Hearts Rekindled

by Patty Smith Hall

  “That seems odd.”

  “Not really,” Merrilee answered, smiling at the memory of Aurora’s explanation. Evans would probably be suspicious of the older woman’s act of gratefulness, but Merrilee knew it was nothing more than the truth. “Aurora sends thank-you notes to everyone who helped, and that book was her way of keeping track.”

  He flipped the pages, probably noting the same tiny entries Merrilee had noticed when Aurora gave it to her. “And what about John? Are we sure he’s the one who bought the old Todd place?”

  She’d already explained all this to the major. “He wants to have a home closer to our daughter.”

  Evans flipped the notebook on his desk and leaned back in his chair, his fingers steepled over his chest. “Wondered when you’d get around to telling me he’s the father of your child. But we still don’t know how he got the money. That farm cost a big chunk of change.”

  The hairs at the nape of her neck stood at attention. “Why are you suspicious of John all of a sudden?”

  Arched eyebrows rose over cunning eyes. “If I recall, you had your own suspicions about Davenport when he first rolled into town.”

  Merrilee felt her throat tighten. Yes, she realized she had, and in her blind determination to get to John’s real reasons for coming back to Marietta, she’d pitched him up to Evans like a hanging curve ball. It was up to her to rectify this. “I admit, I had my doubts, but not anymore. As far as buying the Todd place goes, I’m sure John bought it by saving every nickel and dime he’s made except for what he needed to live on.”

  Evans snorted. “I thought you were a smart woman, Merrilee, but you’re not giving up on him, are you? Even after he left you and Claire to fend for yourselves?”

  It was the closest thing she’d ever seen to an emotion in Evans, as if he found her actions disappointing. Well, she refused to rise to the bait. “What’s your point, Major?”

  Staring at her, Evans opened the top drawer to his desk, pulled out a folder and dropped it with a loud thump in front of him. “After you confirmed Davenport had set up an account for Aurora, I began digging a little deeper into your former husband.”

  Worry fluttered in her belly. John had been in and out of the Pacific for most of the past two years, and training Seabees before that. There was nothing dishonorable in any of that. So why did the major look so smug, like a alley cat who’d discovered another bowl of cream? “You’re wasting your time, Major.”

  Evans flipped open the first page. “Interesting reading. Seems your fellow has been up to no good.”

  She refused to be taunted. Grasping the armrests, she pulled herself to her feet. “If you’re just going to throw out accusations, I’m leaving.”

  “Did you know he’s been relieved of his post while under investigation for aiding and abetting the enemy?” The sound of turning pages echoed through Merrilee. “According to this report, he gave a Japanese family rationed items without a reasonable explanation as to how he obtained them.”

  The patterned floor beneath her feet began to swim in her view. Why hadn’t John told her about the investigation and the possible charges he faced?

  But he had, hadn’t he? At least to a point. John had always been up front with her about leaving, though he’d never shared his reasons, and he hadn’t lied about what he’d done for Peter when she’d asked him about the baby formula. No, John had told her everything, except the possible punishment he faced. So why had he withheld that part of the story from her? Had he hoped to protect her and Claire? It was possible. More than anyone, John understood the censure that would follow them around like a dark cloud if the charges stood, the same storm that had followed him all those years because of Mattie. Tenderness for the man who’d captured her heart as a young girl stole through her.

  The Lord moves in His own time.

  Aurora’s words came back to her with a clarity they’d never had before. Was that why she’d been placed in this position? So that God could use her to clear John? She bowed her head. Lord, give me the right words to say. Soften the major’s heart and let him recognize the truth. And, no matter what happens, let John know he’s loved.

  A peace she hadn’t felt in months slid through Merrilee as she settled into her chair again. “If you are willing to hear the truth about John, I need to tell you a story about a soldier with the 442nd. His name was Peter Oahu.”

  * * *

  Merrilee should have been back by now.

  John paced across the front porch, the sound of his boots pounding out a quicker beat with each passing moment. He stopped at the edge of the steps, cocked his head to listen, his ears honed for the high-pitched noise Merrilee’s truck made when she coasted to a stop.

  Nothing.

  He frowned. Maybe he should have gone with her, but someone had to stay with Aurora and the kids. He just wished he knew why it was taking her so long to make a doctor’s appointment for Sarah and check on things at the boardinghouse.

  He walked toward the swing, the warmth of the evening settling over him like a humid blanket, drowning him in a sea of worry and regret, the letter about his trial that Beau had delivered burning a smoldering hole through his renewed hopes for a future with Merrilee and Claire. He knew only too well what people would say when the charges were made public. The snide remarks, the stigma. Guilt by association would stain his daughter and ex-wife.

  John grimaced. Jacob Daniels must be turning in his grave.

  The screen door creaked open behind him. “Worrying a path out on my porch floor, son?”

  “Just thinking.” He stared off toward the dirt driveway; a faint haze simmered along the edge of the rocky ground. The planted fields would need rain soon or the plants would die before rooting deep. Not that he’d be here to see them grow to harvest either way. By then, his fate for the foreseeable future would be sealed.

