Stars & Ashes (The Saoirse Saga Book 1)

by Teagan Kearney

  “Yes and no. I did say it, but I didn’t ask. To keep you safe, I shall formally make you my consort, whether you agree or not. How intimate or platonic our relationship will be is up to you.”

  Our relationship? What relationship? The atmosphere went from neutral, with the possibility of a warm front, to glacial in a blink. For a fleeting moment, he’d not been the enemy, but his words reminded her how unequal the relationship was between them.

  “I won’t force you to have sex with me…” he paused, his brow furrowing as if not knowing what to say next. “I have watched you since I brought you here, Kia, and you are a loyal and generous person. Even without the nanobots issue, your world is gone, you are alone and in need of a friend.”

  She stiffened. Her mind was fuzzy, her thoughts befuddled, and she hoped she wouldn’t blurt out anything she’d regret, but this option hadn’t been on the menu five minutes ago. “I’m satisfied to be a Chenjerai. I’m sure the protection you can give me as one of your guards fulfils your promise to my father, but I don’t want more than that. It’s a very kind offer, very thoughtful of you, and thank you for considering me. I’m honored, but no.” To be tied that closely to him, even as a pretense for public show, was asking more than she could bear. She’d barely begun to have faith in people again. The burden of being the Heir’s partner would be too much.

  “I admit it has been years since the emperor commandeered any of my personal guards, but he has in the past, hence that alone doesn’t ensure your safety from him.” He brought her yet another full glass. “I’m disappointed you feel like that, Kia.”

  Getting intoxicated sounded like a brilliant idea, and she drank the entire contents in a long glug, her throat working energetically.

  "As it happens, the decision isn't yours to make. Protecting you is my responsibility, and as I said before, I keep my promises. Besides, your courage has won a place in my heart. All it takes for you to be acknowledged as my consort is for you to sleep in my bed for one night.”

  She felt woozy. Did he say what she thought he’d said? He couldn’t make her agree to this silly arrangement. She wouldn’t allow it, and she struggled to sit up. She wanted to leave and go to her lovely new rooms, but her legs and feet were refusing to do what she required of them. Her head swam. Was he still talking? His mouth was moving and making noises though none of it made sense as her brain had turned to soup.

  “Be still, little bird, I won't force myself on you, but in this, you have no choice. I regret this cannot be more pleasant for both of us, but nothing will harm you now.”

  Her eyelids closed. She willed them open, but they refused to respond. She was vaguely aware of Rial picking her up, carrying her into the bedroom and laying her down with a gentleness she wouldn’t have believed he possessed.

  THE END

  Awakening Defiance, the second book in the Saoirse Saga will be released in December. Read on for a preview of the first chapter.

  The Saoirse Saga

  Episode Two

  Awakening Defiance©

  By

  Teagan Kearney

  Chapter One: Changed Circumstances

  The spray of cold water on her face shocked Kia into wakefulness. She blinked. Where was she? Her head was thick and groggy. She tried to sit up, but someone had poured a large bucket of wet sand inside her skull, and she fell back. The bed was soft, softer than any she could remember sleeping on. Someone dribbled a bitter substance into her mouth. “Ugh.” She attempted to turn aside, to spit it out, and prevent more of the nasty stuff sliding down her throat, but the firm hand pressing on her forehead foiled her efforts.

  She cracked her eyelids open, doing her best to limit the amount of bright sunlight making a full-frontal assault on her eyeballs, to find Lord Rial, the heir to the Nadil-Kuradi Empire, a few inches away.

  His eyebrows drew together as he studied her.

  Her fist flew, connected with his jaw, and he stumbled backward, the small bulb of whatever disgusting stuff he’d been trying to force her to drink splattering his uniform with dirty yellow streaks. “You drugged me!” She glared up at him, the drilling behind her eyes conspiring with a heavy lassitude in her limbs to make more movement impossible. “You’re no different from those slavers.”

