The sky above them now was a steely blue, the only hint of day a narrow shaft of gold on the far horizon. The sea looked almost black, its cresting waves pale and ghostly, while the distant masses of land were huge slumbering beasts. It felt miraculous to Kate that she was here at all, with a man who had made her feel so much braver and stronger, a man who made everything so much easier somehow. When she cast her mind back to the reasons she had found herself in Hvar throughout this strange meandering summer, it seemed as if they had happened to another person; a different Kate had stood up in that pub and asked James to marry her, and a new Kate was here on this boat now. Was this always the path her life was supposed to take? A reward, perhaps, for all she’d endured to get here.
Alex had slid one of his hands underneath the red hoodie, and Kate felt her knees give as his knuckles brushed against her breast.
‘You do realise,’ she murmured, ‘that we’re just heading out into open sea?’
Alex rested his chin on her shoulder and peered down at the dashboard.
‘The co-ordinates are right,’ he said. ‘We’re on course.’
‘Everything about this feels right,’ she said quietly, smiling as he pressed his legs more tightly around her.
Alex, in answer, allowed his hands to stray down below the waistband of her shorts.
‘Just hold on to the wheel,’ he whispered, as Kate let out a small groan of pleasure. ‘Don’t take your hands off the wheel.’
She made herself stare out across the water, trying her best to focus on the view and not what he was doing to her, so tenderly yet insistently, until everything started to blur.
Afterwards, she turned her head and kissed him.
It was getting lighter. They didn’t have long until the sun came up.
‘How much further?’ she asked, sidling in next to him on the seat.
Alex wrapped an arm around her shoulders. ‘We’re almost there – see those two outcrops of rock straight ahead?’
Kate squinted through the gloom. ‘Yes, just about.’
‘That’s the entrance to Stiniva Cove.’
‘The one that’s just been voted the best beach in Europe?’
‘Is that so?’
‘It is.’ Kate snuggled herself closer. ‘I cut the article out of the paper and put it up in the hostel reception. Wait a sec,’ she added, as Alex began to slow the boat, ‘that gap doesn’t look anywhere near wide enough for us to pass through.’
‘It isn’t,’ he said, looking slightly sheepish. ‘I’m afraid we’ll have to swim up to the shore.’
‘But I haven’t got my costume. What? Why are you laughing?’
Alex killed the engine and clambered around, fastening ropes to the mooring line in the water and checking that Siva was shut safely below deck.
‘You don’t need it,’ he said. ‘There’s nobody here but us.’
‘At the moment there isn’t – what if another boat turns up?’
Hopping down from the washboard, he unbuckled his shorts and let them fall to floor. ‘Unlikely,’ he told her, grinning as Kate’s eyes roamed hungrily down the length of his body. ‘But if it does, then so what?’
‘Then some random person will see me naked!’
Alex shrugged. ‘Lucky them.’
‘Can’t we just watch the sunrise from here?’ she pleaded. ‘From under a blanket together?’
‘Tempting.’ Alex stepped towards her and trailed a finger across her cheek. ‘But no.’
And before Kate had a chance to protest further, he’d turned and dived over the side, his lithe figure making barely a splash as it cut through the surface.
‘Wait for me!’ she called, whipping off her clothes and glasses and leaving them in a pile on the deck. She was not adept enough to dive, so she sat on the edge of the boat instead, shuffling forwards an inch at a time and holding her nose before allowing herself to plunge downwards.
‘It’s bloody freezing!’ she cried, surfacing to find Alex treading water a few feet away.
‘I’ll keep you warm,’ he promised, and she swam gratefully into his waiting arms, their bodies slotting together without thought or hesitation.
Rather than feel exposed, Kate quickly discovered that naked swimming was exhilarating. She felt free – untethered not only from her normal life but from her normal self, too. And while she and Alex might only be two tiny dots afloat in the vast ocean of life, to Kate, it felt as if they were the only things that mattered. The rest of her life – of their lives – would have to wait.
