Grace, Sayde - Untamable [Moonlight Cravings] (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Sayde Grace

  He kissed the palm of her hand. “I need you to get rid of the wall. My beast has always been able to find comfort in your thoughts and feelings. This wall you learned to build is great for fighting, but other than that, it sucks. Every nerve in me is tingling with awareness that my mate is blocking me. It’s causing my wolf to think crazy jealous thoughts.”

  “Really? Well, maybe your wolf can kiss my—”

  He growled. God she had a mouth that drove him crazy.

  “Oh, for God’s sake, Jasper. I was kidding. I have no intention of using it. I just figured there had to be a way to surprise you during the fighting. If I kept my wall up, I wouldn’t get the bits and pieces of your thoughts, and that would be a shame.” She reached out and cupped his chin.

  Her soft fingers on his jaw gave him comfort and eased his beast. He turned his head to nip her fingers. He’d hated and loved his ability to read minds, but he’d always found comfort in knowing what Sidda felt. “Good. I’ve gotten used to hearing your dirty little secrets over the years.”

  “Hmm, well, how about we go get dressed, eat something, and go over what all I’ve learned so far? I need some food, and we need to discuss this submissive crap.”

  Jasper smiled and unlocked the door. Without waiting to see if she would balk, he grabbed her hand and tugged her to his side. “Open back up, babe.”

  “I am. I’m just not thinking about anything right now.” She winked.

  The little she-devil winked! He threw his head back and laughed. “Oh, babe, I’ve missed you so much.” He nuzzled her neck. “Your wolf was as gorgeous as you are. I almost couldn’t contain my beast when he saw that lean, auburn-haired she-wolf.”

  She laughed and snuggled closer to his side as they walked the last few feet to the kitchen. He wished more than anything that there wasn’t anyone in the house but them. He hadn’t spent near enough time with her before the world came crashing down around them. He sighed and kissed her head.

  “What’s wrong?” She eased away from him.

  “Nothing. I just wish we could have a few days alone.” He shrugged. “But for now we can eat and go over what happened in there.” He let her go, and she sat down at the large oak kitchen table.

  The room hadn’t changed much since he’d been a child. The large sink on one side had a window to look out the back. The cabinets were still white and the countertops a country blue. His mom had decorated. He wondered idly if Sidda would want to redo the kitchen. He kind of hoped not, because the style reminded him of his family. And the place had started to grow on him. With every second spent in it, he loosened up. He wished Sidda could find the same ease.

  “I think it’s perfect the way it is. And it’s not that I don’t feel comfortable here. It’s very homey. Your mom and dad did a great job making everything welcoming. It’s just that I’m not sure who I am anymore, so how are any of your pack supposed to accept me?”

  The bond. He smiled as he turned to grab some ham from the refrigerator. Pride raged in him. She’d certainly begun accepting her wolf and their bond.

  “You’re the same person you always have been.” He placed the ham down along with bread and condiments on the table.

  “I guess, but Dane Velham…” She shuddered, and Jasper placed his hand over hers.

  “He’s your father. He helped bring you into this world, and that’s it. You made yourself who you are. Not him.”

  “Yeah, but he’s a monster. What if…”

  “No. You’re too strong to compare yourself to him. He’s a coward, always getting others to do his dirty work. You’ve never and will never allow anyone to face your problems for you.” He stroked her hand with his thumb.

  “Yeah, but what happens when he realizes who and what I am? He’ll know right off, right?”

  Jasper gritted his teeth when her mind began to race with different possibilities. None that he liked. She was terrified that Velham would take her and kill him. That wasn’t going to happen. Ever. The Luna Nation wasn’t large enough to hide the influx of wolves moving into the home Jasper’s parents had made for the Blue Moon Pack. And Dane wasn’t stupid enough to come in guns blazing. That would raise too many questions with the human authorities. Dane would snoop, he’d pretend to be civilized while he plotted what to do.

