Catching Kate: The Acceptance Series

by D. Kelly

  “So, are you here to psychoanalyze me?”

  “Hell no, I’m here to hang out with you, drink with you, and hopefully pull you out of your self-imposed hell.”

  He lets out a snort. “That’s rich coming from you.”

  “I’ll give you that, but my situation is vastly different from yours.”

  “How so?” This is definitely going to be one of those nights. I take the bottle from him and drink, letting the tequila pour down the back of my throat. Guess I’m staying the night. We pass the bottle back and forth a few times, sitting in a comfortable silence, before I finally answer him.

  “Before I tell you how my situation is different than yours, why don’t you tell me what exactly it is that you’re upset about?”

  “I’m upset about a lot of shit. At the top of the list is being taken advantage of by someone who didn’t love me the way I loved her. All I was to her was a fucking payday. It eats at me every day, I second guess everything now. Holy hell, Mike, she wasn’t bad when we were together. Other than pushing for the shopping trips she was sweet and kind. How come I couldn’t see what was going on right in front of my face?”

  “That’s a two part answer. The simplest answer is you didn’t see it because you’re one of the few people in the world that believes in the good in people. You’re not jaded by the bad shit that goes on around us day in and day out. The second part of that answer is almost as simple. She didn’t want you to see her true colors. Vanessa is the definition of a calculated woman. I heard her when she didn’t think anyone was around, though, and I know how sweet and nice she was to you. Who knows? Maybe she’s got a lot more of that in her than we give her credit for.”

  “Yeah right.”

  “I know, but if it’s in there, it comes from somewhere. For whatever reason, she wanted to have sex with me and she did everything she could to make sure it happened. I’m still so sorry about that. It’s one of my greatest regrets.”

  “One of them? You have a list or what?”

  “You have no idea.”

  “That’s because you don’t ever talk. Don’t worry about Vanessa, I know you wouldn’t do that to me and I know you don’t even like her. I’m just always going to be that guy, you know?”

  What in the hell is he talking about?

  “Enlighten me. What kind of guy?”

  Between the two of us, we’ve already finished the tequila. Daniel pauses a minute, opens a beer, passing me one in the process.

  “You know, I’m the nice guy. I’ll always be the nice guy. The only guy around that believes in good over evil and lets girls walk all over him. I’ve never thought to look out for the ones who only wanted me for something. I’m a fucking pushover. I’m just done, Mike. No more women for a while, not until I can date one and know she’s for real. I’m done. It’s your turn to explain your situation.”

  “Not much to explain. I had the one and it didn’t work out. This is the after math. I was the nice guy once, too, and it didn’t turn out so well for me. Don’t follow the path I took because I don’t feel any better when I wake up in the morning now than I did three years ago. The past is a painful place to visit so I don’t go there often. I did today and now I’m drinking with you. Someday I’m sure I’ll give you more, but for tonight that’s all I’ve got. There are good women out there; Vanessa just wasn’t one of them. Don’t let yourself stay mad for too long. That shit festers and fills you with poison.”

  “It’s been three years, Mike.”

  “Yup, like I said, don’t follow along my path. You’re too good to wallow in misery over a stupid bitch that didn’t love you. You’ve got a bruised ego right now, it’ll pass. Just for the record, I know you don’t miss her but you miss the love you gave freely to her. Karma’s a bitch and she’ll get hers in the end.”

  Chapter 14

  My Katherine becomes Daniel’s Kate

  THE PAST FEW months have been rough. My mom found me and started calling me. She’s left me dozens of messages, begging me to call her, letting me know that things weren’t actually what she thought. No shit, I figured that much out pretty fast. I can’t call her yet; I have to talk to Katherine first. It’s time. I’m ready.

  Daniel finally pulled himself out of his funk and met an amazing woman that makes him happier than I’ve ever seen him. The same weekend they met was Katherine’s birthday weekend. That weekend was the final kick in the ass I needed to talk to Katherine. It came during an epiphany in the form of gardenia perfume that pulled me to my senses.