  He rubbed his jaw as he retrieved the container. “I’m protecting you, and they would have sold you to the highest bidder. I also know what substances the nanabots will and will not reject. This is an antidote to the sed I gave you, so drink it voluntarily or I’ll force it down your throat, and if you keep trying to hit me I’ll tie you up, and then make you drink it.”

  She cursed him, the effort of hitting him leaving her too weak to protest. Opening her mouth, she swallowed more of the disgusting liquid surprised it stayed in her stomach.

  “Give it a minute and you’ll feel fine.” he said.

  The thought she’d never feel fine again crossed her mind.

  “What do you remember from last night?”

  She pushed herself upright. What did she remember?

  He had the grace to look guilty. “For your peace of mind, you should know I didn’t take advantage of you. I slept on the couch in the other room. Yes, I did drug you, and I won’t apologize, because otherwise you wouldn’t have agreed to spend the night in my bed. You can hate me all you want, but you’ll get over it. If my father gets hold of you, you’ll experience far worse than a restful night’s sleep in a comfortable bed.”

  He sounded almost annoyed that she would protest. “Says you, and it already has.” She pushed down the swell of frustration at her helplessness. “You shouldn’t have done that. You deceived me. What you did was dishonest, and I thought you were honorable.”

  “Enough arguing.” Impatience with her crept in. “It’s done. You have ten minutes to shower before you’ll have to accompany me to breakfast, and I think you prefer to enter the dining hall alone. Afterward Nagavi will give you and the other new Chenjerai an introduction to your duties.”

  She put her hands over her ears, blocking him out. Her scheme to assassinate Rial had been progressing as she’d intended until the previous night. This morning she was living in a nightmare.

  “I have plans, Kia, and I would like you to be part of them.”

  “What kind of plans?” That’s right, he was Jenèz, her father’s co-conspirator, and Jared, the brother she’d thought was dead, was safe. Her mood lifted. If Rial wasn’t the enemy anymore, the Emperor Teyrn certainly was. “How much power do I have as your whatever you call it?” She still couldn’t bring herself to say the word consort.

  His eyes narrowed, and a sly playfulness crossed his face. “That depends on our personal relationship.”

  She tilted her head to the side and studied him. His brown-gold eyes twinkled at her and his mouth wore a teasing smile. He was strong with wide shoulders, narrow hips, his muscles toned, an excellent fighter, and without his usual severe expression, he was someone who would charm her… if she let him. If she became his partner, didn’t that mean she would be cast off if his father chose a bride for him? She’d still be a member of the Chenjerai and would have to watch him join his life with someone who would bear his children. No, that wasn’t a road she intended to walk, but she didn’t think keeping him at a distance was going to be easy. Yet, if she could achieve the revenge she sought, she would have to consider what price she was prepared to pay.

  Twelve minutes after a lamentably quick shower—since working as a slave in the mines of Jahanamu it didn’t matter how long she spent in the shower, it was never enough—she sat on Rial’s left, with Nagavi opposite her on his right, at the top of a long table in the dining hall. She munched on a thick slice of delicious toasted bread topped with a tangy green paste, her emotions veering from elation that her brother was alive to despondency at the latest predicament she found herself in.

  “What’s today’s schedule?” Rial asked Nagavi.

  “Your father requests you present yourself well before the banquet.
Annen will organize transport. General Zakale is due shortly—and we’ll be lucky if he’s gone by lunch.”

  Kia kept her gaze down taking quick peeks at Rial and noticing how his mouth turned down just a fraction when Nagavi mentioned the Emperor. Tonight she’d find out firsthand the reality behind the name that filled the galaxy with dread. She glanced around the table, watching the men and women of the Chenjerai as they relaxed and chatted as they ate. She caught Jalux staring at her with an odd expression. When he realized she was looking at him, he looked away.

  Just at that moment Rial dumped a generous dollop of colorful fried vegetables on her plate. “Try,” he said, “it’s a specialty of Djem.”