  “Babe, it’s going to be fine. I imagine that he’ll stop by tomorrow to see if the rumors of the pack house being opened are true. I want you beside me. He needs to know right off the bat where your alliance lays, and that you’re my mate. We stand together, no matter what right.”

  She nodded, tears filling her eyes. “I’ll try not to lose it when he gets here. I don’t know if I can control my emotions and actions yet.”

  Jasper understood more than she could ever know. He felt the exact same way. He wanted to rip Velham’s throat out and let the buzzards feast off his dead, rotting corpse. But he couldn’t. Not before he found out the truth about his pack.

  “Let’s go over what you felt as your wolf. Next time, trust her. Don’t fight the shift.”

  “Yeah, you were right about that. It hurt so bad I thought I was being torn in half. But when I finally let go and let her take over, the pain instantly went away.”

  Jasper wasn’t above saying “I told you so,” but in this case, he’d let it go. “And when she took over, how did that feel?”

  Sidda’s eyes brightened with excitement as her thoughts flooded his. He smiled at her enthusiasm.

  “It was wild. I’ve never felt so free. Every cell in my body tingled with energy and wanted to run loose. I had the biggest urge to run through the woods, feeling the earth under my paws, the wind in my face, and the trees flying by.” She leaned closer to him. “Is it always that intense?”

  “Sometimes. It depends on how long it’s been since you’ve shifted. In your case it was never, so of course she wanted loose. How did you bond so fast with her and get some control?” He cocked his head to the side to study her and leaned back in his chair.

  The front legs of the chair lifted from the ground as he rocked it back then set all four legs to the floor. She took a bite of her sandwich before answering.

  “I just did. I knew there was no way I could be forced to go away. I’m too curious about what’s going on. She didn’t fight sharing the time with me. But when I wanted to raise my head and look at you like normal, she wouldn’t let me. She almost panicked. Why?”

  “I am your Alpha. Your wolf was showing me respect.” His voice held a hint of pride and amusement.

  Her eyes went huge before she threw her head back laughing. “Oh God, you’re serious?” She wiped tears from her eyes quickly sobering. “Really?”

  He gritted his teeth. Of course Sidda wouldn’t understand right off the bat, although he knew she’d felt the urge to show throat to him during the Marking Bite.

  Sidda gaped at him. He didn’t really expect her to be one of his followers? He couldn’t. Right?

  “Um, I think you may have to explain that a little more.” She narrowed her eyes, fighting the desire to kick him under the table. His smirk nearly made her do it.

  “It’s simple. She knows I’m her Alpha, the only wolf with more power than herself. Wolves are set up differently than humans. We have an order. Because I’m the Alpha, all other wolves show signs of respect and obey me. If they don’t, they’re challengers. Your wolf bowed her head to show respect and to say she wasn’t challenging me.”

  “Why hasn’t this ever come up before? I mean I’ve always stared you down, so has Cole for that matter, and you’ve never said anything before.” And he hadn’t. Never had he once mentioned anything like this before. Only recently had he even started to get pissy with Cole.

  “I’ve always fought that part of me because I knew y’all wouldn’t fully understand. It’s getting harder and harder with Cole though. He keeps pushing, and my beast wants to take him by the throat and make him bow to me.”

  Well, that explained a little of the tension between them, not all of
it though. “So, this bowing my head thing… What would happen if I didn’t?”

  If he said he’d make her, it was really going to piss her off.

  “Think hard about that. What does your wolf say?” All hint of amusement from moments before were gone.

  She was screaming to bow, to show throat, to do anything her mate and Alpha wanted. But still, shouldn’t he show her some throat? After all, she was his mate. “Well, of course, she wants me to turn my head and offer you my throat. But I don’t know. That seems harsh. I mean you nearly hurt me when we were training.”

  When he’d had her throat in his mouth, it had throbbed in pain.

  “But you took the pain. You listened to your wolf and trusted me.”

  “So what about other wolves? Am I to show them throat or bow my head at them too?” That would be the kicker. Sidda could maybe manage to do it for Jasper, but to others, nope.