She still had her arms around Alex but disentangled herself as the two of them began to swim towards the cove. The water surrounding them was inky black, the cliffs on either side bleached from white to pale yellow by the emerging dawn. Once they were through the gap, the sea seemed to steady, while the waves that met the white-stone shoreline did so tenderly, with barely more than a soft whooshing sound. On the hillside above the half-moon beach, Kate could just make out a bristling halo of scrubby trees.
‘We should have brought the snorkels,’ said Alex. ‘There’s a baby swordfish right underneath us.’
Kate started. ‘What? Where?’
‘Don’t worry – it’s only the size of my hand.’
‘It won’t poke me, will it?’
Alex, who’d raised his eyebrows when she got to the word ‘poke’, assured her that no, it almost certainly would not.
‘I might go ashore,’ she said. ‘Just in case.’
Once she’d staggered across the chalky pebbles as elegantly as she was able, Kate sat down and brought her knees up to her chin, watching as Alex dived down over and over. The new day was creeping across the landscape and Kate gazed up towards a sky that was dip-dyed pink and gold. How often had she sat like this in London, she wondered – was it ever? Being here had made her appreciate how important it was to stop and look, to pause and reflect, to watch the world rather than focusing on the number of comments appearing below an online post. But it was not simply the magic of Croatia that she had to thank.
It was the person here with her now.
Alex crunched up the beach and flopped down beside her, shaking water off his dreadlocks as vigorously as a dog after a bath. Kate had never seen him this carefree and languid; he’d shrugged off his usual reserve and become more playful, rolling her onto her back so he could plant kisses all over her face.
‘You’re like a horny teenager,’ she said, laughing as he buried his head in her chest. ‘It’s almost as if you’ve never seen a naked woman before, which I know from our first encounter is definitely not the case.’
Alex gave her a look that was loaded with desire.
‘You aren’t just any woman. A naked Kate is better than a naked anyone else.’
‘Smooth talker,’ she said, taking his hand. ‘Thank you, by the way, for bringing me here. It really is beautiful – certainly worthy of an award.’
‘Unfortunately, winning a prize will only make this cove more popular,’ he said with a sigh. ‘It’s nowhere near as tranquil when it’s overflowing with boats, floats and—’
‘Goats?’ she interrupted, to which he responded by kissing her again.
‘It’s going to be another blinder of a day,’ she said, resting her head on his shoulder as they each basked in the mild sunshine. ‘Is it bad that I don’t want to go back to Hvar, to reality? I wish there was a way we could simply stay here.’
Alex picked up a stone and threw it into the water. ‘We can stay if you want,’ he said simply. ‘But if I know you as well as I think I do, then your conscience won’t allow it. You have people relying on you, a friend visiting, a new project.’
‘True.’
‘But if you genuinely wanted to go – to disappear for a while – I could make that happen.’
‘Don’t tell me you’re a magician as well as a carpenter-stroke-fisherman?’
‘You don’t need magic to vanish,’ he countered. ‘You only need to want to.’
Kate sat back up and t
urned from the view so she could look at him. ‘I don’t think I ever could,’ she said seriously. ‘I would feel too guilty. Plus, as much as this is nice – and it is, you know, it’s the nicest time I’ve had in as long as I can remember – there are other people to consider.’
Alex nodded, his pale eyes searching hers.
‘But we can do this again. I mean, if you want to. If I haven’t scared you off by flashing all my wobbly bits?’
‘I told you,’ he said meditatively. ‘You’re beautiful. I would have told you so the first time we met, if I hadn’t been naked at the time.’
‘And why haven’t you since?’ she teased.
‘I wasn’t sure you’d want to hear it, not from me anyway,’ he began, sitting up a fraction taller. ‘You seemed pretty focused on your ex.’
‘Let’s not talk about him,’ she pleaded. ‘Not here, not now. The James situation is . . . complicated. But I do feel as if I’m getting over it – over him. It’s just . . . oh, I don’t know.’
‘Hey, Kate – it’s OK.’
