Seven Exes Are Eight Too Many

by Heather Wardell

  When Liv was done, we walked over to Peter. "Thank you," I said, feeling strangely shy.

  He smiled. "It wasn't my idea, but I'm glad it worked. Have a good day. You deserve it."

  I smiled back and Liv and I headed out. She glanced at our attendant camera man and said, "While we're closer to being alone, how are you? I can't imagine being here. With them."

  I smiled. "Actually, it's not so bad. Weird, but they're okay. Most of them, anyhow."

  "Hooked up with any of them?"

  "Of course not!"

  "Hey, some of them look pretty damn good. Tanned muscly guys wearing next to nothing. What's not to like?" she said, laughing.

  "Okay, come here," I said, and her face lit up. I whispered in her ear, giving her a brief rundown on Aaron's pass, to which she rolled her eyes, and his sweetness after my fall, and then quickly explained Michael's behavior. She'd heard him refer to Melvin once and I'd had to explain it to her, so I was able to tell her without spelling it out.

  "That's Michael's wife with him, Paige," Liv said. "Little blonde one with balls the size of Japan. When they said we might not get to see you guys I was even a little scared of her, and it wasn't me she was yelling at."

  "How do you think she'll react to me?"

  Liv looked me in the eye, all amusement gone. "Trust me, she's not a fan."

  *****

  Kent's campsite was wider than ours but not as deep, fifteen feet at most from the back of their clearing to the shore. Otherwise, it looked as rustic, and uncomfortable, as ours. When we were assembled on the beach, Kent said, "Well, welcome. I guess we should give a quick tour."

  Summer spread her arms wide. "This is our camp. Tour concluded."

  "Where's the little boys' room?" Aaron asked.

  "We don't want any little boys here," Summer said, putting the faintest stress on 'little'.

  Aaron's eyes widened. "Um, Summer, this is my mother Louisa."

  Summer's cheeks turned a faint pink, but she recovered quickly. "Lovely to meet you. We should all introduce ourselves, right?"

  Before anyone could, Louisa said, "Madeleine-Cora, what on earth happened to you?"

  "I fell down," I said, feeling awkward as everyone turned to me.

  "On what, razor blades?"

  I poked Liv. "No, on the trail. In a contest two days ago. It looks worse than it feels." I stuck out my left leg and looked at my knee. Even to me, it looked terrible.

  "It would have to," Louisa said, eyeing it with concern, "or else you wouldn't be walking around." Her eyes returned to my face. "Are you sure you're all right?"

  "She's fine, Mom. Just a few scrapes."

  "A few--"

  "Mom. I-- we're taking care of her. She'll be okay."

  They stared at each other, Aaron seeming to get shorter and smaller. Without looking away, he said, "Tell her, MC," his tone pleading.

  "I really am fine," I said. "I'm staying out of the ocean so they stay clean, and they don't hurt nearly as much as they did before. It's nice of you to be worried, though."

  Aaron turned to me, startled. "You never said they hurt at all."

  I shrugged. "I figured that was obvious."

  "Yeah, I guess," he said slowly. "I didn't know, though."

  I hadn't gone on about it, no, but of course they hurt, and my gentle explorations of my cheek caused more pain than they should given how minor the scrape felt beneath my fingers.

  Louisa took advantage of Aaron's confusion. "Maybe we should insist you see a doctor."

  I shook my head. "No, truly, I'm fine. I don't want to get kicked out, and I might if a doctor thought it was bad enough."

  "Well, if it is that bad, then you should get kicked out," Louisa said, staring me down with an expression that reminded me so much of Aaron I had to bite back a giggle.

  "It's not, really." I smiled at Aaron, hoping to lighten the mood. "And I hear it makes me look tough."

  Louisa raised her eyebrows at her son. "You did not say that to this poor girl. Tell me I raised you better than that."

  Aaron's face turned an instant deep red. Louisa shook her head. "I guess not. Apologize."

  "No, honestly," I said, the giggle getting the better of me. "Aaron's been great. He helps me get around and checks my cheek to make sure it's okay, and he's even been making rice for us. And he was kidding."