  “Nope is right. You are the second most powerful wolf in our pack. All others will bow to you.” His crooked grin tugged at his lips, so that his dimple peeked.

  “Well, I guess that’s all right then.” In all honesty, who wouldn’t want to be respected? “So how do I keep the me-part of my mind from interfering in the wolf thing? It’s hard for me to accept that I’m just supposed to bow down to you. I understand the concept, but my brain doesn’t want to do it.” Sidda doubted anything he could say would make the part of her that still felt human bow to him.

  “I’m not sure. This entire situation is different from anything I’ve ever heard of, but my wolf would demand you show throat. I’d make you show throat.” He shrugged. “I wish my dad were here to guide you, teach you, but he’s not.” The last had been muttered, yet she caught it. His regret touched her, and she grabbed his hand.

  “No, he’s not, and even if he was, I wouldn’t want anyone else to teach me anything, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and let’s get this figured out before any pack members that have heard I’m back start arriving.”

  His head snapped in her direction. “Let’s skip the rest of this talk.” He grabbed his sandwich and stood.

  She shook her head. “Not right now. Later tonight we can play those games, but right now let’s face the problem and fix it.” She hated putting things off. Running from a problem never solved it and Jasper knew that. Something else lay hidden behind those gorgeous eyes of his. “Tell me what else is going on. I can see there’s something, but I don’t want to poke around in your brain to see.”

  His eyes dropped, and he played with the edge of his napkin. “Later. Right now let’s figure out how many pack members we are going to be looking for, and then we can make a plan to head over to see the warehouse tomorrow morning. By midday, I’m sure Velham and his cronies will be here to see what’s going on.”

  “All right, but whatever you’re hiding better come out tonight ’cause I know you’re keeping something back from me, and you know how much I love that kind of thing.”

  Sidda hated someone trying to hide something from her, and right now, he was damn lucky she wasn’t in his brain picking every thought apart. But she’d trust him for now.

  “Fair enough. Tomorrow we can train outside as wolves, but right now, let’s go see if Doc has a list of some sort made for me.”

  “How many do you think we are looking for?” In world history class, they’d covered the size of different Luna packs, but she couldn’t recall the size of the Blue Moon.

  “I found fifty members in Romania, and they knew of ten others alive and well. They called around to find out that six more wolves were dead. That gives us sixty alive and six dead out of a hundred and fifty member pack. So rough estimate says we’re looking for close to eighty-five members. I don’t think we’ll ever see that number, but maybe we can find half that many. Out of that group will be my mother, two brothers, and your mother.” He picked up his soda can and took a long swig from it.

  Sidda inhaled, holding onto her breath and wondering just what would happen when her birth mother found out she’d lived, that is if she was still alive.

  Jasper tugged her forward. “Come on, let’s see what Doc has to say. I’m sure he’s figured out we’re done training and is awaiting us.”

  “Yeah, I bet. Stop trying to scare him, too. He’s helping, and he did what he and my mother thought was best for me, so stop being an ass.” Sidda tugged on Jasper’s hand to draw him close. His body heat enveloped her, and she struggled to remember why she’d drawn him near. She’d thought to comfort him, but his earthy smell hinted with desire fanned the fire within her, sending the thoughts of comfort out the window.

  Jasper shook his head as he buried his nose into her hair. “He should have told you a long time ago. Your mother should have told me. Do you know how long I’ve fought my wolf about you? He wanted to take you, like we would a wolf mate, but I struggled for years to contain the beast. I shouldn’t have had to. You are my mate and always have been. We could have been mated years ago.”

  Holy shit, he had to be kidding. They were only twenty-three. He couldn’t mean he’d have wanted a mate as a teenager or anything. That was crazy. He was a guy. Guys were scared of commitment.

  “I’m not a guy. I’m a wolf, and I’d have marked you as my mate when we were kids if you’d have let me.” The seriousness of his tone held the truth. He would have, and God help her, she’d have let him do it.

  “You should have marked me. I’ve always loved you and wanted to be yours.” Sidda nipped his bottom lip earning a growl from him.

