The Girl in the Window

by Douglas, Valerie

  “How do I stop being afraid?” Beth asked.

  Ruth barked out a chuckle. Oh, baby, if only I knew the answer to that!

  Think of the love, not the fear, Matt said. If you’d known that I was going to die, would you not have loved me? Would you have given up what we had? Do you regret it?

  The thought was piercing.

  “No,” she whispered.

  There’s your answer, Ruth said. The truth is, you can live in it or with it. The first time will be the hardest, watching him race, but it will get easier each time.

  “Matt,” she said, feeling them fade.

  Babe, he said gently. You can’t lose me. I’m a part of you now and I always will be. I’ll always be right here.

  For a moment she could almost feel his lips on her forehead.

  It’s not about one or the other, love, he said. I always told you that you had a right to be happy and you do.

  You can do this, sweetie, Ruth said. You can.

  The question you have to ask yourself, Matt said, is, do you love him more than the fear?

  Chapter Twenty Six

  It was getting close to post time and Josh was beginning to give up on the idea that Beth was coming. Resigned, he pulled on his protective gear, especially the vest that had likely saved his life in that last race, as uncomfortable as it was to wear. Russ helped make sure it was settled properly in place. Once he was racing Josh would hardly notice it any more than he would notice the heat.

  They pulled his colors on over everything and walked out to where Adagio waited.

  Once more they went over everything, checked every buckle and strap for signs of wear and to make certain everything was in place.

  Josh climbed up onto the bike, settled into the seat and took up the reins.

  All around him, others were doing the same, getting ready for the race.

  He nodded to Russ and Tyler and they released Adagio’s halter. Will was beginning the preparations for Fair’s race at a different track the next day.

  One last time he looked out over the crowd of horses, bikes and drivers, hoping to see Beth.

  Something caught his eye, a flash of something, or maybe it was the motion. He didn’t know, but he knew who it was.

  “Russ,” Josh said, ripping off his helmet even as the man reached for Adagio’s halter.

  He tossed his helmet to Tyler, who caught it neatly as Josh jumped from the bike.

  There wasn’t much time, but he didn’t care.

  Beth saw him coming, his head bare, striding toward her even as she dodged and darted around the departing horses and bikes.

  And then she was running to him, to Josh.

  Josh caught her up, crushed her against the hard shell of his protective gear as he lifted her, his kiss fierce, almost desperate.

  As was hers.

  The tears that had been so hard to shed burned her eyes as she threw her arms around his neck.

  “I thought you wouldn’t come,” he said.

  She pulled back to look into his handsome face, into his warm eyes, lighter than Matt’s, but the love in them was just as deep, just as strong.

  “I love you,” she said.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Josh said softly. “You could have told me. I could have gotten another driver.”

  “You love racing,” she said. She laughed and gestured. “And it’s a little late for that.”

  It was.

  Josh was torn. “Beth.”

  He brushed the hair back from her face. Time was getting short. A decision had to be made, and soon.

  “I don’t want to lose you,” he said. “I love to race, but I love you, too. As long as I’m a part of it, though, it’s enough.” It would be torture, but he could do it. “I can stop racing, just be an owner. What’s that without this, without you? If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have it.”

  Looking at him she shook her head. “No. I wouldn’t ask you to do that. I can’t. You love it too much.”

  She took a breath.

  “I can’t ask you to do that, Josh. You can’t lose me,” she said, “and I can’t lose you. You’ll always be a part of me.”

  He kissed her, gently. “And you’ll always be a part of me.”

  The yard was nearly empty, the last few drivers entering the gates.

  “Go,” she said. “Give Adagio his chance to win. For Chord.”

  For a minute he just looked at her in astonishment. She was pale, her eyes huge. Fear was in her eyes, the fear of losing him or Adagio, but she was resolute all the same. She was willing to endure it, to face that fear every time he raced, today, and every day, for him.

  “Marry me,” he said.

  Stunned, Beth could only stare at him.

  “What?” she asked breathlessly. “What did you say?’

  Josh yanked her back into his arms a hard kiss.

  “Marry me,” he said. “Stay with me forever.”

  He looked at Russ. “Do you have it?”

  With a nod, Russ reached into his pocket, tossed him the small velvet box.

  “I bought this with Fair’s first winnings,” Josh said. “I was going to wait to give it to you, wait for the right time. The right place. I wanted a big fancy occasion.”

  He took the ring out of the box.

  “I can’t think of a better one than this,” he said. “Will you marry me?”

  He wouldn’t risk losing her again.

  Time seemed to stand still in breathless anticipation.

  To Josh everything faded away but Beth. Everything. The waiting horses and drivers, the people at the gate, the folks in the stands.

  Around them everyone else went still, caught by the drama taking place before them.

