by Shayla Black
“It’s no problem. I’d do anything for you.”
“I know. And you mean the world to me, but…Buddy and I want some alone time. And, well, you’re cramping our style.”
Beck raised a brow. “You’re kicking me out?”
“Think of it as me letting you get back to your life. To Heavenly.”
“Uh-huh. You just want to fuck Buddy’s brains out.”
“Yep.” She grinned.
Buddy choked on his steak, then tried to recover. “I’ll take good care of her, now that she’ll let me. I popped the question a few minutes ago and she said yes.”
Gloria flashed a modest engagement solitaire and a beaming smile.
“Congratulations!” Beck hugged Gloria, then clapped Buddy on the shoulder.
“Thanks,” the other man continued. “I’ll be moving in with Gloria. And I’m going to take her to the ‘office’ with me tomorrow night. Her girls are missing her something fierce.”
“Don’t scowl at me, Ken.” Gloria shook her finger. “There’s a bed in my apartment. I can convalesce there as easily as I can here. But you need to worry about your own problems. I’ve kept you from your job, your life, and your girl long enough.”
“I wanted to ensure you got the best medical care. And I knew I’d have to stand over you to make your stubborn ass follow doctor’s orders.”
“Stubborn?”
“I know you too well.”
“True. I’m glad we got everything straightened out. After dinner, you can pack your shit and go back to LA so Buddy and I can get naked.”
Beck pinned the other man with a pointed stare. “You sure you know what you’re getting yourself into with her?”
Buddy settled a delighted smile on Gloria. “I do.”
After dinner, Beck packed, then paused in the doorway, duffel in hand. “I’m leaving. No going to the grocery store alone anymore, all right?”
“You got it,” she promised.
“I’ll make sure of that.” A beaming Buddy slung his arm around Gloria’s shoulder. “Now go home and get your own girl.”
December 22
Seven weeks earlier
Seth flew all night to reach home, getting zero rest on the plane. Every time he shut his eyes, he saw Heavenly’s last forlorn glance.
He’d begun yesterday full of hope that he would finally have her. Today, he was three thousand miles away, greeted by a New York sunrise shrouded in gray drizzle.
When he stepped off the plane, festive wreaths, lights, and bells filled the terminal, assaulting him with holiday cheer. Sighing tiredly, he made his way to baggage claim, expecting to find his brother waiting to chauffeur him to the Cooper family house for a big, loud, probably white Christmas. Instead, he saw his mother…but not as he remembered her.
The gray streaks were gone from her dark hair. So was her usual messy bun. Suddenly, it was shoulder length and styled into loose feminine curls. Even her clothes looked more fashionable and flattering. The change startled him. Then again, at fifty-three, his mother was still a beautiful woman.
“Hi, Mom. Wow, you look great.” Seth hugged her as she rushed to greet him.
“Thanks. I decided to spruce up a bit for the holidays.”
It was more than a mere sprucing. She looked ten years younger. “Um, I thought Danny was picking me up. Is everything all right with Maggie and the baby?”
“Fine. The baby hasn’t come yet. I thought you’d be happy to see me. We haven’t been apart this long since I sent you away to that summer camp you hated when you were thirteen. But if you didn’t miss me, I can turn around and go home.”
“Sorry. Of course I missed you. It was just a long, sleepless flight.” He frowned. “You shouldn’t be driving in this crappy weather.”
“Pfft. I drove you boys to every sport in creation on slick streets for years. You have any other luggage?” She frowned at his duffel.
“Nope.”
“Then let’s go. Traffic is going to be terrible.” She threaded her arm through his. “It’s good to have you home.”
Seth wanted to say it was good to be home. Right now, it felt like hell.
No, it felt like defeat.
Emerging from the airport to a telltale overcast gray and the scent of snow after so many balmy blue Los Angeles days was a rude awakening. Seth hadn’t packed a winter coat. He’d worn a hoodie, which had been more than warm enough out west. Now, he was fucking freezing. He blew on his hands and rubbed them together vigorously.