  He was feeding her in public! Was she three years old? Her cheeks flamed, and she stabbed the shiny red and green herb covered strips, shunting them around and imagining everyone at the table staring at her. She couldn’t wait for breakfast to finish. It galled her no end that he’d taken no notice of her refusal last night, and this morning acted as if they were an intimate couple. She looked up and caught Nagavi eyeing the blooming bruise on Rial’s jaw. He looked at her speculatively and winked.

  That was it. She stood up, shoved her plate aside, and stamped out. The door slid shut behind her, depriving her of the opportunity to slam it. She pressed her forehead against the wall and heard Rial say, “No, leave her. She needs time. Protocol’s not important.”

  She didn’t wait to hear more but set off for the gymnasium where she intended to run circuits until her fevered brain cooled.

  Nagavi, with Ohiko, Timaiko and Jalux in tow, found her an hour later. Pushing herself hard and pounding around the hall until her muscles ached and sweat ran down her back eased the outrage and frustration, and she’d achieved a certain equilibrium. Not as much as she’d like, but she was moving forward on the premise that having slept in the Heir’s bed, he would accept it was sufficient to protect her from whatever threats existed, and she would be polite but distant. Tonight she’d sleep in her new living quarters and shove the couch against the door to his rooms. That way she’d have a few minutes warning if he tried anything.

  Kia trailed behind the others as they followed Nagavi along a corridor that ran the length of the building and out a door at the opposite end of the palace to the gymnasium. Her mind was stuck chasing the same objective—what did being Rial’s so-called consort mean for her? When he wasn’t in front of her dominating the space, her attention, and everything in sight, she could think. He’d taken her view of the world, broken it into pieces, and put it back together with all the parts in different places. If she gained his trust and became his confidante, she’d be in a position to influence him, and that was a goal worth aiming for. She sighed. From what she’d learned of Rial, he’d easily detect any deceptions on her part. Swearing her allegiance to him, protecting his life as part of his elite guards was one thing, but to open her heart to him, she didn’t think she’d manage that. Having sex with him… she wasn’t so sure she could handle that part.

  Sestrian women had a number of lovers before they chose a life partner, and while Kia had had a couple of relationships, her experience, and her mother’s advice, taught her that sex complicated matters. Make you my consort whether you want it or not. She’d done nothing to deserve such treatment. Goddess preserve her! The nanobots! Was this what it was really about? He’d said she was the only one whose blood hadn’t rejected them. That must mean he or the emperor had experimented on other women? But she knew what the problem was. It wasn’t the sex, or the fact he might want her to have dozens of nanobot babies, it was that Sestrian women chose their partners, and he’d taken that choice away from her. That was a much more difficult obstacle to overcome. She clung to the one piece of news cheering her up—Jared was alive. It had been beyond any stretch of her imagination to conceive that Rial was Jenèz, the man her father had worked with and trusted.

  “Kia!”

  The warm glow of elation at the thought of her brother disappeared. The others had stopped, and she’d gone traipsing on.

  “I can’t imagine what or who she’s thinking of,” Jalux muttered.

  “What did you say?” She couldn’t believe this sniping from Jalux. Hadn’t their relationship had always been friendly? “What? Are you jealous he didn’t choose you?”

  Jalux’s expression darkened.

  “Don’t pay him any attention,” Timaiko said in her ear.

  Yet more unexpected changes. The one person she’d believed was sympathetic was turning against her, and the one who’d antagonized her the most was offering support. She was crossing a bottomless chasm on the thinnest of bridges, and it was disintegrating under her feet.

  “Behave yourselves, or there’ll be consequences.” Nagavi’s bark silenced them. “These are the medical facilities. Lord Rial runs a small hospital and emergency center for the people who work in the palace or on the estate and their families. They also patch us up when needed.”

  Oh, yes, the hospital. Another place she was more familiar with than she wanted to be.

  Nagavi led them into a clean white reception area.

  “Good morning, Commander. You can go straight through.” A woman at the reception desk spoke briskly. “The doctors are ready for you.”

  “Thank you, Harreira.”

