Isle of Hope

by Julie Lessman

  A nerve twittered in his jaw. “No—he’s the outsider here now, not me.”

  She paused, face crimped in concern. “Are you sure you’ll be … okay?”

  He gave a short nod and prodded her toward the door, his palm warm at the small of her back.

  Exhaling a weary breath, Tess stepped out on the patio with Ben close behind, the sounds of Davey’s excited chatter dominating the table where Adam now sat in Ben’s place. Well beyond dusk, a tiki torch flickered shadows across his handsome face, giving him an ethereal look that made the whole thing seem like a dream.

  Or a nightmare.

  “Mom, look—Daddy’s home!” Davey shouted, and Tess’s stomach bottomed out when Adam’s gaze connected with hers.

  “Hello, Tess,” he said quietly, rising with that faint half-smile that had always reminded her of a young Dennis Quaid. His gaze flicked to the man behind her and he nodded, his smile intact despite the barest stiffening of his jaw. “Ben.”

  “What are you doing here, Adam?” Tess said, too flustered for niceties. She clutched her arms to her waist. “I thought you were in Zambia.”

  “I was, just got back.” He directed another quick glance at Ben before offering a conciliatory smile to Tess. “Look, if I’m interrupting, I can always come back later …”

  “No, Daddy—you’re not!” The plea in Shannon’s voice, soundly echoed by Davey, matched the one in her eyes. “Is he, Mom?”

  “No, of course not,” Tess said in a rush, cheeks warming at her appalling lack of manners. “We were just about to have dessert in honor of Jack and Lacey’s engagement, so you’re welcome to join us if you like.”

  “No kidding?” Adam turned to where Jack and Lacey sat at the end of the table, Lacey’s bright smile in blatant contrast to the scowl on Jack’s face. “Well, congratulations, Son, and you too, Lacey—I always thought you two were a perfect match.”

  “Thanks, Mr. O’Bryen,” she said with a proud grin, giving Jack a squeeze. “I think so.”

  “Daddy, where are you staying?” Davey asked with a tug of his father’s polo, which Tess suddenly noticed hung on a frame much thinner than she remembered.

  “I’m booked at Lovett’s Low-Country Motel, buddy, and if your mom says it’s okay, you can come stay with me for a night or two after I settle in.”

  “Wow, really?” Davey’s eyes all but bugged out of his head as he whirled toward Tess. “Can I, Mom, please, please?”

  “Of course, sweetheart.” Her smile returned to Adam, a hair tauter than before. “So, how long are you in town?”

  Hands in his pockets, he gave a faint shrug. “For a while—a leave of six months or so.”

  Tess caught her breath. Six months?

  “Why?” Jack’s voice held an edge that Tess seldom heard.

  His father glanced his way, and Tess noticed the stoop of Adam’s shoulders and the shot of silver at his temples, giving him a humble air that had never been there before. “To spend time with my family, Jack,” he said quietly, “if you’ll let me.”

  “Of course we’ll let you,” Shannon said in a firm tone that sounded far more like her sister than her, giving Jack a pointed look that challenged the frown on his face. She bumped Cat’s arm with her elbow. “Won’t we, Cat?”

  Not a staunch defender of her father in the past, Tess always had to prod Cat to join Shannon and Davey on their parental visits, her relationship with Adam as rocky as Shannon’s and Davey’s were smooth. Sitting hunched at the table, she now stared at a water bottle in her hands, her voice barely audible. “Sure.”

  “Good.” Adam’s chest expanded and contracted as if he’d been holding his breath, and pushing his chair in, he faced Tess once again. “Then I’ll leave you all to your celebration and check back tomorrow.”

  “No, stay, please—for dessert at least,” Tess said, shocked at the words that so easily rolled off of her tongue.

  “Mom.” Jack’s eyes almost singed as he stared her down, tension crackling in the air at his obvious displeasure.

  Mamaw was on her feet in a heartbeat. “Tess, would you mind terribly if I had Nicki and Matt drive Spence and me home before dessert? It’s been a lovely afternoon and evening, but I’m feeling the effects of my age, I’m afraid, and ready for an early night.”