He wrapped his arms around her, and Kate allowed herself to melt into them. It was easier to chase away thoughts of James when she was kissing Alex, when she could give herself over completely to the feel of him, to his lips and his hands and his taste. Her body responded in such a way that left her impervious to any protestations from her mind and, for the time being at least, Kate was content to simply let herself fall.
Chapter 39
When Kate tiptoed back into her hostel room several hours later, she found the bed she and Robyn shared empty and the bathroom door shut. The temptation to knock loud enough to be heard over the shower and tell her friend everything was a strong one, but Kate resisted. Robyn would have an opinion – undoubtedly a strong one. Kate had insisted repeatedly that she did not like Alex in that way, that the two of them were simply friends and, more pressingly, that she was still in love with James.
She must not think about James.
There was no reason to think that anything had changed with him and, Kate noted, with something close to satisfaction, she realised that at this moment in time, she had no desire to see or even speak to him.
Sitting down, she reached for her phone and was still scrolling mindlessly when Robyn emerged, her dark hair plastered wet against her shoulders.
‘Oh, hello,’ she said, wrapping her towel around her chest a fraction tighter. ‘You’re back.’
‘I am,’ said Kate, being careful to keep her tone noncommittal.
Robyn rubbed at her eyes, which were ringed black by smudges of the previous night’s mascara. ‘You look . . . different. Your hair’s all crunchy. Have you been swimming?’
‘Yes.’ Kate drew the word out, stretching it like chewing gum across her tongue. It was no good, she wasn’t going to be able to keep what happened a secret – not from Robyn.
‘Kate Nimble,’ said her friend suspiciously, lowering herself down until their eyes were level. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’
Taking a deep breath, Kate relinquished the smile she’d been holding in.
‘Oh my god – I recognise that expression. That’s a sexpression!’
‘What are you, some sort of oracle?’ Kate laughed.
‘Tell me everything – immediately!’
‘Are you sure you don’t want a cup of tea fir—’
‘TELL!’
‘All right, all right.’ Kate held up her hands. ‘But you have to promise not to tell anyone.’
Once she had finished, Robyn simply sat and stared at her agape.
‘Shit,’ she said at last. ‘I mean wow. I didn’t know you had it in you.’
‘You make it sound as if I planned it,’ said Kate. ‘I didn’t – it just sort of happened.’
‘Didn’t it just,’ Robyn said slyly. ‘I knew it. I knew about two minutes after meeting him that the two of you were in love with each other.’
‘Hey! Who said anything about love – we aren’t in love with each other.’
Robyn made a ‘if you say so’ face.
‘We’re not. It was a bit of fun, that’s all. Sex between consenting adults.’
‘Kate, be serious, it was way more than that. The boat, the blankets, the deserted beach at sunrise – it was the whole romantic movie package. If it was just about sex, he would have banged you on the sunlounger and been done with it.’
‘Charming.’
‘I’m right though, aren’t I?’ Robyn was resolute. ‘About the love. And I’m all for it – he’s nice and seems like a straightforward kind of bloke. I think your heart would be in safe hands with him. But all that is immaterial if you only see it as a friends-with-benefits arrangement. Do you? Or are there real feelings there?’
Be brave. Tell the truth.
‘I guess there are some,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to label it yet, but I do know that when I’m with him, I just feel . . . I feel like myself. Does that even make sense? As if I’m me, but a better version of me. What? Why are you looking at me like that?’
Robyn was smiling at her indulgently. ‘Because you love each other.’
‘Stop saying that,’ Kate implored, banging her hands on the bed before burying them in her hair and tugging it down over her face. ‘Bloody hell – what am I going to do? How have I managed to get myself in this situation?’
‘This situation being: you like a man who likes you? What’s so bad about that?’
‘It’s way more complicated than that and you know it.’
‘Is it?’ Robyn said, her tone measured yet unequivocal. ‘Or is it very simple? You loved James; James left you. You came to Hvar and met Alex, now you love him instead. Sounds pretty simple to me.’
‘Stop using that word! I don’t love Alex. How can I? I barely know him. I don’t even know his last name,’ she added, the ridiculousness of that particular detail causing her to laugh despairingly. ‘And he lives here in Croatia; I live in North London. How would it ever work?’