  "All right," she said, the corner of her mouth twitching into a smile, which vanished immediately as she turned to Aaron. "But if you give her any trouble, you will regret it."

  She stretched out the last four words, making them full of ominous promise, and Aaron took an involuntary step backward before saying, "I know. I won't. It's okay."

  Louisa silently threatened him for another moment then turned to Kent, her expression changing instantly to friendly interest. "Who's here with you, dear?"

  "My brother Ron," Kent said, gesturing to him.

  Ron said, "It's nice to meet all of you. And, of course, to see some of you again." He turned to me. "MC, get over here."

  I took two steps toward him then stopped, trying to keep the grin from my face.

  He shook his head. "Difficult as ever, I see. Fine, then." He crossed the space between us in a few steps and swept me off my feet, squeezing me so hard I could barely breathe.

  I managed to get my hands around his neck and squeezed him back. He set me down, but I held onto his neck for a second longer before releasing him. We glared at each other then burst out laughing, and he grabbed me again, giving me a proper hug this time.

  "Good to see you again," he said into my ear, and I hugged him harder before we let each other go. I'd run into him about a year after I'd left Kent, and he'd apologized so sincerely for embarrassing me, saying he hadn't even realized he was doing it, that I'd forgiven him. He'd then tried to get me to forgive Kent, but to no avail.

  Kent's exes introduced their friends and sisters, and Jim and Greg their friends. Dean's redhead was his singing partner Valerie, who smiled at everyone else but wouldn't look at me. We'd been friendly when I'd been dating Dean, although I'd thought she wanted him for herself, but apparently she now knew about my 'cheating' and didn't approve of me.

  And of course Michael had-- I looked around. "Has anyone seen Michael?"

  Aaron said, "He and his wife went to the shore." He grinned, clearly thinking of some lewd comment, then shot a guilty glance at his mother even though he hadn't said it.

  No matter. Summer said it for him. "If I'd been here for two weeks and my husband showed up, you can bet I'd take off too. That's a long time without... well, you know." She flashed a brilliant smile at Kent, whose blush rivaled Aaron's Louisa-inflicted one.

  Louisa looked politely blank. "I don't know, dear," she said, the 'dear' not nearly as friendly as her earlier ones, "but I'm sure you won't try to explain it. Not in mixed company."

  As Summer stood silent for once, Louisa said, "Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm hungry. Let's have that tour, and then should we see what they've given us?"

  Kent pointed out the paths to the latrine and the water hole, while his exes found hot dogs and marshmallows and chips and several cases of pop in their treasure chest. My group's fruit was piled neatly beside the chest.

  "Sit down, dear," Louisa said to me. "You need your rest."

  I took a seat on the rock she'd indicated, Liv on one side and Aaron on the other, and stretched my legs out in front of me. Greg and Lily set to work preparing the hot dogs, and Summer and her friend passed out the rest of the food.

  Jim's friend said, "Hell-- heck of a thing, this show."

  I nodded. "When did they tell you we weren't in Vegas?"

  The visitors exchanged confused looks, then Liv said, "They've been broadcasting little clips since a few days after you left. You didn't know?"

  We shook our heads, and I said, "What have they shown?"

  "You refusing to eat monkey brains while someone was hurt. They didn't give his name," Ron said. "You were a wild woman, tell
ing off the host."

  "And the looks on your faces when they dropped that curtain in the hotel ballroom and showed you who else would be on the show," Louisa said. "My goodness, I felt bad for you. You looked so shocked, Kent, and you, Madeleine-Cora, you looked blank. Like you'd been turned to stone."

  I'd felt shocked too, not blank, but I didn't get a chance to say so because Michael and Paige walked into camp. Before Michael could introduce her, she turned to me and said, "We haven't met. I'm Paige, Michael's wife."

  She put a very faint emphasis on 'wife', but I heard it. As I was supposed to. "I'm MC. Michael and I dated ages ago. Ancient history." I smiled, trying to let her know I was no threat.

  The agonized glance Michael shot me when nobody was looking, though, definitely was a threat.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Louisa was sweet, and her control over Aaron awe-inspiring, but she was the biggest wet blanket I'd ever met. Aaron, his usual jokes and innuendo off-limits, barely spoke, and so many topics weren't appropriate that there were long periods of awkward silence. I wasn't surprised when Summer said, "I'd love a swim. Anyone want to come with me?"