“How’s everyone else?” he asked as they reached her car.
The West Coast sliding into the ocean had been only one of Seth’s fears before jetting out to LA. The other had been leaving his family. Since his father’s death, Seth had been head of the household. For fifteen years, he’d helped his mother cope, pay bills, maintain the house, and keep his four younger brothers in line. In the grand scheme of life, his three weeks’ absence equaled three minutes. But he also knew from experience things could go horribly wrong in the blink of an eye.
“Fine. Anxious to see you.” She cast him a curious glance. “We expected you home weeks ago.”
Yeah, he’d expected to be home much sooner, too. Seth didn’t have an excuse, other than his dick—and his heart—had been stupid. And he was fucking furious that he’d let himself be led around by either. But he kept that to himself.
“How’s Maggie feeling?” he asked as he climbed into the passenger’s seat and turned on the heater. “She’s getting really close to her due date.”
“The poor girl looks ready to burst, and last night was rough,” Mom answered as she pulled out of the lot.
“Danny handling that all right?”
Seth remembered the night Danny had shown up at his door and shoved a six-pack in his hands, apprehension blazing in his eyes. After shooting the shit and draining three beers, his brother had finally confessed that Maggie was pregnant. Seth had put on a big show of being happy for them and banked the rest, especially since his mother was thrilled. There hadn’t been a baby in the house for years.
“I think so. Matthew, Jack, and Conner are all good. And Matty has a surprise for you. He finished up the cradle you’d been making for Christmas.”
Seth scowled. “It was my gift. Why did he do that?”
“Oh, honey. He was only trying to help.”
He probably had been, but Seth had been looking forward to getting lost in the project. Carving something beautiful from a simple block of wood had brought him peace, especially in recent years. Matt finishing the cradle had robbed Seth of some much-needed serenity. Of course, Matt had done a great job. Their father had painstakingly taught them both to work wood. But having the ability to finish the cradle didn’t give Matt the right.
“Well, I’m here now, so I’ll put the beeswax on it before Christmas Day…or the baby’s birth, whichever comes first.”
“Matty did that, too.”
Seth stared. So basically, he was useless?
“Don’t scowl. The warm honey color looks amazing.” His mom patted his hand. “They’re going to be thrilled and touched by your gift. That’s what’s important.”
Since Mom was right, he let his irritation go. “Did the mattress arrive yet?”
“Yes. I tucked it away before anyone saw it.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“You’re welcome.” She sighed wistfully. “I wish your father was here to see our family now. But then, I tend to believe he’s only a whisper away, watching over us all…”
Seth had been sixteen when his father had been killed in the line of duty. That miserable day and the aftermath were still imprinted on his soul. The crushing shock. The parade of somber strangers who’d converged on their house. The funeral procession that had wound down the streets like an ocean of officers dressed in blue. The eerie wail of the bagpipes crying out “Amazing Grace” still haunted him. Despite the devastation, their mother had been a force of nature and seen the family through.
Years
later, tragedy had struck again. Though his family had rallied together with all their strength and love, it had taken years to heal.
Sometimes Seth wondered if he ever really had.
He and his mom each slipped into silence. Snow flurries began to sweep across the landscape as she navigated the busy roads brimming with both rush-hour and holiday traffic. His thoughts drifted.
Echoes of another Christmas slid through him. Then, like now, the city had been decorated in festive lights and snow blanketed the ground. As always, ghosts of guilt and remorse raked him. What-ifs echoed down the years, which would linger long after he and his mother had lit candles in remembrance.
Shelving his gloom, he turned and caught the knowing sadness on her face. “Try not to dwell on it, sweetheart. We’ll get through the holidays. We always do. Tell me about Los Angeles.”
The change of subject was a welcome reprieve, but the mention of LA launched images of Heavenly through his brain, huge blue eyes gazing up at him above her gorgeous smile. Her little laugh lingered between his ears. He could all but smell the intoxicating scent of her, something so unique that he’d recognize it—even blindfolded—in a crowded room.