  No sense feeling sorry for himself. It wouldn’t do any good. John turned and leaned back against the railing. “What are you doing up? I thought you were going to rest while Sarah is down for her nap.”

  The older woman stretched to one side, her hand pressed against her rib cage as if to balance herself. “I’m more worn out from being in that bed than anything to do with my heart. Between that and you pounding up and down this porch like you were hitting the beaches of Normandy, I’m surprised the baby is still asleep.”

  John reached an arm around the woman and tugged her into a maternal hug. “I’m sorry, Ms. Aurora. I didn’t mean to keep you awake.”

  “I can sleep when I’m dead.” She gave him a maternal shove to the chest. “So tell me. What’s troubling you, son?”

  Aurora had always been so good to him. He couldn’t burden her with his problems. “Nothing for you to worry over.”

  “You always were a closemouthed little fella. Worried me to no end, especially after Mattie passed.”

  “You worried about me?”

  She nestled her gray head against his shoulder. “Darling boy, there’s not been a moment since that day I found you in that store that you haven’t been in my thoughts. And every time I prayed, I asked the Lord to keep you safe and bring you back home if it was His will.”

  He swallowed against the hard knot forming in his throat. “But I stayed away for so long. Didn’t you ever just give up on me?”

  “Oh, John.” Aurora tilted her head back until he stared into pale gray eyes sparkling with unshed tears. She gave his cheek a motherly pat. “Don’t you see how much you’re loved, how much you’ve always been loved?”

  John leaned forward and pressed his cheek against her forehead, the strength of the emotions rolling around inside him threatening to choke the air right out of his lungs. “But, I’ve always felt...”

  “As if you were all alone in this world. I know. I felt the same way growing up.”

  He frowned. Aurora
couldn’t know how he felt, could she? But then again he’d never heard her speak much about herself. “What do you mean?”

  John felt the sharp rise and fall of her rib cage against his side. “I had my first seizure when I was four years old—at least that’s what I’ve been told. The next one happened when I was six. They started coming with some frequency after that.”

  John had a sinking feeling he knew where this story was leading, but he asked the question anyway. “What happened?”

  “A few days shy of my eighth birthday, Mama and Daddy had me committed to the state institution down in Milledgeville.” Her voice cracked and she hesitated for a few moments before continuing. “I don’t remember much about that first year, except for wondering why Mama and Daddy had left me there. I figured I must have done something really bad because that place...” She swallowed hard. “Anyway, the seizures stopped as suddenly as they’d started. The state tried to send me back to my parents but they refused. I guess they were scared the seizures would start back up.”

  Dear Lord in heaven. She’d been so young, barely old enough to tie her shoes. And he’d heard whispers about the state institution, the stench and filth, patients dying in droves from dysentery and pneumonia. “How did you survive?”

  He couldn’t believe it when Aurora laughed. “The preacher from the local church started coming to the hospital once a week. I used to hide behind the long curtains near the patients’ beds and listen to him talk about a Father who’d love even the least of these, someone who’d never leave. I clung to those moments when the preacher spoke about Jesus, about His unconditional love until one day, I asked Him into my heart.”

  “I’ve done that already, so why do I still feel lonely?” John asked.

  Aurora wrapped one arm around his waist and hugged him close. “It’s a struggle every day, son, to accept that the Lord is always there. At first, you may have to remind yourself of that truth every second of every day, but as time goes on, the reality of it sinks into your heart.”

  I will never leave you nor forsake you.

  The verse he’d remembered from childhood seemed to shift the heaviness he’d always felt down in his bones. Maybe Aurora was right. Some time studying his Bible might help, too.

  “So tell me, son. What’s troubling you?”

  John lowered his gaze to the ground, his thoughts suddenly turning to his daughter. How would he feel if Claire refused to share her worries with him? His gut twisted at the thought. Why would Aurora feel any differently? “I have to leave.”

  “Has something happened?”

  Backing away from her, John shoved his hand into his back pocket, pulled out the folded envelope and handed it to her. The paper crinkled softly as she opened the folds and read. When she finally finished, she lifted her gaze to John’s. “Does Merrilee know about this?”

  “Everything except for the charges. I didn’t want to tell her until I had a hearing date.”

  Aurora folded the letter and handed it back to John. “You have to tell her.”

  “I know.” He rammed his fingers through his hair. “I just didn’t think it was going to be this hard.”

  Aurora scoffed. “You remember those verses in Genesis, right after Adam saw Eve for the first time? ‘And a man shall leave his mother, and a woman leave her home, and the two shall be as one.’ The truth is that loving someone is hard at times, but it’s going through that fire together, holding on to each other during those hard times, that forges two very different people into one mind and heart.” She rested her hands on his forearm, her dear face lifted to his. “I’ve watched the way you and Merrilee have dealt with the past few weeks. Yes, you’ve disagreed at times, but you’ve listened to each other and worked through the problems. And, if I’m not mistaken, you’ve grown closer to each other.”

  Not just closer, but more in love with Merrilee than ever. “I don’t want to leave her.”