  "My knees say no," I said to Liv as nearly everyone else jumped up to change, "but you go if you want."

  She shook her head. "I'm here to see you."

  The swimmers changed clothes and split into two uneven groups. Dean and Valerie, Michael and Paige, and Kayla and her sister headed down the beach, a camera man trailing behind, to find the spot that Kayla said was perfect for a relaxing swim. The rest of the exes and visitors went down into the water, laughing and splashing each other and flirting, even the visitors taking no notice of the cameras.

  "I can sit with you, dear, and Liv, you can swim with Aaron and the others if you'd like."

  Aaron cast one last glance at Summer and her equally gorgeous friend and the rest of the women frolicking in the water then turned his back on them. "Actually, Mom, I'd like to talk to you alone, if you don't mind. MC, you'll be all right?"

  I nodded, surprised at his serious tone. Louisa was obviously surprised too, but followed him up the path toward the water hole, shooting a quizzical look at the trailing camera man.

  "Are you guys okay?" Kent said. The sight of him in his bathing suit, his body strong and sleek and deeply tanned, left me speechless. I looked away, hoping my reaction wasn't obvious.

  "We're fine," Liv said. "Go and have fun."

  Ron, who'd been standing behind Kent, took a step toward the water but Kent didn't move. "I feel bad you can't swim, MC."

  I swallowed and forced myself to turn back to him. Our eyes met and a shimmer of electricity snaked down my spine. Before I could answer, he crouched in front of me. "Are you sure you're okay?" He glanced at my knees. "It really does look sore. Is there anything I can do?"

  His eyes returned to my face, and I admitted, "It is sore. But it's not getting any worse, and you did lots when it happened."

  He dropped his gaze and pushed himself to his feet. "Well, have a nice time."

  "We will," Liv said, smiling at him and an uncharacteristically silent Ron. When they'd moved away, Liv hissed, "What did he do when you fell? You know he's the competition, right?"

  "Trust me, Dean made that very clear." I told her everything I could think of, what had happened at the contest and how Kent had supported me, then back to how difficult the first few days had been, and how the guys were at once the same and different as before.

  I kept it factual and unemotional, mindful of the camera behind us, but when I was finished, she shook her head. "I couldn't do it."

  "Sure you could," I began, but she cut me off. "No, I really couldn't. Surrounded by them, knowing how intimately they all knew me at one point? I don't know how you're surviving."

  "I don't think I've got much choice."

  "And what about seeing Kent? Isn't that tough?"

  I shrugged. "Again, not a lot of choice. Besides, what's done--"

  Her eyes flashed with enough lightning to burn down the jungle. "Don't say that again. It shouldn't have been done, and you know it. 'What's done is done.' You say that for everything now, and I hate it."

  "I do?"

  She nodded. "After you broke up with Michael. When Aaron stopped calling and I thought you should go after him. You said it when Dean was being clueless, and even when Craig thought you should tell Greg why you were dumping him."

  So, every relationship since Kent. I studied the ground. "I didn't realize."

  She sighed. "I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I just don't want you to miss all the opportunities in life."

  "Hey, I went after this dating show opportunity, and look how that worked out."

  We exchanged wry smiles, then she said, "Speaking of dating, Craig says if you hook up with 'that flake Aaron' he'll give you the wedgie of a lifetime."

  "Tell Craig he can stick his wedgie where the sun don't shine."

  "I think that's the plan."

  We laughed, then she narrowed her eyes and studied me. "I like him."

  "Craig?" I said, confused.

  She glanced pointedly toward the path Aaron and Louisa had taken then back at me.

  "Aaron? But you've always been into blonds."

  "Not for me." She gave me a 'how stupid are you?' look.

  "He doesn't want me."

  "Takes care of you, cooks for you, hits Dean because Dean might have been thinking about hurting you. No, you're right, he's obviously not interested."