  I’m not complete without her. No matter how many girls I screw, how many drinks I have in order to hide the pain, the only thing that’s going to make it better is having her back with me. Daniel convinced me to reach out to her, so I wrote her a letter and now I’m just waiting. Waiting is the worst possible form of evil. I’m so ready to go knock on her door, but I told myself I would give it a week. After the engagement party, I’ll be another day closer. Hopefully, she’ll call me first and I won’t actually have to wait the entire week.

  At least I’m getting the chance to meet Connor and Daniel’s girlfriends tonight. I’m excited to meet the girls that have nailed both of these guys down at the same time. I’ll also get to spend some time with Bev and Rick and Linda and Bryan. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to do that. I was able to get the new deck all finished for Jake before I left earlier today, too. April is going to be over the moon happy when she sees it; she’s been begging Jake for months to do something with the yard. I’m just happy I was able to help out and it kept me away from the house last night. As much as I’m looking forward to seeing everyone, I didn’t want to be the odd man out. I figure I’ll get enough of it at the party, but at least there will be so many people there it won’t seem strange. I also need to talk to Ben about finishing up the sleeve on my arm and tonight seems like the perfect time.

  I started the sleeve not too long after meeting Daniel. He mentioned he had a buddy who owned a shop and the rest is history. I’ve been weaving my history with Katherine into the ink on my skin, telling the story of my life through art. It’s colorful and destructive, and it probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, and that’s the way I like it. The center of it is the biggest part; it’s probably more than half of the entire sleeve. It goes full circle around my arm—an aquatic ocean scene with a sunken boat. Topping the treasure chest in the boat is a replica of the ring I had for Katherine. It’s subtle and blends right in with the jewels, but if she sees it she’ll know. I’ve got an amazing one of a catcher’s glove falling through mid-air with home plate under it. It’s hovering over the plate with a ball caught in the glove but never completes the fall. Ben came up with a great one of a black Mercedes but the hood is a headstone that says R.I.P. Dad. The car is new and shiny but the irony shows through—things can be replaced but people are lost forever. The top part of my arm has a sky scape of the night sky, moon, and stars. The most meaningful of them all is the one that runs across my shoulder and onto my chest. It was the first one I got and simply says Not all who wander are lost. It was my own personal reminder that even though I left everything behind to make myself better, it was a choice and not a punishment. That at the end of this journey I know where my soul belongs. I still have room for at least one or two more. I’ve always wanted to really symbolize Katherine (with her knowing this time). Hopefully, someday it could be her name, or our entwined wedding rings, or maybe if I’m lucky, our child’s footprints.

  From here on out, it’s time for new beginnings for me, for my friends, and hopefully for my relationship with Katherine. Tonight will be about fun, and from the looks of this place, we won’t be lacking any because it’s packed. The valet takes my truck and I enter through the side entrance. As I walk past the guest house, I see Connor walking my way.

  “It’s about time! Damn, Mike, where have you been? I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

  “I know. With work and everything it’s just been crazy. Where’s this girl of y
ours, anyway?” Connor nods his head toward the guest house.

  “Jess and Kate are still in there getting ready. Daniel was supposed to bring them up to the house, but either they’re running late like girls usually do, or Jess had a fit because I sent Daniel and didn’t come and get her myself.”