  “Then tell her that. Give her your side of the story and let her decide if she wants to wait for you.” Reaching up, Aurora cupped his face in her hands, pulled him toward her and gave him a kiss on his forehead as if he were still a young boy.

  “Thank you, Mama.”

  A grinding noise from the front lawn turned his attention to the rickety old blue truck bouncing its way up the drive, a cloud of red dust trailing behind like wispy flames. Through the dirty window, Merrilee sat primly, her hold on the steering wheel unyielding, but even from his vantage point, John could sense a lightness in her eyes, a slight lift at the corners of her mouth that gave him hope.

  “I’ll watch the children while you two have your talk,” Aurora said, patting him on the arm before moving away. She was halfway to the door when she turned to him again. “I’m praying for you both, John.”

  He nodded. What had he done to deserve a mother like Aurora? Thank You for my mother, Lord, and for never abandoning me. Be with me as I talk to Merrilee. Give me the right words to speak. Let Thy will, not mine, be done.

  With a deep breath, John waited at the top of the stairs as Merrilee pulled the truck up alongside the barn and cut the engine. A few long moments later, she walked across the yard, her navy blue skirts swaying with each step, her cream-colored purse tucked neatly under her arm. As she came closer, her lips lifted into a flirtatious smile that made his heart hammer against his rib cage. “Hey, you.”

  “Hey.” His voice came out in a whispered growl, and he coughed before continuing. “I thought you’d be home before now.”

  Her smile dimmed just a bit. “I had to take care of some things. How are the kids?”

  “Fine, Ms. Aurora’s keeping them occupied in the parlor.”

  “And the baby?”

  There was such tender concern in her voice. He wondered if his daughter knew how blessed she was to have this woman for her mother. “Down for a nap.”

  “Good.” She stood at the bottom of the steps, a sudden awkwardness to her silence that John recognized as nerves. Had she picked up on his uneasiness? Was that why she seemed to be walking on eggshells now?

  Or was she anxious about something else?

  “Can we talk for a second?”

  John blinked. That was supposed to have been his line. “Sure.” He held out his hand to her, surprised by the slight tremble in her fingers before she grasped his. “Did something happen while you were in town?”

  She didn’t answer, just clung to his hand tighter as she took the last two steps onto the porch. She tilted her head toward the porch swing. “You want to sit?”

  John nodded, worry knotting in his stomach with each step he took. What could have Merrilee this wound up? Had something happened at the boardinghouse? Was something wrong with Maggie or Beau?

  He’d barely slid into the space beside her before speaking. “What’s wrong? Why are you acting so funny?”

  “I’m not sure where to start.” Merrilee stared off down the length of the porch, white teeth worrying the pink flesh of her lower lip. “Maybe Daddy was right. Maybe it’s better just to rip the bandage off rather than pull it off slowly.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I know. I’m messing this up.” She drew in a deep breath as if it might be the last one she’d take for a while. “The truth is I’m an informant for Major Evans over at the bomber plant.”

  This still wasn’t making any sense to John. “But you don’t work there.”

  “No, but I have a houseful of boarders involved in various stages of the B-29 development staying in my home.” She hesitated slightly. “And last year, one of them was targeted by a German sympathizer to be kidnapped and sent to Berlin to work for the Nazis.”

  John stared off aimlessly. Beau had told him about his wife, how Edie’s father had tried to press her into service for the Germans. He glanced back at Merrilee with new admiration. Why in the world ha
d he underestimated this courageous, determined woman who’d battled the worst life had to throw at her and still managed to love with her whole heart? John hoped one day he could be so brave.

  Like today.

  “I have to leave, Merrilee,” John stated quietly, watching her expression for any response.

  “I know. I went to Major Evans’s office this afternoon to resign my position, and he showed me your file.”

  The muscles in his chest contracted into crushing pain at a new thought. “Did you give him any information on me?”

  She hesitated for half a second. “Yes.”

  John bounded up, the wooden swing pitching violently, much like his warring emotions, his mind numb with the reality of what Merrilee had done. He paced the length of the porch, turned then marched back. “You resigned?”

  She gave him a slight, sad smile. “Well, it wasn’t as if I was good at it or something. And I hated the way I felt doing it, suspicious of every little thing, betraying the people I care about the most. That’s just not who I am.”

  At least she recognized it for what it was. Maybe one day he’d understand why she’d felt the need to do it. Even now, in the midst of immeasurable pain, he knew he’d forgive her.

  “Would you like to know what I told Major Evans?”

  John blinked. There was compassion in her question, almost a sense that she wanted to make things right. But that wasn’t possible now, was it?

  All things are possible with God!

  The swing shivered as Merrilee deposited her purse on the seat and stood, her hands folded in front of her, her lean fingers clasped as if in a desperate prayer. “Evans didn’t have any of the information about Peter being with the 442nd. Once he put a call through to the War Department and received confirmation about Peter, he contacted one of his friends at army headquarters. They’re sending your friend’s paperwork to the Naval Command where your hearing will be held.”