  After being measured, weighed, poked, and prodded by doctors, attendants, and various machines, Kia sat in a small separate room, as an aide shaved the area around the implant at the base of her skull.

  The other three waited outside.

  “They’ll remove the implant you’ve got in your skull and another device goes in,” Nagavi told her.

  “Why do I have to have one at all?” Wasn’t she controlled enough?

  “You need this one. It’s for coms and is keyed to your helmet so we can communicate when we’re on public duty, and facilitates our abilities to protect Rial. You’ll see this evening.”

  “Does it hurt?” She’d been unconscious when the control device had been implanted.

  Nagavi grinned. “Tell me, how much pain can you stand?”

  “What?”

  “You have no sense of humor, do you? You should be used to teasing after the past month.”

  “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

  “Snap out of it, Kia. You’re a Chenjerai, and you have a job to do. That’s all you should think about, and it’s microscopic. You won’t feel a thing.”

  She was certainly thinking about the man she’d promised to guard and protect with her life, but it wasn’t in a benevolent way.

  “That’s it,” said the medic.

  Kia thinned her lips.

  “What does that look mean?” he asked.

  “Nothing.” She’d like to have shown him what it meant, but she wasn’t fast enough to beat him. Besides, he was her commanding officer, and she was supposed to obey his orders, and he was right, she had to snap out of it. Focusing on what Rial was doing to her was just getting her in a tighter and tighter knot. “Are we training today?”

  “Yes, Everyone, except you four, is already in the gym. We’ll join them when we’re finished here. Wait in the reception. Timaiko, get in here.”

  After the session at the hospital, Nagavi sent them to the gymnasium to join the other Chenjerai. Timaiko and Jalux went straight to the armory, chose their weapons, and joined a sword practicing group, while Ohiko headed for the flight simulators in a side room.

  Kia stood for a minute, feeling the tension in her gut lessen as she watched the guards train. Yes, some adrenaline fueled action was guaranteed to take her mind off her troubles.

  Toinen, one of the older guards, was instructing a small group in wrestling techniques, and Kia decided this was exactly what she needed.

  Toinen was broad, stocky, and heavy with rock-hard muscles. He’d demonstrate a hold, how to get out of it, then let them practice, making sure everybody changed partners frequently.

  It took Kia a while to gain a sense of how the moves differed from
srilao. As a beginner, she spent most of her time learning first defensive then offensive takedowns and spending far more time being tossed to the floor than she was accustomed to, but when midday came, her mind and her body were more at ease.

  After lunch, when she was relieved Rial didn’t join them, they were given the afternoon off, as they’d be on duty during the evening’s visit to the emperor’s palace.

  Nagavi led her along the corridor to the library.

  “The special treatment isn’t going to help me,” she told him as he sat her at a desk, and gave her a comunit. Tapping the screen, he brought up a list of names. “These are your fellow Chenjerai. Familiarize yourself with their background and special skills. This is information you, as the consort, are expected to know.”

  After Nagavi left, she spent five minutes staring out the window, fretting, trying to remember a life where she had choices, and finally Kia decided to learn what she could about her new companions. She picked Shaba first and saw the woman was so skilled with knives, she’d never been defeated in a knife fight either before or after she joined the Chenjerai. Kia was new to knifework as srilao was a hand-to-hand martial art depending on evasive and offensive movements, but it would be useful to improve her skills in that area, especially after Shaba’s demonstration at the nightclub. When she was familiar with the faces and histories of the twelve men and seven other women who comprised the Chenjerai, she pulled up a map of the galaxy and located Emankora. Where could Jared be? If he’d escaped with Rial’s help, he could be anywhere, but she would start by investigating suitable planets, maybe somewhere between her home planet and Xarunta. At least it was a start.

  “You won’t find him.” Nagavi leaned over her and switched the comunit off. “And you should be aware, comunits are monitored by several intelligence agencies, especially the emperor’s, who follow Rial’s actions and those of his guards closely. If you plan to keep on having access to a comunit, don’t go searching.”