty to you?”

  “Because it is dirty. It’s degrading. What my father was going to do to you...”

  “But he didn’t. You saved me.”

  “Because I wanted to keep you,” he spat.

  “And so you have kept me. Tell me what you want to do to me. Tell me why I shouldn’t want you to.” Tell me why I should climb on your lap right now...

  “That anger I was telling you about.”

  “Do you want to hurt me?” she asked, her voice small.

  “Never you. That’s why I’m afraid. You’re the one person I don’t want to hurt.”

  “Then you won’t.”

  “I wish I believed in myself the way you believe in me, but I can’t. Because I know all the dark things inside of me.”

  “You act like you’re some monster, but—”

  “I stole a pair of your panties.”

  Her breath caught in her throat and her clit throbbed. “Tell me.”

  “I’m ashamed, Charlotte.”

  “Christ, don’t be. I’m so wet right now. Tell me.”

  “It’s why I started sending your laundry out for you,” he said quietly.