  “Oh, Mildred, no—not before dessert!” Tess tucked an arm to Mamaw’s waist. “I just need to brew a pot of coffee, then it won’t take but a few minutes to bring everything out.”

  Mamaw patted her hand, sympathy shadowing her smile as she glanced Adam’s way. Her head lowered along with her voice. “I think your family may need some private time, dear.”

  “But what about Spence’s pie and ice cream?” Davey asked, a pinch of alarm in his face at the prospect of his best friend going home.

  Mamaw smoothed Spence’s hair. “Don’t worry about Spence, Davey—I have another pie in my pantry, along with cinnamon ice cream in the freezer.” She winked at Nicki. “Only one of the many ploys I use to lure Nicki and Matt over to see their old granny.”

  “Mamaw!” Nicki feigned offense, the semblance of a smile forming on her lips. “I would come over without pie and you know it.”

  “But not as quickly,” Matt said, slinging an arm over her shoulder, “right?” She elbowed him, and he pretended to double over in pain, sliding Jack a sideways grin. “You sure you know what you’re doing, Jack? Marriage can be a dangerous proposition.”

  “Trust me, I know,” Jack said, cinching Lacey closer while he shot his father a cool look.

  “I’ll show you ‘dangerous.’” Nicki bent to give Lacey a hug before looping Mamaw’s arm and ushering her toward the driveway. “Thanks, Tess, for a wonderful dinner. Bye, all!”

  Goodbyes echoed down the driveway as Davey climbed into Adam’s lap, his daddy’s arms slipping around to hold him tight.

  “Tess, I think I’ll head home too.”

  She spun around at the sound of Ben’s voice, stomach cramping at the hard cut of his jaw. “I’m so sorry,” she mouthed, then raised her voice. “Let me wrap up some pie.”

  “No, I’m not hungry.” He stood there, ill at ease, and she ached to touch him, hug him.

  Lacey started to get up. “Daddy, I’ll come with you—”

  “No.” The faint smile on Ben’s face clashed with the sharpness of his tone. “This is your engagement celebration, Lacey—you stay with Jack.”

  She slid back in her chair, and Jack hooked her close.

  Tess couldn’t help it. She gently touched Ben’s arm. “I’ll save you a piece.”

  He nodded, his eyes piercing hers before he turned to go with a half-hearted wave. “Good night, everyone.”

  More goodbyes rang out as Tess watched Ben disappear down the driveway, and whirling around, she pressed her palms together with a smile that felt forced. “Well, okay … who wants coffee with their pie?”

  “I don’t want pie, I want the truth,” Jack said to his father with a menacing glare. “We’ve gotten along just fine all these years without you, so why are even you here?”

  “Jack!” Tess’s shocked response collided with Lacey’s, both with mouths agape.

  Adam held up a hand as if to calm their responses. “No, Tess, it’s a fair question, and one I’d like to answer.” Despite the rancor of Jack’s look, his father merely offered a sad smile, his voice kind, but tinged with regret. For the first time, Tess noticed the dark circles under his eyes. “I came home to spend time with my family, Jack, and to try and make up for some of the damage I’ve done.”

  “Too late,” Jack bit out, then seemed to calm somewhat when Lacey stroked his arm.

  “No, Son, it’s not,” he whispered, a strange aura of peace surrounding this man who’d once pulsed with so much passion and life. He pressed a kiss to Davey’s head while he snuggled him closer, his eyes never straying from Jack’s. “But someday it will be, and I can’t live with myself if I don’t at least try.”

  Tess’s lungs closed in, the tenor of
his tone weakening her limbs. She slowly sank into her chair, painfully aware that his face was pale to the point of ashen, a total departure for the outdoorsman with the perennial tan. “What do you mean?” she whispered, praying it was her imagination that made him appear almost sickly. His eyes rose to meet hers, and in one violent beat of her heart, she knew. Her voice came out fast and clipped. “Davey, it’s time to get ready for bed, sweetheart.”

  “But Daddy’s here—”

  “He’ll be here when you get done,” she said quickly, gaze fused to Adam’s. “Go brush your teeth and get your jammies on, then Daddy’ll be in to read a story and say your prayers, all right?”

  Davey heaved a sigh as he slid off his father’s lap. “Okaaaay,” he said, dragging the word out as he slowly trudged inside.