Kate got up and began pacing around the room, stubbing her toe on one of the footstools she’d rescued from the skip and swearing with gusto.
‘You’re freaking out and there’s no need,’ soothed Robyn, getting up off the bed and pulling a dress out of her suitcase. ‘This isn’t the Grand National of relationships. You and Alex have only had sex once – you don’t have to make a decision about moving countries quite yet. Just wait and see what happens. You’re going to be here a while longer anyway now, to do the coffee shop refurbishment.’
Kate stopped pacing. ‘True.’
‘This thing between you and Alex might only be a holiday fling, but it could be more. The only way to know for sure is to keep meeting up with him for more of the great sex and see where it leads. I am right in thinking the sex was great, aren’t I?’
Kate suppressed a smile. ‘It was,’ she said. ‘But it was meaningful, too. There was nothing cheap about it, nothing that felt gratuitous. It was . . . adult, I guess. We were in synch.’
‘Uh-oh.’ Robyn was smiling her proud-mum smile again. ‘Sounds a lot like love to me.’
Kate put up the hood of Toby’s jumper and pulled the drawstrings until her eyes and mouth were hidden from view. Love was such a big word; she didn’t feel as if there was space for it in this room, let alone in her life. But if love wasn’t on the horizon for her and Alex, what was the point? She was thirty years old, a grown woman. She wanted to be caught, not flung.
Robyn had begun to slowly but firmly loosen the hood around Kate’s face.
‘You can’t hide from this,’ she said evenly. ‘And you shouldn’t want to. After everything you’ve been through with James, you deserve some fun. It’s what I’ve been saying all along. And I’ve seen you with Alex,’ she went on, sounding more earnest now. ‘I thought at first that Hvar was responsible for giving you this incredible new glow, but I see now that it’s more than that. He’s switched something on in you, a light that I haven’t seen for a long time. With James, I always felt a bit like
you were his court jester. You were always making light of things and clowning around like you did in front of the boys you fancied at school – but you’re not like that with Alex. You’re less jumpy, more comfortable in your own skin.’
Kate, who could not disagree with any of these observations, fell silent.
‘You want my advice?’ Robyn prompted and Kate nodded.
‘Please.’
‘Give this thing with Alex the chance it deserves. Stay here, do that coffee shop job, spend time with him, find out his bloody surname and,’ she added, as Kate smiled helplessly, ‘by the time you have to make a decision, you will already know what you want to do.’
‘Thank you,’ mumbled Kate. ‘I’m sorry I’m such an idiot.’
‘There’s no denying that.’ Robyn laughed. ‘Only you, Kate Nimble, would end up having the best sex of your life with a bloody cat watching.’
Chapter 40
It was with a surreal sense of happy bewilderment that Kate breezed through the rest of the day. Determined not to be a bore, she focused all her attention on Robyn, taking her into Hvar Town before treating her to lunch at one of the restaurants in the square.
She’d decided her friend was right and that the best course of action was to simply ride the wave of whatever this new thing was with Alex and not fret too much about the eventual outcome. There were so many uncertainties in Kate’s life, but her feelings towards Alex were one thing she could trust. Every time she allowed her mind to wander back to the events of the previous night, Kate found herself promptly aglow with happiness, and so when a message arrived from him later that evening, inviting her to join him on the boat after Robyn had gone to bed, she could barely tap out her affirmative reply fast enough.
There was no shyness in his manner this time, and Kate returned his kiss of greeting with such enthusiasm that she almost toppled them off the edge of the coastal path into the water.
‘Come on,’ Alex said, when the two of them finally broke apart. ‘I’m taking you on a midnight tour.’
Once they’d crossed in the dinghy and he’d helped her clamber up over the side of the boat, Kate settled herself down and watched as the lights from Hvar faded into the distance. It was a beautiful night, the sky every bit as clear as the water below it, while the soft breeze blowing in over the bow carried with it the scent of pine trees.
The Getaway: A holiday romance for 2021 - perfect summer escapism! Page 24