Every moment he’d spent with her only made him crave her more.
But she’d chosen Beck.
Seth still couldn’t process that without his blood boiling. Hell, he couldn’t even remember the last time a woman had turned him down. He’d certainly never had one dump his ass.
It was done. He refused to be hung up on her. Heavenly wasn’t the only gorgeous woman in the world.
“The West Coast is an acquired taste.” He forced a smile. “Damn place is perpetually sunny and has a million palm trees. Did I mention the earthquakes, fires, and weirdos? And their traffic can be even snarlier than ours.”
“Oh, dear.” Grace cringed. “And Liam? How is he doing?”
“Better now.” Dancing through a minefield might be easier than explaining his friend’s unorthodox relationship to his very traditional Catholic mother, but he didn’t keep many secrets from her. “He’s in a serious relationship. Actually, he and Hammer both are—with the same girl. Raine is a little dark-haired spitfire.”
“She’s with them both? At the same time?” Grace gaped, eyes wide.
This conversation wasn’t awkward at all. “Yeah, Mom. It’s called polyamory.”
“Goodness,” she tsked. “How would you know that? Never mind. Don’t answer.”
He laughed, this time for real. His mother might suspect he had an interesting sex life, but she never asked. “Liam and Hammer are really happy with Raine. They’ve even got a baby on the way.”
“Oh. My. Well…babies are always a blessing.”
Seth knew what his mother was thinking. “You don’t have to worry. That kind of relationship isn’t for me.”
“Whew! I’ve always tried to be open-minded. Remember when you mooned over that grunge girl—”
“Mom,” he groaned. “I was fifteen.”
“But I don’t think I’m ready to handle something as unconventional as a threesome…”
“Put your fears to rest. Tell me, has Matt had any problems with the agency while I’ve been gone?”
“None.” She seemed happy with the change of subject. “In fact, he’s even started contacting the clients on your waiting list.”
First the crib, and now his business? Matt was taking care of every fucking thing these days.
Some part of Seth realized he should be thrilled and impressed. Instead, it just pissed him off that his younger brother had stepped into his shoes so easily. First, Heavenly hadn’t wanted him. Now, Matt seemed determined to usurp him.
“Well, good for him.”
Grace didn’t miss his sarcasm. “I thought you’d be happy that everything is going smooth as silk. Well, almost everything. The twins have been driving me batty—all the girls and booze and…I don’t even want to know what else. I’m sure the good Lord put Jack and Conner on this Earth to test my patience.”
“I’ll talk to them tonight.”
“Matt already did. They’ve been better since.”
Of course.
“In a few weeks, they’ll head back to college and the rest of you boys will go back to your lives,” she went on. “Then I’ll have the house to myself again, and I’ll miss the chaos. Maybe.”
He felt like snarling too much to share her laughter.
As his mother stopped at a red light, she turned to him, grin fading. “What’s wrong?”
Honestly, he couldn’t explain it. He should be happy he wasn’t coming home to a Christmas present unfinished, a business in shambles, and a family at each other’s throats. Instead, he was annoyed that the Cooper family didn’t seem to need him. If that was the case, why the hell was he here?
“Okay. Enough is enough.” Grace darted a concerned glance his way. “What happened in LA? You’re not melancholy about coping through Christmas. You’re pissy. Start talking.”
Though she’d been a wonderful wife and a terrific mom, the woman would have made a kick-ass shrink. Grace was intuitive and tenacious, especially when it came to her boys. Seth knew better than to feed her a string of platitudes. She’d only dig until she unearthed the truth.
He sighed. “I met someone…”
“Really?” She sounded shocked—with good reason. “That’s great. Why are you here, instead of with her?”
“Because it’s Christmas, and I’d never live to tell about it if I missed the holidays at the Cooper household. Plus, I have an agency to run. I can’t blow off my responsibilities indefinitely.”
“I’d miss you terribly if you weren’t here, but you deserve to spend your life with someone special. You’ve taken such good care of your brothers and me over the years. But your duty to us is done.”