  As soon as the screen door closed, Tess leaned in, palms pressed to the table while she stared Adam down. “I want the truth, Adam—are you sick?”

  She saw a glimpse of that secret smile she once loved as he lowered his head. He ruffled the back of his hair with the flat of his hand like he used to whenever he was figuring out what he wanted to say. When he finally glanced up, the smile he wore was so boyishly sweet that she remembered just why she’d fallen in love the first time. “Come on now, Tess,” he said with a glint of the tease that had once fluttered her stomach, “Did I really look this bad when I wasn’t?”

  “Daddy!” Shannon jumped up and rounded the table, crouching beside him to caress a hand to his back. “This isn’t funny. What’s wrong with you?”

  He scooped her into a side hold, ducking his head to hers. “No, I don’t think it’s funny, Shan, but sometimes it’s easier to tease than to cry.” His eyes shuttered closed while he pressed a kiss to her hair. “Like now.”

  “Are you going to tell us or not?” Cat demanded, thumping a fist on the table. “Give us the truth now, Daddy, and don’t sugarcoat it.”

  Arm braced around Shannon’s shoulders, he looked up, his sorrowful gaze traveling from Jack to Cat before lighting on Tess. “I have stage-four pancreatic cancer,” he said quietly, “and they tell me there’s nothing more they can do.”

  “No!” Shannon’s voice broke on a sob, and she clutched him all the tighter while Cat just sat there frozen in shock.

  “How long have they … ?” Jack’s voice cracked, sounding nothing like before.

  Adam looked up at his son, tenderness swimming in his eyes. “Six months or less, Jack,” he whispered, pausing to grace each of them with a wistful smile. “So I was hoping—well, praying, really—that maybe I could spend my last Christmas with my family.”

  “Oh, Adam … ” Tess jumped up, a heave swallowing his name as she flew to his side, clinging while she wept on his chest. In a heartbeat, Cat was beside them, the four of them in a huddle of mourning while Jack sat paralyzed at the end of the table, a hollow look on his face.

  “Okay, Dad, I’m ready!” The screen door slammed as Davey dashed out, skidding to a halt at the sight of everyone’s tears. “What’s wrong?” he asked, blinking at his family as if they’d all lost their minds.

  Arms around Tess and his daughters, Adam laughed despite the tears in his eyes, giving each of them a squeeze before he stood to his feet. “Aw, everybody’s just happy to see me, bud, that’s all. Hey, you still have those Power Ranger books I gave you for Christmas last year?”

  “Yes!” Vaulting into the air in his Power Ranger pajamas, Davey gave a fist punch.

  “Good, then let’s go tuck you in and do some reading.” With a press of Tess’s hand, he deposited a kiss to each of his daughter’s cheeks before turning to face Jack. “It’s good to see you again, Son,” he said, “I’ve missed you.”

  Mouth compressed in a scowl, Jack gave a curt nod instantly betrayed by a glaze of moisture in his eyes.

  “For Pete’s sake, everybody, enough with the crying—we have books to read.” Adam chuckled as he pulled away, swiping at his face with a grin that transformed him into the husband and father they’d all known and loved. “And since Power Rangers don’t cry, that includes me too.” Despite his thinner stature, he promptly swooped Davey up and tossed him over his shoulder. “Come on, Mack, let’s go fight some evil before I head on home.”

  Tess watched him lumber toward the door, and with a wrench of her heart, she knew what she had to do. “No,” she called loudly before Adam could even enter the house.

  He turned at the door, a gouge in his brow while Davey continued to wiggle. “What?”

  Squaring her shoulders, she took a step forward with a stern cross of arms, the seeds of a smile squirming as much as Davey over Adam’s shoulder. “I’ll not stand by and watch you subsist on vending machines and fast food at a motel, not when we have a perfectly good bed that Matt no longer uses.”

  He blinked. “Here? You want me to stay here?”

  “Yes, yes, yes!” Davey shouted, rocking poor Adam so much, he had to hold on to the jamb of the door.

  She cocked her head. “Well, yes of course—unless you’re partial to the turndown service at Lovett’s, because there’s definitely no maid service here.”

  It was a tossup over which spread faster—the moisture in his eyes or the grin on his face. “I can be a slob, Tess, or have you forgotten?”