  “The bond we have will never be broken. You will always be mine, and I yours. Better late than never, huh?” He grinned a crooked grin, setting her heart on fire.

  “Better late than never indeed.” She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and jerked his head down to hers. Their lips met, and she held nothing back from him. He was hers, and he might be her Alpha, but she was his equal in this part, and he’d always known it. Smiling at her show of dominance, she eased away from his trembling body. “Now, let’s go talk to Doc again. Maybe he won’t be pawing at my mom. I’d hate to have to hurt him over it.”

  “Your mom is due for some pawing. I’ve known her for fifteen years and never smelled another scent on her. Believe me, she’s due.”

  Sidda almost choked. No, he did not just say her mom needed to get laid.

  “Yeah, I did. Doc’s a wolf and would protect her from Velham as much as he could, so why not? Let them mate.” He grasped her hand and squeezed once before shaking his head laughing.

  “I don’t think it’s funny.”

  “You should try to find things more amusing. Don’t take it for granted, because I can almost guarantee you that, in the weeks and months to come, this thing with Velham will take away most of the reasons for laughter.”

  Sidda’s heart tightened. She didn’t want to have to face that evil bastard, much less have Jasper do it, but they had to. And she had to let Jasper handle it the way he wanted to. Her wolf applauded her decision. She wanted Jasper to take back what was his and honor her mother, both of them.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sidda’s mother and Ms. Joy sat on one couch flipping through a small picture album while Cole texted someone on his phone. Their gazes snapped up when Jasper and Sidda stepped into the large living space. Cole’s eyes met hers before he glanced at Jasper. Without a word, he turned and looked back to his phone. Something was up. She could feel it in the way Cole barely gave Jasper the time of day. That wasn’t like them. They’d never fought before, and never had there been so much tension between the two.

  “I take it the shift and training went well?” Dr. Thomas looked up from the tablet he held.

  “She bonded with her wolf on the first shift and even gained control over herself during the training. She’s stronger than I’d thought.” Jasper’s voice held so much pride that her cheeks burned with embarrassment.

  “Wonderful, I can’t wait to see her in training.” Dr. Thomas set the tablet down and smiled at
them. “I imagine the training will be interesting between the two of you. It has been a long time since I’ve watched a mated pair try to outwit each other’s wolf.” His smile brightened, and his gaze settled on her mom. A growl threatened to rip from Sidda’s throat.

  “Let them be, Sidda. Everyone needs someone.” Jasper’s calming voice filtered through her head, relaxing her.

  “They cannot have sex in this house. If I hear my mother, I’ll be scarred for life. Do you want that?”

  He laughed, deep and throaty, before hauling her next to him. His lips brushed her forehead, and he guided them to one of the sofas.

  “All right, Doc, tell us what you’ve figured out.” Jasper picked up a notepad and pen from the large oak coffee table.

  “Well, I’ve counted the ones you know of and put names and faces together. That gives us a total of sixty-six that we knew of right away. I’ve found eight more who died after Velham took over. They were all strong males, including your dad’s second.” Dr. Thomas’s voice deepened with remorse.

  Silence crept through the room as they all silently did the math in their heads. They knew the pack was a small but powerful one, so now they had to try and figure out what had happened to nearly half of its members.

  “We know that at least four more were taken by Velham.” Sidda’s voice trembled at the mention of him and the thought of her mother.

  Doc cleared his throat. “I got a call while you were training. His second Stephan was asking questions about the Blue Moon house being opened back up and wanted to know who was the Alpha daring to open it.”

  A growl ripped through the room. Jasper jumped to his feet. Long, coarse fur prickled through his flesh.

  “That bastard dared to question anything concerning my pack? I’ll rip his balls off and feed them to the rogues.” His voice drawled out scratchy and deep. As the current Luna Alpha, Dane Velham had a right to ask or do anything he wanted with concerns to the packs he ruled. But Jasper, as the rightful Luna Alpha, didn’t give a damn, and Sidda knew it was only a matter of time before he lost his temper and confronted Dane.