Those words felt like a kick in the balls. Even his own mother didn’t need him anymore?
“Don’t look dumbfounded. I’m not trying to make you feel unappreciated. You’ll always be important to us, and of course we’re glad you’re home—”
“It’s fine, Mom.” It wasn’t, but nothing she said was going to change the fact she’d spoken about him like he was dead. Shit, he’d been gone three weeks, not three fucking years.
“I just don’t want you to feel like your obligations to the family or your job take precedence over your happiness.” She darted a firmer look. “Why didn’t you bring this girl home with you for the holidays?”
“Because she’d rather be with another guy.”
“Oh.” Finally, his mother looked as bewildered as he felt.
“Yeah. I only saw her a handful of times. We had one date. After all these years, my gut told me I’d met someone, but…”
In his mind’s eye, he could still see Heavenly, fingers clutching plastic grocery sacks and plodding toward a bus stop, head bowed. A part of him had itched to pull to the curb, drag her into the car, and kiss her until she forgot about Beck. The other part had been too shocked—and pissed—to do anything but drive away. No matter how many times he replayed their conversation, what he heard above everything else was that she didn’t want him. Oh, she’d been willing to have sex with him…but her heart belonged to Beck.
Fuck that. And fuck her, too.
“I understand. Your father and I took one look at each other and fell in love, but our relationship wasn’t without its trials. If you thought this girl was special—”
“I was wrong. End of story.”
“So that’s the reason for the long face. Who is this other guy?”
“Beck. He’s a pal of Hammer’s, a surgeon—and an asshole—way beyond Heavenly’s speed. I knew he was her friend,” he drawled. “I just didn’t know she wanted him to be more.”
And didn’t he feel like a fucking fool?
“Heavenly… Is she as beautiful as her name?”
He’d given her the whole speech, and that’s what she wanted to know? “Mom…”
“Is she?”
&n
bsp; He groaned. “And then some. But it doesn’t matter now.”
“Seth James Cooper, if you thought she was important, it does. You’re letting stupid male pride overrule your heart and backing down from a challenge. It’s unlike you.” She tsked. “What would your father say?”
He glared at her. “Don’t bring Dad into this.”
“I’m not trying to upset you. But when you find someone, you stay and fight. You know that.”
Seth was over this conversation. He was still shocked, not to mention bone-tired, disgruntled at all the changes, and fucking furious that everything had gone so wrong. “There was no reason to stay and nothing to fight for. Heavenly chose Beck. Game over.”
Grace pursed her lips together. “Tell me about her.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m your mother and I asked you to, young man.”
Great, now she was going to get stubborn. Since disrespecting her wasn’t in his genes, he sighed. “She’s a tiny little thing with blond hair. I’ve never met a woman so innocent. I enjoyed making her blush with just a few words.”
“Innocent and blushing?” She raised a brow. “That’s a departure from the women you’ve spent time with these last few years.”
How the hell did his mother know who he dated? Well, screwed. He never brought women home or talked about them. One of his brothers had obviously turned snitch. He held in a resentful sigh. Probably Matt.
“Heavenly is only twenty-two. She’s a baby inside a thoroughly gorgeous woman’s body. She cares about people. She’s studying to be a nurse. She’s kind and funny, and she has this pure heart…”
Just listing out her qualities crushed him again. Should he have tried harder? Done more? Said something else? Thrown caution to the wind and kissed her? Or just taken her to bed, despite her feelings for Beck?
“Oh, honey. She sounds wonderful, and the fact she made you feel hopeful and alive again is…” Pity lined his mother’s face. “Is there any chance you left too soon?”
“No, Mom.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair as his mom pulled the car into the driveway. “Let’s drop it, okay?”
The glow of the Christmas lights strung around his childhood home brought a bittersweet smile to his lips. Then a scowl replaced it. The snow had been cleared, not only from the driveway but from the front steps as well—a job Seth had always been responsible for. No doubt, Matty Poppins had taken care of that, too.