  Alarm bells are ringing in my head rapidly. He said Jess and Kate. What are the odds that he and Daniel are dating two UCLA girls with the same but different names of my girls? I don’t think anyone ever mentioned the name of Connor’s girl to me before, and honestly if they did, I didn’t pay attention. He changes girls like he changes underwear. There’s no way right? I’m lost in my thoughts as Connor tries to get my attention, but I see them over his shoulder. I know it’s them and I lose my breath. They’re gorgeous—the same but different. They’re older and all woman, but there’s no doubt about it, that’s them and they’re linked arm in arm with Daniel. They both look happy until they set eyes on me and the bottom falls out of their happily ever after.

  ~~~***~~~

  My worlds have officially collided and not even close to the way I always pictured it happening. Katherine…Kate…is with Daniel. Jessica is with Connor. They actually make a perfect couple; I couldn’t have paired either of them up any better.

  Daniel threw me daggers all night and he’s not the only one. Connor seems pissed at me. Jake tried to corner me to see what was going on, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to go against Kate’s wishes tonight, so I told him everything was fine and not to worry. He didn’t buy it but didn’t question it, either. Jake can read me probably better than anyone and he knows something’s up. He also knows I’ll tell him when I’m ready.

  Kate and Daniel went to the guest house a while ago. I know she went to read my letter, but I have no clue what happened after that. Jessica keeps glancing at me, hoping I won’t notice, but of course I do. I’m desperate to talk to her and just keep staring at her, hoping she’ll give me an opening but she never does.

  At least Ben and Callie felt the uncomfortable vibe and excused themselves to dance. Jessica and Connor have had their heads bent together, talking for the last five minutes or so, and all I can do is sit here and nurse my drink. I told her in the letter I would respect her relationship if she had one. How can I do that? How can I sit back and watch her and Daniel together? It’s physically impossible; I can’t do it. She’s mine.

  Daniel walks back to the table alone, head hanging and tie undone, with an aura of sadness surrounding him. He doesn’t look at me and I don’t blame him; I can’t make eye contact with him right now, either.

  “Daniel, where’s Kate?” I hear the panicked tone in Jess’s voice matching the feeling I have in my heart.

  “She left,” he answers dejectedly

  “What the hell, man? You let her leave? We’ve got to go get her. She can’t be alone right now.” Connor jumps up, running his hands through his hair.

  “She read Mike’s letter and she begged me to let her go. We’re all supposed to be at her house by nine in the morning. She said she wouldn’t make any decisions without talking it through, but I guess we’ll see. Can you guys take me to my house to get my truck? If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather stay at your house tonight, Connor.”

  “Yeah sure, let’s go give our excuses and get out of here. Jess, wait here, okay? You’re crying and I don’t want to make a big scene.” She nods at him and pulls a tissue from her clutch.

  “Jessica, I…I’m sorry. There’s so much I want to say to you but it all seems insignificant somehow right now.”

  She sniffs and wipes her nose with the tissue, finally looking me in the eye for the first time. Instead of the anger that was there a few hours ago, her eyes are filled with utter sadness.

  “Michael, I honestly don’t know what to say to you. I’ve missed you and I’m pissed at you and I’m so fucking relieved to see you. I’ve been so worried about you, wondering if you were ever going to come back to us. Did you ever think about us? About Kate? About me?”

  “Every single day, Jess, and every single night. I just wasn’t ready to face her, or you. How do you single handedly shatter your very own existence and then come back and try to piece it back together? When I destroyed my life I broke her trust, I broke your trust, and I don’t know if I can ever get it back. But it’s the one thing I want more than anything in this world.”

  “He loves her, Mike, with his whole heart.”

  Her voice catches when she says that, almost like it tears her up to have to tell me. I understand the feeling completely because my voice probably sounds the same when I answer her.

  “I know he does. Does she love him?” I ask the question that I never want to know the answer to.

  “She does, but it’s not that black and white with her, even if she doesn’t realize that. She’s not the same girl you left behind, Mike. This was a long, sad journey we took to get her here. Kate has things she’ll have to tell you herself, and until she does, until she heals her heart, I don’t know if she’ll ever be able to fully give it to anyone. Even if she thinks she has.”