  By now most of the other drivers and trainers knew them and had become friendly competition. People they waved at and said ‘Hi’ to as they drove in or unloaded horses. They asked after each other. Most now had some inkling of their story and all of them had either seen or heard about the crash.

  They’d noted Josh’s return. And Beth’s absences.

  Not a one of them didn’t know what it was like, from either side.

  Word had gone around as Beth passed through them. Elbows had been nudged, heads had turned.

  Smiles broke out, voices were hushed.

  Beth looked up at him, at Josh, into his greenish blue eyes, into the lean, handsome face of the man who’d helped teach her to love again.

  Josh, and Fair.

  She loved them both enough to face the fear. She loved Josh enough for this, too. For forever.

  Taking a slow breath, she reached up to touch Josh’s well-loved face and for a moment she felt familiar presences at her back.

  Letting out the breath, she let them go, although they remained in her heart forever.

  As did he.

  Josh.

  “Yes,” she said.

  It took a second for the word to penetrate, and then it did, and the world returned with a rush. And with it the pressure, the knowledge that everyone was waiting.

  Waiting for him, and for Adagio.

  Josh slid the ring on her finger quickly, caught her beautiful face in his hands and kissed her soundly.

  “Wish me luck,” he said.

  Smiling, a little dazed, Beth said, “Good luck.”

  “Stay with her,” he said to Russ, with a glance at Tyler.

  Russ nodded, once, sharply.

  Deftly Josh caught the helmet Tyler tossed him, settled it on his head as he swung up into the bike and found his seat. He buckled it swiftly and sent Adagio after the other riders.

  Beth watched him go, her throat and chest tight.

  She lifted her hand, looked at the ring in something that felt like bewilderment and wonder.

  There was a ring on it. A simple diamond, round cut, plain and perfect. It was beautiful, glittering in the hazy sunlight.

  She looked up to see Josh guiding Adagio toward the starting gate.

  They were the last to ent
er.

  An arm dropped over her shoulders. Tyler.

  “C’mon, shorty, we’d better hurry,” he said. “Let’s go watch them race.”

  “Shorty?” she sputtered, a laugh and a smile bursting past her nerves.

  Then Russ was there, too, hustling them all up to where they would be able to see better.

  Mary waited for them in the stands.

  Seeing her standing there waiting, her gaze going to Russ, Beth wondered if Mary knew just how much of what she felt was in her eyes and her own heart lifted a little.

  Tyler kept his arm over her shoulders, but Russ took her hand in his tightly, with understanding in his eyes.

  The gestures touched her enormously.

  A roar burst from the crowd as the gates opened and the horses were off.

  Beth’s gaze was locked on Josh’s colors and Adagio’s familiar roan hide amidst the crush of riders. Fear shot through her, but she fought it, her hand locked tight around Russ’s.

  Fingers closed over her shoulder, massaged them, forcing her to relax at least a little.

  She glanced up at Tyler in surprise.

  With a little shrug, he whispered, “You should have seen my mom on her first date with Russ.”

  The laugh caught Beth completely by surprise.

  Around the first turn and into the backstretch, the horses spread out with Josh and Adagio still caught in the thick of it.

  It was clear that Josh was trying to find a line, a break, and then he found it.

  “Come on,” Russ said, urgency in his voice. “He’s got a chance, he’s really got a chance.”

  The leader was the favorite in this race and for good reason. He held the lead but Josh and Adagio gave the horse and driver in third place a run for their money, taking third just before the wire.

  Against that kind of competition it was an incredible showing.

  With Chord gone there was only one more horse to race. Sweet Bella had already placed in the Little Brown Jug.

  Only one horse remained to prove himself.

  Fair.

  In the weeks leading up to the Hambletonian, Fair proved himself again and again.

  Stroking his nose Beth held his bridle as Russ and Will harnessed him to the bike. The ring on her finger winked light at her. They’d set Christmas Eve as their wedding date. It was only a few months off.

  This was where it had all started, here with this horse, with Fair.

  “Come back safe, horse,” she said softly. “And bring him back with you, would you?”

  Fair blew out a soft breath, tossed his head a little.

  It was foolish to think he really understood her, but for some reason the fear she’d lived with every day since the accident faded.

  “Go do yourself proud,” she whispered. “Show them what you’re made of, what you can do. He’s always believed in you. We need this one.”

  They were ready.

  She looked up as Josh climbed up into the bike, found his seat.

  As always, he took her breath away.

  For a moment their eyes met.

  Seeing her there, holding the horse, their horse, Josh was suddenly aware of the long strange journey they had taken to get here and realized that it had been almost a year to the day exactly that he’d first seen her walking across the yards.

  The ring on her finger caught the light, reflected it.

  She smiled brilliantly and his breath caught to see it and the love in it.

  His wife to be.

  The idea astonished him.

  He smiled back.