  I rolled my eyes at her, and we sat in silence. She was right, Aaron was being amazing. His kiss on my forehead after I fell, though, had been anything but lover-like. I hadn't told Liv about it; it had been so sweet I didn't want to spoil it. But I was pretty sure he wasn't interested.

  Valerie headed toward the latrine, looking straight ahead. I noticed an emerald ring on her right hand's middle finger, the stone small but the brightest green, and blurted, "I love your ring" before I could stop myself.

  "Thanks," she said without slowing down. "It was my grandmother's."

  I sighed once she was gone. "It's so nice to be liked."

  Liv patted my arm. "I like you, and so does Craig, and Colin adores you."

  "How is he?"

  "He's fine. I checked with Craig yesterday because I knew you'd ask. That specialist in New York agreed to see him, but it won't be for another three months."

  "How much'll it cost?"

  She shrugged. "You know Craig. 'More than I've got but less than I wish I had.'"

  "If I win the million--"

  "He said to tell you he won't take a cent from you."

  "Tell him Aaron's teaching me to punch, and he'll take whatever I tell him to take."

  She laughed. "Will do."

  After a while, Valerie came back, turning her head away as she passed us. Once she left the clearing, Liv said, "What has Dean told her about you?"

  "Who knows. All good stuff, apparently." Since the latrine was now obviously unoccupied, I decided to take advantage. "You wouldn't have a tampon on you, would you?"

  I knew she would; Liv was always prepared. She handed one over, then said, "Your body has great timing, my friend."

  I shook my head. "You don't know the half of it, but I'm sure they'll air the whole thing."

  "I don't look forward to it," she said, smiling at me.

  When I returned to camp, glad to know my period was nearly over, Aaron and Louisa were sitting with Liv. Aaron stood up at my approach. "You okay, baby?"

  "Fine," I said, returning to my original rock. "How are you two?"

  To my surprise, he sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders, drawing me closer. "We're good. Had a nice talk. You?"

  I looked at him and felt myself go warm and fuzzy. Could Liv be right? There was definitely something between Aaron and me, something I'd never noticed before. "It was great," I said, feeling shy.

  He smiled. "Glad to hear it."

  The four of us chatted, Aaron's arm around me studio
usly ignored by his mother and Liv, until the others came up from the water. Louisa was in the midst of a long and rambling story about Aaron's childhood when they arrived so I kept my attention on her instead of them. When she finally finished, I smiled at her then looked up at the newcomers.

  "We figure you've got about fifteen more minutes, MC," Ron said. His eyes were fixed on my face, ignoring Aaron, who tightened his arm around me.

  "That's all?" I turned to Liv. "I don't want you to leave."

  She leaned forward to hug me, and Aaron released me so I could reciprocate. "Ditto," she said, patting my back and then getting to her feet. "So let's have fun with the rest of the time. I'm actually hungry again. Any chance of more food?"

  "Of course," Kent said. "And you need to take back that fruit, MC. They gave us plenty."

  I shook my head. "It was the cost of being here, and it's been worth it, so you keep it."

  He looked doubtful. "But then you won't have anything to eat."

  "We won that fishing spear," Aaron said, "and we'll find more fruit. We're fine."

  He and Kent locked eyes, then Kent said, "Okay, as long as you won't starve."

  "We won't," Aaron said, then turned to help his mother up.

  Ron clapped Kent on the shoulder. "How do we get into these coconuts?"

  All too soon, I heard the boats. I tried to ignore the sound, hoping I was wrong, but my exes' expressions made it clear they'd heard it too. In seconds, it was loud enough that the visitors recognized it, and we moved, as slowly as we could, to the shore.

  Peter disembarked and said, "Had a nice time, folks?" We all nodded, and he said, "Good. Princess's Court, you've got a minute to say your goodbyes and then we need your visitors on these two boats. Once they've headed out, the next two boats will take you home."

  Liv hugged me tight. "I wasn't going to cry."

  "Don't, or you'll get me going. Have a good trip home."

  Louisa moved in as I reluctantly let Liv head for her boat. "Take care of yourself, dear, and if Aaron gives you any trouble--"

  "He won't." Aaron came up beside me.

  "If he does," she went on as if he hadn't spoken, "you let me know."

  I laughed. "Will do."