  While I’m absorbing her words and trying to process their cryptic meaning, Daniel and Connor come back.

  “Alright, we told everyone Kate had to go home and help with Lauren. Let’s get out of here. You too, Mike. We’re all staying at my house tonight.”

  Daniel doesn’t look happy but he nods, “Kate wants all of us there in the morning, it makes sense.”

  I follow them all the way back to Kate’s house. The entire drive was a blur of memories and thoughts. I spent most of the drive trying to figure out if there was a point in the last two weeks where I could have pieced this puzzle together sooner but there wasn’t. All nicknames, no last names. I haven’t talked to Connor in forever, but maybe if I had I would have figured it out.

  He’s had her for two weeks, but I had her for over ten years. Will she really pick him over me? Fuck! I hate this. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough. We pull up to the girls’ house all at the same time, Daniel and I jumping out of our trucks in a race to find Kate. As soon as Jess opens the garage, we’re painfully aware Kate isn’t here.

  Jess pulls out her phone and rapidly scrolls through her text messages. “The last text she sent says she was going to the gym. Marc’s gym isn’t in the best area, and this time of night she’ll be alone. Connor, can you please go and check on her?”

  “Sure, angel, text me the address. Keep an eye on these two while I’m gone and make sure they don’t do anything stupid.”

  I’m still fuming from hearing she’s with Marc to pay too much attention to Connor. I lean up against my truck and nail Jessica with a gaze.

  “She’s still hanging out with Marc? For the love all that is holy, why hasn’t that son of a bitch fallen off a cliff yet?”

  Jessica actually laughs at that, and as pissed off as I am, it’s really nice to see her smile. “Mike, you’ve missed a lot. Kate and Marc are really close. Had you stuck around, you probably could’ve hindered that growth, but now they’re thick as thieves. She’s probably over there filling him in on all of tonight’s developments and asking for advice.”

  If I said all the expletives out loud that are running through my head right now they would think I’m crazy. I guess time hasn’t changed my feelings for Marc except making my dislike for him even stronger.

  “Why do you care, Mike? You’ve been out of the picture for almost four years. She’s my girlfriend, and if it doesn’t bother me it shouldn’t bother you.”

  Oh hell no. I’m so worked up right now I don’t even care if he’s my best friend.

  “What’s it to me? I’ll tell you, Daniel. Marc wants to fuck Kate, and if he hasn’t done it yet, it’s still the first thing on his agenda, guaranteed. He’s a piece of shit that has wanted in her pants since he was old enough to know what fucking was. If you love your girlfriend so much maybe it should bother you!” By now I’m up in his face, fists clenched at my side. I can’t believe he doesn’t
care.

  “Enough, you two, we’ve had enough drama for one night, don’t you think? Listen, this isn’t going to resolve anytime soon, so why don’t you each take separate corners in your trucks. I’m not in the mood to monitor a pissing match tonight and I think you both should do yourselves a favor and keep your distance from each other until after you talk to Kate tomorrow. Deal?”

  “Deal,” we reply in unison

  Finally, Connor texts us and tells us to go back to his house and he’ll meet us there in a bit after he stops by to say goodnight to Jess. We let ourselves in, not saying a word, but the look in Daniels eyes tells me he has so much he wants to say and I’m sure he gets a similar feeling from me. I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want to hurt him, either. This situation is probably as bad as it can get and nothing short of a miracle is going to fix it.

  Finally, Connor comes in and chooses to talk to Daniel first, which is understandable. They have been friends longer and Kate is technically his girlfriend at the moment. Then he comes and talks to me.

  “She’s fine. She was with Marc working some things out. I know you don’t like him, but you’re going to have to deal with that and a lot more right now.”

  He’s frustrated and I can tell he wants to lay into me.

  “I know I will.”

  “Look, Mike, this situation is so much more complex than you could ever imagine. I need you to understand something, though. Kate is my sister. I would lay down my life to protect her. Tread lightly with how you proceed. Not only is her mental state on the line, but her whole heart is very delicate. It’s taken her a very long time to try and let go of her past enough to move forward with her future. Don’t fuck this up for her.”

  “She’s not the only one that has to deal with the past, Connor. You can’t tell me you’ve been immune to my life the past few years. I’ve obviously been trying to forget about the past. It’s cool, though, you need to take sides in this and protect Kate and Daniel. I get it, no hard feelings.”