  “Luck,” she said, as she gave Fair a pat.

  “I already have plenty,” he said, looking at her.

  With a tip of his head at Russ, he guided Fair through the tangle of people to the starting gate.

  Fair’s last few starts had bought him a better position but it would still be a fight. This would be the best field Fair had been up against.

  It was the Hambletonian.

  The gate went up and they were off.

  It seemed that Fair knew who was in the bike this time. While he’d done well for Patrick there seemed to be a difference now that he and Josh were back together again.

  For Josh, being back in the bike, racing again with Fair, was all that mattered now that he had Beth back again.

  The other horses and bikes melted away, something to consider, but it was really just him and Fair out on the track as the great horse settled into his stride. They were both aware of the other riders, aware as they fell back, as they broke free of the pack, as Fair answered to the whip and opened up his stride, and began his run for the lead.

  In the stands Beth’s hands were locked in Russ’s and Will’s, she couldn’t hold onto Tyler anymore because he was jumping up and down, cheering and shouting as Fair and Josh came out of the pack.

  Excitement rippled through the crowd.

  It was one of those moments that just caught everyone up.

  Goosebumps raced up and down Beth’s arms as the pair in third place gave way at the top of the turn. Fair was gunning for second as they came into the stretch.

  In the stands the fans surged to their feet with a roar as Fair and Josh passed second.

  The whip sailed out and Fair answered.

  First fell behind them as even strangers began to jump and shout, grabbing each other with excitement.

  “We have a new track record,” the announcer called.

  Epilogue

  The day dawned bright and sunny, a little cool for a day in late summer, but it was perfect for racing, the sky clear and cloudless and the stands filled with racing fans who’d come to see something truly special.

  Around them the green hills of Kentucky spread like a plush carpet broken by white fences and the occasional stand of trees.

  It was astonishingly beautiful.

  Beth looked around in exasperation.

  “Where did he go this time?”

  She’d only taken her eyes off him for a minute.

  Laughing, Tyler shook his head, craning his head over the crowd.

  “Matty,” she shouted, “get back here this instant.”

  “I’ve got him, Beth,” Will said, catching the boy as he tried to duck out of the box, before popping the boy on his shoulders as the announcer called out the names of the horses in the next race. The Kentucky Futurity. The last race of the triple crown of trotters.

  Russ arrived just as the announcer called out, “Good Sport in gate five.”

  She looked down onto the track to where Josh and Sport waited for the gates to open.

  Excitement rushed over her, touched lightly by the ever-present fear, but she pushed those images away as she always did.

  What the sire hadn’t been able to accomplish, it looked like the son would.

  Fair had come close, he’d fought for it, but he’d only come in second in the Hambletonian, third at Yonkers and just shy of third but out of the money at the Red Mile.

  That had been enough for Josh and her and an amazing finish for a horse with so many handicaps, but Fair’s blood had shown.

  Now they were back in Kentucky and Josh was in the bike again.

  The horse was Good Sport out of Fair Play, son of Bella, and he was set to win the Triple Crown of trotters.

  She reached for her son. “Come on, Matty, let’s cheer for Daddy.”

  Her son came to her, his eyes alight as she reached for him.

  “And they’re off,” the announcer said.

  #####

  About the Author

  Happily married, Valerie is ensconced in the wilds of central Ohio farm country with two dogs, four cats and an African clawed frog for company as she writes. The frog doesn’t say much. The cats do.

  You can contact her through her webpage:

  www.valeriedouglasbooks.com

  Other Novels by Valerie Douglas

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  Not Magic Enough - For Delae, a lonely landholder on the edge of the Kingdoms, a frantic knock at the door on a stormy winter's night brings more than a cry for help. After centuries of war Elves have little contact with the race of men, but Dorovan can't bring himself to ride past those so obviously in need. One small act, with enormous consequences. Not Magic Enough is a tale of love and honor, duty and determination.

  Setting Boundaries - After centuries of war an uneasy peace has finally been negotiated between Elves, Dwarves and Men, thanks to Elon of Aerilann, Elven councilor to the High King of Men. One final task yet remains, one final bone of contention - to set the boundaries between their lands. For journeyman wizard Jareth it's the opportunity of a lifetime. What he doesn't know is that the journey will test him to his limits and forge a friendship that will last for centuries.

  Heart of the Gods – When archaeologist Ky Farrar starts in search of the ancient Tomb, he awakens its lethal, and lovely, guardian. Both quickly discover Ky isn’t the only one in search of the tomb and the danger to the world that lies within it. The key to which is the Heart of the Gods.

  Servant of the Gods – A child of prophecy, she would bear many names. Born a peasant, she became a mercenary, was captured and enslaved, but rose to become a Priestess of Isis. As High Priestess she would face her greatest challenge yet and find a love that would last beyond time.

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