  Her lip quirked. “A wise woman does not forget the vices of an ex-husband, Adam.”

  The smile faltered on his lips as his gaze swept past her to Jack and the girls. “And it’s all right with the kids?”

  “Absolutely,” Shannon shouted, hooking her arm through her sister’s. “Right, Cat?”

  Cat shrugged her shoulders before sending her father an evil grin. “Sure—one more person to take a week of dishes sounds pretty good to me.”

  Adam flashed some teeth before his smiled dimmed. “And, Jack? You okay with this? Because that means we’re bunkmates, so if you’re not, there’s no way I’m staying.”

  “No, I want Daddy to stay in my room,” Davey insisted, eyes round in appeal.

  Tess glanced from Davey to Jack, well aware that with Jack and Lacey’s whirlwind wedding just three weeks away, Jack would be moving out. They could certainly move Matt’s twin bed into Davey’s room till then. “Well, maybe just till Jack leaves, Davey, then Daddy will need his own room, okay?” She studied the frown on Jack’s face, praying he would understand.

  All eyes homed in on a stone-faced Jack, arm draped over Lacey’s shoulder. Even from a distance, Tess could see the almost imperceptible grind of his jaw. Lacey peered up at him, and Tess suspected she’d given Jack’s leg a squeeze under the table because he finally answered, his voice little more than a croak. “Sure. Majority rules.”

  “Yay!” Davey bucked and kicked in joy over Adam’s shoulder while Shannon bolted for the door, hugging her dad before scooting past. “I’ll go put some fresh sheets on Matt’s bed.”

  “I guess I’ll go make room in the bathroom closet,” Cat said with a heavy sigh that Tess knew was all for show. Her mouth crooked as she eased by her dad and Davey with a dry smile. “I got Matt’s shelf when we unloaded him, but I suppose you can have it till we kick Jack out.”

  Adam grinned, his gaze of gratitude locking with Tess’s with such force that her heart buckled in her chest. “Thank you,” he whispered before making his way inside.

  Expelling a wavering sigh, Tess turned to see Jack and Lacey rise from the table. “You’re certain you’re okay with this, Jack?” she asked, not quite sure what she’d do if he said no.

  He pushed his chair in and drew Lacey close, shooting her a tight smile. “It’s your house, Mom, and I’m gone in three weeks anyway, so I’ll adjust.” His shoulders lifted in a slight shrug. “Besides,” he said, a glint of moisture marring his gaze, “it’ll do our family good to be whole again for a while—” His voice cracked and he tugged Lacey toward the driveway, shooting Tess a broken look over his shoulder. “We’ll be on the dock, Mom.”

  “Okay, sweetheart,” she called, rubbing her arms from a sudden
chill that had nothing to do with the cool night air. Beau barked, and her head whirled toward Ben’s yard, the slide of his back door prompting more moisture in her eyes. The light through the hedge suddenly blurred into a million haloed stars, as foggy and out of focus as she.

  Oh, Ben, what are we going to do?

  But she already knew. She sensed it in her bones and could feel it deep in her heart. As much as she ached inside at the very thought, the burgeoning love between Ben and her would have to wait for God’s timing, if ever. Because the truth was, her children were too important … and so was the man who’d given them life. The same man she’d vowed to love for better or worse, in sickness and in health … No, not romantically anymore, although traces of the man who’d once stole her heart were still there—in his mischievous smile, in that little-boy twinkle, in the subtle tease of a tone that had never failed to coax her out of a bad mood. She loved him as the father of her children and as a man who despite the excruciating pain he had caused, was still a part of her life.

  Heart and hands trembling, she hurried into the kitchen to wrap pie for Ben, the sound of laughter from upstairs—Adam’s husky chuckles mingling with her children’s giggles—so surreal. She plunged the knife into the pie, the slice of the blade into the sweet not unlike what was going on in her heart—the sweetness of reconciliation marred by the bitter stab of what this meant for her and Ben.

  Pausing to make sure that the kids and Adam were still occupied upstairs, she slipped out the back door and hurried down the drive with the wrapped pie in hand. Her pulse boomed louder than the deep bongs of Ben’s doorbell as she shivered on his porch.